Chief Walker was kind enough to bring me home after the whole signing papers was finished, the trip to my home was not far; although, we were able to pass some time by talking amongst each other. When we arrived at my home, I tiredly thanked Chief Walker for everything and bid him farewell with a handshake. He nodded back politely as I exited the vehicle and watched him drive away.
The cold air outside, made me shiver slightly from the chilly temperature. The wind blew against my skin causing it to become numb and stiff. It took me several moments to shake off the chilliness, but once I did, I decided to walk up to my door, opening the doorknob.
To my stupidity, it is locked. I remembered that my now deceased adoptive father always carries his keys whenever we went outside together. As a result, he would lock the house when he left. I sighed in defeat, knowing that I had to call someone to unlock it for me.
Hopefully, the key is in one of my pockets. I begin to check one of them and long-behold, I am holding it. “Thank god,” I said out loud, but I could not help how I had it the whole time? Was it blind luck or did I really had the key without me knowing?
It does not matter, from all of these events that transpired in my life; I will just keep moving forward even if it hurts trying to.
I placed the key into the lock and turned it around, unlocking the door. As soon as the door opened, the whole house was dark with the windows letting the outside light seep through. I stepped inside and closed the door behind me before making sure it was locked again. Once done, I proceeded down the hallway until reaching the kitchen, opening the refrigerator to grab a soda before sitting down on the dirty floor, my back against the bottom of the sink’s cabinets.
“What a fucking life,” I muttered under my breath while sipping from the can of Coke. I then remembered that Chief Walker had also given me a pack of cigarettes as a gift or reward for joining his police station team, “that grumps really knows how to take advantage of someone like me, huh,” I humorously added, pulling out a pack of cigars from my pockets.
I began lighting up one of the cigars after taking the pack, placing it between my lips and took a deep inhale, letting the smoke flow into my lungs. A few moments later, I exhaled with a puff of white smoke that floated away into the air before returning the pack inside my pockets.
“That hit the spot,” I said aloud, savoring the taste of tobacco as it coated my tongue. “Damn, that tastes good.” I continued to smoke and drink my soda until the can was empty, leaving only the ashes of the spent cigarette in its place which I quickly swept off the ground before throwing them into the trash bin beside the kitchen.
What am I even doing my life? What have I become? I ask myself while looking down at the kitchen floor. My mind wandered through the memories of my childhood days after being adopted by Doctor Sol had everything seemed so simple back then without all these bullshit problems and worries of living like this.
I never thought that I would be here now, just a shadow of a man who once lived in another world as I did not want to remember any of it, but what is done cannot be undone; it is too late for regrets. And if there is anything I regret about my life, it has been that I should have taken more care of those that I love dearly. If only I could return and change things, perhaps I would make a difference.
“Adam, honey…”
My face turned to horror, feeling the ungodly presence of her kneeling in front of me. I can see almost see her whole naked form despite my head aiming down at her feet, she is nude like before but with blood splattered around her body. I should be freaking out and losing my mind, but I refuse to.
Why? Because she is just hallucination, a bad one at that.
“Adam?” She asked again with a voice that carries fake concern. “It hurts does it?” Her voice sounded strange to my ears, like it was manipulated or something, but I ignored it.
I do not know how long I stood there frozen to the ground before I finally allowed myself to look up; there she is, our eyes met each other’s, and then I froze in place once more as if time had stopped. There is no denying that her beauty and evil are captivating. But why am I still standing here when I should be running away even though this is just my mind playing tricks with me.
She smiled, not a normal and gentle smile but a malicious one that makes me feel disgust and repulsion towards her. It felt like she was looking right through me and seeing everything I ever wanted from life. “You cannot run away from your mistakes honey,” she said while staring at me with those eerie red eyes of hers, “you will be the same Adam I know,” her mocking tone is very unsettling to the point of causing me to stand up.
“Shut up! You are just hallucination, nothing more, nothing less! Why will you not leave me alone?!” I screamed at her as she began to embrace me forcibly, making me flinch. “JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!” I shouted as loud as I could but it only made her laugh with a sinister giggle before saying, “Why? Is that what you want Adam? Do you really want to leave mommy?” She asked with an odd sense of innocence and sincerity that I find hard to believe.
The pain in my chest is growing heavier by the second, tears streaming down my face as she continues to torment me with these cruel words, “fuck you! fuck you! I hate you with all my heart, and never want anything to do with you again, you sick twisted bitch!” I cried out while throwing her off me, she fell on the floor with an audible thud, but that did not stop her from getting backup.
Lilith laughed in amusement, “Oh dear sweet Adam, you are so pathetic,” she said as she got closer to me. Her red eyes were now burning bright and glimmering with evil light as she approached me with a sadistic smirk, bringing her bloody hand to caress my face, “this is why you cannot have excellent things.” Lilith’s fingers gently traced along my cheekbone, leaving behind cold sweat in its wake, “because no one else would want to touch you, they only see your flaws and defects, because you are too weak and fragile to accept who and what you truly are.”
