“Adam! Adam!”
Voices spoke from far away, but it was a pleasant sound, a reminder of someone I recognize and cherish in the bottom of my heart as my eyes slowly pill open with the blurry vision of a person that had been trying to wake me up.
“I am so glad you are fine..” Tearfully crying over my lying body, kneeling down at my side. Her face was still blurry as well as the rest of the scenery, but it was comforting to feel the warmth of her voice and hear her soothing words.
“I thought we lost you there,” Skoll casually announced, sitting near the still blazing campfire of the previous night.
Was everything last night nothing more than a dream or hallucination? It is possible that being in the freezing cold in nude can create imaginary illusions depending on the individual’s body Even though the temperature is relatively natural, the air is frigid and biting like always; causing a chilling effect that can make a person shiver uncontrollably if stated too long out in the open.
“What…what happened?” I managed to got up by myself, having somehow regained my strength, “by the way, does anywhere know where Clover is?” I drowsily asked, rubbing my head from the painful throbbing sensation.
A Irish voice spoke in return nearby, “here ya lad, used a bit of magic to conjure your clothes,” Clover approached me, holding my enveloped and pile of clothing in his hands.
“Thanks,” I said while taking the offered garments from him. After putting it on properly, I felt relieved of the chilly breeze blowing across my trench coat; feeling much warmer now. “So how is everyone’s doing?” I asked, hoping to break the awkward silence hanging in the air.
“We need to talk,” Clover sighed, glancing towards the woods before returning his gaze back to me, “what happened after you have left Skoll?” His serious question made me feel immense discomfort of trying to remember last night.
Instead of hurting everyone here more, I lied; “I just passed out from the cold, that is all,” I answered. Clover looked like a stern father who is about to scold his son for something.
A few seconds later, Skoll joined at his side, “spill out the truth, human. A mysterious woman brought your unconscious body to us and told us everything except who she is and the name of the assailant that attacked you.”
The werewolf’s words were brutal and straight to the point, not pulling any punches or giving me an opportunity to lie again. Not to mention, all of my three companions are staring at me; their eyes were stern and demanding but are also concerned for my safety, which makes it harder for me to tell a lie.
So with a deep breath, I told them the half-truth, “all I can tell you is that I was saved by a friend of mine by the person who sexually assaulted me, okay? That is what I can tell you,” I ended the sentence with a pause before continuing, “it is just that I do not feel comfortable about mention…that specific person. Hurts trying to remember the recent events, ha ha,” weak laugh escaped my lips.
Eve chimed in the conversation, “I understand Adam, could you perhaps tell me the that raped you?” Her voice was weak and eager to hear the person that assaulted as if she wants to find that person and kill them. Even though Eve is a compassionate and sweet person underneath, her personality can change into a bloodthirsty killer when the situation calls for it.
Clover nodded in agreement with Eve before turning to look back at me and asking, “if you are not willingly to share arty, then at least tell us the name of that person who attacked you,” he demanded.
I tried to open my mouth, to say the name of that woman who I was once called a loving mother. But I can’t, the words couldn’t come out. They are like poison inside of me, seeping out and killing the life that is still there. My throat felt tight, and tears began to form on the surface of my eyes, ready to burst forth if I say her name.
As Eve approached to comfort me, I immediately sense a extreme dread of fear and anxious as she touches me on my shoulder, causing me to quickly pull away from her, “DON’T TOUCH ME!” I fearfully yelled out in my mournful state.
She gritted her teeth, tears flowing down like mine, “please…please tell me her name!” Eve was disturbed, angry and sadden of seeing me become a wreck. She was not expecting to see me in such a state.
“If it is too painful to tell us what happened, then don’t lad,” Clover said, his face was full of regret. He was not happy to be the cause of such a distressing event.
I closed my eyes, desperately trying to hold back the tears that threatened to spill over, building up the strength and courage to say that forbidden name; I then finally said it at the top of my lungs, screaming it with all of the emotions that was stored within.
“LILITH!”
All three of them were stunned with surprise. Their expressions showed that they didn’t expect to hear that person’s name. It made the moment even more agonizing than it already is—because it makes it real.
Eve knelt door in shame and disgust of herself as she violently tremble her closed fists in angry, “that…THAT BITCH!” Our shocked attention turned towards Eve, and we saw a side of her that we never expected to see ever. We could feel the rage, pain, and sadness of her.
I carefully try to calm the situation, “Eve, it is fine. You-” She cut me off with a loud shriek, startling all of our surroundings.
