Riders of the Whistling Skull Opening Credits in Legends of Elohey | World Anvil

Riders of the Whistling Skull Opening Credits

Grolm 11, 578
about 11:00 AM

Definitely not the voice of Barry Campbell:

Y'all have breakfast at Juniper Flail Ranch with a plentiful stack o' flapjacks and molasses, a dish Brawn calls "Hen-Fruit Stir". (Lee Chung and Miro Teague both would agree that it's just your basic pancake batter with extra rolled oats mixed into the batter. Nothing remarkable.) There's no butter on the table. Instead you have this odd, awful-tasting concoction of sorghum mixed with fat. Most folks skip that in favor of more molasses.
Lawful ain't at that breakfast table.
I reckon it must make sense: Some ranch hands must go on duty before the rising of the sun, to see to the critters. Brawn's grown children "Adder" and "Hilly" are at table long enough to fill their gullets, then head off to chores -- though Miss Hilly does linger long enough to ask Miro Teague whether he'd care to walk out a bit afore he continues on his way.
Outside, near the barn that the residents want no visitors to enter, Topiary Rex munches down on a mildew-laden hay bale.
Jesse Devonshire and Wrong Way might care to see to that, lest the Hesters or the resident hands take drastic steps!
As for the rest of the SNAFU Posse:
Ranger Bruthazmus trundles down the northern slope of the mountain toward Juniper Flail as a herd of shaggy cattle disappear over the northwestern hills to the day's grazing. None of these cattle look to be glowing, nor likely to stand on their hindhooves. Funny how a few short days of turmoil can make the mundane sights of the world become so jarring, ain't it?
A halfling man draws buckets of water for the kitchen dishes. A halfling woman leans on her hay fork and wishes increasingly disgusting fates upon the gigantic cactus-bush conglomeration still munching on a roll of hay.
Today's the day that some of you are planning to head for Sarsparilla Barn, no?
You might need to come to a sturdy consensus on a few items in your plannin'!
To wit:
You got an obligation to figure out a safe next step for all these folks you rescued. But you can't do everything! Are you gonna split up or stay together? Escort them away? Purgatory Gulch is a giant cactus, last you saw. Do you send 'em off to Arjory Pond, or north a month's journey by foot across the Longgrass Plains to Thysbee, or east a week by wagon to Aquitaine, or what?
That brings up an important issue! How you fixin' to get where you're going? Shank's mare ain't gonna get you to any sort of destination in a restful state. Miss Zhang Sephia can fly across the breadth of Oatman Canyon in a couple of hours, but she can't carry most candidates along.
Only then do we get into the meat of the matter:
Speakin' of whom....
Some of the folks you rescued have wandered out to the kitchen garden after breakfast.
They needed to take stock of their situation.
They felt they ought to stretch their legs a bit.
More'n a few got jumpy when they heard the cattle lowing as they left the Juniper Barn at sunrise.
Best to see for themselves, right?
Lucky Alston, sister of Chica Alston
and sister-in-law of Princess Alfredo-Alston,
was one of them folks y'all rescued from Oatman Cavate.
She ain't been puttin' herself forward over the events of last night and this morning.
Looked mighty glad to be rescued from the smokeroom.
Looked mighty glad to get a wash last night and a stretch of floor.
Don't speak 'less spoken to.
Lot of that goin' 'round!
Lucky stepped out to the garden after breakfast to see if she can't wash a little more of the rosemary and garlic soot off her scalp.
Hustler Fowler pointed out that she'd have more luck if she ducks her whole head into the water trough over by the barn.
(who woke up spittin' mad)
kept her sister-in-law company.
The Hesters spotted them.
The Hesters came walkin' over with a purpose in their strides.
Their immediate destination was not, in fact, to lay hands on their Princess.
No: Bull cut between Princess and Lucky. Gore set foot between Lucky and the ranch house.
Now the Hell Hand Duo walk slowly in a circle around Lucky Alston,
just how they would ride slowly around nervy cattle to keep 'em from stampeding.
Only they are not singing.
Nor captivating.
They speak with menace:
Aw, push yer barrow! I'm too wore out for theatrics!




With special appearance by


Be on the lookout for


Time to let the GM know that you are ready to start the reel!

Cover image: by CB Ash


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