Turns out you can have too much of a good thing.Javamania is a crippling and tragic addiction to Java, or a healthy enthusiasm for the world's best drink, depending on who you ask. Engineered to be addictive and generously laced with rejected combat simulants, Java has its hook in everyone - Javamania is when those hooks get in real deep and rewire the addicts' entire nervous system to accommodate. Some would say that Javamania is the inevitable consequence of consuming Java, and that everyone will end up there sooner or later... And usually, those people are sued to hell by Java Inc for defamation. Still, there's no escaping it. Without Java, quotas would slip well beneath what is considered acceptable and financial quarters would not be satisfactory. What's a few psychotic and cannibalistic breakdowns compared to that?
With a taste this great, who wouldn't want more?Javamania is caused by a combination of unfortunate genetics and an overly enthusiastic consumption of Java. Almost everyone is addicted to Java, to one degree or another, but Javamania is when that 'positive consumer behavior' becomes a problem. Not right away, as the early stages of the condition lead to a sharp increase in sales without much loss of productivity. The health of the Javamaniac is another matter, but not really of great concern to the corps.
It isn't helped by various corps constantly tinkering with their brew formula. There are countless variations on Java, so pinning down exactly what cocktail of nootropics at fault is too much of a hassle for anyone to bother.
Stage 1 - Loyal ConsumerAt this stage, Javamania isn't seen as much of a problem but as a virtue. Sure, the worker might be a bit surly, and standing between them and that first cup in the morning isn't a great idea, but they can still function and still file those reports. Long-term health complications include increased risk of heart disease, diabetes, and the usual suspects when you're doing something you know isn't healthy.
Stage 2 - Big SpenderAt this point, the Javamaniac drinks Java like water and earns plenty of coupons and other loyalty program benefits for her consumption. While the corporations are grateful for the support, what was once long-term is now more immediate. Javamaniacs are filled with manic energy, which sometimes causes a stroke or brain aneurism. Stage 2 Javamaniacs have a hair-trigger when it comes to getting their fix at this stage, but since there are no real physical changes, it often goes undiagnosed.
Stage 3 - Signs of TroubleIt's around stage 3 when people stop joking about the Javamaniac's drinking habits, right about when the physical mutations begin. The Javamaniacs are prone to episodes of destructive binge-drinking, and god help anyone who gets in the way of their fix. They become twitchy and charged, with the world seeming to move at half-speed. Along with an inability to sit still for more than five seconds and anger at everyone for not keeping up, the Javamaniac can also look forward to hair and/or teeth loss, mild deformities, and worst of all - loss of work performance.
At this stage, some Javamaniacs drink themselves to death - imbibing so much Java at such a rate that they drown in it.At this point, Javamaniacs will go to any length to get their morning brew - even missing the morning stand-up meeting.
Stage 4 - Uh ohIf an overworked heart or other health problems don't kill them first, the Javamaniac continued to devolve. They become wired, able to perceive and move at incredible speeds - with all the attention span of a goldfish to go with it. A Stage 4 Javamaniac never stops moving if they can help it, behaving much like a shark, only really slowing down when they're dead. They don't sleep or ever really do much other than prowl for their next cup of Java. Despite sometimes looking like extras in a horror movie, with pointy teeth and gore-splattered clothing, Javamaniacs can still talk and communicate mainly through complaining about headaches or wanting Java. It gets even worse after that, though.
Stage 5 - That's Classified
Sorry, Citizen. You're going to have to come with me.
TreatmentDoctors are slow to diagnose Javamania until the later stages, ruling it as a healthy spending habit and loyal customer behavior until they start gnawing someone's face off. Until then, any treatment used for addiction can be used successfully, but who'd want to be cured of a craving for the smooth, delicious taste of a hot cup of Java - certainly, the corporations selling the stuff doesn't want them to quit. Once the Javamaniac gets to Stage 4, the treatment becomes much more complicated and unprofitable, so it rarely happens. Many corps just wait for the Javamaniac to commit some crime while hunting for Java, then lock 'em up and go "problem solved!". Like Great White Sharks, Javamaniacs don't do well in captivity and probably eat more people.
Still, there's hope for those with robust medical insurance (or corporate knowledge that someone would really like to get to), though the exact procedures are a closely guarded secret. It's believed to be a combination of gene-therapy and psychosurgery, but corporate doctors assure everyone that "it's no big deal, don't worry about it"
Java, Megacorpolis' Favorite DrinkUbiquitous across the Megacorpolis, Java is a popular and powerful stimulant to help achievers achieve and corporate drones chained to their desks for another 18-hour shift. When coffee wasn't cutting it, Java stepped up to the plate with a mixture of nootropics, caffeine, stimulants, and other classified ingredients.
Java, the brew of the world!
Item | May 10, 2021
Java makes the world go around. Consult your doctor before consuming this delicious caffeinated beverage. Terms and conditions apply.
Java IncRebranded after its flagship product, Java Inc is the largest producer and distributor of Java. Only a concentrated effort by other Megacorps has prevented them from holding a total monopoly, but more than half of the brands of Java on the market come from Java Inc. The web of subcontractors and sister-corporations has become such a tangled mess that Java Inc once launched a blistering campaign of attacks on what turned out to be one of their own subsidiaries.
Shortages of Java have been known to spark violent riots - another reason why every corp is keen to have their own supply. Nobody wants to be at the mercy of a competitor when it comes to Java.
Conspiracies and TheoriesThere are plenty who believe that Java is a tool of various shadowy conspiracies to control the masses through addiction and supply restriction. It's never explained exactly how that's any different from how the corporations already rule the world, but it gives them something to talk about (probably while sipping on a cup of Java).
A rare few don't drink Java, and they tend to be pretty insufferable about the fact - especially if they are Contrarians.
JavabominationsLate-stage Javamaniacs are sometimes called Javabominations and have the role of boogeymen in the Megacity. Heavily mutated and more than a little high-strung, Javabominations are thankfully rare, as most die from any number of horrible things from consuming so much Java long before then. They reached city-wide fame with the movie "the Javabominables", where the main character slowly succumbs to Javamania in excruciating, profit-shrinking detail. Needless to say, Java Inc is still looking to have words with the corps behind the project.
Javamaniacs sometimes gather in small groups, united by their brand preference. They lurk in the forgotten parts of Megacorpolis and around the great pipes that carry Java throughout the Megacity.