Session 90
General Summary
- The party took some time to gather some materials from the defeated Beholder and catch up with W.E.I.R.D., Barry, and Eyesore.
- Dazki gave Dr. Perry the full story of the party's encounters in the Red Desert, so that she can research it further.
- Barry seems to have it in his mind that all dragonborn — or, rather, all "colored" dragonborn, as opposed to "metal" dragonborn — are pirates, including Richter.
- Eyesore was particularly obstinate, and it took Marvin modifying his memory of the encounter — painting the party in a better light — before he would give up anything.
- According to Eyesore, the Beholder was just someone who needed help, and so Eyesore helped, just (he thinks) like the party wanted for him to do. After a little bit more clarification on the economics of "net help" vs. "net harm", they let him go.
- Dr. Perry allowed the party to stay at the W.E.I.R.D. headquarters for the night, so that's where they went next.
- The party confronted Barry about his racist attitude, trying to get him to apologize. Marvin forced him to with a Command spell, offending the entire rest of the party.
- Grogery apparently tried to Send some messages, now that they're finally away from Overlook, but there was some kind of problem.
- Dazki sent the day's message to Annu, taking this opportunity to "advise" him to treat people with more empathy, even if it's a farce.
- They planned the rest of their travel: first to the road, then to Ashport.
- After an uneventful day of travel, Dazki sensed that a wildfire had started overnight and was quickly heading their way, so they made haste the following day to stay ahead of it.
- Along the way, they were stopped by Sir Edwinton Beansly, a former adventurer who is now a traveling merchant specializing in magical items, which he will give away only in exchange for other magical items. They traded some items, and continued their separate ways.
Full Recap
Debriefing with W.E.I.R.D.
Dwardazik: Ugh. Fine. I understand, maybe he will teach us something. Maybe the Beholder told Eyesore about his plans, or something. Maybe, I dunno. Seems like a stupid waste, but... Dazki: All right, well, thank you, Dwardazik. Thank you. Marvin: In particular, I want to know where Eyesore thought the Beholder would be teleported, from that potion he threw. Kesmet: Last time he used a teleportation potion, I think he went back to that base that Vickle was running? This might have sent him back to that base. Marvin: Probably. Dwardazik: That's what I'm thinkin'. Heh, that would be kinda strange, though — aren't there still people clearing it out? Marvin: He wanted the Beholder to teleport there ... ... actually, that would have been catastrophic, with all the people still there... Dwardazik: That's a good point. Marvin: So these are the kinds of things we need to know. Dwardazik: So, Barry, you doin' all right? Long time no see, lad! Barry: You guys, you're not dead! So, that's a bonus. Dazki: Nope, we're not. Dwardazik: I see you're using those animal handling skills of yours, dealing with that horse. Good job, lad! Barry: ...yeaaah!!! Dazki: Right. So, Perry, why don't we help see what we can save from all this? We'll give you more of an idea what's going on through all this, more than we could give you through the bird.Dazki uses his arcane knowledge to tell them what parts to focus on, and then he goes to help set up the caravan while Dwardazik leads the effort to butcher the corpse of the Beholder. While Dwardazik has his back turned, Grogery heals Eyesore back to consciousness. Editor's note: the GM didn't see that Grogery had done this until much later, so that situation gets resolved later... just roll with it.
Marvin: Anyone know if Beholder meat cooks all that well? Dazki: I do not. Grogery: I do not, and I'm not sure I have any inclination to find out. Marvin: Oh, come on, what's life without a little adventure? Dwardazik: I'm not eating any of that garbage. Dazki: It's possible his other parts might fetch good prices, as magical reagents. Marvin: Ooh, also a good idea! I like that. Dwardazik: Hey, Kesmet, you know if any of these things are arcane ingredients? Use one of your daggers, let's start lifting up sections of this. Dazki: You know... first, we should really take care of the caravan. That's the priority of the people of Overlook. Dwardazik: Uh-huh... yeah... so, Kesmet? Kesmet: I'm a baker, not a chef! That's all meat! You don't bake meat! Dwardazik: ...Dazki, you didn't just give away all your gold, all right? Now, about those magic reagents... Marvin: I'm sure you could probably cut off the eye stalks individually? There's spells shootin' out of those things, gotta be worth somethin'? Maybe the big eye?
