Many of the books and brochures about foreign countries, traditions, animals and plants available in Farenia are connected to one name: Geertruud Smallbottom. There is not a single bookstore or library in Farenia, that doesn't have a book or two of hers, or one of the maps. And all of them usually show signs of heavy use. The travels of Geertruud Smallbottom: Starting her career as a magician, she soon got bored by all the theory and after some incidents, she quit her apprenticeship, packed her most important items into a leather bag and left Perelline for good with the next ship to Land's End on that same day. After exploring Shirki for some months, she contacted her friend Margo Weedlebeam in Perelline, to start a business for publishing books and maps.
Geertruud introduced the Words of Aziz to Farenia, which are now getting imported in large numbers for Queen's Day and other festivities.
When we were preparing to run, the old man grinned, played three tunes and then broke the flute in two and said:
"You have lost, you won't make it back while the melody is still playing." Next morning the old man left with evil laughter, transformed into a giant eight-headed dragon and flew away. -- G. Smallbottom, Never underestimate a dragon
General Physical Condition
Geertruud is well endowed, but not really aware of it, misjudging her attractiveness greatly. Her appearance attracts more than she can cope with.
Despite being outside and in the sun a lot, she has pretty pale skin with a permanent blush on her face, it is unclear though if it is a bodily feature or a sign of the permanent embarrassment she is in due to all the things happening to her.
Geertruud has a colourful body tattoo starting at the neck and going down to her ankles.
When excited, she gets an intense hiccup.
Geertruud has the innate skill to get into trouble or embarrassing situations. If there is a muddy puddle to fall in, she will be the first to do so. She has developed some expertise in plants and all things edible.
Apparel & Accessories
edited photo of a real dress by Tillerz
Geertruud is usually wearing knee-high brown leather boots, a knee-long red corset dress and a white blouse. Depending on the temperature, some things might come on or off.
edited photo of a real backpack by Tillerz
Courses "Magic 101" and "Summoning for the Lazy". Going only halfway through her education, she already got in trouble several times when trying a summon spell. A hint she would give you now: "Do not summon something that has more arms than you."
Geertruud is honorary chairwoman of the Perelline Society of Explorers and Finders of Ways, nominated by the Society in her absence for all her detailed map and region and culture descriptions. She is also a member of the Guild of Cartographers, Mapmakers and Scribes. Her only source of income is her publications.
Accomplishments & Achievements
Her published works contain:
A Comprehensive Guide to Butterflies
Apes of Calika - A Lustful Species
A Study of plants and herbs, and which ones you should avoid under any circumstances
Detailed mappe of Calika
Pigments of Faith - Religion in Calika
Never underestimate a dragon
Onehundredtwentyseven ways to make a decent tea without having actual tea
Starving To Death? Things You Thought Are Inedible
Running In Circles
The Underbelly of the Wild Lands (unpublished yet)
When North Is South - Finding Your Way Through A Desert
Failures & Embarrassments
If there is one thing she regrets, then it is not refusing a present given to her by a tribe, which made her the spiritual guide of the tribe. Soon enough she found out this honour also included a full-body tattoo from neck to ankles.
Charakur, we progressed deeper into Calika, which is alternately covered by sparse woods and dry steppes, with small villages sitting here and there, where water is available. When we arrived in a tiny settlement about six hours away from Charakur, excited people first pointed at us and then towards a bunch of big rocks, just a stone's throw away. An elderly man led us there to show us some crude carvings, apparently a gnome in different poses. The old man touched the carvings, then our face, comparing the measurements of both.Finally, he began to chant loudly, and everyone around us joined in. He handed us a gnarled staff and led us back to the settlement, inviting us to have a rest in one of their small huts.
When we woke up the next morning, he was waiting for us already, surrounded by a group of men holding several items. He made us sit on a big slab of stone splashed with colours and gesturing to free our back. Dear lord, the unexpected pain! Two of the men started poking us with needles, pushing colours into the skin. And it was not just a small image! The procedure lasted until sunset when finally everything from neck to the small of the back was covered in colour.
We tried to sneak away on day two, but they caught us, and it lasted five more days until the front of the body, the arms and the legs were also covered with images. After a full week, we managed to escape the horror, leaving behind the heaviest objects from our backpack and our pride. This was also the first time we had a hiccup for a whole week. -- G. Smallbottom, Pigements of the Gods
by unknown, heavy mod by Tillerz
She believes in what might be most useful in the current situation.
Geertruud is always referring to herself as "we" and "us". This gets especially annoying for others if it has to do with work. "We need to do this immediately!" Because in this case she is actually addressing those other people to do the work. Many of them don't mind, as long as Geertruud is standing around, waiting, and looking pretty.
Wealth & Financial state
Her parents started placing all the earnings from the books and maps in Geetruud's room, which looks like a treasure cave by now. If a large enough number of coins makes a heap of gold to become sentient, her room would be the first place where this happens.
Lost - There has been no message from Geertruud for three months, whereas she has sent pages and maps every month to her editor before. The last message from Geertruud to her editor arrived from the Wild Lands. Rumblings - Strange things are happening since a small wooden box from Geertruud arrived at her parents' house. The box says "Do not open under any circumstances!!!"
People watching her might title her Goddess of Mishap.
Geertruud is pretty open to almost everything, as long as it is fun.
flaming red, reaches down to the hips
pale with a permanent blush
Quotes & Catchphrases
"Found it! ... whoops, now it's gone again." "We've been here already, right? Twice, or more often?" "Ouch, this stings. A lot." "Ripped it once more!"
NOTE: work in progress - these article will contain verbal cites or excerpts from Geertruud's scripts