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Datunda, 29 Nelona, 12731

Reese the Battlefield Sportscaster

by Jedi Knight VN Ysadora

Reese on Allcall: (starts Sportscaster routine with the headliner being GENERAL VANCE KERPLOCKEN)

Vanya: ... Oh man, you have no idea how much this works for me.
— maybe not in the GOOD sense though, since it's a reminder of the Gamesman's arena

I need to liberate one of these speeder bikes, I think. There's one coming at me. I bet Davish knows how to steer it!

I need to remember to get that lightsaber back before the sandstorm hits.

I need to get vacuumed before some of those glassed-up sand fragments bury themselves in one of my old scars.

Vance has an interesting idea about the monocycles being basically coins rolling on an edge. Maybe Davish and I can pop these two under the feet of the walker?

Man, I'm so tired. Physically. I need about three liters of consumable water and a half-shift of sleep.

I still have to finish being Bad Cop at Mr. Vorbaize.

Remind me: we need to mechanically disable the weapons on this AT-ST, and unplug its engine's power sources including backup battery, when we park it.

And I need to go grab my missing 'saber before I do any self care.

Like shaking the grime out of my hair.

I think we might need this big net thingy to prevent the storm from doing something unacceptable to the obelisk.

Circumstantial evidence suggests that Erenn Baize's paternal progenitor might have been Ges Vorrutyer. Bitty Erenn and his mother were exiled by the Bene Gesserit on grounds of his being "impure".

Is this exile a point of religious excommunication, or a point of fact in law? What would a clerk from the Order of Solicitors say?

If it's an excommunication, we have plenty of other religions in the Tapani Sector now. Tolerated by Our Imperial Lord and Master, blah blah.

If it's a legal exile, he needs a lawyer.

Yeah, Erenn Baize can't be officially legally Vor here. Not even under a functional policy that "Vor is a state of behavioural ethics, not a religious award."

We can solve the travel-across-borders problem if it's religious. That's easy.

We get a pastor from the Church, right? and we get, I dunno, a couple of powdered doughnuts. Not the jelly-filled ones though. Maybe I'm short on electrolytes.

Anyway. Couple of doughnuts, a sincere profession of compassion for one's fellow corporeal beings, smudge his forehead with the powdered sugar, have a snack.

Next week, meet the Ambassador and ask her if she has an opinion under her Countess hat. Religious problem solved.

If it's a legal thing, though....

I'd have to talk to a legal expert. Vir Cotto, maybe. Or that other government person from Tapani who's supposedly showing up here in a few days.

He can't be a Vor specifically while taking over all the other warlords in this new government.

He can act Vorlike all he wants, but he can't be Vorsomething while taking over several armed bodies.

He can be very Vorish and play politics and make mutual alliances, that's fine. But a "Vor" is a member of the ruling castes of a specific government.

Which is not THIS government.

And if he's "Vor" and has power around here, he's in violation of Vorloupolos' Law. Even though that's not a law here.

It's a mess.

Let's go "borrow" a copy of that genetic database from the Bene Gesserit!
— Davish has a simple solution that will definitely work!

Let me know when you get back from that "borrowing" trip. I'll be interested to hear how it turned out.
— Reese is not wowed by Davish's idea

Hon?

Did you just say "let's go steal the official record of the Landsraad from a Bee Gee temple"?

...

Okay.

Are we doing this tomorrow?

Not tomorrow, we have a lot to do first.
— Davish acknowledges a necessary delay

So'Zen suggests that we could probably get that genetic databank from the Sisters of Battle, instead.

Hey, there's a point!

I wonder who's the head of the protective detail on the Consort?

I think they're in a different city on this planet.

Probably not Nevermore.

Okay, maybe it is Nevermore, the distance is about right.

Vance and Reese can give Lord Baize good ways out of the diplomatic mess of walking into a negotiation for alliance while being a walking Vorloupolos violation.

Right after I do my Big Wet Blanket Routine about why being Vor outside of Tapani is a diplomatic thermal det.

I think that leaves So'Zen and Captain Kolene and Spook to gently enlighten the visitors who aren't us.

And get intel out of 'em.

Love ya, mean it, Force be with you.

and if you love ME, please keep the noise down
— Vanya, muffled by table on which her forehead rests, to Aerena Kolene and So'Zen al Saba

While they get some of that in gear, and while we wait on Lord Baize to finish up checking on his people, Davish is right here and I trust all the people immediately around me. I am going to put my head down on this hear table immediately in front of the chair I occupy. I'm pulling my hood over my head and face to block out light and soften sound.

I really need a fifteen minute nap.

Davish will wake me up if I am about to miss any "fun".

Continue reading...

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Pumpkin Dinner
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Four against One? Okiedokie.
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Ysalamiri
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Intermezzo 3.07.8.5
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More and More and More Every Day
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Jawas in Spaaaaaace
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Ides of Nelona Client Progress Report
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the Ghost of Future Vegetable Peeling
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Aggressive Negotiations Fremen Style
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Nobody knows I'm a detective.
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Reese the Battlefield Sportscaster
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post-hurricane
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Braiding is a skill.
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Aboard the Loaner Shuttle _Shenanigans_
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The droid did WHAT?
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Chausid Station
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We Do Not Touch the Creepy Artifact
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Thin Darkness
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Perspective Adjustments
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Spider Pez
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Intersections
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Unauthorized scan detected
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The Anti-Life Equation
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one of WHOSE children?
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Space Shanties
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Threes
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The old Chaos Goblin routine
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SSD Hardridge Bulwark
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First Rule of parrying incoming vehicular blasts: DO NOT
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Zorphax
Datunda, 29 Helona, 12731

Ghostie al Saba
Datunda, 29 Helona, 12731

Okay, but why did you leave it in a vault?
Datunda, 29 Helona, 12731

Escape Velocity
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chuck the faux Gamesman to the crowd
Datunda, 4 Melona, 12731

Here to Rescue Somebody
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Natunda, 10 Melona, 12731

Pest Control
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No matter where you go
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There you are.
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Library Card
Satunda, 13 Melona, 12731

Reese the Battlefield Sportscaster

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