The tender warmth feeling from my hands began to fade away until only numbness remained. The psychological pain that had once been unbearable became just another distant memory. All I felt now were my fingers tingle lightly as they moved about in front of my face without any sensation or sense of touch whatsoever.
“Adam..?” Claire’s voice called out to me, but her words sounded like they came from a far distance. As my vision blurred, I could see her embracing on top of me, looking worriedly. I wanted to answer back to reassure her, yet, there was nothing I could say.
Our exposed bodies intertwined on the sheets while our limbs entangled around each other. We shared the same breathing rhythm together. The warm breath of hers mixed with mine as we lay naked in our bed, sharing the warmth of the blankets underneath us. Her soft skin felt smooth against my own body, causing me to be more relaxed than ever. My heart raced as I tried to keep my mind focused, knowing that she was already half awake.
“Uh, how is it going Claire? Wild night, am I right?” I asked casually, caressing her cheek gently. She smiled shyly and kissed my palm before whispering softly, “It was.” A contented sigh escaped her lips as she cuddled closer to me.
Then it hit me, how long have we been staying here? Is it even Sunday?
I gently pushed her back from my chest and steadily got up. It feels like I have slept for the entire day, but then again, I didn’t really enjoy my beauty sleep that much at all. I could not stop thinking about the terrible dream of my previous abusive father, making me feel anxious as I rubbed my eyes, trying to wake myself up properly.
Claire sat up from the bed and stared at me with worry, “Adam? Where you going?” I shook my head to try to clear out the grogginess, “Just feeling a little weird,” I said as I walked towards the bathroom, closing the door behind me and using the toilet.
My mind wandered aimlessly through thoughts, waited patiently until I finished relieving my bladder. Once done, I washed my hands and face thoroughly, dried off with a towel before returning to look in the mirror, seeing Lilith’s naked form staring back at me with an ugly mix of anger and smile.
Seeing or being reminded of her at any point in my life, even if she was just part of my mind playing tricks with me is something I do not wish to happen ever again. Not when I am this close to finally starting to move on with my life.
Because of my traumatic experiences, I cannot stop myself screaming out of fear of seeing hallucination of her whenever something reminds me of her. The memory that haunted me most of all was she raped me with such brutal force and cruelty. But I mustered the courage to continue living despite everything, not wanting to imagine in becoming another statistic like her.
So I sat on the floor, scared and shaking, looking up at the ceiling with tears falling down my cheeks. I tried to keep myself together, trying to hide my pain and suffering from Claire and others around me. I did not want anyone to know about what happened to me, because I would rather die than be subjected to the same fate again.
The bathroom door then went wide open, followed by loud running footsteps, Claire’s concerned and shocked expression as she stared at me with disbelief. “Adam, what happened?” She asked nervously, kneeling down next to me.
“Nothing,” I answered, shaking my head to try to calm my nerves, standing up slowly and wiping the tears away from my eyes with the back of my hand. My body felt weak after crying so hard for a while, but I forced myself to stay strong and face the world despite all that had transpired.
She embraced me with lovingly arms, comforting me, “Are you okay? Did someone hurt you?” I shook my head, hugging her back tightly as I whispered in her ear, “I am fine.” She hugged me tighter and stroked my hair gently, soothing me, “You can tell me anything Adam, don’t worry about it.” I held her closer, not wanting to let go of this precious moment we shared together, holding each other and being safe from the rest of the cruel world.
After some time, I pulled away and wiped the tears off my cheek, “Thank you Claire,” I said with a smile, “but perhaps next time, I should be the one doing that to comfort you. You are always there for me when I need help or support.” She smiled softly, kissing my forehead.
“If only…” she paused, “But if it was true, I want you to tell me your true feelings, Adam. Do you share any romantic feelings towards me?” Her question caught me by surprise, but I answered honestly without thinking twice, “Yes…yes, I do.”
Claire left out joy of cries as her face lit up with a bright smile and her lips curved into an angelic curve, “Really?!” She exclaimed, “That means…we love each other!” We embraced again in our embrace, not wanting to let go of each other for even a second.
“Let us make a promise right now, okay?” I asked her, “No matter what happens between us, no matter where we end up, you will never forget about me and we will always remember one another.” I kissed her cheek gently, holding her close, feeling warmth radiating through her body. “I am already yours, Adam,” she whispered as I stared deep into her eyes, “You know that I have always loved you since the very beginning.”
My lips shifted into a smile, “I love you to Claire. But now, we should get dressed and head home before it gets dark.” She nodded in agreement and let go of me, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand as we grabbed our scattered clothes and started getting dressed once more, preparing ourselves for a long journey ahead of us.
