Sitting in the living room of Mervin’s house, alone and waiting for confirmation Azrael in whether she is alive or in coma, worse; dead.
I cannot believe we managed to pull this off; escaping from the situation unscathed and barely scratched, except for the wound on my back. Thanks to Azrael, she gave me couple of stitches. So now, I am able to stand straight and normally walk like normal people. Even so, I can feel the scar tissue is still tender and painful.
But I do not mind it. At least, I will be able to walk again—and hopefully, be able to return to see Lilim again. Although, I cannot help but comment on the fact that before I went into unconsciousness, an old man was with her.
At first, that was the plan when things went downhill. However, I never would expect she would someone with him, especially when he is a man that is more elderly than he looks to be.
Now, I have to question; who is he?
The appearance of him made those three ungodly monsters into backing off, when she told me in the aftermath that they were forced to obey and retreat from the scene. If not, circumstances might have been different and possibly fatal to them.
My thoughts immediately jumped to the possibility of him being an ally or friend of hers and the reason for their retreat is because of this.
It does not matter, my daughter is back; Liltih and those monsters are finally away from me, temporarily that is. Now, all I have to do is wait and check on her. That is right, everything will go well.
So there is no point in thinking anymore about this and focus what is on hand.
Turning on the Television with remote, news channel began to play with a headline: “Riot raided city governor’s tower, resulting in hundreds of deaths,” the screen showed the skyscraper in flames and vandalized.
My hand covered my mouth, shocked and regret filling my heart. My sadden eyes glazed over the screen; many people had died because of my selfish goal, a goal that was supposed to save my daughter. Now, it resulted in a substantial amount of unnecessary deaths. How could I be such a stupid idiot. Wasn’t there anything else but to protect my daughter from hell like this?
But there is no other way, not that I know off. I feel bad for them, but I would never regret saving my family if it means saving those I loved.
The news channel then switched to anchorwoman, “Our correspondent on the ground, is still trying to get more details, however, according to the police reports, it was believed that the rioters had broken in of the tower and started destroying the infrastructure of it’s buildings, this led to massive casualties among the citizens and soldiers alike.”
The images on the screen show crowds of people running inside the building, killing and destroying everything in it’s path.”As of now, we are still trying to verify the death count; although it is assumed that the death toll will be in the hundreds, if not the thousands. The army and police forces have been dispatched to the scene. They have confirmed that the military have cleared out the building and has secured the surrounding areas of the area.”
Oh my god, what I have done?
She continued, “currently, the person responsible starting is asian man wearing yellow trench coat,” the screen showed picture of me, “if you see this person, please report to the authorities as he is dangerous and wanted-“
My attention immediately shifted when the running sounds of footsteps coming to me, revealing an exhausted Mervin as he stopped in front of me. His body is trembling like leaves and his face looks like he ran a marathon; panting heavily while he tried to catch his breath. He was so pale, almost like his life was draining out from him.
“What is going on?” I stood up, alerted by seeing Mervin acting out of the ordinary, “Mervin?!” Saying louder, worried for his health.
Then he spoke, his voice shaky, “Adam! Did you see Lilim?!” He said while looking around the room, “The moment when we returned to her room to check on her, the window was open in her room and she was nowhere to be found. She was not in the kitchen or even the dining table. We searched every corner of the house but couldn’t find any trace of her!”
What?!
Running passed him, his calls faded into distance after I left the house in the middle of the night, adrenaline pumping in my veins, running full speed away from the house; desperately searching for signs of her.
Until I finally ended up in a dark alley, where long and behold-my daughter is there, standing in the circle of torn and mutilated corpses, based on their appearances; they appeared to be merely homeless drug addicts who she accidentally bumped into.
As to say what happened? Well, judging by the terrified and sobbing Lilim; I can say that they were about to assault her before she ripped them to shreds like a wild beast out of her own safety and safety, ripping out their organs and flesh piece by piece until they stopped bothering her completely.
When I approached towards my daughter, her eyes met mine and inaudible sentence came out of her mouth, “gah…daad…” She spoke, blood dripping from her mouth and hands, but it was not enough to stop the fear inside of me.
In fact, it only made it worse.
“What are you saying? It’s me, your dad?” A sad chuckle and smile formed on me, hugging Lilim in comforting her; trying to assure my daughter that everything was going to be fine.
But all she can say is ‘dad,” as if she was simply a baby learning her first words. Even though, it is like hearing from a child, but the look of despair and desperation is gone from her— the look was replaced by blank expression and emptiness, which only serves to deepen the crevice of fear that was growing in me.”Do you know…what happened?”
