Taskforce Monday Containment Specialist

Oh, everyone says they hate Mondays, but it's only now we're taking the fight to it.  
— Containment Specialist Rachael "Ravager" Rawr
  One of the most loathed days, the idea of Mondays have been classified as a Grade-Omega Infohazard by The Computer. There's always been something sort of dreadful about them, but the idea of just how bad they are have turned into a virus all - an infohazard. It has cost corporations billions in lost productivity, moody employees, and additional Java consumption. To combat this (and presumably because even corporate execs don't like Mondays any more than anyone else), Taskforce Monday was formed.   Monday Containment Specialist are experts at battling memetic infohazard, each drawn from many different corporations to battle the profit-draining ideas that Monday is just horrible and nothing can get done on them. With the Taskforce, it is hoped that Monday's days are numbered.    

Secure, Contain, Profit

 
Great, just when I thought this bloody Monday couldn't get any worse.  
— Subject E5-24601, upon containment
  Containment Specialists, true to their name, contain the spread of memetic hazards. When containment isn't possible (such as with Mondays), they instead try to mitigate the damage or limit memetic mutations. It's done through a combination of information management, anti-memetic propaganda, and "removal", which is a fancy word of saying murder. When a person, or group of people, are too deeply infected by the infohazard, the only profitable choice is their elimination.  

Their work is split between the real world and the digital one, particularly social media and news sites. In the latter case, they are usually trying to counteract the spread of Monday feelings by removing blog and social media posts about how Mondays suck, use motivational posters, or remove particularly "infectious" posts.
Not that people really get the weekend off as much.
Their tools are admin and moderator controls, limited AI, data-trawling, manipulating EULAs and straight-up hacking both personal computers and corporate-run sites. With their megacorporate-sponsored mandate to stop the loss of profits incurred by the Monday Infohazard, very few places are off-limits to the Taskforce Monday.
 
On occasion, an area or group can become so infected by the Monday Infohazard that the Taskforce resort to what they call 'Heat Therapy' - i.e., flamethrowers.
  As a secondary concern, the Taskforce also catalogs and performs research on Infohazards. Most of the theoretical work is done out of the infamous Ever-Monday Research Facility, and focus on ways of limiting the impact of those damn Mondays and perhaps even find some sort of cure.    

The A-Team of Memes

 
That's a horrible title - have the Mod-Bots erase it.  
— Containment Specialist Rachael "Ravager" Rawr
  Battling ideas takes a special kind of person, with an ability to think not just outside the box but outside whatever's outside the box. Optimism (either natural or artificially enforced) is a requirement for the job, both for dealing with the effects of the memetic hazards and their impact on people, but to not fall prey to the idea of how bad Mondays are in itself.  

Other qualifications include but are not limited to:
  • Anti-Memetic Warface License
  • Corporate or Military Background
  • Small Arms License
  • An iron-will to deal with Twitter/Youtube comments
  • Thick skin
  • Low sense of morality

  Even so, the Taskforce Monday is given considerable freedom in determining who it hires and as long as they get results, no one really bothers them about it. They're often depicted as a bunch of mavericks in the many movies made about various anti-memetic fighting forces, and it's an image their corporate overlords have cultivated.
Infohazards   Ideas can act much like a virus, infected everyone who interacts with carriers. Infohazards are ideas deemed destructive - either to individuals, property, or to the status quo in the Megacorpolis.   Mondays are one of the oldest infohazard still around, with an estimated infection rate of about 98.6% of humanity (and several domesticated animals).
 

Past Attempts To Murder Monday

The Taskforce is just the last in a line of attempts to circumvent the terror of Mondays, and some even continue beyond the Taskforce, as every Corp has its own ideas on how to do things.   Some notables are:  

Corpday

A short-lived addition to the calendar, Corpdays was wedged between Sundays and Mondays with the idea that it'd take some of the weight off of Mondays. And no, workers didn't get the day off.   It failed pretty quickly. It was never really widely adopted, and showed signs of immediate and severe infohazard contamination, forcing the Corp behind it to excise the Corpday like a bad toenail.          

No-Day

Another attempt of information manipulation, Mondays were for a time removed entirely from the calenders. As you might expect, this lead to pretty considerable confusion.   Exactly what went wrong has been classified, but conspiracy theory holds that the rest of the week was beginning to become infected by the Monday Infohazard. And we only need one Monday in the week, thank you very much.    

Monday Merch!

