Beer Ooze

Hey, where'd my drink go?
  Beer Ooze are creatures in the same family as the dreaded gelatinous cube, grey ooze, and all the rest of the slimy horrors that lived in the Old World. True to its name, the Beer Ooze is spawned from alcohol, and most have emerged from the primordial drunkenness that is the Sea of Spirits. From there, they've infested beer kegs and tankards to spread far and wide across Ithekshem. Where there is alcohol, there might be one of these little bastards.  

Description

Beer Ooze range in color from amber to urine-yellow, depending on the quality of brew that created them. They have the consistency of firm jelly and can slither along the ground or up walls with remarkable speed, leaving a trail that stinks of stale beer wherever they go. The Ooze can extend pseudo-pods from its bulk to interact with the world around it (usually tipping your drink over, the little git) and can flatten itself down to slither into anything that isn't completely proof from liquids. Most of the Beer Ooze are no larger than your average, drunken house cat, but at least one has grown to the size of a house after an especially successful party.   They feed on alcohol and possess a supernatural sense that allows them to track booze from miles away. When they find some, they'll either submerge themselves in the liquid and sit there happily gulping it up or spread themselves around a spilled drink to absorb it into themselves. A well-drunk Beer Ooze is a happy, even playful creature that is unlikely to harm anyone (except by accident), and possess a sort of funny charm - as far as a blubbery ooze goes. They're prone to unpredictable, random acts that are only a "hey guys, watch this" away from a drunken friend.   A thirsty Beer Ooze is another matter, staggering from place to place with more surly, aggressive behavior. A Beer Ooze with a hungry-hangover will sometimes batter those it encounters with its pseudo-pods, which can be ineffectively adorable or devastating depending on the size of the Ooze.    
Beer Ooze shows little in the way of communal behavior or even communication, but when they all zone in on a sufficient amount of alcohol, it sure looks like a party.
 

In the World

Most Beer Oozes are spawned from and live in the Sea of Spirits, emerging in great numbers from the primordial mix of alcohol of the place. Other, smaller pools and ponds of alcohol around Ithekshem somehow birth Beer Ooze, but such occasions are much more rare. But as they require no partner to procreate (only a sufficient amount of alcohol - not so different from people, perhaps), a single Beer Ooze can when properly fed, spawn entire colonies. While a single Beer Ooze can be a fun drinking buddy, colonies of them are generally considered pests.   Bartenders and innkeepers particularly loath the creatures, as more than one of them have opened their stores to find a bunch of the little bastards having a merry old party, leaving little to be sold.
 

Bottoms Up!

More than once, a Beer Ooze have slithered into someone's tankard while they weren't looking and then found themselves consumed in the next round of cheers. Drinking a Beer Ooze almost always lead to severe alcohol poisoning, but creatures with hardy constitution or a well-developed sense of handling their drink sometime inherit the Beer Ooze's ability to sense alcohol.   Either way, the Beer Ooze doesn't go quietly, and the drinker will find themselves trying to keep their drink down in an entirely new way.  

Arcane Alcohol

Beer Ooze are relatively weak arcane components, but can be used to enhance any spell or ritual related to alcohol or partying, making them a favorite with a certain class of hedonistic spellcasters.   Those who use Beer Ooze in their rituals typically use the poor creatures to brew some sort of alcoholic beverage. The process kill the Ooze, but the resulting drink has enough sense to stay in the stomach of whoever consumes it, most of the time.  


Cover image: by Sebastian Wagner

Comments

Author's Notes

Changelog:
2021-02-19: Added commissioned ooze image, fixed typo. Add this changelog as an experiment; chime off in the comments if you read these or find them useful!


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5 Dec, 2020 11:45

Oooh... could it be? An Algaenoid that went pub-crawling?

