The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly part 2 Report in Legends of Elohey | World Anvil

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly part 2

General Summary

Grolm 13, 578
pitch-dark noon!


The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly Opening Credits
Generic article | May 8, 2021
On a rolling plain of blackened grass
Under an ashen sky
and the

came face to face at last.

Methurgh the Cloven Prince headlines that last category. His body is a pampered two-year-old bull now. He still has the coat pattern or brand or what-have-you around his upper head that looks like a crown. Four mornings ago, members of the SNAFU Posse watched a months-old calf with that exact same marking trot along at the back of the Herd. Now he towers on his hind hooves, the neon green glow of his eyes a match for his broad horns and the crown brand of his dominance.
He commands his underlings to "Kill them".
In each cluster of minions, one or two hold their position long enough to dispose of a prisoner. All other fiend-infested underlings race toward a viable target:
  • One Hell Woolly from the flock is finding Emory "Ranger" Horn to be an effortful kill. Blacksmiths are tougher than farmers, at least against the first few blows.
  • Hell Hand Duo Short Lou Pitts and Big Lou Hebert, formerly of Cottonwood Fog Ranch, keep an eye on the struggle between blacksmith and Hell Woolly. They do not step in. Not yet.
  • Two fast-reacting Hell Woolies charge at Ministry servant Jesse Devonshire.
  • Up north, Hell Hand Bowser Kotabe tries to maintain his influence on the Girl in the Flowery Poncho and Princess Alfredo-Alston despite his partner Leather Cobb continuing outside the range of a proper Hell Hand Serenade. Bozidar and Kamen have never had a strong friendship; they were paired together by default when first contracted as ranch hands at Whippetal Ranch. They got their jobs done without drama. They don't always think along similar lines, though, which is why Kamen "Leather" Cobb responded to the King's command by riding straight for Miro Teague where Bozidar "Bowser" Kotabe decided the "them" did not apply to the landowners their King plans to fuel a ritual later on.
  • Surrounding Bowser and the two women, some Hell Bovines impatiently await the return of their lightning-scarred herdmates. Two join Bowser in circling around the prisoners. But three trot across the wrinkled grassland toward the shriveling stormcloud, the luminescent hay bales, the multi-colored circle that currently contains a druid's hat.
  • The Twins from Cottonwood Fog Ranch, Harp and Rye Hess, are out of the fight for now. Rye is no longer a Hell Hand. Harp is no longer conscious. The fiend ripped out of Rye has been ripped out of Rowtag as well, chained down by a banshee, and beaten into the dirt by divinely-enhanced blunt force trauma.
  • Justice and Mystery Mullins, until recently employed by Larchblossom Ranch but previously employed right here on Sarsparilla before the Alfredo Family bought it up, buy themselves a minute or two of disobedience by debating what translation the Ranch Hand Code requires of the King's commandment. It won't armor them against the next instruction because nothing ever does! But for now they can wield this loophole as they would wield their lassos in a trick roping stunt known as the "Flat Loop Lift". The "foreign scholar" Lee Chung gave them the opening right as Justice was about to attack the Hesters and Mystery squared up to fight Bruthazmus.
  • Further south and one hill east, a Hell Woolly intended to slaughter the bound elven teenager in the back of a cart while the woolly lassie's three cart-riding companions jumped off to race northward. Zhang Sephia split her attention between diverting the Lapir-drawn cart and harassing the nightmare sheep. Miss Sephia's idea of "harassing" centers on arrows fired from above, with lightning coiled around their shafts.
  • Faylene Tarntaise and Enecone Vannucci hurry south as best as their damaged persons can manage in the dark. They may not realize how soon their paths will intersect with two of the Hell Woolies being harassed from above.
  • Giusi Medici, tossed out of the entangled area by Mystery Mullins near the start of this conflict, was last seen running toward the center of Whippetal Ranch.
I've got an idea! We could--
— and then the video chat locked up, or the GM's entire computer had a BSOD, or whatever technology mishap



0 seconds have passed:

Those Hell Woolies close enough to a target each go on a Powerful Charge. Numbers 8 and 6 barely miss Liberata Pasquarella who ran into the door of the Bunkhouse. Possessed ash-dusted sheep 2 and 13, who don't have enough distance between themselves and their respective targets to get a running start, make use of their Shepherd's Crooks to smash at the victims with all of a sheep's rage.
Hell Woolies 11, 12, and 14 are in need of a ranged weapon. How do you charge at an enemy aloft? Sheep have considered birds of prey to be enemies for a thousand generations. Harpies are no different! Fourteen and Eleven still feel the pull of a command to swarm the Barn area. They could help Twelve, or they could leave Twelve to figure her own problems out.
The druid called on his compatriot the monk for support!
As an Attack of Opportunity, Lee Chung left his spot defending Bruthazmus (and confounding two Hell Hands) to circle around into Jesse's defense. The wise monk chugged a Barkskin Potion, gaining +3 to AC for the next 50 minutes, while he raced into position. Then he attempted "sheep tip" maneuver on "Baa 001" and "Baa 009" in defense of Jesse Devonshire, rolling a 22 and a 27 respectively. These both succeed!