Marvin: So, Dr. Perry, are we down a beast of burden? Perry: Yeah. Marvin: Do you think E.D. here would be inclined to fill in? Perry: Hasn't worked well in the past. It'll be slow going, but I'm sure we can get the cart there just fine. Dazki: Well, I do want to say, on behalf of us and the people of Overlook, thank you for your help. Perry: Haven't done anything yet. Dazki: No, but you've started the trek there, and you seem willing and able to at least listen and consider rendering assistance. Marvin: That's more than most people would do. Dazki: So what are you guys planning on doing after helping out Overlook? Perry: We're always on the lookout for the next mystery. So many interesting things going around, you know? Dazki: Yeah. Absolutely. Perry: I wanted to discuss that book with you more. Dazki: Of course, what would you like to know about it? (He pulls the book out.) Perry: That second chapter is so interesting... you think it's the basis of some sort of religion? Dazki: That's certainly what it seems like, especially when you combine it with what we saw in the Flesh Artist's lair. Or, I suppose, "Doctor Lammergeyer", if you want to use his name. Perry: It's not uncommon to base religions on ways to help solve negative emotions, but... usually, it's directed towards some kind of a god or a deity, right? Dazki: Yeah. We have reason to believe that there may be some sort of... "entity" that is directly connected to this, based on some firsthand experience of being forced into other planes. Perry: "Forced into other planes", you say? Dazki: Seems like, on a few instances after we've encountered Turmoil, or one of the servants of whatever this creature is, we've been summoned to another plane to help protect... something-or-another that exists there. They claim that this creature — who controls and manipulates Turmoil, and is manipulating five or six people on this plane — is a threat to our home and theirs. Marvin: It's all very esoteric. Perry: ...Turmoil is on a different plane too, then? Dazki: The origin of it certainly seems like it is. Perry: That doesn't seem right, though. It doesn't like other planes. You can't even put the thing into a pocket dimension without it weirding out. Dazki: Maybe we just haven't found a plane with the right characteristics for it yet? Marvin: Maybe everything that Turmoil does here is just it "weirding out" because it's in our plane, and that's just what it does in our plane? Dazki: That's... actually a really good thought, and I would not have considered that. Marvin: Oh, thanks! Obviously, it has some structure or purpose, whatever it was we saw in the Red Desert. It's purposeful, it has meaning there. Grogery: Maybe it can't actually enact any sensible will for things on this plane, so it needs people to help it. And maybe when we get shunted over there, what we do over there feels super weird to it? Perry: I definitely want to look into this new dimension you've referred to. I don't recall seeing anything like that on any maps. Dazki: Yeah, and we can certainly let you know everything we've experienced, with regards to it. Perry: I'm a good notetaker. Dwardazik, turning around from butchering the Beholder: It's a true mindfuck, I'll give you that much.Dazki gives Dr. Perry a complete accounting of their experiences with the Red Desert, including his initial resistance to believe that it was anything other than a gas-induced hallucination, as they pack up the caravan. Dr. Perry is listening intently and jotting down notes, even as she works to pack up the caravan.
Barry the Hatchet
Dazki: Also, I hear that Barry owes one of your friends a very large apology, to put it mildly. Perry: OK. I don't know where he gets this idea that all dragonborns know all other dragonborns. Marvin: ...oh boy... Dwardazik: BARRY! Get over here! (Barry scuttles over.) Dwardazik: What's this about you being a racist ass to a bunch of dragonborn?! Barry: I don't... I don't know what you're talking about... Dwardazik: Yes, you do know what I'm talking about, because now I have to deal with this shit. You're makin' us look bad! Dazki: From your perspective, what's the deal between you and Richter? Barry: I just don't think he's trustworthy, all right? Dazki: Why not? Barry, mumbling: ...I don't wanna say it out loud, 'cause it gets me in trouble... Marvin: Oh, hey, Barry, I really gotta apologize to you specifically. We killed this really disgusting fish monster thing. It must've been your long-lost brother or something! Barry, perking up: Really?! Marvin: OK... I thought he was going to get the metaphor... Dazki: No, he probably hoped it would be. Barry: Yeah, wait, what did he tell you before he died? Marvin: *makes popping sounds* something like that. Dwardazik: We're getting off-topic. Look, how about this: whisper to me what you want to say. (Barry looks shiftily to the left and to the right, and then begins "whispering" to Dwardazik, at a volume level hardly below normal.) Barry: Look, man. Colored dragons are pirates, and metal dragons are not pirates. I've determined that I don't like pirates. (Dwardazik makes a big double-facepalm.) Dazki: Look at my skin. I'm fairly tan, right? I'm a wood elf. Most people think we're all hippies and druids and live off the land, and all sorts of stuff like that. Is that what I am? What with my pursuit of new technologies, trying to improve civilization, and