12. Obligation Plot in Caelum Prime | World Anvil

12. Obligation

Emotional Impact: Show, Don't Tell: Instead of saying "Abby cried" or "Abby sighed", use vivid descriptions of her actions and body language to convey her emotions. For example, "Tears welled up in Abby's eyes, blurring the bright colors of her room" or "Abby's small shoulders slumped with defeat." Raise the Stakes: Consider upping the threat level from Moontail. Does she physically harm Abby? Subtly threaten the parents?
Strengthen the Worldbuilding:
The Kitsune's Motivation: Why do the Kitsune need gems? Is it power? A ritual? Hinting at the reason would add depth to the world. Harmony Veil: This location has potential. Describe the shrines and the beings who visit them. Is it a peaceful place or something more sinister?
Balancing Darkness and Wonder
Moontail's Duality: While Moontail exploits Abby, the grey collar and her sadness suggest she's not entirely free either. Hinting at this complexity would make her a more interesting character. A Glimmer of Hope? Does Abby find solace in Harmony Veil? Perhaps meeting another child in the same situation or discovering a hidden beauty in the gloom bells.

Themes

  • Child Abuse
  • Power and Exploitation
  • Loss of Innocence
  • Sacrifice
  • Cycle of Violence

Structure

Exposition

Abby Kipps has just finished celebrating her 9th birthday, but she doesn't want to sleep alone in her own room. Her parents Jennie Kipps and Rufus Kipps say they don't believe her about Moontail.

Conflict

Abby Kipps goes to bed where she gets into trouble with Moontail because she tried avoiding sleeping alone in her room.

Rising Action

Moontail takes Abby Kipps into dreams, a world that only Kitsunes can create. Here Moontail reminds Abby Kipps of what she's doing and why.

Climax

Abby Kipps mines gems for Moontail, putting them in a bucket, until she's past the point of exhaustion.

Falling Action

Jennie Kipps and Rufus Kipps find Abby Kipps dead in the morning.

Resolution

Moontail and Abby Kipps are in Harmony Veil where Moontail must help Abby Kipps finish crossing over.   Note: Abby Kipps sees other souls. Flowers?
Date:
2 Aurora 1990 IE
Plot type
Chapter/Short Story
Parent Plot
Related Organizations
Related Locations


Cover image: by Lady Wynter

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