“Hold on my hand, Adam,” Claire warmly requested, “so that you will not fall behind.” I took hold of her delicate fingers in mine and held them tightly in my palm. We continued walking until we reached the main lobby, heading straight to the front desk agent from before who was still busy conversing looking up at his computer. He stopped his conversation and turned around, noticing us standing there, “had good time?” The bored clerk asked, resulting us to blush lightly as we tried to avoid eye contact.
“Yes, thank you,” she replied politely, “and here is your key,” she handed him the key with a smile, which he accepted without much notice, putting it inside the drawer.
The clerk nonchalantly waved us to depart as he resumed his conversation, “I do not want to know anything about that, alright? Just keep quiet, okay?” He said in an annoyed tone, “Just leave already, I have numerous things to do.” Claire frowned at his rude behavior but complied, leaving the hotel while I followed along, holding her hand tight and following her lead.
The cool breeze and illuminating light of the sun hit our faces after stepping out the entrance door of the love hotel. There were many people outside when they walked through the streets, chatting with one another, some walking their dogs or simply enjoying themselves by taking pictures.
We let go of our hands from the moment we reached Claire’s vehicle as we both climbed inside the car, locking the doors behind us with a sigh. Once again, she started driving towards the direction of the highway where my home is located, taking the route back to New York City.
The roads were full of cars, trucks and buses during this time as it was rush hour in the morning commute hours. But then, there are also those who would prefer to take public transportation instead due to traffic congestion on the roadways for most vehicles, making the trains and subways more crowded than usual.
We sighed deeply from the stress of having to drive in the heavy traffic, seeing other drivers speeding past us like we were nothing. It made us feel so small and insignificant among all these people, knowing that they could end up getting into a horrible accident at any moment if not careful enough.
After long stressful traffic, we eventually reached my home, parking at the sidewalk just outside the front door of my house. Before I stepped out, Claire’s hand grabbed mine tightly, “be safe, Adam,” she said with a gentle smile, thanking me for taking care of her throughout the entire trip.
I gave her a silent nod, returning her smile with my own as we parted ways after saying goodbye to each other. As soon as I knocked on the door, dad opened the door without even waiting for him to say anything, hugging me tightly in a short embrace before letting go, “tell me son, did you share the same room with her?” he asked with concern in his voice, “and how was she? Was she nice to you, alright?”
“Yeah, dad, everything went well. We shared the same room and how did you know that?”
He held my shoulders firmly, looking into my eyes, “because you spent an entire day with her Adam,” the answer shocked me as I had no idea what to consider it, but dad simply smiled, patting my back, “so it is true, both of you share the same feelings for one another. I am so thankful that you have found someone that makes you happy, son.”
Dad then looked down, “you are already a grown man now and must start making your own decisions. But be careful, son, there will always be people who would try to ruin things between you two. So, ensure you do not let them get close to you,” dad warned me as he placed his hands on my shoulders again, “I love you, son, you know that right?”
I nodded, smiling, “dad…” tears started forming in my eyes, “…thank you, dad…for everything, I mean it. If you had not adopted me eight years ago, then I do not know what would happen to me.”
Dad wiped away my tears with his thumb, “do not cry, son,” he said with a comforting smile, “everything happens for a reason. You were meant to live this life, you have been through so much pain and hardship growing up, but you made it out alive.”
Yeah, that is true. Everything that lead up to here was just preparation for the greater future ahead. The events of my past may appear like they happened by chance, but in reality, I was destined to survive all these obstacles. For whatever reason, I will always strive to find happiness for my sake alone and protect others around me at any cost. And now, I am ready to face the next chapter in my life as a father.
“Come on, lets head inside son, it is rather cold staying out in the snow,” Dad said with a concerned look in his eyes, “and also, I think we should discuss finding a fancy ring for your fiance, don’t you want to surprise her Adam?”
I chuckled lightly while shaking my head, “no, dad, she does not need anything fancy or expensive. It’s fine if she gets something simple.”
Dad sighed, “you really are a good man, son. And I know that you will be a good father like me, so promise me that you will take care of your children as well,” he pleaded with an earnest tone in his voice, “because I do not wish for them to go through the same pain that you had before.”
I nodded, “of course dad, I promise, I won’t let my kids suffer what I went through.”
Never I will let them become like me when my previous abusive father had done, Claire and I will raise them like normal people. That is why I am going to give my future family a happy life filled with laughter, love, and joy.