things like that? It's not true. Maybe not all of the "colored" dragonborn, with the bright primary colors, are pirates. Dwardazik: Barry. I wanna ask you a couple questions, though they may be a bit rhetorical. What do you think about yourself? You know what happened, you got transformed, and I know you haven't been too happy about what you look like now. What do you think? Barry: Things just keep getting more and more confusing, and the more I learn, the more I don't think I like myself. Dwardazik: There's a lot of things that people don't like about themselves. One thing I gotta say — and I thought you'd've picked up on this by now (He points around to all the individual members of the party, including himself) — by now, I thought you'd've figured that we don't really care what people look like. We didn't care what you look like. Barry: Listen, I don't care what anybody looks like either! But that dude, he just boils my blood! Marvin: Have you tried sitting in an ice box for a while? Dazki: When we get back there, I think you should apologize to him, and the two of you should sit down and have a conversation. I'll sit there with you, and you can ask, "hey, listen, I've run into other dragonborn that are pirates" — Kesmet: ", and maybe you know them!" Barry: I don't know if I've run into dragonborn that are pirates! Dazki: Uh... I think you probably have. Based on what you've said. Barry: And I sure as shit am not going to lie to some scallywaggin' pirate! Dazki, getting visibly frustrated: I... well, you... ... ... all right. He's not a pirate. And even if he was, so what? Barry: HE'S A PIRATE, and he's gonna hurt one of you, and it's gonna be my fault, and that's my job! Kesmet: ...wait, what? Marvin: Barry, can I explain to you why he literally can't be a pirate? Grogery: ..."where's the water"? Marvin: Exactly! Where's the boat? Where's the water? Where's the fair maiden that he's capturing? Oh, wait a second, he takes commands from the nice lady standing over here, Dr. Perry! Is that what pirates do? NO! So shut the fuck up! Kesmet: But what if she's the pirate captain? Dwardazik: Oh shit! Dr. Perry! Dazki: Oh for God's sake, Kesmet, you're just making this worse. Dwardazik: Dr. Perry, are you a pirate captain? (Just say no) Kesmet: You can't lead the witness, then it doesn't mean anything! Dwardazik: Oh shit, are you a pirate captain, Dr. Perry? Barry: If that bounty man lays a single finger on that maiden, I'm gonna strike him dead. Dazki: He's not going to lay a finger on her that she does not consent to. I can guarantee that. Barry: Wait, who were we talking about, though? Kesmet: Don't worry about it, Barry. Dwardazik: ARRGH. Barry, stop being an ass. OK, so, the caravan...
Rise and Shine
Eyesore regains consciousness and immediately begins to run, but Grogery immediately traps him in place with a Hold Person.Grogery: Eyesore, why are you running? We talked Dwardazik down, it's fine.Grogery grabs some rope to tie up Eyesore, explaining as he does so that it's just to make sure he doesn't run. Dwardazik folds his arms.
Dwardazik: You know, I could pick him up and carry him a little bit further away, if you want. You know, so we can come back later. Dazki: No, we should all stay right here. Dwardazik: Oh, OK. I just, I mean... if you want to make it easier, you know, for him to escape, I could help. If you want. Eyesore: Oh, we're doin' this song-and-dance again, huh? The one where you tie me up, you say some philosophic stuff, and then you let me go, right? Dazki: Depends on what you tell us. Eyesore: Never depended in the past! You're so stupid! You get tricked every time! Dwardazik: Say you'll be a good boy! You'll get out faster! Marvin: You say we're the stupid ones, but you're the one who keeps getting put into this situation. Eyesore: And you keep letting me go! You get tricked every time! Dazki: OK. Guys, I apologize for this in advance, but... all right... (He marches up to Eyesore.) Dazki, in a firm, angry tone: Listen, idiot. Shut up and answer our questions. Tell us only what we want to hear: the answers to our questions. If I want your opinion, I'll tell you what the fuck it is. Now. Why the hell were you helping the stupid Beholder? Eyesore: What are ya gonna do, stab me? Hehehehehehehe... Dazki, pulling his knife out: You know... Eyesore: Do it! Dwardazik: I would stab him. Dazki: No, it sounds like you want it. So, no. You don't get shit. So either you tell us, or you're just gonna be left out here to suffer in the heat. Why were you helping the Beholder? Eyesore: ...'cause it wanted help. You're so stupid! You're supposed to help people when they want help! Do you not remember your own rules?! Besides, helping someone more powerful — that's, like, better help! Dazki: No. "Better help" is helping people less powerful. Grogery: Less powerful people need more help. And therefore, it is more help when they are helped. Eyesore: Yeah, but less in it for Eyesore if you help a stupid person. You told me to help people; I helped people. You're just so stupid you don't even understand your own rules!Dwardazik goes to find a box to sit on, to enjoy the show. He approaches Aggromir, and they enjoy a drink together, watching this situation play out. Aggromir tells some war tales, showing some of the scars on his arm and his fake eye (a perfectly round, polished opal), which Dwardazik views as an honor.
