13. Gone Wrong

Suspense and Pacing
Earlier Hints of Danger: While the dead cat foreshadows Lucian's fate, consider earlier hints of something amiss in the Star Copse. Strange sounds, unsettling folklore, or unexplained animal behavior could build dread. Vary the Pacing: Slow down descriptive moments like Ezra's discovery of the bodies for maximum impact. Speed up sections like the phone calls to create a sense of urgency.
Character Development
More About the Twins: While we learn about Lucian's cruelty, flesh out the other twins. Give them hopes, dreams, and fears to make their deaths more tragic. Ezra's Internal Conflict: Show, don't tell, Ezra's internal conflict upon learning about her twin sister. Is she angry? Sad? Wracked with guilt?
Ending
A Touch of Hope? While the story is tragic, a touch of hope could leave a lasting impression. Does Ezra dedicate the camp to her sister's memory? Does she find a way to appease the entity and prevent future deaths?

Themes

  • Secrets and Lies
  • Loss of Innocence
  • Consequences of Actions
  • Family Secrets and Burdens
  • Supernatural Mystery

Structure

Exposition

Ezra Hope is sad that the twin summer camp is wrapping up. Three sets of faternal twins (aged 16) ask to camp out for the night next to Star Copse.

Rising Action

The twins set up camp and play Truth or Dare. After doing the truth or dare chosen, each one of them has an adverse reaction, such as itching or a coughing fit.

Climax

The next morning Ezra Hope finds the twins dead.

Falling Action

After calling the authorities, she calls her father. He reveals the secret about her twin sister.
Date:
1 Crimosnfall 1995 IE
Plot type
Chapter/Short Story
Parent Plot
Related Organizations
Related Locations


Cover image: by Lady Wynter

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