what works and what doesn't by Millimax | World Anvil

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Flamesday, 15 Blooming 998 Y.K.

what works and what doesn't

by Millimax

 i considered morran's situation a bit more then talked with him then did some more thinking and the anger passed quickly enough
 sure he's made some decisions in ways that baffle me and some of his behaviors are nerve-wracking but he's doing the best he can with circumstances somewhat worse than mine
 for one thing he's been in hiding because announcing his presence would invite several different parties to take actions not in his best interest
 
 lem and morran needed someplace to stay safe and hidden for at least until they could arrange something more long-term so zer' got to work psychically manifesting a temporary pocket-space that opens within the heart and hammer
 morran required a few things so we ran some errands
 spark and bell went to visit leali and ask if she could dig up morran's dissertation – his arcane healing schemata – out of the morgrave university library
 
 relic and i revisited that healer who needed our help with the epidemic of dust-related injury
 oh we certainly did staunch the flow of dust into the hands of the grown
 in fact dust might not exist anymore if lem can't work out how to synthesize the component cinnabar was supplying but we didn't share that detail
 anyhow she provided the book on house jorasco's healing spellcraft as promised so that's one more hurdle cleared out of the way
 
 i was extremely looking forward to studying it once we got back but while we were gone lem and morran worked up another list of supplies
 back when morran crafted his spells he didn't have to worry about the practicality of such a shopping list because he had free access to much of house cannith's resources
 nowhere is it easy or inexpensive to get actual salamander bile
 nowhere
 medya and i spent several hours struggling to fill that list
 
 after visiting every apothecary in the "everbright" district – and getting the "trying to pretend one isn't surprised by the sight of a unicorn and a gryphon" reaction from all but one – we managed to fill the list
 we were enjoying a quick meal on the way back when medya noticed we'd been followed
 they walked past us and dropped a note which read "you have friends; be careful"
 and with that so-simple-it's-baffling statement we decided to hurry home
 
 when we shared the note the others agreed that it was worrying but the h&h was well protected so that counts as careful
 when we described the messenger lem was reminded of a daask lieutenant named "takrin" but she's dead so probably not? unless reanimated?
 anyhow leali was there with morran's dissertation and she had to dig it out of a sealed archive so someone really wanted it not to be seen
 probably merrix 1 – morran's grandfather
 what a family
 
 it seemed like a good time to autopsy cinnabar's remains
 first i quietly apologized and thanked her because we obviously couldn't ask permission but she'd be helping us learn a lot
 leali and lem took notes while morran shared his knowledge and bell and i set to it
 she was at most twenty years old and morran was unfamiliar with some of the methods in her metamatrix but he said it looked like his grandfather's custom work
 
 brief digression here since morran explained
 d'cannith merrix 1 is widely credited for creating the "warforged"
 what he actually did was take an existing schema he couldn't fully understand and fill in the gaps with awkward work-arounds
 where'd he get that schema? he reverse-cast it from his son aaren's work on what he called a "forgeborn"
 morran knew this forgeborn from his youth but couldn't bring himself to talk about that
 more mysteries
 
 i could ramble about cinnabar's shell and metamatrix for days but i'll skip to the most important part
 zer' identified her core as being made of "mabaran obsidian"
 "mabar" is the plane of night and the blacker-than-black crystal sure gave that impression
 it was clearly the source of the "raw" cinnabar referred to in her journals and her core's casing still had some of the same purple glow
 it felt like she was designed to operate entirely on spite
 
 given her journals and what we learned in cinnabar's autopsy i think dust makes sense now
 she wanted the stuff to be a gift of comfort to her fellow forged in the same way glitterreed is to ponies
 but she may have wanted that primarily to spite the grown who would be attracted to the stuff and then become addicted to a painful poison
 i'm glad whatever possessed her to do that is gone
 i wish her life hadn't been defined by cruelty
 
 bell said it best when she said "i feel like i'm putting together a jigsaw puzzle and i just found a fifth corner piece”
 the manuals we found in eston were helpful but for anything to do with the core directly they reference "the whitehearth manuals"
 "whitehearth" was the cannith family workshop in some other part of what is now the mournland
 i wonder how many more puzzle pieces we'll find there
 
 anyhow a good night's rest brings me to this morning
 apparently transom came by to ask if the h&h was hiring and the answer was yes so now we have an administrative assistant who's learning the basics of forged renewal under bell
 meanwhile i sat with morran to study the arm he made for himself
 the good part? it's the very model of precision and functionality
 the bad part? that's all it is
 
 it's like he went down the checklist of every motion he needed it to be capable of but never put a single thought toward aesthetics or expression
 he went on about how there was nothing wrong with his design and then in the same breath he'd complain about how it wouldn't do what he wanted
 he said "the mana bleed is just feedback from the failing emotional response" as though that were just a symptom and not the root cause
 
 he dismissed my current forelegs as not even being a worthy proof of concept
 i told him i knew that but i made them to ease my internal disquiet before i left the everglow precisely so i wouldn't rush and make the same kind of mistake he had
 he said his work was absolutely perfect and dared me to explain what was missing
 i said "you don't love that arm like part of you and from the look of it you don't even love yourself and that's what's missing"
 
 i must have hit a nerve because that's when he got up and stormed out of the h&h
 spark and relic chased after him to make sure he wouldn't be wandering around alone
 and that brings us to now
 i've been working with bell on ideas to help him make the necessary leap of self-acceptance but right now i'm frustrated because he's the one blocking his own progress
 so brilliant but so bucking stubborn

Continue reading...