Grogery: Listen, there's a bit of nuance to this. If you help someone that goes around and hurts a bunch of people, then that's not really a net help. If you help someone that's gonna go around and help people, then that's even better help, because it results in additional help, on top of your help. You help other people help more people for you! Eyesore: How am I supposed to know what other people are gonna do with their lives? You told me to go out and help people, and do what Eyesore wants to do, instead of what other people tell him to do. And now you're tellin' me to do things! Dazki: OK. Listen. Idiot. Here's what you do. You do good things, for good people. Anyone that wants to murder someone else is, generally speaking, not a good person. And yes, I include myself, and all of us, in that group. Because we have — or have wanted to — murder someone, at one point. So, maybe we're not great people. What you do is you go and try to help the people that are gonna help others. Make life easier, and nicer, for other people. It might be hard, but you try to do something that will be a net good. Helping someone slaughter and steal from other people is not good. Am I getting through that incredibly thick skull of yours?Marvin, feeling that this is going nowhere, casts Modify Memory on Eyesore. Eyesore now thinks that the Beholder brought him into this area, but then betrayed him: Eyesore is so smart that the Beholder wanted to absorb his intelligence. He remembers seeing the party riding towards him to save him, as the Beholder started absorbing his brain. The last thing he remembers seeing, before losing consciousness, was the party slaying the Beholder, Dazki plunging his rapier into the giant eye. When he came to, Eyesore now remembers seeing the party tending to his wounds. And yes, he could escape, but he was thinking about maybe getting some food in his belly first, to feel better. Dazki shoots Marvin a glance and steps out of the way, since the halfling has clearly taken charge of this situation.
Eyesore: ...this whole situation is just stupid. Marvin: Hey, buddy. It's gonna be all right. Eyesore: No, like... when are you gonna talk sense into these guys? They're so stupid! Marvin: Eyesore, you could be a little more grateful. We just saved you! Eyesore: ...I am being grateful! You gotta know if you're stupid! Marvin, to the rest of the group: OK, guys. We're all stupid. Obviously, the Beholder had the right idea — Eyesore: No! No-no-no! No! Marvin: — he was jealous of how smart you are, Eyesore! He wanted your smarts! Eyesore: The Beholder had the wrong idea, the whole time! Marvin: ...really? Eyesore: Yeah! But I'm too clever! Marvin: ...go on? Eyesore: The Beholder was stupid to try to betray me! Marvin: Yeah, clearly! Look how it ended up for him! What was his plan, anyway? Eyesore: You know, he never really said. He was just really scared, and I was all like, gonna be helpful. And he seemed really strong. It seems like you would want a really good, strong friend, right? Marvin: Well, we can be your strong friends. We just beat a Beholder! What do you say? Eyesore: But... I was helping the Beholder! Doesn't that make us... what's the opposite of friends? Marvin: Yes, but then the Beholder tried to kill you. By taking your smarts. So he made enemy of you. Eyesore: You tried to kill me a bunch of times too, and we're still friends! Marvin: Yeah, but he was gonna do it for realsies. Actually, we haven't — have we ever actually gotten close to killing you? Besides, we were just defending ourselves. Kesmet, halfheartedly: Yeah. You're so stupid. Marvin: Don't you want to be with the strongest? Eyesore: I wanna do what I wanna do, instead of what you want me to do. Dazki: What do you want to do? Eyesore: ...I never thought about it. Maybe I could go enslave my own people! Instead of bein' a number two, I could be a number one! Marvin: Now, enslaving is bad. Eyesore: No! Because, they're helping me, and you should help the people stronger than you, 'cause it'll, like, trickle down! Marvin: That's called a pyramid scheme. Eyesore: I like pyramids! Marvin: An upside-down pyramid, then. Which is bad, because it's the opposite. So, we don't enslave people. You just thought, for the first time, about what you want to do. That's freedom! You don't take freedom away from people. It makes you sad when you don't have freedom, right? Now that you've had it?Dwardazik has finished his booze and walks back over to rejoin the conversation.