1 second

A banshee gonna do what a banshee's got to do.
The banshee's form was partially visible due to the light of the icy chains which bound a fiend to the earth. Where the light touched, it sank into her edges for an inch, perhaps two, before it faded into the darkness.
But something snaps her attention far to the west in the darkness.
For a split instant, the banshee vibrates in place. Stay? Try to slap the fiend out of a hellbeast? Or go?
The banshee races into the darkness. Her eldritch, hungry keen follows her across the rolling grass.
She is next visible near the end of the round as she passes south of the smoldering pit where a bonfire recently burned.
Miro Teague spends all six seconds of this round Will Working the Fog of Twilight Spell together with the Frost Fall Spell. Since Leather Cobb will be well within the range of the spell even from the distance he is at now, the plan is to create a 10' radius Blizzard around Cobb and his horse. This will extinguish all light sources and dispel magical light sources within the area as if it were a "Dispel Magic". Leather Cobb and his horse will each take 2d6 points of damage (no save) and will have to make Fortitude saves to not be staggered for one round lest they become fatigued.
Miro's Will-Worked spell will last for 3 rounds. Each round they are in the blizzard, they will take 1d6 points of damage -- a fortitude save will halve the damage.
Anyone coming into the area of effect will suffer the same as the above mentioned.
Miro thinks that should hopefully keep the cowboy too busy to sing and such for the time being. Let's watch and see!
Miro's Player
PC note: My Will save was a 28 (with a natural 20) to Will Work the two spells together.
And it's for sure a good thing that Miro is taking this step, because while he's still Will-Working, Leather Cobb the Hell Hand obeys the order of the King! From his position in the saddle of the approaching horse, Leather snaps out with his Thorn Lasso as if to smack a coyote away from a calf. Miro does not get entangled, but does take 10 points of damage in a slice along his forearm.
Miro's concentration is resolute. His spellcasting was not disrupted. Hope Leather took some satisfaction in that one strike -- Miro Teague does not intend to allow him a second!
Bowser Kotabe cannot maintain the Hell Hand Serenade all on his lonesome. He lets the song end but makes no sudden move. He watches the two women to see if they will remain captivated and docile.
Further south, Mystery Mullins and her Justice continue their lyrical call-and-response discussion of the Ranch Hand Code. They would close their eyes if the fiends inside them permitted it. They would turn to one another, if the fiends inside them permitted it.
This moment of hesitation is all they can wrassle loose for themselves.
Big Lou Hebert and Short Lou Pitts jerk straight in their saddles. Hell Hand or ranch hand, they ain't gonna put up with no foreign scavenger a-jumpin' their property! Acting by reflex, they nudge their horses to the northwest corner of their patrol route so the Wicked Shots next round will have no chance of splashing on their partner or their herd.
Jesse Devonshire rolls five feet away from the tripped Hell Woolies, figuring they can't make an attack of opportunity from the ground. The split instant that he is outside horn-smacking range, Jesse casts a Plant Growth spraying out toward the ranch house in a 200-foot radius quarter circle to catch most of the Woolies and some Bovines. He adds some twiddle to keep the Fog Cloud clear of any growth so Miro can run around in the fog, plus a 4-foot wide straight clear shot directly from Jesse to the Ranch House / Barn.
map check
GM note:
The "Jesse's Plant Growth" checkmark should be active on the map!
"Hey, Lee Chung, Bruthazmus, if y'all are heading to the house, the prince calf is about half-way there on the right. Slap him around for me!"
— Jesse Devonshire
Meanwhile, Wrong Way does not know where his Bestest Buddy is, but he has a clue. Last time they were separated like this, Wrong Way was east of Jesse. Right? So he should head west for now! Buzzing loudly!

2 seconds have passed:

Zhang Sephia and Xifeng fly over to the cart. While Sephia shoots a lightning arrow at Baa013, Xifeng will attempt to loosen/peck apart the boy's bonds. Xifeng makes good progress -- there should be enough rending to this rope for the adolescent to wriggle free in another two or three rounds.
The lightning flashes around Thirteen's upper left shoulder might even help Xifeng's decisions on where to next bite!
The Hesters are charging back the way they came to try to locate their Princess.
Princess Alfredo-Alston has been captivated. She does not get an action this round.
Same is true for the Girl in the Flowery Poncho: No action this round.
Rye Hess is laying low within the fading remnants of Bruthazmus' Entangle spell.
Ranger Horn is losing the fight for his life.
The elven teenager, bound in the back of the cart, gets no action this round. If they did, it would probably be to try to fall out of the cart. They're badly hurt already due to that crushing downward blow from Thirteen's Shepherd's Crook.
(Also, up close Xifeng is terrifying!)

