a little history
i was an early bloomer as far as fine control and strength of my horngrip and i could directly work the most basic elements of magic
but i have no sense of pitch so the singing spellcraft most ponies learn was inaccessible to me
that didn't really cause me any problems until i realized just how i needed to change and there was nobody with the magic to help me
if i needed it i'd have to create it myself or leave the everglow to find it
so i collected the diagrams that explained how to craft ploughshare's external plates and i spent two years struggling to construct an understanding of how the forged meta-matrix must work
which is a bit like trying to invent a steam train based on diagrams of a cargo cart
in the process i developed an approach to spellcraft that made no sense to every pony i shared it with
but it fits closely with so much of what these books assume as basic knowledge
my translation cuff can't manage some of the terminology but the books are written in such a clear and consistent way that it's easy to fill in the gaps and in fact i'm a little spooked by how easily i'm picking up the material
it's not quite like it was written for me but it makes sense in ways that my magic studies in the everglow never did
a few of the early diagrams are basically my own work with a couple swapped glyphs and given a quarter-turn
i'm not sure i have a point to any of this but it sure is a little strange
home feels right in most ways except that no pony thinks quite like i do and my personal growth seemed stunted
here feels wrong in most ways except that at least a couple folks think very much like i do and i'm growing in ways i hadn't even expected
i want to harmonize and bring my knowledge home but what if i'm stuck between these two worlds? or unstuck from both?
anyhow the books only cover the most basic theory of the meta-matrix and there's nothing at all about the core but it's enough to design a replacement limb or two
from there i just need to convince someone with knowledge of healing magic to assist with the messy details
so i can have fewer messy details overall
the heart and hammer is coming together nicely but between that and transcribing books and redesigning my legs i've been busy enough that some days i don't even go outside except for a morning run
medya has been amazing for keeping me honest about getting that run in bcause she knows it helps us start the day right
but seeing her fly alongside me is good motivation too
most non-winged ponies can't fly for a variety of reasons i probably don't need to list
but when we flightless types dream of flying it pretty much always feels less like wings on air and more like falling in whatever direction one's attention happens to be in
frequently without much control over one's speed
that's what my life is starting to feel like but if i'm going to fall in a direction then
forward it is