Eyesore: Well, just... let me go do it, then. Marvin: Not if it means taking away other people's freedom. Eyesore: Can I do what I want to do? Or do I have to do what you want me to do? You have to pick one, because I can't do both things. That's impossible. Marvin: They're not mutually exclusive... Eyesore: No, they're definitely mu... mut... (He rubs his forehead in frustration)... you can't have it both ways! Marvin: So you want to enslave people? Eyesore: Just tossin' around ideas! Grogery: I don't think enslaving people is a good idea. Kesmet: Tell ya what. You can pick what you want to do, but then you have to run it by us. Because we're your Thing-Doer Approver Committee. And you gotta run things by your Thing-Doer Approver Committee, 'cause otherwise how do you know whether or not it's a good thing to do? I mean, you've never done stuff before, you don't really have experience with the situation! So, just run it by us. Your Thing-Doer Approver Committee. Eyesore: OK. OK? OK. Kesmet: That way, you get to pick, and we get to say yes or no. (Marvin throws his hands up in the air and walks away.) Eyesore: OK. First things first, I think I should... escape my bonds and run into the wilderness? Dwardazik: Now, that is smart! Kesmet: OK. No, that's a bad idea. Grogery: Yeah, there's no food out here. Dwardazik: Oh, right! You should eat first, and then run! (Dwardazik gives the gnoll a wink.) Eyesore: OK, I escape my bonds, — Dwardazik: No, ask to be let out of your bonds. Eyesore: — I take a bunch of food from the caravan, — Dwardazik: No, you don't take, you ask. Eyesore: — and escape into the wilderness? Dwardazik: That happens after, yes. Eyesore: OK! This plan sounds good. Dwardazik: You know, I think we're getting on the same wavelength! Dazki: You know, Dwardazik, really not helpful right now. Dwardazik, patting Eyesore on the back: You know what? Let's cook you up some food! It'll be great! Hey, does anyone have any food over here? I'm starving after that run! Dazki: You know what, I'm just done. I'm done with this. Done with it. Just... whatever. Marvin: Man, you'd think he'd wise up and see that we're the strong ones. Dwardazik: Any food in that caravan? Let's cook it up!Dwardazik shows Eyesore his travel rations and offers him some. Eyesore accepts, so the dwarf takes out two and gives them to the gnoll.
Dwardazik: Sorry, my gnollish friend, that we don't have time to make you a delicious meal fit for a noble! All I've got are these two rations, so... eat on up! (Dwardazik looks at the rest of the party.) Dwardazik: The rest of the plan is that he runs away, right? Well, I'm not gonna enslave him! Dazki: At this point, I just don't care. Dwardazik, playfully: You hear that, Eyesore? Get on outta here, you good ol' goof! Marvin: Just remember. You don't enslave people. Eyesore: OK, but neither do you. Besides, the next time I get in trouble, you're just gonna rescue me again. You've done it so many times, now. Dwardazik: We're basically pals! We are inseparable, Eyesore! Marvin: Oh yeah, we'll help you out... unless you hurt people. Eyesore: Nope, that doesn't seem to ever matter! Good bye! (Exit Eyesore.) Dwardazik, calling after him: See ya, Eyesore! Have a good one! Marvin: Oh, he's in for a surprise if we catch him hurting people. Dazki: The "surprise" is, he makes it out alive again. He's... kinda right. Dwardazik, calling out again: Bye, Eyesore! I'll miss you!
Dr. Perry gave permission to stay at W.E.I.R.D. headquarters. She asks for the compass back, which Dazki gives in exchange for getting their hummingbird back.
Dazki: Thank you, I appreciate it. And thank you for allowing us the use of your... finger... compass. Perry: I mean, it's creepy but effective, right? Dazki: Yeah — and, I suppose, "effective" is the part that matters. Perry: OK. Well, I guess this is where we part ways... Dazki: I actually have one last question for you. Perry: Oh? Sure. Dazki: The plan that we mentioned before is still what we are going to be pursuing. Is there a message that you would like me to deliver? Perry: ...is this a joke? Dazki: No. Perry: Because I don't like being the butt of a joke. Dazki: We are still intending to go find the elder Doctor Perry. Perry: Well, if you do find him... I don't know. I haven't really thought of it. He was never really home much, anyway. Dazki: At the very least, I'll tell him that he missed out on helping raise a wonderful daughter. Perry: ...this whole thing has gotten weird. You've made it weird now. And that's coming from me. Dazki: Sorry, trying to be friendly. And so that I don't make it any more weird, I bid you farewell!They start making their way back.
Marvin: Man, Dazki, you blew that shit. Dazki: I was really just trying to be nice.The travel over to W.E.I.R.D.'s headquarters is uneventful: slow-going through a thorny section, but since they know exactly where they're going this time, the party easily makes it there before nightfall.
