Java, the brew of the world!

I could, and will, kill for a cup of Java...  
— Employee #38208-1A
Java is a coffee-like drink and powerful stimulant that comes laced with a cocktail of nootropics and enough caffeine to set the most stagnant heart aflutter. It is the most popular brew in Megacorpolis, consumed every day by millions of chronically sleep-deprived employees to stay awake and alert. It probably doesn't contain any experimental or rejected combat drugs.  

GimmeJava.gif

by Johny Mnemonic (with slight alterations)

Everyone drinks Java - except for those insufferable Contrarians who'd very much and at length like you to know that they do not.
Java has the same color and smell as coffee but with a sweeter taste that help consumers enjoy their delicious and refreshing cup of Java. The drink is ubiquitous, found everywhere in the Megacity from its highest corporate quarter to the poorest sector-slum. Many corps even provide it free to their employees as a means of keeping up production and a nice, even level of manic energy. Even momentary shortages have triggered panic and riots in the past, or the consumption of questionable alternatives.   Many employees need a cup just to get out of bed, which is just how Big Java likes it.  

Javamania

With a taste this great, who wouldn't want more?  
— Java Inc. PR
Java has it all: great taste, refreshes the mind, and a high chance to cause a crippling addiction. Everyone loves Java, but Javamania can turn such corporate-pleasing enthusiasm for the drink into a degenerating illness that hurts productivity first and the health of the addicted second. Even before the mutations start, Javamania leads to debilitating headaches, fatigue, and a hair-trigger when they go too long without a fresh, delicious cup of Java.  
Give-me-COFFEE.jpg
by HealthMarkets
Once in its throes, a Javamaniac will do anything it takes to get that cup of Java, and god helps anyone who gets in their way. Addicts often roam from Javamat to Javamat to gorge themselves on as much Javas as their bodies can hold, and frequently past that point.   Citizens are recommended to hand over their Java if accosted by a Javamaniac, but most take a 'from my cold, dead hands' attitude to that suggestion.
Some Javamaniacs have been known to consume the drink at such a rate that they drown in it.
Despite all this, fatalities remain infrequent, as a consumer with debts to pay find that medical attention can be both prompt and proper.
anderson-barbosa-XgH4sjl1Ozo-unsplash.jpg
by Anderson Barbosa (Unsplash)

The Original

Since its inception, hundreds of different brands of Java of varying quality have emerged to compete for market share. The original inventor, the Java Inc Megacorporation, still dominate space with a combination of brand recognition and brutal murder.   Though initially a military-tech corporation specializing in combat drugs and chemical warfare, it was their foray into the consumer market that elevated them to megacorpdom.  
Java Inc
Organization | Jan 5, 2020
 
BHC_The-Doctor.jpg
by Biohazard Coffee
 

Javamats

Found at almost every corner of the megacity, Javamats are automated booths that dispense the brew at affordable rates. Citizens flock there to buy their Java, with every corp having its own style and selection of drinks.   Some are on occasion earmarked to mix their product with other drugs or pharmaceuticals as a cost-effective way of testing, but it's probably safe.  
Javamat
Item | Jun 5, 2021

Automated vending machines that dispense Java.

Javabominations
Some consumers really enjoy their Java and some few come out of throes of Javamania with a singular thought: that was great!   When a consumer has devoured enough Java and gone through so many Javamania episodes, they become a Javabomination. These creature-things have been changed by the brew into addled, strung-out versions of themselves with surprising strength and speed. They are dangerous, more creature than consumer, who will go to any length to get more Java.
   

Popular Brands

Not all brands of Java are created equal. Corporations have tweaked their formulas (or marketing campaigns) to stake their claim on the Java market. Some are more popular than others, with feuds between consumers about which is the best often leading to bloody riots and snarky youtube videos in equal measures.  

Dhe-licious Java

A more expensive type of Java, served cold. Frequently found in the hands of people with some wealth and a desire to flaunt it.  

27-Bean Brew

A sugary sweet Java that does in fact not contain any beans, coffee or otherwise. Gives off light in the dark, supposedly by design.  

Anz-mazing Java

A particularly cheap brand that still claims it doesn't harm the consumer. Its taste is described as "nail-polish remover"-y.  

Cato's Cardiac Arrest Java

What it says on the tin. You read the EULA, you know what you're getting yourself into. Delicious but deadly.  

nathan-dumlao-pnmRtTHWqDM-unsplash.jpg

by Nathan Dumlao (Unsplash)

 

Cup of the Covenant

Marketing will often claim drinking it is delightful enough to be a religious experience - and you'll probably get to meet god if you have more than two cups in a day.  

