• CENTURION 1.35%
  • USD -2.23%
  • ANVIL 5.55%
  • GOLD -5.03%
  • AMMO 1.01%
  • WAR INC 0.94%
  • RAPTORS -2.93%
  • GAIA 2.81%
  • LODGE 8.42%
  • MASCOTS -1.42%
  • COFFEE 12.01%
  • LIFE -7.41%
  • LEGENDARY -2.93%
  • SHOCKPIKE -3.23%
  • CENTURION 1.35%
  • USD -2.23%
  • ANVIL 5.55%
  • GOLD -5.03%
  • AMMO 1.01%
  • WAR INC 0.94%
  • RAPTORS -2.93%
  • GAIA 2.81%
  • LODGE 8.42%
  • MASCOTS -1.42%
  • COFFEE 12.01%
  • LIFE -7.41%
  • LEGENDARY -2.93%
  • SHOCKPIKE -3.23%

The Legend of "the legend of Yeti"

He's still out there. We can't have killed all of them. Right?  
— Bob the Bigfoot Hunter
  After the Loch Ness had dried out in 2031 and there were no sign of the fabled monster, hopes was dwindling for Cryptozoologists. From the deepest reaches of the Mariana Trenches to the most inhospitable wilderness, less and less mystery remained to be found on Earth. Then, in 2038, the Yeti was found and captured, its existence confirmed beyond the shadow of a doubt.   That day, the "I told you so"s echoed across the world and with such intensity on the Internet that many servers went down completely.    

The Legend Lives!

  The Yeti had been one of the most enduring and popular cryptids in human history. Countless armed and drunken mobs have scoured the woods looking for any sign of the creature. Endless samples of hair, feces and tracks in the mud have been taken, examined, debunked and re-examined for decades. Traditional science had always scoffed at the idea of cryptids, and Cryptozoologists have since made sure to remind them of this at every possible opportunity.    

Yeti_2

    The Yeti was believed to be a large hairy humanoid, sometimes theorized to be an ape or even bear. Some Cryptozoologist thought it to be just another animal, while others attributed it to fantastical magical powers that seem a little less silly now. Before 2038, the most proof that existed of the Yeti was hair samples, blurry video footage and tracks. It was only when a group of "Big Foot Hunters" used technology initially designed to detect dimensional distortions following the Great News Fracture that they managed to spot, then promptly shot, a Yeti.   And with just a hastily aimed shotgun blast, history changed course.    

The Legend Quickly Dies

  After the first unveiling of the Yeti, legions of Cryptozoologists around the world mobilized to get their own shot (sometimes literally) at the legendary cryptid, now proven real. The Megacorporations quickly got in on the game, hosting everything from brand-sponsored hunting expeditions to starting their own Yeti-zoos. R&D departments all over the globe scrambled for their own sample to poke, prod, dissect and exploit. It was an explosive gold rush that saw thousands of Yeti-themed products launched to capitalize on the discovery.   Twenty years later, the last known Yeti was slaughtered in the toxic ash-lands of Texas and the legendary creature faded back into legend. But not everyone is so willing to believe that.  

 
One contributing factor to the Yeti's swift demise was the intense rivalry between various bigfoot hunting groups. The groups had never really gotten along, with each wanting to be the ones who proved their existence. With that out of the way, their contest took on a new and lethal direction.
   

The Legend of the Legend Lives (again)

 
Yeah, they're just waiting out there... Watching us. They just figured out how to hide again. It's a big world, right?  
— Bob the Bigfoot Hunter
  Since then, the Yeti has entered history as an elusive wild animal that is now considered extinct. Others believe that the Yeti still exists out in the wild and a new generation of monster hunters have begun to scour the earth for the creature. Now that copious amounts of data exist on the Yeti's habit and behavior exist, they believe it is only a matter of time before they are found again.   Any day now.  

Yeti_4

by Universo curioso

Top 5 Videos that prove the Yeti Still Lives!!! Click to subscribe!!
Hiding In Plain Sight   Exactly how the Yeti was able to remain undetected is still a matter of fierce debate among Yetiologists. The most popular theory remains that the Yeti possess some sort of spacial-distortion field that prevents it from being easily spotted and allows it to travel the world in moments. At least, until technology caught up with them. This remains speculation since none of the clones displays this ability.   Others maintain that there was never any Yeti and that it was all a hoax perpetrated by the megacorps to dupe consumers and make millions of credits. Such crackpots are afforded little attention.
   

Cryptidmania

  The discovery of the Yeti was a boon not only for Big Foot Hunters (and the corporations selling them things), but a shot in the arm for every cryptozoologist aiming to prove the existence of their favorite cryptid. At the height of the fever, the Ondo Mercenary Company was even employed to scout the Rust Belt of the post-American countryside.   Chupacabras still turned out to be just dogs or coyotes with mange, though.    
by Lenta.ru
   

Cryptid Credits

  The first Yeti had barely been shocked with a cattle-prod even once before the first Megacorp stepped up to try and make a profit from the discovery. While the extinction of the Yeti has largely removed these products from mainstream circulation, they have a cult following among consumers. The most popular of these is the Yeti-themed energy drink and/or supplement called "Yeti-ntensity", currently banned in five sectors of the Megacorpolis for various reasons.  
You know what they say about men with big feet. Get your Yeti-ntensity on, today!  
— Yeti-ntensity commercial
    The few remaining yeti-pelt coats are items of decadent luxury and whenever one surfaces on the market, they come with astronomical price-tags: a fact that doesn't bode well if there are any Yeti's still out there.    
by Justin Martell/Rolfe Kanefsky


Cover image: by Gimli/Patterson

Comments

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18 Mar, 2019 21:43

I absolutely love the ongoing tone of humor of this world. This particular entry reads like it came out of a news article or editorial journal!   I believe! They must still be out there.

Admin of the WA Codex & Discord

Ethnis | Ko-Fi | Twitter

19 Mar, 2019 07:28

<3   I am glad you enjoyed it :D Thank you a ton


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.
BKBass
B.K. Bass
19 Mar, 2019 13:16

This is amazing! Love the humor. Love the posters!!!

19 Mar, 2019 14:37

<3   Thank yooooooou :D


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.
19 Mar, 2019 14:32

Haha, I love this! Great job man!

19 Mar, 2019 14:37

Thank you kindly! :D I'm glad you enjoyed the read   Megacorpolis is a pretty crazy place, so I figured: why not make Yetis real?


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.
Sage Dylonishere123
R. Dylon Elder
27 Mar, 2019 14:03

I laughed many times. So the concept here is wonderful, the whole shifting from reality and legend and back again as you move through the article is so fun. My love of your world grows with each passing article. I'm curious about bob. Who is he and is he significant at all or just some random guy? The concept of the yeti seems a little out of place as well but for whatever reason it fits perfectly. Well done, though I'm sad nessie isn't a thing lol I didn't notice any real issues in granmer or in structure. Your layout is nice and use of quotes is great as always. Nice work man. I would add a little more on the timeline. Maybe some before and after discovery things. It seems some lonely. Other than that fantastic!

2 Apr, 2019 07:51

<3 Thank you :D   And Bob is just a random guy.. Haha


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.
1 Apr, 2019 23:07

This article feels like it's straight from the National Inquirer. Absolutely love the light-hearted feel of this and solid writing as always.


Check out my worldbuilding in the Ethnis Universe!
2 Apr, 2019 07:55

:D   Thanks! It was a fun one to write


Creator of Araea, Megacorpolis, and many others.