Back at W.E.I.R.D. HQ
Richter is the only one here, guarding the place.Dwardazik: How ya doin', lad? It's been a trying couple of days. I was wondering if you could actually patch up some of my armor for me? Richter, taking his shirt off: I can totally do that! Dwardazik: Thanks, I appreciate it. (He twists his body around, showing off his impressive strength as he does.) I got some pretty heavy damage to it over here... Richter: So, how's the rest of the troupe holding up without good ol' Richter Earthscale? Dazki: They, admittedly, had a little bit of trouble without you! Richter: Knew it! I'm the glue that holds this family together. Good ol' Richter Earthscale! Dazki: They ran into that Beholder that I was trying to warn you guys about. Richter: Oh... oh, yeah! I knew of the Beholder! (He gives a dodgy glance to the side.) Dazki: ...but, with a little bit of help from us, they managed to get out of that scrape. So, everything should be good now. Smooth sailing. Richter: Smooth sailing! It's getting late, and you should probably stay here, instead of camping in the wilderness. Dazki: We would certainly appreciate that, wouldn't we... hey, Barry, you have something to say to Richter? Barry: Uh... uh... (Barry looks into his book to see if there's anything in there. As always, his book just has random words in it.) Dazki: Didn't you need to apologize for how poorly you treated this fine gentleman? Barry, whispering to Dazki: Um... ... ... can you say it? You're better at words, and he's really big and strong. Dazki: Yeah, but I'm not the one who mistreated him. You are. So you're the one who needs to apologize. Barry: OK, I have a plan... Dwardazik: Does it involve saying "I'm sorry for being an ass"? Barry: I'll whisper in your ear what you have to say to apologize to him, but you have to do it! Dazki: No. You'll have to take responsibility for your actions. Dwardazik, poking Richter: Hey, uh... we're trying to get Barry to, you know, stop being an ass. Could you, maybe, play the part a little bit? Richter: You're trying to get him to stop being an ass? Dazki: We're trying. It doesn't really seem to be working very well. Marvin: I think this'll work! (Marvin casts Command on Barry:) APOLOGIZE. (Barry apologizes.) Dazki, immediately turning towards Marvin: The fuck are you doing?! Marvin: Just speeding up the process! You're trying to do the same damn thing, just without magic. What's the difference? Dazki: The difference is, without magic, he actually has a goddamn choice! Marvin: He doesn't know that, he thinks it's his own choice!. Dazki: That makes it worse! Dwardazik: I'm gonna have to agree with Dazki on this one, lad, that's pretty fucked up. Marvin: I disagree. Dwardazik: I didn't give a shit when it was Eyesore, but we ain't doin' this to people who are equal members of the party. Dazki: You're taking away his free will! How is that any better than the tyrants you despise? How is it any better than what Jim was doing, huh? How is it ANY better? Marvin: Well, Barry was being annoying! Dazki: So what?! SO WHAT if he's being annoying?! Dwardazik: Of course he's being annoying! He's a racist ass! We're trying to get him to apologize! Grogery: He's not going to be any better if you do it for him. Richter: He was probably just going to lie about it anyway. Dwardazik: See, even Richter knows! Dazki: You know, yes, he probably was. But, it could still be a first step on the path towards actually learning and becoming better. Richter: Well, weird human/elf/fish person, I will still accept your apology, even if you don't think I deserve it! See? We're all good here, now! Dwardazik: Thanks, Rick — Richter: He's still sleeping upstairs, though. Because I do not like him. Dazki: That's fine, you have every right not to like him. He has said and done some very inappropriate things. Marvin, you crossed a line. Dwardazik: Don't do that again, Marvin. That kind of stuff doesn't sit right with me. Grogery: It's one thing if we're in the middle of defending ourselves or others from danger, but, like... listen, Pelor gave me these powers for a reason. Whatever powers gave you the talent to do this, they gave it to you for a reason. Those talents are best used on actually good, exciting combat, and stories. Not just solving an annoyance. Dazki, poking Marvin in the chest: Doing this makes you a slaver. If you're happy with that, then so be it. Marvin: I won't apologize for not putting up with racism. The lesson that I'm teaching Barry here is that shit like this will not be tolerated. Dazki: All right... I understand where you're coming from. And you're right, Barry was absolutely acting inappropriately. And it should not be tolerated. Barry: And if that lizard man gets near my marks again, I'm gonna slit his throat while he sleeps! (Marvin stares down Barry.) (Dazki turns his angry glance to Barry.) Grogery: Barry... Richter: I told you! This guy's a menace! Dazki: Barry, that is entirely inappropriate. Dwardazik: ...hmmm... Dazki: ...but Marvin, two wrongs don't make a right. (Marvin just folds his arms.) Dazki: Barry, come with me.Dazki takes Barry into another room. To the others, it sounds like Dazki's really laying into him, as he switches between Elven and Common (normally, it's hard to sound angry in Elven, but somehow Dazki sounds even angrier when he does).
