Nobody knows I'm a detective.

by Jedi Knight VN Ysadora

"You're an archaeologist," Reese says to Dr. Zack Stavin, "you're in the business of finding things."

I'm sitting three seats away at the breakfast table. Davish is next to me. We have actual detective licenses. And a detective business.

This is a delight to me. I'm not going to contribute any thoughts on how to do a lost property search, or a family heirloom trace, or any of that. Unless directly asked.

Instead I'm spending this midmorning repast in writing more cards for the flimsi stacks.

Chancellor Kanter has had too much trouble from the warlords around here. She needs someone to talk reason with them. In particular, go deal with Erenn Baize.

All the warlords are a little different, some of them are whackadoodle. Baize wants to be a Vor.

If he was on the Freedworlds' side, that would help a lot, first with getting cooperation from some of the other warlords around here.

He didn't just knock out a ship and take the cargo ... Baize stole a whole tanker! The whole thing!

In light of the attacks, I as Chancellor would like to speak to him as one leader to another to hear what he might be willing to say in light of a mutually beneficial agreement that would benefit both our peoples, in light of the arrival of the Ambassador from Tapani.

And I might want his help to work with the Tapani.
— What Nalerine Kanter wants us to offer to Erenn wanna-be-Vor Baize

Here at the Vorbaize Estate are some ruins, and another obelisk.

And apparently "Dr. Stavin" is the delight of Vorbaize's week.

I can't. I really can't. I cannot sit here listening as Vance and Dr. Stavin lure Baize into a "Grand Campaign" to take over all the warlords on Chalcedon, to "help the little lady", to have so much soap opera bluster filling his sails as he tries to steer the negotiations with General Kerplocken toward making a civil war out of the Chancellor's needs.

I'm going to have to play the affronted petty knight.

I'm going to have to make a show of asking Master Pieces whether "Vorbaize" appears on the Landsraad.

I'm going to have to use my full title.

Crom, I hope no recording of this survives.... I'll never hear the end of it!

It gets even worse if a description of this scene gets back to the Beskar, given the context that Jenkins handed me a few nights ago. Some of the lads think I'm halfway crashed already. If they pick up gossip that I did the "stuffy caste-conscious snot" routine, they may not take that as Bad Cop to the rest of the party's Good Cop, trying to maneuver Baize into ~~ {magic sparkles} Proving Himself Nobly {/end magic sparkles} ~~ in front of his loyal followers.

I don't care what the Baize Gang (or whatever they call themselves) think of me. They can have a dour opinion forever, that's peachy.

I care what the veterans of the 257th and of Clan Venn think of me. I value their myriad points of view.

Yeah, some of them barely think of me at all.

Some of them actively dislike me for specific reasons, or on spec.

Lots of them find me entertaining or pleasant company when I'm in proximity, but only think of me otherwise when they face an obstacle the nature of whose solution confuses them; there's a Chaplain-shaped plug in their mental toolbox that they access when they need a smidgen of advice, and then they go about their own way. I have worked diligently to make this be the case. If I'm not the designated "Chaplain" for this role in their lives, someone else always will be.

Some of them have affection for me in return for the affection I have always had for all of them.

All of these veterans are great guys, gals, and others. They average toward intelligent and even-keeled. They are astoundingly healthy for former child soldiers, very little of which has anything to do with me personally.

If they are seeing in me reasons to be concerned -- to observe with caution -- I believe them.

I cannot agree that the solution is to change the foundation of who I am away from what Almon D'Joy knows to be true of me. I think Jenkins has got his helmet polarization mistuned on that one.

But if I wind up degrading the trust that they have previously given me, even just by hearing that Vanya got all formal/prissy/petty in the middle of a peace negotiation ...

... well, I am not sure that I can ever make it up to them.

And I really do need to take a hard look at myself. The past two standard months have been a steady callback to that rough period based out of New Dendarii. Do I have more of a problem when I'm isolated than I thought? Do I use my social network as more of an ethical and emotional crutch than I was raised to expect of myself? Is the Evil Fuzzy Eyebrow Technique of manipulating me into consistent inadequacy successful, and to top it off I've been fooling myself?

This stinks.

Which does not make it any less my own responsibility to manage.

Maybe I can get some time to work on it after I disrupt the momentum on this "We'll take over the other warlord clans and then the planet and then the system and then the GALAXY! in the name of Vor Noblesse Oblige!" thing that is so very, very, exceedingly Vorkosigan-esque.

Continue reading...

Memorable meals

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Ysalamiri
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Intermezzo 3.07.8.5
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the Ghost of Future Vegetable Peeling
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Nobody knows I'm a detective.
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Braiding is a skill.
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Aboard the Loaner Shuttle _Shenanigans_
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Thin Darkness
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Perspective Adjustments
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Spider Pez
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Intersections
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Unauthorized scan detected
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one of WHOSE children?
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Threes
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The old Chaos Goblin routine
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SSD Hardridge Bulwark
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First Rule of parrying incoming vehicular blasts: DO NOT
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Zorphax
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Ghostie al Saba
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Escape Velocity
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chuck the faux Gamesman to the crowd
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Here to Rescue Somebody
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Pest Control
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No matter where you go
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There you are.
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Library Card
Satunda, 13 Melona, 12731

Nobody knows I'm a detective.

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