Mercutio, the Orphan Maker

Realm

The Slayground

Related Myths

• The Story They Will Not Tell

Related Historical Events

• 856
  Apocalypse: The Story They Will Not Tell

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Interview Excerpts: When was the last time you cried?

RESPONSES

Masons

"Ahmm; not something I keep records of."
-- Subvizier Aloysius Mason.

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Dargent-Laureats

"No business of yours! I haven’t. I don’t. Very long ago."
-- Vizier Victor Dargent-Laureat.
"Oh. Um, recently. Just after I said goodbye to my parents."
-- Viziera Satine Dargent-Laureat.

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Ironsides

"Only in the heat of battle, and only then from joy! Ask the ghouls!"
-- Vizier Balthazar Ironside.
"Uh. W… Woundsday. A Woundsday. Last Woundsday."
-- Subvizier Agamemnon Ironside.
"When I first managed to make a spiritual connection to my ki, I think I cried for over an hour. Usually I work through my emotions by meditating or exercising instead."
-- Katib Menelaus Ironside.
"You’d need to ask my mum that one; no-one else’ll know."
-- Katiba Britomart Stargazer-Ironside.

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Stargazers

"‘Bout thirty years ago, unless you count the day I lost my eye."
-- Vizier Leopold Stargazer.
"Afraid I can’t recall."
-- Viziera Andromeda Stargazer.
"I think that was during a heart-to-heart with my brother on his wedding anniversary. He’s an embarrassment, but he made good more or less. My eyes may have watered for other reasons more recently, but I’m not sure that quite counts."
-- Subvizier Pollux Stargazer.
"You’d need to ask my mum that one; no-one else’ll know."
-- Subviziera Britomart Stargazer-Ironside.
"I will confess it has been difficult to cry since an unfortunate experience in my teenage years prompted rather too much of it."
-- Katib Castor Stargazer.
"A few days ago. My job is stressful and my mother-in-law is mean."
-- Katiba Cassiopeia Stargazer-Greenskin.

"Impossible."
-- Bartleby.

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Dargents

"1278, Copperday Tinkermoon, after my father broke my arm."
-- Vizier Richard Dargent.
"A great many years ago, for a handful of tears that no-one would see."
-- Viziera Guinevera Dargent.
"No business of yours! I haven’t. I don’t. Very long ago."
-- Subvizier Victor Dargent-Laureat.
"Oh. Um, recently. Just after I said goodbye to my parents."
-- Subviziera Satine Dargent-Laureat.
"When I was sixteen. I don't really want to talk about it."
-- Katib Hugo Dargent.
"Last night. It’s ok. Somebody just broke a thing I was working on, but I got over it now."
-- Katiba Scarlett Dargent.

"I was five. I was told off for drinking absinthe. Now I’m invited to drink absinthe by nobles who don’t know I can understand them."
-- Lindie Asklepa.
"I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a crybunny. It was a few days ago, which is actually maybe a personal record. I was being chased by spiders."
-- Connie Furr.
"I don’t."
-- Voltaire.

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Carterholds

"You’re not one of the five people who get to know that."
-- Katiba Rouge Carterhold.

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Bakerstreets

"Early hours of Scrapday Thiefmoon, 1291. No, there’s no-one to corroborate."
-- Vizier Cobbler Bakerstreet.
"...[silence]..."
-- Subviziera Diana Bakerstreet-Underhand.
"When I was like a baby, cos I’m not a pussayyy"
-- Katib Cody Bakerstreet.
"Six months ago I lost a fight real badly and got left in a gutter with a bunch of broken bones. That guy’s dead now. He fell off a wall. I didn’t even need to push him."
-- Katiba Wiggin Bakerstreet.

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Underhands

"...[silence]..."
-- Katiba Diana Bakerstreet-Underhand.

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Baharats

"Most moons I will shed a tear or two, but I find it less troublesome to avoid dwelling on such times."
-- Ex-Subvizier James Baharat.

"Four hours ago. I saw a fawn. It was so small."
-- Beautiful Baharat Guard.
"Every other night since they told me James died."
-- Martini.

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Brasseyes

"Earlier tonight,^{*{Goldday, Tailormoon, 1313}} but before that it was six years ago."
-- Katiba Grimoire Brasseyes.

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Darktusks

"The fuck you saying?"
-- Mirze Rifi Darktusk.

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Greenskins

"Only once since the Widowrage, when my daughter was fifteen, and I feared for her."
-- Vizier Kronk Greenskin.
"A few days ago. My job is stressful and my mother-in-law is mean."
-- Subvizier Cassiopeia Stargazer-Greenskin.

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Jackalslicers

"Some months ago, on an occasion where our guards were exchanging stories. Our guard captain is a close family friend."
-- Viziera Atkin Jackalslicer.
"About a month ago, but nobody saw that."
-- Katib Fennec Jackalslicer.

"Stupid question. Bath time."
-- Stubby.

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Shajaras

"Oh, it’s quite a regular occurrence. All sensations are made to be felt, are they not?"
-- Vizier Hali Shajara.
"I do it for thirty or forty minutes every Eclipseday, for therapeutic reasons."
-- Viziera Cassilda Shajara.

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Brambleites

"While in captivity within the dark bowels of the Barker knave’s wretched vivarium, I wept in recognition that I may never see my lady charge again, and have failed in my duty, and betrayed a promise to my liege. And yet, the entangled briars of our sundry destinies displayed other plans!"
-- Bugsby Cottontail.
"I'm not ashamed to admit I'm a crybunny. It was a few days ago, which is actually maybe a personal record. I was being chased by spiders."
-- Connie Furr.
"Most moons I will shed a tear or two, but I find it less troublesome to avoid dwelling on such times."
-- James Baharat.
"Every other night since they told me James died."
-- Martini.
"Same incident in both forms, actually. Just over five years ago."
-- Vulpix.
"I’m not sure. Maybe a few months ago. At… um, what-her-name’s promotion in the Brambleknights. That was a nice day."
-- Warren Furr.
"A few years ago. As Furr matriarch it was my responsibility to make a hard decision. It was the right one, but I can’t say I enjoyed it."
-- Winnie Furr.

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Patchwork Empire

"Oh, I went crying to the Emissary more than once before he became not worth the maintenance. He clearly had a thing for it. Liked to play the protector. Made him even easier to convince."
-- Pairaka.

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Undergazette

"Takesday Sailormoon, 1312. Missing kid turned up dead. It happens, but I’d really thought we had that one."
-- Krona Tailfeather.
"I was five. I was told off for drinking absinthe. Now I’m invited to drink absinthe by nobles who don’t know I can understand them."
-- Lindie Asklepa.
"I miss Drew, man. I’ve not been keeping track."
-- Tito.

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Yvette & her Handmaidens

"Last night, but I shan’t tell you what or how loud."
-- Yvette, the Courtesan.
"My mother was a harsh woman who didn’t see eye to eye with my desires. I cried when I left her, the last time we fought, and made sure never to have reason to again."
-- Yvette Vixois.
"Oh, I went crying to the Emissary more than once before he became not worth the maintenance. He clearly had a thing for it. Liked to play the protector. Made him even easier to convince."
-- Pairaka.