“IT WAS MY FAULT! I SHOULD HAVE STAYED WITH YOU, TO KEEP YOU SAFE FROM HER! AND INSTEAD…she..” Placing her hands on her face, she wailed loudly; the sound of her cries pierced the air. Her voice was so high-pitched and shaky.
Clover and Skoll looked at each other, unsure if they should say anything, but in the end, they decided to stay quiet and let things out.
When the crying continued, the silence lingered as the only thing that filled it. After a while of waiting, it appeared as though Eve had regained enough composure to stand up. When she did speak again, it sounded like a completely different person than before.
“Where is she, Adam? WHERE IS SHE?!” Eve demanded an answer from me. Although it appeared that she was only a few seconds of crying, it felt like hours went by. A wave of fear came over me when she asked such a question.
“Eve…don’t do anything stupid!” I tried to warn her; but, that was the last straw. With a sharp sudden snap, Eve sprint to the woods as I followed suit, “Eve! Eve! Come back!” She was faster than me, that is sure. Through the help of my judgmental instincts and feelings, including the light from the sun; I was able to catch up with her by using shortcuts. But, there was no use in chasing after her because there is no point.
With great speed and grace, she was running into the forest with determination in her stride. Before long, she disappeared from sight. Forcing me to find another alternative route to follow and stop her pursuit.
It felt like hours of continuously eventually catching up with her before losing Eve again. After what appeared to be like few hours of hide-and-seek, her non-stop running had came to an end when she collapsed and fell down to the ground on her knees.”I just can’t…I can’t do this anymore, Adam…”
Eve cracked and sobbing, but there was no tears coming down from her eyes. All that was visible were dry and dead-looking. It was the same expression that was present on a corpse. That was how lifeless she was.
Like the time when she was less human and more of a killing machine, an assassin who has lost all hope in life. The emotionless expression of a killer—that was the expression that was on her face now; a coldness and emptiness that was only seen in the faces of those that are uncaring of death itself.
I want to embrace her, to hug Eve and tell her that everything will be alright and we would have a nice cup of coffee but that is nothing more but a pipe dream and fantasy of mine.
The truth hurts…knowing now that I cannot touch her or any women anymore, knowing that the only woman who I trust and love dearly in the world for me is gone, feeling of despair that is too much to bear. And she knows. We both know. And it pains us so bad that the only thing we could do is cry. Crying for our loss but not letting it consume the two of us.
“Eve…” I approached in front of her, kneeling down at her level, “you didn’t know. It was not your fault, believe me. I don’t blame you. If it wasn’t for me, none of this would have happened. You did the best that you can. No matter what happens, it is not your fault. Don’t ever think otherwise,”my words were almost reaching out to her. Almost. But it never reached. Instead, it lingered in the air, like a lie, as if my hands could reach out and grab hold of it; but it is nothing more than an illusion.
She laughed hopelessly, “isn’t it? Then why am I still crying?”
My lips formed a thin line. My answer was simple, “no matter how broken we have become, no matter how much the world try to break us apart-all that matters is that we are alive and breathing. There are many things that are worth more than anything else,” and then, the moment passed.
“Adam? Will you ever be okay like this…?” She asked with more emotion than before.
Sighing, “you are implying to continue living like this? To struggle and suffer day after day; to live in constant fear of the unknown or the unexpected happening again? Is this the only option left to us now? No, these are not the choices that are given by us,” standing up tall, I looked up at the cloudy and clear sky in this morning.
Remembering the thought of last night that I wanted to die, it felt wrong saying those words. Because it was not the correct choice to choose death. Death was not the solution to all of our problems. Realizing that despite deep down I want to die from the fear of ever seeing Lilith again, the same fear which is keeping me in this state of mind.
That I have to remind myself as long Eve and my companions is with me; nothing will ever fully break me. Nothing is stronger than the bond of family. Family is everything to me. That is the reason nothing could stop me from continuing to survive and live for the sake of the ones that are dear to me.
I will keep on fighting, no matter the price. For the sake of the one that is important to me, I will prevail until all my options, choices and endurance are gone.
As long as she was with me and safe, nothing can defeat me.
“Eve! Do I have to remind you not to kneel in front of me?” She gasped in surprise, looking up to me from my change of impression.
I continued, “If there is something that will never let me give up—it is the fact that there are people like you who are counting on me. And most importantly, I have you at my side. So don’t kneel, get up Eve. Get up until your legs won’t carry you anymore,” I smiled as I continued.
“Even now, we still have a chance to escape. We will find a way to reach a new world. A better world meant for us. Together. If there is anyone who can do it, it is the two of us. Now stand.”
Eve stood up, “I will always be your blade, Adam,” a sad but happy and content expression spawned through her face.