Fungemy's Mushroom Java

An experimental new design that has been gaining popularity for its particularly aggressive addiction fabulous taste and environmental benefits.  

Storm Charged Brill-iance

Ads blare that it is 'rocket fuel for the brain', but it works for actual rockets, too.  

Melu's Mellow Bean Dream Java

Absolutely, positively not made from the ground-up remains of failed Best Friends Forge genetic experiments. Makes you a rebel, according to their marketing, which they say is cool so buy it.


Cover image: by Death Wish Coffee

Comments

Author's Notes

Like what you see? Why not leave a like and a comment to let me know! :D


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Eternal Deity Ademal
Ademal Jacklyn
23 Feb, 2019 20:47

I love this exploration of the world. The change and exaggeration of something real-world into an aspect of your world provides a basis of comparison that really demonstrates the difference between that world and this one. Well done as well as being a funny article!

explore-ethnis.png

Admin of the WA Codex & Discord

Ethnis | Ko-Fi | Twitter

1 Mar, 2019 22:42

Thanks :D   I am trying something new in this world, too: shorter articles!

Eternal Deity Ademal
Ademal Jacklyn
2 Mar, 2019 04:41

I saw that! I like it! How's that treating you?

explore-ethnis.png

Admin of the WA Codex & Discord

Ethnis | Ko-Fi | Twitter

2 Mar, 2019 07:39

Well, the results we'll see what the readers say :D   But pretty good!

Eternal Deity Ademal
Ademal Jacklyn
2 Mar, 2019 20:25

Don't forget to put that new gif up as well!

explore-ethnis.png

Admin of the WA Codex & Discord

Ethnis | Ko-Fi | Twitter

28 Apr, 2021 12:53

I need this to be real. Coffee is not enough anymore (?)

Am I writing or procrastinating? Take a guess and visit Hanzelot
9 May, 2021 07:32

For the world of tomorrow and its 96 hour work week, something stronger is needed :D

29 May, 2021 20:13

Only 96 hours a week? That leaves, like, 72 whole hours unused. Smh...

Ynar wishes you a nice day!   Feel free to visit my world, Ikaharin
30 May, 2021 13:17

Ynar! We should fix that, right?

Am I writing or procrastinating? Take a guess and visit Hanzelot
30 May, 2021 21:15

Always... Such lack of productivity makes me sick

Ynar wishes you a nice day!   Feel free to visit my world, Ikaharin
5 Jun, 2021 10:49

The managers have been informed and scheduled will be adjusted to make up for this oversight

17 May, 2021 11:26

Great Java!   No, really... its great java! :D   This is really one of my favorites. Energizing! Invigorating! Really gets the imagination going! Also this is such a great foundation to the world!   Hm... I think I need another cup of Java...

— The wolf of Tales of Justice, Creator of Legends of Elohey, Star Wars: Shards, Fiven Chronicles and more!
17 May, 2021 12:24

It was one of the first articles of Megacorpolis actually :D ANd really did helped set the tone for what it would become   It also shows... And it's due for a big edit pass. Stay tuned!   And thanks for reading and commenting <3

17 May, 2021 12:58

So what you're telling me is... we're about to get some FRESH ?! Yes! I'm all in! :D

— The wolf of Tales of Justice, Creator of Legends of Elohey, Star Wars: Shards, Fiven Chronicles and more!
22 May, 2021 10:58

This almost makes me want to try coffee. Almost.   I always love reading Megacorpolis articles because they fill me with both joy and just the right amount of terror.   Love the WA references in the brands! XD

Eternal Sage AmélieIS
Amélie I. S. Debruyne
22 May, 2021 11:15

Ah! I didn't even notice the puns! Luckily I always read other people comments... XD

Feel free to check my ship challenge article.
25 May, 2021 15:19

Joy and terror, that might be a great tagline to use, thank you :D <3

Eternal Sage AmélieIS
Amélie I. S. Debruyne
22 May, 2021 11:12

Really, who wouldn't want to drink nail polish remover...   Love the snarky tone and super safe to drink java :D

Feel free to check my ship challenge article.
22 May, 2021 11:21

Yes, maybe you'd prefer a Covenant Cup, perhaps ;D

22 May, 2021 13:33

Somehow I had not liked this article from last year. I have now rectified my mistake. (As I brew my java in the other room...)

Grandmaster AzounIV
Luca Poddighe
22 May, 2021 17:09

I love the reference to anvilities, Just great stuff!

Transform your quirks, in your strength! Join the revolution and visit Phaldorya (Eng)
25 May, 2021 10:36

It's fun to include the community where I can :D

25 May, 2021 13:29

*Chef's kiss*