shifting lessons [session 16]

[prompt: treasured childhood memory]
 
when vaylan and i were 3, our first siblings were born. i don't really remember it because we were so young and barely learned to shift ourselves. but i do remember being my tiny 6 year old self and trying to teach yuji an ku how to shift for the first time. vaylan and i had split the litter and he was trying to get enoch and aire to learn, and it was definitely more competition than game. we were in the garden area, i think, and appa and teitei were working, and letting momma and sire rest.
 
i remember standing on the remember standing on the soft leaf covered ground talking them through it, and shifting myself to show them. i could do it but it was one of those things where once in wolf i had to stay for a bit cus it takes a lot out of you when you're little. we were taking a break, and had cuddled up in a little pile and fell asleep. yuji and ku have always been really tactile, and love physical affection no matter what form they're in, even then.
 
i remember blinking awake, half asleep in the later afternoon sun, and finding myself cuddling with two tiny human forms instead of wolves. they had both shifted in their sleep. it was the first time i got to meet them as humans, and it was really special. at that point they were about as tall as my wolf shape in human form, so they were both cuddled up close and i couldn't really get out to let anyone know without waking them up or disturbing them.
 
thankfully not two minutes later appa came by to get us. they smiled down at us, and the joy on their face was the kind i've only really seen a few times. appa kissed my head and told me to stay, they were going to go grab tei tei, momma, and sire before waking up yuji and ku. when they came back it was a really special moment. it was the only time i've been around for that for any of my younger siblings, though i've always been able to cuddle and hug them not too long after their first shifts.
 
it's not something i think about super often, but it always makes me hope for the future, and having my own pups to get to show the world too. i know my parents and the village would prefer i start thinking about all that now, but i don't feel ready yet. i'm still so young myself, and there's so much to do, and just. i don't feel quite ready to sit down and commit myself to just popping out and raising pups for the rest of my life. i will, absolutely, when i find the right person or people for me, but i haven't and i don't want to rush it.
 
also, we definitely won, enoch and aire didn't learn to shift that day, and vaylan was so grumpy about it.