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Grandmaster Moony1

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15 Chapter 16 Chapter 17 Chapter 18 Chapter 19 Chapter 20 Chapter 21 Chapter 22 Chapter 23 Chapter 24 Chapter 25 Chapter 26 Chapter 27 Chapter 28 Chapter 29 Chapter 30 Chapter 31 Chapter 32 Chapter 33 Chapter 34 Chapter 35 Chapter 36 Chapter 37 Chapter 38 Chapter 39 Chapter 40 Chapter 41 Chapter 42 Chapter 43 Chapter 44 Chapter 45 Chapter 46 Chapter 47 Chapter 48 Chapter 49 Chapter 50 Chapter 51 Chapter 52 Chapter 53 Chapter 54 Chapter 55 Chapter 56 Chapter 57 Chapter 58 Chapter 59 Chapter 60 Chapter 61 Chapter 62 Chapter 63 Chapter 64 Chapter 65 Chapter 66 Chapter 67 Chapter 68 Chapter 69 Chapter 70 Chapter 71 Chapter 72 Chapter 73 Chapter 74 Chapter 75 Chapter 76 Chapter 77 Chapter 78 Chapter 79 Chapter 80 Chapter 81 Chapter 82 Chapter 83 Chapter 84 Chapter 85 Chapter 86 Chapter 87 Chapter 88 Chapter 89 Chapter 90 Chapter 91 Chapter 92 Chapter 93 Chapter 94 Chapter 95 Chapter 96 Chapter 97 Chapter 98 Chapter 99 END

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Chapter 47

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“What the hell…?”

When my eyes opened, I was greeted by the sudden sight of dead and foggy forest after carefully standing up straight from lying position. My head throbbed from all the pain and dizziness I felt while looking around myself, trying to solve where exactly I am right now. The place itself looks nothing like anything I have ever seen before as everything is completely lifeless, even though there are many tall and dead trees around me.

I remember helping out Eve in preparing dinner before heading to bed…wait, that gave me the answer I was looking for! This is no longer a reality but a dream that made me realize what is going on with my current situation. However, this also means that my real body is currently sleeping safely without any danger of being killed or harmed by anyone. “That is relief,” I muttered with sigh, “since I am aware in my dream, then perhaps I could control it with my mind. Although, this is my first time being aware enough that this is nothing more than a dream,” I said to myself, “I wonder how much of my conscious mind will be able to influence and control such an environment?”

Aside from this lifeless and dead forest, the notable detail I noticed in this dreamscape was the lac of presence in snow and color everywhere. There are no people nor animals here, just me and the lifeless environment. In addition, there are no sounds except for my breathing and movement of feet against the colorless ground beneath me as I carefully walk towards a random direction.

What the hell am I doing here? I should be trying to wake up from now, but I am currently too intrigued by this lucid dream. Moreover, I feel strangely comfortable being in this dream despite knowing that it is not real. Perhaps because I can still think freely in this dream or is it simply due to having no worries at all in this dream.

This thought crossed my mind when I came across a cemetery that looks like it has been abandoned for years. The cemetery itself does not look very appealing as most of the tombstones were broken down and damaged by unknown forces. But it is worth expecting something inside, so I decided to check what lies behind those ruined tombstones.

As I entered the opened gate with large fence surrounding the cemetery, I found the place covered in what appeared to be white frost and frozen earth as everything seemed to be coated in ice despite having no color in my dream. I saw some graves are still intact while others have fallen apart completely or even buried under the layers of snow covering them, yet I managed to find one that appears relatively untouched from time.

“Father?”

It cannot be…the untouched tombstone has my adoptive father’s name engraved on it. My eyes widened as I kneel before the grave and stared at his name etched onto it. This is something else. I know that having a funeral is impossible since my father’s skeleton body was unable to be identified and if it was, no company would accept him nor have the money to pay such expansive fees. Yet, I see an unfamiliar tombstone in front of me.

My heart beat fast and hard as it pounded against my chest with gratitude and depression. No, this is just a dream and there is nothing to worry about. Yet, seeing a tombstone as a reminder of my deceased, adoptive father even if this was just a dream had made me tearfully happy.

“You…you were the best parent anyone could ever ask for…” I tried to suppress my emotions but it did not work, tears started flowing out of my eyes as I hugged the tombstone tightly, crying uncontrollably. I do not want to wake up from this place, I wanted to stay here forever and live in peace. But I know that I must continue living even though I am alone.

