The Greshorio Murders

This article is better read on PC.
Today, our city lost two of its dearest friends and protectors. Their families are left without a husband, a father, and a grandfather.   In the name of my house, I, Tinva Glen Vertos, swear that I shall not let the people who took them from us get away with it.
— Tinva Glen Vertos' speech after Rensar Glen Greshorio was confirmed dead.
  Thirty-one years ago, the Greshorio Family almost went extinct after the current and previous heads of the family were murdered during an expedition.   This is the story gathered by the inspectors after questioning the few survivors...  

Wanting for more

217, Irisport. Despite his efforts, Lion Glen Greshorio cannot find a way to regain the influence his family had generations ago. Still, what he managed to build was already considered enormous by many, but not by himself. What he wanted was not the best place in the council, it was uncontested supremacy over his peers.   This unextinguishable thirst for recognition and power was transmitted to his son Rensar, and together, they came up with a plan. If the Greshorio family lost its glory after their gold mine went dry, then they just needed to open another one. If the whole Eastern Desert did not have gold anymore, then they would go north, further than anyone ever went, in the Sun mountains.  
One could easily see how Lion won back the love of his people after his predecessor, Tynn, lost it. A good third of the city was there to wish them luck and safety. The only time something like this usually happens is when the royal family visits. That says a lot about the Greshorios' fame.
    219, second month, the seventieth, Irisport. Lion and Rensar spent the last two years preparing for their expedition. Lion studied the mountains and drew their route, Rensar handpicked each member of their escort. A total of twenty soldiers were waiting at the northern door, surrounded by a euphoric crowd. Applauses rained on the two Greshorios as they made their appearances, followed by Rensar's wife and his son, Vafrun.         As the sun rose from behind the mountains, Vafrun walked up to his father. After the latter made the crowd silent with a firm movement of the hand, his son sent them off with a prayer to Kelyeran Asturac.  
What a sweet boy he was... poor soul. He had no idea what was coming, just like any of us. He wrote his prayer himself, they said. It was so cute, and now so heartbreaking knowing what happened.
— A Lady from the crowd, 221.
 
First piece of evidence: Letter found on one of the bandits.

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Tiresome, Warm Day

All the testimonies were relatively the same and coherent with each other until the convoy entered the mountains during the 5th day of travel. The trip went relatively well, with a few cases of sand sharks attacking now and then.   A few hours after they left the roads and ventured into the wilderness, the group was attacked for the first time. Nothing insurmountable: a small handful of outlaws shooting arrows, aiming at the Dlintiarnas to kill as many mounts as possible. Only one beast died, and the bandits retreated when a detachment charged them. Yet, the further they went into the mountains, the more frequent the attacks became. This would have been no problem for the soldiers had the climate not been that harsh. The temperatures were definitely higher than the average for the season, tiring soldiers and beasts alike.   After a restless day of climbing their way north, the group managed to capture a few bandits and planned to interrogate them as they settled a camp for the night. Right around dinnertime, when the guards were the fewer, the outlaws attacked again: in small but deadly waves to always keep the mercenaries wary and tense.   Around the same time, one of the bandits ended up talking under torture.
E-Even if we don't get you, you'll all be dead if y'all keep going north. No one ever comes back from there, no one!
With that information in hand, Lion and the leader of the mercenaries decided to try their luck and go north, hoping that the bandits wouldn't follow them. According to the cries of terror that the bandit emitted when they let him know that he was going north with them, they assumed he was telling the truth.   Next is where things got blurry for inspectors, as testimonies started contradicting each other.    
Second piece of evidence: Analysis of the murderers' weapon.