Dwardazik: If Dazki can't handle this, I'll bring him around back and teach him, in a language that he won't forget. ... ... ... that language involves my fists.Inside the room, Dazki gets the sense that Barry isn't actually entirely sure why he doesn't like Richter.
Dazki: OK, fine, you don't understand these feelings. OK. But you need to recognize when you have them, and recognize that they are bad, and you need to work against that. Everybody thinks bad thoughts every once in a while. You need to not act upon those thoughts, and realize that what you're doing is not right. That what you're thinking is not right. Barry: But no, it's... we need to find... it's more information! Dazki: How is calling him racist slurs more — Barry: Nononononono! No! Not about all that bad stuff! Like, we learn more about me, right? Dazki: Uh... yes. We learned more about you — well, about the person that you used to be. Barry: ...and, you still want me to go back to bein' that guy? Dazki, with a heavy sigh: I'm hoping that you can still learn from these experiences and go back to having that body, but being a better person. Barry: ...I don't know. Maybe he's not a bad guy, but maybe he reminds me of a bad guy, you know? Dazki: If that were the case, then you wouldn't have bad feelings about dragonborn in general. It would just be him, specifically. And the things you've said do not imply that your feelings about dragonborn in general are... neutral or positive. Barry: Well, then, who's right? Maybe a bunch of dragonborn did a bunch of bad stuff to past Barry. Dazki: Maybe they did. But, a bunch of elves may have done a bunch of stuff to past Barry too. A bunch of humans may have. Does that make all humans bad? Does that make you think that all humans do bad things? Barry: I don't think all humans do bad things. Dazki: And not all dragonborn do bad things either. Barry: Yeah, like, logically I get it, but just whenever I think about it, even a little bit, it makes me mad! Dazki: All right, well, you need to recognize that it makes you mad, and that that anger will lead you towards bad decisions and saying things that are impolite and not true. And you need to recognize this and actively try not to do them. It's all a part of waking up every day and trying to be a better person. A more fair, more just, more equal person. Barry: So hard... Dazki: It is hard. It is hard. But it's worth it in the end to try, every day, to be better.
Long Rest
First Watch: Dwardazik
Richter is by the forge, his orange-red scales glistening in its light. His muscles ripple as he finishes up the armor repair, just smoothing out a few kinks in it. It's done, and he returns it to Dwardazik. Dwardazik thanks him with a strong handshake, making sure to emphasize his own muscles as he does so. The handshake is met with, of course, a very firm grip of Richter's own. This sets off a bit of a contest, but the dwarf is taken off-guard by Richter's... everything. Otherwise, nothing of note happens. He wakes Marvin.Second Watch: Marvin
Marvin just quietly practices on his mandolin the whole time, quietly enough that it definitely won't wake anyone. Otherwise, nothing of note happens. He wakes Dazki.Dazki: Hey look, Marvin? Marvin: Yeah? Dazki: I, uh... overreacted. I owe you an apology. I understand what you're trying to do with Barry. I just don't believe that removing people's free will is the right way to go about solving that problem. Marvin: I know where you're coming from. I agree that it might have been a little far to compare me to, say, ol' Jim — it's a bit of a stretch, but I can see the angle there. I won't be as trigger-happy with that sort of thing. Dazki: Yeah, I... like I said, I'm sorry. This has been a lot of stress, and I've been overreacting a lot lately. You just ended up on the wrong end of that for no reason other than my own personal stress. Marvin: Water under the bridge. It's just my luck, anyway. Dazki: I dunno, you seem to have been pretty good luck so far! We all got out of this alive. As far as I'm concerned, you're doing pretty well. Marvin: Thanks! And, uh, I don't know if we have a de facto leader or what not, but I think you make a pretty good one. Dazki: Thank you. Get some rest, I'll keep an eye out.
Third Watch: Dazki
Dazki takes out The Book of the Mirage and focuses intently on reading it. Otherwise, nothing of note happens. He wakes Grogery.Grogery: Anything interesting yet? Dazki: Quiet night.
Final Watch: Dazki and Grogery
With Grogery around for the actual "watch" part of the watch, Dazki decides to head down to Dr. Perry's library, searching through and looking for references, anything that he can use to help make sense of this chapter. She has been taking notes on the book — even though she hasn't gotten to this chapter yet, seeing a different person's fresh perspective on the other parts of the book gives him the advantage that he needs to finally, fully, comprehend this one.Travel, Day 1
Marvin: You took kind-of a beating, there, Dwardazik. You all right? Dwardazik: Well, it's no different from a usual day. I wake up, feel OK, end up fighting something that wants to turn me into death and decay, get healed by Grogery, and then I'm on my way. Pretty simple, really. Well, if you all guys don't mind, I think it's time for some decent-ass food!Dwardazik goes downstairs and cooks some food for everyone. He calls them over, and they share a meal.
