Memorable meals by VN | World Anvil
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Mon 18th Mar 2019 04:16

Memorable meals

by Jedi Knight VN Ysadora

Best meal I ever had? That would be tough to pick out, actually.


 

I can tell you about the worst one, though. I was, let me see ... I was about twenty-five standard years old, working as a dba for an orbital station construction crew. We were subcontracting for some expansion and retrofit work on Corvalis, a peg-in-a-ring looking space station out in the Nezri System. The construction crew were decent sorts, but not inclined to let "the office flunky" into their after hours hijinx, which I guess I can't really blame them for. I mean, I processed their paychecks and filed their materials requests.


 

Anyway, most of my meals on that job were some kind of pasta in some kind of seasoned broth with some kind of barely-identifiable but brightly colored chunks of vacuum-frozen bits. You work with a lot of bulk purchases on that sort of job site. I was trying to save up money as fast as I could, in order to fund the last stage of my private investigator apprenticeship and qualify for a license; so I ate the cheap rations for as long as I could stand them, and then I would take my once-per-twenty-days trip to the regional office as a chance to eat a nicer meal.


 

It was usually pub food.


 

Which means it was only a matter of time before I got something truly not designed for humanoid consumption.


 

So this one trip, I stopped in the nearest open place while I waited for the regional office to swap out data crystals. I'd eaten there before. I ordered something with "nerf" in the title, figured as long as it was cooked through, I should be okay, right?


 

I should have gone down a couple levels to Flangth-to-Go. Really.


 

The dish came to me the first time and it was still half frozen. I sent it back, politely but a little exasperated.


Next time it was in front of me, everything was black. I poked it a little bit and flames shot out. The bartender hit it with the extinguisher before I could discover any more.


 

I heard a lot of yelling in the kitchen before I was finally presented with a plate of ... sort of warning-tape-yellow ... oval lumps on top of these orange flat slabs. I guess that might have been sauce on top of a piece of meat? Only its surface tension was so strong that I could not pierce it with a fork.


 

I wound up eating about half of an orange flat slab thing. I can tell you a few things: it was decidedly not nerf-anything. It probably was vat-grown, and that vat needed serious repairs. And the seasoning was, as far as I could tell, grated peas dyed with food coloring, because it had nearly no taste at all.

Continue reading...

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