Just because it sucks doesn't mean the Corps won't try to benefit. It's become a sort of tug-of-war between the corporations that support the Taskforce and the ones selling "Mondays Suck!" type of mugs and other merch to play on the fact.   On the other side of that argument, there's been movies and videogames about the Taskforce, and of different Infohazard containment types. Of course, these are always punched up to make them more exciting and, at the same sanitizes away the parts the Corps don't really want to advertise.
"Being a real character" isn't strictly speaking a requirement, but if you want to get anywhere in the Taskforce, you better be.
 

Comments

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11 Jul, 2020 15:11

Q, plz stop outdoing yourself. Everyone else, plz do not consume food or drink while reading, your phone/computer/tablet will thank you (and your respiratory tracts as well, probably).

12 Jul, 2020 07:53

Ahaha, I'm really, really flattered :D   I am really glad you liked the read, thank you for taking the time to read and comment <3

11 Jul, 2020 15:58

Hahahahaha!   I agree! Before reading this... there should be a EULA! Wait ... would there be a EULA for Taskforce Monday?   Q, this one is great. I laughed all the way through this. It was a great way to get my day rolling!

— Wolfe of the Tales of Justice, Creator behind the Legends of Elohey, Star Wars: Shards, Fiven Chronicles and more!
12 Jul, 2020 07:53

Terms and conditions may apply! And some of those are delievered via flamethrower   I'm happy you enjoyed it :D Thank you so much for reading and commenting!

Journeyman Sloqush
Sloqush the Sloqush
11 Jul, 2020 16:39

Another absolute blast of an article Q :D   The only way that it could be better would have been if you had released it on a Monday...but then it probably would have been subjected to some "Heat Therapy", so it might be for best that you didn't ^^

Explore Sloqush's bleakdark sandox: Cenorad
11 Jul, 2020 17:00

In hind-sight, I really should've thought about that and released it on a monday. :D But alas   Thank you so much for reading and commenting <3

11 Jul, 2020 17:01

As always, you're so inventive and have such a good take on the prompts. Also, I'm always super-jealous that you ALWAYS get to format/style your articles so that they're just as attractive as they are funny. #goals

12 Jul, 2020 07:55

Anyone can format them like this! You can do it too - just experiment, see what works, and knock 'em dead. You got this. :)   Thank you so much <3 I do enjoy sort of subverting the prompts, haha

12 Jul, 2020 11:43

My problem is that I've barely been finding the time to work on writing the prompts! Laying them out and editing is like another job! (That I love, but life with kids means your time is limited.)

11 Jul, 2020 17:37

You are hitting it out of the park these need to be a book, I would buy it!

12 Jul, 2020 07:54

Stay tuned, that's probably going to happen at some point. Probably.   Thank you so much <3

12 Jul, 2020 09:19

Let me know and I will buy it!

Grandmaster Rynn19
Wendy Vlemings (Rynn19)
12 Jul, 2020 10:10

This is so hilarious! And who doesn't recognize the "monday sucks" feeling. I feel like Megacorpolis is getting better and better with each article you add. I should have waited until tomorrow before I read it. :D

13 Jul, 2020 06:58

I should have thought about that, I really should have... But it is now Monday and I am indeed dreading it. So success?   Thank you so much for reading and commenting <3 :D

12 Jul, 2020 23:55

This was phenomenal. I laughed so hard. One thing: If they exist to combat Mondays as a memetic hazard, should they really have Monday in their name? I guess Task Force Pre-Tuesday doesn't really pop as much.

13 Jul, 2020 06:35

You might be onto one of the dark conspiracies about the Task Force... Dun dun dunnnnn! :D And popping is very important, of course - the corps still need to market them and sell merch.   Thank you so much for reading and commenting <3

Grandmaster Serukis
Dr Emily Vair-Turnbull
13 Jul, 2020 08:01

"Heat Therapy" XD   Another great article, Q :D

Emy x
13 Jul, 2020 13:24

Gotta heat that Monday right out of there (with napalm)   Thank you very much <3 And thank you for reading and commenting :D

Grandmaster CoffeeQuills
CoffeeQuills the Coffee Quaffer
14 Jul, 2020 06:45

I need that top cover photo - besides the humor in the article, the pictures you have complement perfectly (that flamethrower & plague mask!) *claps*

14 Jul, 2020 09:08

Ahaha, thank you very much <3 :D And thanks for reading and commenting