“Augh, my head…”
My eyes were still shut; yet, the illuminating bulb on the ceiling was already too dim to be seen. Blinking several times, I tried to clear the sleepiness from my mind. Although, the blur still lingered on in the corners of my vision for a moment.
When my eyes finally open-I scan my new surroundings, taking full details that I am inside a medical clinic room. Aside from laying on a bed, sitting near me was exhausted and sleeping Eve.
“Eve…” I gently smiled, she brought me in this hospital. Watched over me like a loving spouse; even though, were not wife and husband yet.
Sighing, I stared at the ceiling, deep with my thoughts. It is not that bad, perhaps it is better if it is like this. Not to mention, I cannot let go of the feeling that something is bugging me other than wearing this patient gown.
Lilim, huh? That brat…if the thought of her being my biological child is real—then there is no doubt that her mother is the bitch I have known from long time ago. If..If this little girl is my own daughter, I-I don’t really know what to do with her. Could I even care and lover this kid as my own child even though she was conceived by a rapist of mine? Is it possible to raise and love a naturally born monster that isn’t even human to begin with?
Aside from the fact that this is not like normal, could this be an illusion or delusion; perhaps, this is just the hallucination of someone with mental issues. Perhaps it is only a dream and this is not happening to me.
Nah, what the hell am I thinking? I feel like I’m losing myself over this. Even if kid is my real child, Lilim is still a misguided daughter of mine, right? Maybe, just maybe, I can raise her as my own and possibly rehabilitate her from the darkness. If that is the case, then this is only for the sake of my family.
Ahh, this is so confusing. So much that it doesn’t seem to be worth it.
Sounds of movement from the side of my bed can be heard; it appears she is waking up, much to my relief of the long hours of waiting. A sigh escaped from between my lips, and with that, her eyes opened.
Her gaze is like the sun that is shining bright from the heavens, “Adam! You are awake,” Eve smile brightly with joy. She was the first in this empty room to wake up and greet me, “I am so-” Smiling in return, I cut her in mid-sentence, “I know, and thank you for bringing me here. I really mean it, you are truly the best person I ever been with and nothing will change that.” With that, we shared a moment of silence; staring into each other’s eyes. Her expression was then filled with concern and worry.
“Thanks but Adam, can we talk about that…little girl?” Eve’s tone was anything aggressive or anything like that, more of the impression in being doubtful at the situation. It wasn’t like this before, but now that this happened to us, it made the entire thing more serious. There were a lot of things that needed to be discussed.
Oh, I see where this is going.
Breathing out heavily from the sudden realization, I stared blankly and replied to her question; “Of course, about the girl, about everything in general actually. What else can we discuss if not about that?” I didn’t want to keep it silent anymore and let the words flow.
She fidget her fingers nervously, looking at her own hands instead of me, “I…I sent her to the doctor to have a DNA test if this girl is really your…” Eve turn her head at the side, mixed emotions showing on her face, “daughter.”
My voice became louder and harsher, “So? Did they find anything out?” I ask as soon as possible to avoid wasting time; hoping to get to the point of why she brought this to my attention.
Eve sighed, and looked downwards, rubbing her forehead like it hurts, and said, “I do not know yet. We have to wait until the doctor comes back into this room and tells us about it. They had to take a quick sample back to the laboratory to get the results. Then they will come back and tell us,” she paused, pondering about something else.Nodding, “if the off chance that she is my biological daughter, what should we do about her?” My voice sounded more than indifferent; it sounded uncertainty.
Part of me wanted to be happy and relieved if this child wasn’t mine. Another part wished to be delighted that it might be true that the little girl is really my daughter. But another, darker part, the one that is scarred and hurt from memories, did not wish to meet this lost cause of a kid I did not know and raised as my own.
And, I don’t want to be reminded of the past. Of how much pain and suffering that I went through just to keep on living no matter the cost.
But could I really accept this kid if she is my own biological daughter? Can I really rehabilitate and make Lilim as normal and happy like a real human being.
Then my thoughts were cut short by Eve, finally giving her answer to this predicament, “we raise and take care as our own daughter,” she answered; sounding determined. She took a deep breath and continued with a more serious tone of voice, “remember these words? ‘That as long as we have each other, we can get through together?’ “
Eve is right, yet something else is nagging in the back of my mind. A worrying thought that was trying to surface from the depths of my brain.
“What if she is not human?” The words that came out of my mouth is like a whisper that barely reach the ears of the woman in front of me—the most important person in my life. She look surprised with my question, though Eve quickly recover from the shock first.”It does not matter if she is not human, Adam. She is still our child,” Eve answers with confidence, though, there was a slight hesitation at the end of her sentence; it appeared like she was not sure whether it is true or not.
“If she is not human, then what makes you think that raising her would be alright,” I asked, though it felt like the air around me froze and became thick, hard to breathe.