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Sleepless, crimson night

Silence. The bandits abandoned the fight as the Greshorio troops went deeper north. Finally, they could settle a good camp and find some rest.   Or so they thought. The last piece of coherent information is the following:   Serjo Bintins was on duty around the campfire, watching the soldiers who were on the outside of the camp in case of a surprise attack. He saw one of them looking concerned as if he was trying to make his gaze pierce through the dark to see something. Then, nothing. The man disappeared, Serjo yelled, and chaos began.   From this point, investigators had to reassemble the story from whatever pieces they could get.  
I said enough, right..? Please don't make me remember anymore, I just-- I can't. Please...
A group of gérouns attacked; that, they are sure. The killers wore masks and were undoubtedly highly trained to do what they did. According to the large variety of injuries on the survivors, it is safe to assume that they are both excellent at using weapons or fighting barehanded.   The fighting seemingly lasted less than five minutes. Lion Greshorio probably had a good vision from his tent and immediately ordered the retreat. Shouting his orders made him an easy target for the killers who perfectly shot two arrows at him. Rensar still managed to grab his father and put him behind himself on his mount, but was also shot once in the leg while doing so. The few survivors did not bother retrieving the carts and straightforwardly went for the mounts and ran as well.  
It was hell, trying to put that story back together. Some described ten men, some a hundred. One time it was gérouns, the next time it was humans. They all went nuts.
  Lion Greshorio was losing a lot of blood and passed away as they reached the bottom of the mountains. Quickly afterward, Rensar started having nausea and trouble seeing. He lasted a few more hours before he also had to be put behind someone on a mount.   The riders kept going straight to the city of Estuana, halfway to Irisport, where they requisitioned a cart and changed mounts. Everything was gladly provided by the locals when they saw the two Greshorios. The next day, they made it to Irisport. The whole trip took three days. Rensar Glen Greshorio followed his father in death two days after his arrival at Irisport, without being able to say anything to the inspectors. However, he managed to draw something on his way back, when he still had enough sanity.  
Third piece of evidence: Rensar's drawing.

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Date of First Recording
220
Date of Setting
219
Related Locations
Related Organizations
 
The Greshorio Family
Organization | Aug 27, 2020
     
It was later found that one of the groups of bandits that was continually harassing the Greshorios' iron mines had spies in town. They collected every bit of information they could on the route that their expedition would take.   Lion Glen Greshorio was far from stupid, he did not share every detail of the route to the public, but Rensar did talk about it to some of the mercenaries. They are probably the ones who let the information slip at some tavern.   Once the bandits had what they needed, we know that they convinced at least two other groups to join forces with them to ambush the convoy in the mountains.  
- Captain Visto Istana, 224
       
The Eastern Desert
The map of the Eastern Desert with the current border of the Land of Fire. Findable in most cities for the region.
     
Among the survivors that made it back to the city was Rensar Glen Greshorio, but in a damn bad shape. He got poisonned by some kind of shit that messed with his head, if y'know what I mean. Poor man could not even walk, let alone have a decent conversation. All he could do was whimpering, t'was fucking sad to watch.   I was on duty that day, spent the whole time guarding the dispensary. The young lord was not allowed in, her mother wouldn't let him see his dad like that. To be honest, I think that was for the better. The boy would have never forgotten it.
In the end, his father ended up suffocating to death. The poison would not let him breathe anymore, and the alchemist tried every remedy they could, in vain.  
- Sentos Jura, former private Greshorio guard.
     

Rumeurs

by Nafrin

GreshorioSigil

The Greshorio Crest

None of us know what this drawing is, even though it is somehow linked to the killers. The reactions from some of the survivors when they saw it confirmed that theory. We have yet to find the provenance of that symbol, but we will keep looking.   We have the support of our people and the noble families of the city, it's the first time that an investigation got this much resources. We will find these outlaws and make them pay, whoever they might be and wherever they might hide.  
- Sentos Jura, former private Greshorio guard, 220.
After a few months of searches without results, the Irisan guard was forced to surrender the evidence to the higher hierarchy of the Anti-contraband. They never heard of anything concerning the investigation again.
 

Irisans' fury

The following months saw many large volunteer groups of militia shaking the Sun Mountains like a groundswell. The five years after the murders were the time where the north of the Eastern Desert was the safest.   While some bandits got captured and brought to have a trial like the Nelandrean Cult wants, lots of them were presumably killed on the spot. Despite the fact that outlaws reconquered some places over the years, their numbers are nothing compared to what they used to be before the murders.   Yet, the mysterious masked murderers were never found again. Once the population calmed down, the clergy forbid the access to the crime scene, classifying it as a dangerous location to avoid.

Memorials

As fighters went to avenge the two nobles in the mountains, many civilians skipped up to three days of work to grieve and commemorate the fallen. Countless prayers were given all over the region, and a large commemoration was held on one of Irisport's plazas that got renamed after Lion.   The two Greshorios got a statue at that same place, pointing towards the mountains where they saw the future of their family. Each year, every Irisan has a holiday on the seventieth day of the second month to commemorate once more.   Vafrun Glen Greshorio, Rensar's son managed to rebuild his family from the beginning thanks to the help of his mother.
 