“I am so sorry…for not being the best son you wished for.” I said to myself with remorseful tone as I continued to sob softly. “Forgive me Father, forgive me everyone who is also grieving over your death!”

This was all because of me, no one else is to blame! If I had done things differently back then, none of this would have happened. Yet, it appears like everything has already been set in motion by fate and the past cannot be changed. The only thing that can change now is how I choose to move forward from this point onward.

“Is it because of me dad? It is because that bringing me into your life caused your demise? Should I have died with the rest of the villagers and my childhood friends? Was I…cursed to be born as someone miserable like myself?”

But no one answered, all I heard was the sound of my own heart beating faster and louder. My breathing became rapid from my emotions going wild. Only silence remains in the cold forest. All I hear is myself wailing as I continued to hug my father’s imaginary tombstone in tight embrace.

“Please…let me stay here forever. Please let me forget about this pain, let me live a peaceful life without any regrets…”

The last thought left in my mind before a thundering roar echoed inside my ears, causing me to bolt up straight from my embrace, “w-what was that?” I hastily turned my head to look around, searching for the source where the noise came from.

All I got was empty-handed, only the silence of nothingness. As if there is no one else in this forsaken world but me and this dream itself. Then again, what was I thinking when a lightning strike suddenly occurred somewhere near me? However, the loud thundering sound was perhaps just the figment of my imagination.

“I need to relax, perhaps being high in emotions can produce something like that,” I said to myself as I exhaled slowly, staring up at the foggy sky with closed eyes. “This is just a dream, no need to worry.”

Then, a gust of wind blew by, sending a cold chill down my spine. A shiver ran through my body, causing me to feel uncomfortable and uneasy. It feels so real, almost as if I am still in reality, resulting my eyes to open as I unexpectedly looked back at my father’s tombstone.

Putting aside the sudden appearance of cold existing in my dream, I wanted to point out that there…new or repaired tombstones near it, with their names engraved on them. And those names I recognize by heart.

“How did…?” The dream gets weirder and weirder by every moment passes. I swear that the tombstones were broken near it when I first arrived here and now sudden new-repaired tombstones came to existence with each engraved name that I know from memory.

“My abusive father, Doctor Sol and my friends are all engraved on their own tombstones. Are they merely just memories or do they mean something else…?”

As if reading my mind, I heard the voice of a woman speaking from my right ear, “I know what you lost,” the sudden sensation of breathing made my skin prickle and hair stand up. Instinctively, I quickly spun in motion to find myself facing a mysterious young woman with silver hair and ponytail, wearing a black dress and carrying an umbrella.

Seeing someone that came out of nowhere, especially in my dream where is no sounds had caused me to fall on the snowy ground with my ass, looking at this person with confusion and impending fear of being caught off guard by an entity capable of acting on its own within my dream.

“W-who are you?” I asked nervously, not knowing whether this dream entity is nightmare or something entirely different, but I could feel that she was staring at me as the young and mysterious woman placed her unoccupied fingers over her lips with a look of amusement on her face.

“Oh, my is that how you treat a lady?” She playfully replied, causing me to raise an eyebrow while still sitting down on the snow, “is that your way of greeting? No wonder why you are so confused.”

Not sure what to say next or even do, I only remained silent, allowing myself to be stared at by her. The feeling of anxiety is slowly creeping up inside me due to the unfamiliar presence of this woman as something feels off about her, like she is more than some entity made up in my dream but someone who is alive and actually real.

The young woman finally spoke after several seconds of silence, crouching her whole torso towards me with extended hand reaching towards me, “My name is Azrael, some call me Lady Death but Azrael is fine young man,” she giggles softly, “so I am told.”

I stared at her for a moment, taking in her appearance which was rather unique, from the short silver hair to the black robe and umbrella that looked almost antique. The mention of ‘Lady Death’ implies that she could be some deity inside my dream or…possibly death itself visiting me for some reason? It is hard to tell, but I cannot help but feel as if there is something special awaiting for me with this woman.

“Azrael?” I repeated, “are you the God of Death or something? To take my soul or what not?” I chuckled nervously, but it did nothing to quell my fear. This is just a dream, right?

