YoCP Episode 11: Not Who I am

It's five o'clock and I'm sitting in a café, sipping a milkshake, when he steps in. The first time I really let myself see him. It has been so many years, there is so little left to recognize from, but it still touches something in me - something nostalgic. He notices me and comes to my table. Should I stand? Should we hug? Where do I even stand with him - this stranger. My brother.

"Hi," I start with an uncertain smile, and instinctively I'm already standing up again. He jumps in with a tight hug, while I stand there - overwhelmed... uncertain.

"I am so happy I found you, Lena," he starts: "You don't understand how many places I-"

"No!" I interrupt sternly, pulling away. "That is not my name anymore. You don't get to call me that. Nobody does."

"Oh, uhh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean... I guess I don't... understand," he says, startled by my reaction.

"God, I'm sorry. I just... It's not you..." God, where do I even start? "That name is for an innocent little girl left on the streets. That's not who I am anymore - and not who I want to be."
Alea Felix Hug by Doodles Most Foul (me)


Cover image: by Hassel

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