Comments

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Sage Dylonishere123
R. Dylon Elder
26 Oct, 2019 23:34

HELLOOO critique time!   "This article is better read on PC." id center that, idk, maybe im just weird but it seems out of place to me personally.   "after er the current and previous heads of the family were murdered during an expedition." Found a little typo their. Seems like the er in after doubled up.   " uncontested supremacy among his pairs." did you mean peers by chance?     "One could easily see how Lion won back the..." Maybe add the author on this quote, as the others have authors but this does not.     0.0 How.... how? how on earth is the hover switch css socery done?! i nearly shot soda out of my nose as my mouse drifted over and boom, mind blown.       "First piece of evidence: Letter found on one of the bandits." Also i really like that you label the evidence you put on display here. its a pretty nice touch that grounds the case.       "I said enough, right..? Please don't make me remember anymore, I just-- I can't. Please..." this quote and the one after done have an author, buttttt it is implied. so not a huge thing.     "wore masks and were undoubtedly highly trained to do what they did. According to the large variety of injuries on the survivors, it is safe to assume that they are both excellent at using weapons or fighting barehanded." its a minor thing but i noticed that you mention how talended they are twice back to back. they are highly trained to do what they do, then you go and define how good they are at specific things that they do. again its not repetitive but thought id point it out just in case others do.   "They never heard of anything concerning the investigation again." Thats a little suspicious. >.>     So i loved it! lots of awesome entries and your's is among them! im not as familiar with your world as id like to be, but i didn't feel lost or unaware at all in this read. Its well contained and has some wonderful detail with thought out information. I also loved the artwork, particularly the header, crests, and the hover me evidence pieces. It really blew my mind. The quotes are very well written as well. i can easily see people talking this way and saying these things. Excellent work, as always!

Sage Happy4488
Matthieu A.
27 Oct, 2019 13:18

Hey, just went through all your feedback and applied a few changes, thanks a lot. :)

27 Oct, 2019 18:12

Hello Happy,   so for the first part of the feedback, I wanted to mention the things you asked for. Wrong words and incorrect English phrases and such.   The first thing is directly in the opening quote. "...I shall not let the persons..." It would be either "person" if its a single culprit or "people" if there are several. You could also replace it with "the one" as that could flow a bit better. But that's just my opinion.   In the first line of the "Wanting for more" section, I would replace the "take back" with "regain" as that is more commonly used when dealing with concepts like influence. It would also flow better imo.   In this line "it was uncontested supremacy among his peers." replace "among" with "over" as supremacy means being above the others which I take he wants from the context.   "When dawn showed up from behind the mountains," This line is a bit awkward as "dawn" is the process of the sun rising. Maybe use "As the sun rose..." for example.   Second sentence under "Tiresome, Warm Day". This line "...but who were easily scared away. " does not really work and makes the whole sentence a bit janky to read. You already mention that the trip went well so the part is a bit redundant.   The Second Piece of Evidence has a mistake. When you describe the symptoms it would be "hallucinations at first".   In the "Memorials" section the phrase "managed to rebuild his family from the beginning " reads rather awkward. Replacing "beginning" with " ground up" would work much better.   Something I noticed a few times in your article, is that you tend to ad a "the" in positions where it isn't necessarily needed. For example in the last section "Irisans' fury", the line "the clergy forbid the access to the crime scene". The article in front of "access" is not needed. This isn't really a mistake. Both ways are known and accepted in English. A simple rule is that "the" is only used when you refer to a specific noun. Just something I wanted to mention.   For other feedback, I looked through the article, looked at what Dylon had already mentioned but couldn't find anything else really. Its a great article. From the way the mystery is structured, the use of quotes and the evidence, the pictures and and and. Long story short, awesome work happy. I really enjoyed reading it.

Sage Happy4488
Matthieu A.
28 Oct, 2019 17:31

Hey Dark, thanks a lot of the help & feedback, I'll make the edits tonight :]

20 Nov, 2019 15:48

Very well done. The Hover Effects are such a great touch too!

13 Apr, 2020 00:47

Always impressed with the editing. I'd like to have more information about where the murder took place (crime scene location), the victims, and other stuff, and place it at the top of the article because it'd be better to see them as early as possible. Sentos Jura's testimony could be improved by picking a form of speech and sticking to it. the part where he says "if you know what I mean' feels unnecessary.