“Because, Adam, it is not about what is inside of her, but it is about what is in here.”
That answer felt like I was struck by brick on the face. if there is a chance that this little girl of ours still has an inch of humanity left inside her-then it is worth it to try to rescue and heal her. To be the father and mother that she needs. That is why. Because it is not about what is inside of her, but it is about what is in here as Eve said.
As my lips were about to open, the door suddenly opened-causing our full attention to turn towards the entrance; and there stood Lilim and an elderly man wearing a white laboratory coat with glasses.
“Good morning Adam,” The old man greeted with a polite smile.
Before we could even start speaking, Lilim ran to us and embrace Eve much to our shock, “your the best miss! Thanks for helping daddy!” Her innocent voice filled with joy, like a bright sunbeam. Even though the two of them had just fought to the death, she seem to be friendly with Eve.
The old man or rather, doctor coughed to gain our attention, “now if you may allow me to explain, I am Doctor John; the head of the hospital,” he introduced himself.”Well, doc. Why don’t we get straight to the point?”
Hearing my pressuring words, the doctor nodded. Then, he took off his glasses and placed them on a nearby table. With that gesture, he sat on a chair not far from us, “regarding your injuries, everything about your physical health is fine. So in turn, neither of you have to pay for the hospital bills,” the doctor announced with a satisfied tone.
From hearing the statement, Eve and I were relieved from being spared financially from this generous doctor. Being in the hospital is one thing, but losing money is another; however, if we had health insurance, that would be a different story.
“Now as for the main issue—the young lady—” the doctor turned to curious Lilim who was sitting on Eve’s lap before continuing, “that regarding the DNA test between you and her in confirmation of-“
Let’s just get it over this, “spill the beans already,” I interrupted him.
Releasing an exasperated sigh, the doctor sighed, “I was hoping to avoid this conversation entirely, but since it seems like there will be no escape, let’s proceed. Lilim is your biological daughter,” he stared at me with unflinching gaze.
For a moment, time appeared to stand still. It was like the air around us froze; and even the blizzard outside the window ceased to exist.
Should have seen that coming.”Okay, so what now?” I asked to clear the foggy atmosphere. To be honest, I should have expect that answer. Not from the doctor, not from anyone.
He stood up and took his glasses from the table, “If you wish, I can give you the papers regarding the DNA test if you want. And in addition, you three are free to leave, ensure not to leave anything behind. If not, then stay here. We can talk about the details later.”
“I’m good doc, were going to leave in a couple of minutes. Just, uh, let the three of us alone in this room.”
Understanding the meaning of those words, the doctor left the three of us alone without saying further words other than farewell. Once the door closed, Eve and I looked each other in the eyes. Our gazes met; it felt like eternity. Neither of us knew what to say.
Until Lilim decide to speak for us, “I knew it! Your my daddy!” She happily exclaimed, standing up close to my bed. The little girl was smiling from ear to ear, pure excitement written all over her face.
As for me?
I can’t even begin to describe how I feel.
So I laughed at this awkward situation. A laugh that wasn’t genuine but sounded like a broken record from an inexpensive radio. Laughing too hard made my chest hurt, and tears streamed down my cheeks from the pain. All this is happening because she is my daughter and I do not have any idea of what to say to her; that much is obvious.
There are so many things that should come out first from my mouth, and yet there isn’t anything that could fill that void within me.
Noticing my distressing change of demeanor, Eve spoke in my behalf, “Lilim, honey. If you mind me asking, can you tell me why you left your mother?” She said with concern in her voice.
Her question hit the mark. At least it did for me.
Lilim turn to her, placing a finger over her chin in contemplating display, “well, mommy told me to kill and maim when I turned five, mommy was mean and left me in the wilderness. She was a bad parent, but not daddy,” her eyes glanced at me; the smile on her lips never faded.
Bad parent? Hah! Lilith is far worse than just being an awful mother, she is a demon.
“How did you know about his name?” Eve turned to asked, looking like a detective trying to solve a case. It was a valid observation. How does a child that young knows about having a father and the concept of it? Especially since the kid never physically met him until now.
The girl then sat at the far edge of my bed, “because mommy told me about him. She told me amazing things about you daddy,” Lilim gave me an adorable smile; it reminded me of the times when I was kid and my childhood friends.
“What is so amazing about me?”
Her adorable smile was not so cute anymore, instead it was more monstrous and evil than before, “mommy told me how weak you are, how you can be tortured and toyed with like small animal. Mommy told me about the horrible things that happened to you.” Her tone was chillingly cold as if reliving those horrifying moments. My stomach churned when hearing about the torture done on me by her.
As if reading from a book, the words of a sick, twisted, and deranged madman; the kind that enjoys watching people suffer and cry, came from between her teeth: “that is why she love you daddy! Because mommy’s plan is to make you hers!” The look on her face made me shudder.
I feel like I am making a huge mistaking taking her in our life.