She smiles at my question before suddenly grabbing one of my arms, pulling me up and closer, leaning in until our noses touched, “that is quite amusing coming from such an ignorant human like yourself, young Adam,” she chuckles softly, “as for your question, I am the angel of death, a type of person that observes the souls of the deceased,” she whispers into my ear, causing me to blush in embarrassment from her close proximity, “and I have been observing yours since you were born, little boy.”

“W-what?” I asked, looking away while blushing from being so close to someone who is supposed to be dead, “why are you here then? What do you want with me?”

“To observe and study a certain individual’s personality, that is all.” She said, smiling gently at me as she gently let go out of her hand from my arm, allowing me to breathe freely again as she moved back to give me some space, “and you are someone that has always intrigued me for a long time now,” she continued.

I stared at her blankly, “but why me?” Why are you talking to me now? If you truly say what you said, then why would the angel of death be so interested in the likes of me?” I questioned, still confused about the whole situation.

She placed her finger on her lips, contemplating for a moment before finally speaking up once more, “because you are unique, Adam,” she giggled lightly, “from the day you were born, I was watching over you, studying every move you made and everything you did. And even in the face of death and despair, you always strive to survive and live another day despite how many times you tried to give up hope.”

So that means..!

“You were watching me the whole time?” My eyes widen from this revelation, gritting my teeth in anger, “so why didn’t you do anything?! Why did you let me suffer and have those I cared about die while you only just watch like this is some sick entertainment show?!”

Azrael remained silent, her smile fading away as she looked at me with a serious expression on her face, “you think I am your savior?” She asked, tilting her head slightly to the side, “no,” she said softly, “there will be no such thing as salvation or salvation for others. You can only save yourself.”

I look down sadly after hearing that, “what are you saying, Azrael? That I am not worthy of being saved by anyone?” Hearing the words ‘You can only save yourself’ from her voice was making it harder to believe in any divine intervention that could happen in my life.

She smiled at me, shaking her head gently, “it is not so much about whether you are worthy or not, but rather you should take care of yourself before taking care of others,” she continued, smiling again, “if you ever need someone’s help, then ask for it from them without hesitation.”

“But…” I paused, looking up at her, “Then could not God intervene?” Azrael stared into my eyes and spoke softly, “as much he wants to, God cannot interfere in other people’s lives because his hands are tied,” she said simply, “God has already given everyone their own fate, even if we all think otherwise.”

Someone like God should not have the entitled of being called as one, “God huh…then he must be a selfish and incompetent bastard when the whole world had prayed for him and died for him!” I gritted my teeth in anger, clenching my fists tightly in rage, “when was he, when I was being tortured by my abusive father? When was he, when I was raped by my own adoptive mother? When was he, when everyone I cared about had died while I was at the lowest point of my life?! So tell me, why is God a coward?!”

Azrael looked away, her smile vanishing. Her eyes were clouded with sadness, “I am sorry, Adam,” she said quietly, lowering her head slightly in shame, sighing before looking straight at my eyes, “God always feels remorse and sadness whenever a part of his creation goes to the dark path. He knows what you are feeling, God knows all of the tragedy that is happening and he allowed all of these to have life function, for it serves its purpose, as well as all others.”

She paused for a moment, pondering on something, “he is not a coward, nor does he lack compassion,” she continued, “God allows free will so that everyone can choose their own destiny. If you want someone else to help you, then ask them instead of blaming God or anyone else for your misery.”

I..see, I guess I do understand the point of view in God’s take on suffering and what not, but I cannot shake the feeling of tears forming in my eyes, as I stare down sadly at my feet. It is true that God gave us all our own fate and no one should blame him if they have chosen to be bad people. But, this was also the same reason I blame God because of his inaction towards my upbringing.

I did not ask to be born, I did not want to be alive, I did not even want to exist! And that still bothers me till now despite all the pain and agony that has happened to me in my past life. No matter how hard I tried, I could never escape from the chains of fate that bound me.

The more I try to forget about everything…

“Here, why don’t we hug?” Azrael embraced me tightly in her arms, stroking my hair while whispering softly into my ear, “it will help you get out of bed,” she smiled sweetly at me, gently patting my head, smiling warmly. She looked like an angel that day as she held me close in a tight embrace.

“Huh? What are you-“

Before I could even say a word, Azrael kissed me on the cheek as my heart fluttered when I felt my face heating up in embarrassment. The warmth of her lips lingered against my skin, making the hairs on my body stand straight as she breathlessly whispered into my ear once more, “it is time for you to wake up, Adam~”