— The wolf of Tales of Justice, Creator of Legends of Elohey, Star Wars: Shards, Fiven Chronicles and more!
5 Dec, 2020 12:12

Oh god, that's a short story waiting to happen, isn't it? Hahaha


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.   Current challenge article: Peculiar Plant - the Mind-Shadowed Lotus
Master Brinsmead
Caitlin Phillips
5 Dec, 2020 12:54

What a fantastic little creature! I'd love to see what a Beer Ooze party looks like.

Cait x
5 Dec, 2020 13:12

Thank you <3   And I'm pretty sure that's an image I'll have to commission at some point :D


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.   Current challenge article: Peculiar Plant - the Mind-Shadowed Lotus
Sage Serukis
Dr Emily Vair-Turnbull
5 Dec, 2020 16:45

These sound rather adorable, to be honest. :D I like the image of them sitting happily in a tankard.

Emy x   Welcome to Etrea! Please check out my peculiar plants entry! :)
6 Dec, 2020 08:45

Oh I definitely have to commission an image of that :D


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.   Current challenge article: Peculiar Plant - the Mind-Shadowed Lotus
5 Dec, 2020 17:55

I love this, a lot!! You really made me laugh, especially at the last sentence. I can almost hear you say that last sentence out loud and it cracked me up real good.

6 Dec, 2020 08:45

Woah, thank you :D I'm glad it is fun : D


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.   Current challenge article: Peculiar Plant - the Mind-Shadowed Lotus
5 Dec, 2020 18:58

Eurgh, I'm pretty sure I've found a beer ooze or two when taking the empty cans back to the return-it depot!

Cathedris, the world of God-Husks and New Magic, welcomes you.
6 Dec, 2020 08:43

Art imitates life :D


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.   Current challenge article: Peculiar Plant - the Mind-Shadowed Lotus
Journeyman David_Ulph
David Alexander
6 Dec, 2020 00:17

Absolutely brilliant love it!

Latha math leat! Sending praise from the Hebrides! Check out my peculiar plant - Lungroot
6 Dec, 2020 08:43

Thank you! :D


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.   Current challenge article: Peculiar Plant - the Mind-Shadowed Lotus
13 Dec, 2020 13:48

That's such an adorable idea! At least in reasonable doses - much like alcohol, I suppose.

The Kaleidoscope System | My DeviantArt Profile   My entry for the "Peculiar Plants" challenge: Umpu Deraksi
14 Dec, 2020 09:37

Maybe I should add some more info about having one as a familiar! :D


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.   Current challenge article: Peculiar Plant - the Mind-Shadowed Lotus
25 Feb, 2021 18:26

Please do. i know a few players who would appreciate one!

6 Feb, 2021 20:58

You just totally traumatized our lush of a tiefling paladin of Thor!

18 Feb, 2021 17:54

Such fun creatures! I particularly loved the fact that you can inherit the Beer Ooze's ability to sense alcohol.
PS: You really need to add the art to the article, it was a lovely image <3

19 Feb, 2021 11:02

It has been done! :)   It was a bit big for the cover image, so I put it on the side panel for now :)


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.   Current challenge article: Peculiar Plant - the Mind-Shadowed Lotus
19 Feb, 2021 18:13

Looks great, so cute!

Grandmaster AzounIV
Luca Poddighe
20 Feb, 2021 11:48

I am slightly disappointed you excluded the possibility of any stout version of beer ooze...

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Gege16
Gege Escriva
21 Feb, 2021 02:56

So if you party hard beware of those alcohol fed amoeba-like fellas xD OMG I was already laughing when I did read the excerpt and now a the comparisons and metaphors you used made explode lmao. Well deserved featured, this article if very funny written, I love it!! :D

22 Feb, 2021 22:02

Thanks! :D


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.   Current challenge article: Peculiar Plant - the Mind-Shadowed Lotus
Sage SailingOcelot
Sailing Ocelot
7 Mar, 2021 04:19

Haha, that's fantastic, Q! ... And also horrifying after reading 'bottoms up!' :'D

~~~~~~~~ SailingOcelot
7 Mar, 2021 09:28

Heheh, thank you :D


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.   Current challenge article: Peculiar Plant - the Mind-Shadowed Lotus