Everything is burning around me like before, the facility is no longer here. It was destroyed, only ash remains. In front of me is Claire’s skeleton, standing with her excitement pose but all of her skin and clothes are gone exempt her bones. I do not know what happened to anyone else, but deadly explosions like this; everyone is already dead but me as I remained on the floor covered with debris, barely injured from its destruction while still in my kneeling position.
Despite the remnants of smoke and flames surrounding me, there is a light source that emanating from somewhere far away at the corner of my eyes, yet does it matter when everyone I loved is gone? Should I even call for help at this point?
No, none of this matter anymore. Nothing does, except to let myself die and cease existence with my own two hands. But as the blaring light becomes closer, the sounds emanating from it became clear; it is ambulances and firefighters heading to my destroyed sight.
“Ha..ha..ha..” Hilarious, why do everywhere I go, people die around me? The never-ending flames that follow behind me are nothing more than a reminder of how much pain and suffering I endured throughout my life.
I can hear several firefighters and rescue units scattering around me like flies, trying to put out the fire and look for survivors. They were probably responding to calls about loud explosion around their area. But if they knew what happened here, would they really care or come back for another round? Probably not, just like everyone else.
Something has caught my eye among the debris, a dirty scalpel lying on the ground next to me. It is tempting to pick up the blade and use it against myself, to escape all the pain that I have been feeling for years. With my remaining willpower, I used my hand to remove pieces of the litter covering the scalpel next to me, but as soon as I picked it up; voices spoke inside of my head, unknown words echoing through my ears and mind.
‘Do it, do it, do it, do it, do it.’
The voices became louder and clearer, forcing me to hold the scalpel tight in my hands and lift it up above my neck. What will happen if I stab my own throat with this? Would the pain be enough to end everything that hurts so much or would it only cause more agony? The voices are urging me on as my arm moves towards my neck, ready to make the final plunge.
But before my fingers could touch my skin, my arms began to shake uncontrollably…as they were refusing to move anymore. It was as my body is refusing to allow myself to ending my existence by stabbing my own throat.
Let me die please, why does my fucking body refuse to let go of its last breath? Why will it not just let me kill myself already! This is not fair, this isn’t right at all!
I keep pushing forward, using all of my strength to push through my numb arms, trying to get out of the control that is preventing me from perform my suicide. And yet, my body keeps resisting against me. It is like I am being held down by an invisible force that is preventing me from performing any action whatsoever.
It is not fucking fair! Why is it so hard for me even to do something as simple as killing myself? My mind is still normally functioning and thinking clearly, but my body refuses to listen to what my brain is telling them.
As the voices became louder and aggressive, demanding me to kill myself, I began to panic as the pain in my chest was getting worse with each passing moment. Suddenly, a bright light shone into my eyes, blinding me for a moment as all thoughts inside of my head vanished leaving only clear and blank state. A voice called out to me, but I could not hear it properly due to my hearing becoming muffled, making me unable to understand anything.
It is useless to interact with them.
A group of firefighters immediately subdued me, laying on the dirty debris and my scalpel being snatched away. Likely because they thought that I was going to kill myself or were threat to those around me with the scalpel in my hand. After a couple of seconds passed, a police vehicle arrived in the scene to take me away from there. Two officers went outside their car, approaching me with suspicious looks on their faces. They must be wondering why I am carrying a scalpel and sketchy appearance of being in a mental asylum.
“You fellows have done enough, let him go and were going to transport this man to the nearest hospital.” One officer ordered the group of firefighters holding me down, resulting them to comply his request. “I want you guys to continue your work and leave us be,” The officer continued while waving his hands at them to get out of sight.
Seeing them leave, the two officers wearing black suits approached me with their police badges had stern looks on their faces like they were not used to seeing anyone like me.
One of them had a deep scar running across the right side of his forehead, which caused a bald spot in the middle of his head. He has short dark brown hair. His skin is tanned with an average height of six feet and one inch tall with a lean muscular body structure.
The other officer standing beside him was slightly shorter than him with the light complexion of a white man, but with a stockier build and blonde short hair. His eyes are a light blue color. Unlike the scarred officer, his face appears to be more clean cut and youthful looking compared to his colleague’s.
“My name is Mano and the one beside me is me Helson,” the officer with stockier build says to me while extending his hand for me to shake it. “We would like you to come with us as we need to conduct some questions about what happened here today.”