  1. look how organized i am also i got knifed today
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  2. can't get their face out of my mind
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  3. the days are way longer in khorvaire
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  4. good medicine
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  5. writing this down so i can get some sleep
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  6. good morning
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  7. this motley group
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  8. errand day one
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  9. sleep and the self-made pony
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  10. errand day two
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  11. gryphon appreciation day
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  12. wait what now
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  13. that campus map
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  14. they love to overdo everything here
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  15. qualms
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  16. message in a dream
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  17. and points north
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  18. breland blue
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  19. a modest prophecy
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  20. stabbed in the neck by a sunbeam
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  21. gifts for all
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  22. zone of twilight
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  23. everything and lots of it
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  24. counting from zero
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  25. returns and investments
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  26. found in translation
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  27. going with the flow
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  28. rescue arrangers
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  29. calm but collected
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  30. twisting passages
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  31. he did it wrong
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  32. what works and what doesn't
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  33. cazha bloodwing only knows one game
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  34. . . .
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  35. gravity
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  36. mistaken
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  37. today's the day
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  38. it worked it worked it worked!
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  39. so i chatted with another goddess
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  40. i'm sitting as fast as i can
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  41. strange day so far
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  42. startling eve
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  43. i hope there's coffee because i sure could do with some
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  44. hard work's reward is more work
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  45. those who can't do ... steal
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  46. d'cannith jorlanna throws lousy parties
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  47. motivations redoubled
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  48. i learned this from bipeds
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  49. into the arcane congress
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  50. oh and there's a killer on the loose
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  51. up all night to get published
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  52. the thanks i get
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  53. order of operations
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  54. technically not the worst day of my life
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  55. fighting our fears
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  56. i don't like surprises
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  57. unsettled
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  58. more unsettled
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  59. happy gryphon's day
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  60. burning issues
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  62. awkward in aundair
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  63. lab results
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  64. hard fighting's reward is more fighting
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  65. forbidden tome
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  66. heart of flame
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  68. long distance
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  71. outside influence
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  80. inside influence
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  84. digging for rocks
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  85. well defended
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  86. misrepresentation
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  93. noise
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  94. always use protection
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    Griffinsday, 13 Reaping 999 Y.K.
  96. control
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  97. composure regained
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  98. pressure and heat
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  103. land of the dead
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  104. getting on well with the locals
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  105. just passing through
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  107. gathering
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  108. flavors of karrnath
    Crownsday, 23 Leaffall 999 Y.K.
  109. surprises
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  110. creatures and comforts
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  111. moving pieces
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  114. bite the sky
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  115. class roster
    Crownsday, 11 Sowing 999 Y.K.
  116. our visit to fort deepdark
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  117. purple waves of grain
    Flamesday, 15 Sowing 999 Y.K
  118. rest
    Crownsday, 17 Sowing 999 Y.K.
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    Thronesday, 18 Sowing 999 Y.K.
  120. d'cannith zorlan makes lousy decisions
    Thronesday, 18 Sowing 999 Y.K.
  121. cold comfort
    Bearsday, 22 Sowing 999 Y.K.
  122. reaching out
    Crownsday, 23 Sowing 999 Y.K.
  123. larger than we appear
    Flamesday, 27 Sowing 999 Y.K.
  124. user serviceable
    Flamesday, 27 Sowing 999 Y.K.
  125. completion's sake
    Bearsday, 28 Sowing 999 Y.K.
  126. flavors of zilargo
    Thronesday, 30 Sowing 999 Y.K.
  127. so glad he doesn't snore
    Griffinsday, 1 Marking 999 Y.K.
  128. closing the distance
    Crownsday, 5 Marking 999 Y.K.
  129. butting heads
    Flamesday, 9 Marking 999 Y.K.
  130. the goats loved it
    Flamesday, 9 Marking 999 Y.K.
  131. marks
    Wolfsday, 14 Marking 999 Y.K.
  132. safety in numbers
    Bearsday, 16 Marking 999 Y.K.
  133. seen
    Crownsday, 17 Marking 999 Y.K.
  134. gut wrenching
    Crownsday, 17 Marking 999 Y.K.
  135. it's still grey
    Griffinsday, 25 Marking 999 Y.K.
  136. warped
    Flamesday, 27 Marking 999 Y.K.
  137. exposed
    Thronesday, 30 Marking 999 Y.K.
  138. company town
    Thronesday, 30 Marking 999 Y.K.
  139. grace notes
    Griffinsday, 1 Snowfall 999 Y.K.
  140. disconnected
    Wolfsday, 2 Snowfall 999 Y.K.
  141. why won't this place just let us do our thing and leave
    Flamesday, 3 Snowfall 999 Y.K.
  142. adding lightness
    Crownsday, 5 Snowfall 999 Y.K.
  143. terms and conditions
    Flamesday, 21 Snowfall 999 Y.K.
  144. something unexpected
    Thronesday, 24 Snowfall 999 Y.K.
  145. four legs good
    Thronesday, 30 Snowfall 999 Y.K.
  146. ander reed knows how to have a good time
    Highnight, 999 Y.K.
  147. dreams coming true
    Bearsday, 4 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  148. dreams uncaught
    Crownsday, 5 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  149. scattered light
    Crownsday, 6 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  150. travel plans
    Griffinsday, 7 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  151. this motley crew
    Flamesday, 9 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  152. sea feast
    Griffinsday, 13 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  153. wrecked
    Bearsday, 16 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  154. digging deeper
    Griffinsday, 19 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  155. family legacy
    Flamesday, 21 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  156. too thick to fail
    Bearsday, 22 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  157. loud and clear
    Bearsday, 22 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  158. paint what you know
    Griffinsday, 25 Frosting 999 Y.K.
  159. she really left her hoofprints all over
    Crownsday, 29 Frosting 999 Y.K.

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