The only words I heard from her were gibberish and nonsense. Nothing else, not even a word that could be interpreted as an answer or explanation. My tears are pouring down her face and drip onto her shoulders, though there was nothing to be done about it.
“There you two are-oh, what happened?” Mervin, the mouse was albeit shock of the scene but was nonetheless a witness to this type of horrid incident; staring at the carnage in front of us, confused of how this came to be.
In his side was Azrael, sadden at the thought of seeing the loss of lives, however was more content of finding us, “Lilim!” She happily called out her name.
“Azzzz…!” Lilim run up to her and gave out embraced, holding each other tight like family.
But something is not right about her? Deep down, I know the answer. Yet, I don’t want to accept it. There was nothing wrong with her. The girl was crying and scared just to defend herself, right? So why the sudden change of behavior?
“There, there…” She gently caressed my daughter’s head. Her touch must be soothing and pleasant; not to mention gentle in calming her down. “Hey…what is going with her? Why is she speaking weirdly suddenly? Is she alright?” I asked, looking back and forth between both.
They glance at each other, sadden and regret appearing in their eyes before Mervin finally speak the truth, “When she woke up…your daughter…no longer remember who she was,” The answer had made my world turned upside down, feeling the immense sadness, guilt, and shame of this; unable to comprehend that this girl I raised, my own child; broken down like this.
“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
Tears stream down my face, realizing now that this daughter is not the same person anymore. Darkness slowly consume my soul and vision, shrieking in misery and pain towards the sky. Unable to handle the pressure, my mind started to snap, shattering into pieces like glass.
Then those voices came back, mocking me, ‘alone. Scared. Afraid. Depressed,’ they were whispering to me. Each word was true, a cold reality that can never be taken away from me. For the first time since the incident occurred, I accept them.
I accept my darkness.
My bones begin to crack slowly and evolve as I feel my humanity slipping away, screaming madly in my own sorrow and misery that is pouring down on me like a flood of rain, drowning me to the point of giving up who I am.
That came to stop when the darkness of my vision shifted back to reality when my daughter called out to me from the light, “da..dadd..y?” Snapping back to reality, I fell on the ground with my knees touching the floor, still weeping heavily. It wasn’t long before tears started to dry out, leaving the bitter taste of salty sweat on my lips.
“Adam!” Mervin and Azrael carried me up, helping a friend to stand up back in his two own feet, “you scared us there,” he said with a sad expression on his face. Although he did not show it on the surface, his emotions were boiling; his concern for me was unquestionable. His feelings were genuine despite not being closed friends.
God, that was embarrassing. I cannot believe I just did that, throwing a tantrum in the middle of the alley way. While still in disbelief and confusion, that was not the case for this girl that is standing in front of me.
My daughter was also…crying for me?
I cannot believe in accepting of giving up, like this, it’s too hard to deal with the truth of the situation, how can she not remember anything about herself. Even if she can recall things, is that really okay for me to consider this girl my daughter?
Of course…of course yes! She is still my kid, no matter what.
“Sorry about that Lilim,” I approached her with a comforting smile, removing my trench coat and handing it over to her to keep my daughter warm, “here, wear this. This should keep you warm,” I told her.Azrael asked a question to the both of us, “So what happened to the two of you?” she inquired. Her tone is casual and easy to talk with like a close friend. A small glimmer of hope; “I don’t believe you will just continue living in this city?”
Sighing, “I am going to leave this city with her in hopes of finding something or someone to cure her mind,” my voice carried the resolve of a leader of men, a soldier ready to fight in battle.
Mervin shook his head, his eyes wide open with a hint of fear, “Don’t do anything rash, Adam. You cannot simply leave without our aid,” he reasoned, “If we do not find someone to treat this child’s condition, she will surely die. What are you going to do when your daughter dies?” He then looked to the side where the girl is, “You can’t let that happen, Adam.”
No, I won’t let her die. Not on my watch, “you are not going to have to about that,” I left with Lilim, holding her close, leaving the two alone and accepting my resolution in doing so, heading straight to the unknown.
I will not lose, not anymore. I promise.
Single tear ran down from the corner of my eye. That was all; a single drop. Yet it appeared like a river flowing down my cheek.
Hope to keep preserving the little thing that is still inside of me.
Never going to lose another one that is precious to me the most. Sorry, this will be my battle, my own war against whatever hellish obstacles that are ahead of me, Lilim…?
