Session 5

Well, it looks like death is catching up to Catalina now too. I knew she was up to causing it to some living and intelligent being. After her and Nasrin went out hunting to commit murder, Nasrin comes back dragging an unconscious Catalina and a murdered deer corpse. Then even after murdering the animal Nasrin decides to mutilate the body and everyone but me feast on it’s body. I then just pray to any god that watches over animals to please know I am sorry for your creations loss and to please intervene as soon as possible so that I am not having to be on a trail of death trade.
 
That night while Shirin is on watch some human come up and surprises Shirin in camp and puts a knife to her throat. She calls out for everyone to come and talk. Zahra gets up and sees the man and then calls out to give her a minute “She is not decent.” I doubt she actually sleeps in indecent clothes so likely was looking to get a weapon and start a fight. I just right outside my tent and wait to hear what the man has to say. Nasrin then tries to be a thief and attempt to stalk out of her tent only making too much noise and having her companion quickly appear to her nervous over something.
As the man speaks Zahra shows that she has little compassion to be calm and non-aggressive by berating Shirin for letting herself get surprised. I doubt Shirin planned on getting surprised by some bandit in the dark. But at least she did not draw a weapon and start violence when none is needed. The man then calls out to some woman to come and talk to us in a language only Zahra knows. Zahra offers the bandit leaders hospitality and they make a deal to trade killing the Lordsman of Finley’s Stop for taking her to Yondali. So, claiming a death for a death. The excuse given is that they are members of some 5th Legion of the Empire. When she starts to explain the deal in language I understand I make it clear my view of this plan. I will not murder this man. I then head back in my tent and close and tie the flaps then offer prayers again to protect me from the infections of the sins of these people. Zahra then tries to explain the reasons for how this deal is appropriate and right course of action, but she fails to make a well enough argument on how murder or plotting to help in murder is not a sin.
 
Zahra is completely dismissive of Amir and makes it clear she finds him and his role in this adventure completely useless and beneath her. She sarcastically tells him to collect firewood for the camp, if that is not against his beliefs. Amir then gladly walks out of camp with Sagir. They collect a good amount of dry wood but do not return for a bit. Instead it seems better to try and limit time around a person who is o.k. with beratement of slaves and students. So, after like an hour of collecting wood, Amir and Sagir just play games of tag and hide and go seek. Then I spend the rest of the day wishing I had a book or dreaming back to time I was not surrounded by violent people who view murder as something one does in their normal life.
I do not allow my tent to be in their site after that deal is made and instead opt to sit in a tree, so I can see what all they are doing. I offer to keep watch and no one is willing to keep a second or third watch so I stay up there, and so does Sagir to keep me company. Only, late into the night I fall asleep long after first watch would be over. I awake to the sound of Sagir falling. Zahra is moving around camp, not certain what she is up to, planning, or if maybe she is trying to quietly ask the gods to forgive her willingness to commit or abide in murder. She rushes under Sagir and he falls on her. She offers a gift of healing magic to be given to me to heal Sagir’s bruises and pains from the fall. After Zahra rolls her eyes at me not knowing how symbol magic works, she casts the spell without touching me. I try not to flinch as I expect the spell to be a ruse. In trade I take a deep breath, close my, ignore the pain and twist in my stomach then agree to teleport the lordsman out of his house as a returned gift to her. Then I get a bedroll and sleep.
 
That morning I just exercise refusing to discuss or talk to anyone. I go and get firewood and return my breakfast to the forest floor twice over the deal. Instead of coming in afterwards I tell them I will walk up and down the road some and they have time to pack their gear, but I refuse to stay in a place where deals of death are made. It only leads to pain and misfortune. Zahra tries to explain why this is a bad idea compared to hers. Again, her explanations are more condemnations of others deciding to act against her wishes. I have decided to ignore her malicious language and words. I have learned enough of her at this point. I have done my job for the bureaucrat that assigned this task. I know how these people think and hope they learn when we must clear the woods and forest next. If not, maybe they will focus on martial focus or military means where violence is rewarded and not try and build the culture of the community as much.
 
I decide the best way to show the errors of their ways might be to now teach through small examples of kindness. To treat others who wronged you with comfort instead of violence and hate. So, they can carry the bloodlusting Catalina who still has not woken from her catatonic illness state, something I could have informed Zahra about if she bothered to ask me instead of Nasrin, I turn her tent into a stretcher. Do I get a thank you or anything, no. Just a look like at least he knows how to do something useful from Zahra. I lead them back up the road to the message stone to stop for the night.
 
Nasrin sees some fire thing appear from the southeast. She calls out everyone to come to view. It seems like it is not a fire spirit as she called but more just 3 goblins being goblins. They start to light a tree on fire, and Zahra calls out to them in some language I don’t speak while walking towards them holding her crossbow out and pointed at one. She says something again and then fires a shot. So, resorting to violence once again over words or attempting to figure out a trade.
 
Why does this bureaucrat hire so many violent people to work for her? Does she wish for more pain and suffering to happen? I mean if a person speaks the language and can communicate then they need to do that over fighting. There must be more profit long term for having communication over violence. Weapons should be things used for military or hunters who know how to give rites to the kill. I thought Zahra was supposed to be a merchant so would be about profit not death.
 
Again, I learned what these people are about. I will do what I can to balance out their need for violence and pain when we have to take over a town and grow it. I hope by then maybe their need to kill will be lessened, but I doubt it. I always remember what Javid taught. One needs learn to use a weapon to better the body and magic to better the mind. If a person is one with the weapon or the spell, then it means they are likely to be violent. If a person is violent then that is their response always and it breads more loss and so more violence comes. If you learn to use a weapon or magic to better the body and mind, then it is a symbol to improve the body to be ready to defend or the mind to evade to another solution. You only use them when attacked and to defend never to be offensive. A well improved body gets people to notice you and listen when you speak and a well-trained mind means what you have to say is worth hearing. Maybe there is hope for others that work for this city but I fear Zahra, Catalina, and Nasrin are lost to always be violent over other means.