Chg/central human gov't. "where we at and how we at here?" Human jazziness Timeline
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Human jazziness

Specifically tackling stuff humans have gotten up to/been gottent to.

  • 2025 CurlyWurly

    12 /11 9:00

    First Notice
    Discovery, Scientific

    It's finally confirmed that there is intelligent life closer to the center of the galaxy down the Orion Arm as an undeniable space ship is sighted by scientists. However, the speed of light means that the ship's movements, as they are sighted, were made hundreds of thousands of years ago.

    Location
    Earth
    More reading
    Sad story bro.
  • 2028 CurlyWurly

    14 /10 07:00
    2028 CurlyWurly

    14 /10 14:00

    A Surprise Attack By The Goners
    Military action

    Goner Admiral: "Everyone, my plan is so simple an idiot could come up with it: we shoot straight into their lower atmosphere at high speed without checking for space debris or anything like that so that they won't have time to see us and we can take them by surprise!"

    Everyone in the room who has the power to so much as object under the Goner Empire's stupidly oppressive and hierarchical system, being the admiral: *agrees*

    Location
    Earth
    More reading
    The entirety of the Human-Goner
  • 2030 CurlyWurly

    3 /1 02:00
    2030 CurlyWurly

    3 /1 02:00

    Africa Does the Windows Shutdown Noise bc Goners Own It
    Military action

    The Goner scum took all of it... except the islands... but oh good lord so many deaths and poor people under the oppressive hand of the xeno scum.

    Location
    Earth
    More reading
    The entirety of the Human-Goner
  • 2030 CurlyWurly

    4 /11 07:00
    2030 CurlyWurly

    6 /11 04:00

    The War Sparks Up Again
    Military action

    The war spadunks back into motion and both sides have had time to gather their forces.

    Location
    Earth
    More reading
    The entirety of the Human-Goner
  • 2030 CurlyWurly

    20 /12 23:00
    2034 CurlyWurly

    22 /5 13:00

    F in the chat for most of Europe and the Middle East
    Military action

    Goners (3-4 foot tall lizard/velociraptor people) spadunk their way through every part of Europe that isn't Ireland, the UK, Denmark, Scandinavia or Sicily. All of the Middle East is lizard property as they're suited to the desert environment and their climbing abilities make them good at urban combat. There are tonnes of guerrilla forces in both and the majority of the militaries of the nations conquered add themselves to those of surrounding nations like the UK, the Scandinavian Union (Denmark + Finland + Sweden + Norway + Iceland + Greenland: AKA the ultimate Viking squad), India and so on.

  • 2035 CurlyWurly

    1 /1 13:00
    2043 CurlyWurly

    3 /5 14:00

    General Aramis has some fun
    Military action

    Goners: *pants* okay bois I get that we're a bit tuckered out but we're winning!

    General Aramis: Hello. *Giorno Piano Theme plays*

    Goners: RRRRUUUUUNNNNN!!!

    Location
    Earth
    More reading
    The entirety of the Human-Goner
  • 2058 CurlyWurly

    4 /3 06:00
    2058 CurlyWurly

    3 /7 02:00

    The 2nd Invasion Arrives and Is Angry AF
    Military action

    After a 4-month journey, a new force of Goners shows up to succeed where their brethren failed. Unlike those before them, however, they're actual trained soldiers with modern military gear. Now if only they weren't up against opponents who've had 15 years of prep time and knew they were coming.

    Location
    Earth
    More reading
    The entirety of the Human-Goner
  • 2060 CurlyWurly

    2 /4 01:00

    BOOM
    Military action

    F in the chat for the Goner Mars base and the badass gorl that rekked it.

    Location
    Mars 1
    More reading
    The entirety of the Human-Goner
  • 2067 CurlyWurly

    4 /9 02:00

    The 2nd Goner Invasion Gets Rekked
    Military action

    The Goners are defeated!

    Location
    Earth
    More reading
    The entirety of the Human-Goner
  • 2069 CurlyWurly

    20 /4 13:00

    Peace?
    Diplomatic action

    The Goners make a "15 year peace deal" with humanity.

    Location
    Earth
    More reading
    The entirety of the Human-Goner
  • 2069 CurlyWurly

    2 /10 01:00
    2084 CurlyWurly

    2 /3 01:00

    The Rise of the 6 Nations
    Political event

    The nations that shall run everything are clear and only grow in power.

    Location
    Earth
    More reading
    The entirety of the Human-Goner
  • 2073 CurlyWurly

    6 /2 02:00

    The First Moon-City Opens
    Scientific achievement
    Location
    Mars 1
    More reading
    Mars 1
  • 2074 CurlyWurly

    7 /7 14:00

    Hey, Ireland. You're America now.
    Political event
    Location
    Earth
    More reading
    United States
  • 2084 CurlyWurly

    4 /4 04:00

    Peace 2, electric boogaloo.
    Diplomatic action

    The Goners make another "15 year peace deal" that the humans have no intention of keeping to.

  • 2090 CurlyWurly

    4 /8 04:00
    2105 CurlyWurly

    3 /9 01:00

    The Human Offensive
    Military action

    Humanity, just 6 years after signing a 15-year peace deal, goes on the offensive against the Goners (3-4 foot tall lizard/velociraptor people) .

  • 2107 CurlyWurly

    5 /3 02:00

    The 6 Nations Agreement
    Political event

    The 6 Nations come together and decide to divide up the territory they've gained equally at the same time as forming a Human Confederation (which would fight itself in later years).

    Location
    Mars 1
    More reading
    Indian Republics
  • 2203 CurlyWurly

    8 /12 03:00
    2225 CurlyWurly

    2 /3 06:00

    The Unification War
    Military action

    (Almost) All of humanity is united under a single banner.

  • 2342 CurlyWurly

    23 /4 08:00
    2347 CurlyWurly

    13 /9 9:00

    The CHG Takes Over
    Military action
    Location
    Earth
    More reading
    The CHG-UHN War
  • 2381 CurlyWurly


    Jeff Awakens
    Scientific achievement

    After decades of building and coding, Jeff the insanely intelligent AI is finally finished and started up.

    More reading
    Le Automatic Empire
  • 2494 CurlyWurly

    13 /2 11:00

    Jeff does a boogaloo
    Military action