But Not. by August | World Anvil

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Thu 3rd Nov 2022 05:46

But Not.

by August

Love.
 
What even is that?
 
How do you… Define it?
 
Is it the feeling of watching someone beautiful walk down the street at a picturesque moment? Of a wink; a flirt; a night gone? Surely not… That sounds like lust, more like. Definitely, actually. An overwhelming feeling, certainly.
 
But not love.
 
So what is it then? Is it the connection shared when you’re sitting in silence, just happy that the people around you in this moment are happy and healthy? Is it being content with the sounds of a flickering lantern and laughter and music in a small home? The moments of cooking and baking together, the smells of fresh pastries filling the house?
 

 
Is it the feeling of breaking apart? Is it the sound of glass shattering when it all comes crashing down? The taste of your own tears wiped from your face?
 
Maybe it’s the feeling of no longer seeing the world like everyone else does. Of looking at a beautiful landscape and feeling sadness, or hearing an upbeat musical festival take place and feeling a pit in your stomach.
 
Of dreaming of what you once had. Of screaming to the sky that it’s not fair.
 

 
When you live as many "lives" as I can, the volume of feelings you get to experience becomes immeasurable. That’s a part of it; that’s one of the defining characteristics of what I do. An accent is unique to an individual, born of where they lived and how they’ve experienced life. Getting the best facial expressions are the same - you need to experience a person’s full emotional capabilities to paint their expressions across your face. That is how I do it; I feel every emotion you feel, and I experience everything you do alongside you. Is it distracting? Always. Call it empathy if you want, but it's a constant.
 
It’s every emotion. Every feeling.
 
But not love.