20. Nemesis Plot in Caelum Prime | World Anvil

20. Nemesis

Character Development Deepen Luke's Character: We know Luke is a skilled gamer and has lost loved ones, but delve deeper. What are their motivations? What are their dreams outside of gaming? Fleshing them out will make them a more relatable protagonist. Expand the secondary characters: We get glimpses of the other testers' personalities, but fleshing them out would raise the stakes of their deaths. Give them quirks, backstories, or goals that make their loss impactful.
Plot and Setting
Balance Exposition and Action: The story starts with a lot of exposition. Consider weaving backstory and world-building details into the action or dialogue. Raise the stakes: Make it clear from the beginning that the testers are in danger, not just isolated. This will heighten the tension throughout. World-building: The descriptions of the fantasy world are a good start, but consider adding more sensory details to bring Tir na Amhran to life. Let the reader experience the beauty alongside the danger. Justify the connection to the testers: It's intriguing that the Sun Shields resemble the testers, but the reason for this connection needs to be clearer. Is it the Blight or something else?
Mechanics and Pacing
Consider the game mechanics: Think about how the testers interact with the game world. Do they have stats or abilities that influence gameplay? How do they feel the pain of in-game injuries? Pacing: The story speeds up considerably towards the end. Slow down some key moments, like the final battle, to build suspense.
Overall Tone
Horror elements: Lean into the horror aspects of the story. Describe the Blight and its effects in a way that chills the reader.

Plot points/Scenes

Act 1: Preparation and Beta Testing
  • Luke Parsons, a gamerr, joins other gamers for a beta testing session at Wild Citadel Headquarters.
  • The group meets the CEO, Owen Glass, and Project Manager Priscilla Gates, who briefs them on the beta test for the game Nemesis.
  • Luke and the other gamers discover that their computer cases have been altered to reflect themes from the game, raising concerns about privacy and personalization.
  • Despite initial reservations, the beta testing begins, and Luke immerses himself in the game world, encountering intriguing characters and quests.
Act 2: Gameplay and Challenges
  • Luke delves deeper into the game, exploring its mechanics, storyline, and challenges.
  • He encounters obstacles, fights enemies, and uncovers clues about the game's lore, particularly the threat of the Obsidian Blight.
  • As the beta testing progresses, tensions rise among the gamers, especially when two of them suffer mysterious health issues during gameplay.
Act 3: Confrontation and Resolution
  • Luke faces the final boss, the Obsidian Blight, within the game, using his skills and resources to defeat it.
  • Upon completing the game, Luke realizes that he is trapped inside the building, surrounded by darkness.
  • The story ends with Luke being engulfed by darkness, setting the stage for a thrilling continuation or resolution in future chapters.


  • The nature of reality
  • Corruption and free will
  • Sacrifice and loss
  • Determination and perseverance
12 Halcyon 2017 IE
Plot type
Chapter/Short Story
Parent Plot
Related Organizations
Related Locations

Cover image: by Lady Wynter


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