3 seconds have passed:

Bruthazmus whips out both tonfas. He performs two tonfa attacks against one of the two Hell Woolies that tripped, aiming particularly for the joints to keep it on the ground.
Having heard the passing wail of the Banshee headed west, Bruthazmus decides that lone Hell Woolies at the far edge of Bruthazmus's vision is about to cease being "suspicious".
Immediately after delivering his second tonfa blow to a kneecap area, he take off running for the barn to see if there's something to deal with there / draw some heat off Miro.
A moment ago, Bruthazmus would have headed for the door on the southwest face. Those double doors are closed, but he doubts a latch will hold up against one strong shoulder.
A riot of healthy green has just now sprung up in this area, forming a barrier somewhere between "a thicket" and "a jungle" for any ground-bound travel. Only that narrow channel to the northeast doorway is clear!
Conquest can, in this case, start small: trample a hat, sacrifice a sorcerer, move on to bigger and juicier.
To do that, Methurgh needs to continue moving around the outside of the loop made by the luminescent haystacks until he has a direct line to charge at the little
-- hey! where did this fog come from!
map check
GM note:
The "Jesse's Fog Cloud" checkmark should be active on the map!
and all these WEEDS??!
Methurgh is furious and a smidgen confused.
Can't reach the druid's hat from here with Fun!
Can't sacrifice the sorcerer from here with Games!
Can't Gore with Horns on any target more valuable than a haystack!
Already did his Baleful Moo!
He's going to hear such a sneer from a Princess if he does not figure this out quickly!
Methurgh uses Games to slice free all scrub brush, cacti, and associated nonsense immediately around him.
Wonder if it will burn quickly?

4 seconds have passed:

Assorted Hell Bovines mostly continue moving into position at a slightly more cautious speed than the Hell Woolies exhibit.
Our Prince wants these alive (for now!) and those dead (right away!). What's a girl to do?
The general guideline:
Trample with Improved Bull Rush if she can, work with Herd to set up Flanking Bonus as often as possible, Power Attack with halberd/poleaxe if within melee range.
The two trios marked as 01, 02, 03, and 06, 07, 08 all continue to circle around two humans: Princess and the Girl in the Flowery Poncho. Just before sunrise, our Prince was quite specific as to his wishes in this regard.
Ten is tangled in the sudden Plant Growth. So is Five, who had been speeding up to Bull Rush that wee sorcerous bastard. Nine just barely managed to jink aside as the plants were growing. All three set about themselves with their halberds.

5 seconds have passed:

Across the ash-blackened grassy hills that lie toward the western horizon:
Assorted trapped souls on the western half of Sarsparilla Ranch have their own problems at the moment. Ranger Horn tries to breathe in suddenly sub-freezing air while the large animal above him suddenly withers and dessicates before his eyes. Liberata Pasquarella considers turning back to flee the bunkhouse, taking her chances under the hooves of the hell sheep. The distraught sacrifice-to-be in the shadows between the two southwest windows of the bunkhouse has just noticed that the Mysterious Book has been shoved under the sacrificial cage ... and the Mysterious Book flipped itself open.
Lee Chung unleashes a Flurry of Attacks on one of the tripped Hell Woolies, injuring all four of its legs badly enough that it certainly will not get up again.
He then takes Jesse's good advice. Is he heading for the same barn door as Bruthazmus or is he going up near the haystack ring to help Miro Teague fight the Cloven Prince?
Does he pause at the voice that suddenly arises from the fast-growing grassland?

6 seconds have passed!

Next round begins!
  map adjustment
GM note:
Please activate the "Miro's Blizzard" checkmark on the map!

As everyone determines their Initiatives for Round 6:

Jesse Devonshire knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that no matter how close to decay he may have been dragged, Nature has not left him in isolation.
Ugly Risen
Generic article | Mar 27, 2021



Sarsparilla Barn, the attached Bunkhouse, the ruins of the former ranch house, and immediately surrounding environs.


The spot near the northeastern barn door where the physical form of the Cloven Prince melted, that is a spot where nothing will ever grow -- not even worms, not even flies. The dirt from that spot will never be good for any life, neither!


Some other areas continue to show signs of fast plant decay. It will take many years for the residue of a druidic plant growth region followed by an infernal Greater Curse will work out of the soil. It will take almost as long for that persistent slime on the northwest face of the Bunkhouse roof to completely dry up and vanish, too!

The Bows of Purgatory Gulch
Lee Chung
-Level Monk 6
Jesse Devonshire
6-Level Druid
Zhang Sephia
6-Level Ranger
Bruthazmus Kele
Nodin Bugbear
6-Level Ranger
Miro Teague
7-Level Sorcerer
Player Journals
20210327 Arguably-Evil Plant Army to the Rescue! by Jesse Devonshire
Between a Bad Cow and a Rough Sheep by Bruthazmus Kele
Report Date
27 Mar 2021
Primary Location
Secondary Location

Cover image: by CB Ash


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