I remained lying, not moving with no expression spawned on my face. There is no point in saying anything anymore, I have truly become an empty husk with no will to live. It was pointless of living with nothing to look forward to or even a reason to do so. My existence is a meaningless burden that is only useful in providing others with their wants.
Mano retreated his extended hand back, glancing at his partner in confusion and concern. He must be wondering if I am really going to go along with this or just sit there like a stone statue while waiting for death to take me away.
Helson then approached me, kneeling down to my level as he placed his hands on his left knee, “I do not know what is going with you, but I know that you are still here and active. So please sir stand up and come with us for questioning, we will help find the person responsible for the destruction of this facility,” he said with an earnest tone.
After a long pause, I slowly rose from my position on the ground, placing both of my palms against my chest as I inhaled deeply before standing upright. When I finally stood up, following Helson; the two officers shortly turned to look at each other with a nod.
“Thank you sir, now please turnaround and place your arms at your back. You do not have to worry of being arrested, we just want to ensure if you do not pull a hidden weapon out of us,” Helson told me while I complied with his orders. The cold air of the morning day chilled my skin as the wind touched me, making me shiver slightly.
Mano pulled out handcuffs from his belt and fastened them onto my wrists. They were surprisingly light in weight and made of metal. Not a single bit of rust or any sort of dirt accumulated on it. I did not mind the feel of the cuffs though, too numb to react and think about anything else right now.
“We will lead you to the way sir,” Mano spoke with a firm tone, turning towards the parked police vehicle where they would drive me back to the station. “Do you have any questions for us?” He asked as we approached the car.
I remained silent as I followed him inside the passenger seat of the vehicle, directing me to sit at the back while Helson got into the driver’s side and Mano sat in his right After the doors had shut, Helson started driving the patrol car away from the destroyed facility with great speed.
The two officers tried to start a conversation with me, but I simply ignored their attempts. Instead, I focused on observing the outside scenery through the windows. The bright sunlight reflected off the snow that covered the ground and made everything appear white even when viewed under the blue sky.
All I can conceive is nothing, just emptiness, ignoring the normal conversation with the two officers in front of the car. Life is meaningless to me as I am planning to die soon in one way or another. I should be thinking about how to end this pain instead of focusing on pointless things.
My mind was clouded with negative thoughts and feelings of despair. There is no meaning to my existence anymore because of all the people I have lost along the way. It feels like I am living in a prison cell of isolation, unable to escape from the reality that awaits me.
“You okay there bud?” Mano asked, turning his head towards me. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling sick or something?”
I turned my face away from him, staring out the window as I continued to consider nothing. My silent response caused him to sigh in defeat. We continued driving for a few minutes before Helson stopped at the next traffic light.
“We are almost there,” Helson announced, sounding bored and tired of waiting. The light changed to green so he pressed the gas pedal, making the patrol car accelerate forward. I stared ahead, watching the passing buildings that were lined up along the streets.
There is nothing but pain in this world. Everyone around me had left me behind. All I have now are these two officers who did not know anything about what happened and they only followed orders blindly without thinking of my own well-being.
Perhaps they do care, but how would I know? These depressing thoughts are all I can feel right now as I slowly lose myself into darkness.
The car came to a sudden stop, causing me to jolt back with my eyes wide open. Helson turned his head back at me with a smile, “we are here sir, please remain seated until further notice,” he informed before the two officers left from their front seats, Mano then opened my door for me. Helson instructed Mano to take over while he walked towards the building that was visible through the glass windows.
“Come on buddy, the interrogation room is this way,” Mano urged, grabbing my arm and leading me inside. I followed Mano’s guidance, passing the glass door entrance, where hallways and offices could be seen through it. I glanced at the floor tiles, seeing cracks and worn out patches of paint. The smell of dust lingered in the air, giving me a hint that this police station is quite old.
Mano led me down the hallway to the end, turning left after reaching the end, where lies a door that display sign at the top, ‘Interrogation Room,’ it says. He pushed the door open, entering the small space with barely enough room for three people to stand side by side. There is an office desk with some paperwork and files laid on its surface, next to it sits another table which has several chairs arranged around it.
“Please sit at any of the chairs near the table and wait, someone will come here and ask you some questions bud,” he politely requested, turning away from me and exited the door, still having my handcuffs attached. I stood there awkwardly before deciding to sit in one of the chairs, my mind was still preoccupied about the events that happened earlier.
I do not know what I am supposed to think anymore. My thoughts are all scattered as if I were possessed. Is this how normal people feel when they have gone insane?