What…? What is she saying?
She continued, “You are not even worthy of being touched by anyone else, much less love or cherish someone. You deserve nothing but pain and suffering for being such a disgusting, selfish human,” she spat at me, struggling to hold myself from breaking down further, “everywhere you go, all those people you care and loved dearly; they will all die because of you sweetie, they will all die without you knowing it.”
Shut up! SHE KNOWS NOTHING! NOTHING!
“Y-y-you don’t know me!” I stammered, shaking my head. “I am just a normal boy, who happens to be born into this shitty world. What makes you think that you could judge or say anything about me?” My voice quivered as tears began to pour down my cheeks from the unbearable pain she had inflicted upon me.
Lilith slowly rubbed her hands between my chest and abdomen before cupping them over my chin and forcing me to look at her, “I know many things my sweet Adam. I know all of your pain and suffering, I know how hard it was for you to come out of your shell, I know how painful and difficult it is for you to make friends and form relationships with others, I know everything about you and you know why?”
Clenching my fists tightly, “why do you keep tormenting me? Why are you torturing me like this?!”
Her face shifted into monstrous visage, “Because you will always be my little boy.”
Just hearing those words made me snap to anger and insanity, violently pushing her down the floor before kneeling on top of her as I brought down my fists at her face like an animal. Her eyes widened in amusement and joy, “my, my! Did I hurt your feelings? Well then, how about this?” Lilith placed her hands at my cheeks, smirking, “hurt me Adam! Bring me your pain, anger and hate! Ahh, it will taste so sweet if you do!”
I screamed out loudly as I punched her repeatedly, trying to pummel away all the pain she had inflicted upon me. But no matter how much pain I inflict unto her, there is still more inside of me that I cannot let go until it consumes me whole.
“HA HA HA HA!”
She continued to laugh from every punch I threw at her bloody face, every moment of swinging my fists at her made her grin even wider as she took pleasure in seeing me suffer, “More, more, more! ADAM, I WANT MORE!” Lilith shouted out gleefully while enjoying herself.
I did not stop punching her until my hands became numb, I felt myself getting weaker by the second, but my fists continued to swing with no end in sight as I desperately tried to escape her wicked mind games and tormenting ways of torturing me.
For what appeared hours, her head became a bloody paste from my relentless punches that turned into mere slaps after hitting the back of her skull. Yet, her body was still alive and breathing just fine, “you know, Adam, I have never been so happy to see someone hurting themselves before.”
Her voice reverberated throughout the house, echoing through the walls as she smiled at me in amusement from somewhere, “your suffering is delicious. It feels good to watch you writhe in agony, knowing that I am responsible for this.”
I cried in pain, standing up with my fists bloody and broken at display, “I HATE YOU! JUST DISAPPEAR FROM MY LIFE! DISAPPEAR!!!!” My voice echoed like thunder as I yelled around my surroundings, I felt my heart pounding rapidly against my chest. The anger I had kept buried inside me began to bubble out, trying to release all the hatred I have towards her and her existence.
But no matter how much I showed my anger and hatred toward her, Lilith kept on continuing to mock me as if nothing happened, “hahaha! You are such a silly child. How can you hate someone who loves you?! I love you Adam! I love your beautiful sacrifices that had kept me alive!”
My fists clenched tightly as I punched nearby wall with force, “YOU TURNED ME INTO THIS MISERABLE PERSON WHO IS NOTHING MORE THAN A LOSER WITH NO FAMILY OR FRIENDS LEFT IN MY FUCKING, MISERABLE, SHITTY LIFE!”
Then the house shook with her laughter again, “ha ha ha! You are such a spoiled brat my dear Adam. Who cares about family or friends when you have me? Is it not better to be a lonely freak than be alone forever.” She mocked.
“NO!!” I shouted back at her, slamming my bloody fist into the nearest wall again, “You are nothing to me! Hear me?! NOTHING!”
Her voice sounded like a distant echo, “what makes you think that? What do you mean by ‘nothing’?”
A sudden invisible forced pushed me on the ground, causing me to lay on the dirty floor with my eyes widened at what had just transpired. Claire, of all places, is sitting between my crouch, however something is different about her.
The Claire I am looking at is a rotting corpse, flies and maggots crawling on her face, arms, legs, torso, everywhere as she was still wearing her clothes from earlier, but they were tattered and torn apart in various ways, exposing her pale skin that has turned blackish-purple.
Worst of all, she is choking me to death!
“You killed me Adam,” Claire shouted, her voice echoing around the room as her lips budged. Her eyes stared blankly at me with no emotion whatsoever.
“No! Claire, I did not do it! Please listen!” I yelled, trying to get out the words I wanted to say through the pressure constricting my throat.
She ignored me and continued to talk, “You did not do anything. You did not safe me. You let everyone die there, all because of you. It is your fault Adam, your fault, your fault…” Claire’s voice echoes endlessly in my mind, repeating over and over again until I fell unconscious from lack of air with the remaining red tears falling down from her face.