Dwardazik: I gotta tell ya, having something hot like this is so much better than having travel rations. Gotta love that salted pork. So, what are we doin' today, anyway? What's the plan? Dazki: Heading back to Ashport. Towards the road, so we'll make better time. Dwardazik: That does seem like it's probably the best course of action. Just to the west, follow the road down to Ashport, shouldn't be an issue? Dazki: Fingers crossed... Dwardazik: Better not tempt fate, here... Marvin: God, what is it, like five days? Grogery: OK, by the way — full disclosure here, because it's a potential safety issue, I guess — either there's still something going on with the Bewilderburr, or Baxton's playing a trick on me, but either way, Sending is not 100% working. Marvin: ...what?! Grogery: Yeah. Dazki: Oh. All right. Grogery: I've been Sending to different people all night, and it's hit-or-miss, I think. I need more data to figure it out, but... Dwardazik: That's not good. Grogery: No. Dazki: On a tangentially related note...Dazki shares the message that he intends to send to Annu today:
As your outside advisors, we advise you to take more consideration of living beings. Those in positions like yours need public support in order to continue being effective. To do that, the sympathy of the people is needed. Empathy for the general population, feigned or genuine, is a good way to get that. A few days from Ashport. Will message as we get closer. Permission to track granted, didn't think you needed to ask to do that.They take a moment to think through this, as it's quite a different tone than most other reports.
Grogery: At least feign empathy, it is better to be loved than feared... Dwardazik: I agree. For what he is, that's probably the best he can do. Dazki: With what he said about people being potential "biohazards" and, you know, "elimination" of them, that doesn't really lend a whole lot to his not being feared. Grogery: He did cast fireball in a crowded square, just to make enough of a racket for us to climb out of the back of his carriage without getting spotted. Marvin: You don't say! Grogery: It was more convoluted than that, there were a bunch of protestors trying to stop his carriage, but his response was still very much out of line. Marvin: ...and, uh... Grogery: You can see why Baxton was able to manipulate us into thinking that Annu was the enemy, here. Marvin: Are you sure he was wrong?! Grogery: Didn't say he was wrong. I just said that Baxton was able to make a case for, "Annu is the bad guy, ergo I must be the good guy. Here, trust me, steal this Turmoil out of the back of a caravan." Dwardazik: Let's not tell the whole countryside... Grogery: We're out in the middle of nowhere. Well, actually, the middle of W.E.I.R.D., but — Dazki: Plus, we've already been pardoned for it. Dwardazik: I know, I know, just sayin'... tryin' to put those days behind me. Dazki: Fair enough. If everyone is OK with that, then that will be our message to Annu for the day. Marvin: You know what, fuck it. I'm all about this no-accountability lifestyle. Holy shit, let's piss off this guy! Grogery: The fact that he's several days away is kind-of a bonus. Dazki: I don't think he can be angry, anyway. Marvin: You think he's physically incapable of being angry? Grogery: His situation is weird. He's displayed some idiosyncrasies of his own, but he's largely just this construct working for the state. Marvin: I dunno, casting a fireball into a random group of people sounds like something only an angry... invincible... crazy person would do. Grogery: Or someone who's so mechanical of mind that they don't comprehend why it's a bad idea. Dazki: He is very much like an automaton. It is within his programming to do that, and it is the most efficient means to clear the way, so that's what he did. It is awful. Marvin: I'm willing to bet you're probably not gonna change his mind, but fuck it. Grogery: If anybody can change his mind, it's probably us, actually. Dazki: I'm not necessarily trying to change his mind, just have him look at it as a perspective of, "oh, I can do my job more effectively, if the people support me, and there will not be someone trying to usurp me again, so maybe I should do these things that make people like me, so that I can continue to be effective in the future". Even if it's just out of pure self-interest, if he's not behaving in a way that risks other people, that's still a benefit. Marvin: Yeah, just don't tell him that he's gotta do it all over again when he becomes the next generation.Dazki sends the message. Annu's reply:
I will consider living entities in accordance with the laws we are bound to. I will not mislead others into believing that I view things incorrectly, as incorrect information is more hazardous than dodging difficult thoughts or decisions for the sake of empathetic or endearing subplots. As a government official, I will follow the letter of the law first. And as an archivist, I will not misrepresent any thought or information, no matter how you feel about it.
Grogery: So, Marvin? We've been traveling together, been through some scraps together, I feel comfortable to ask you about this, but... what's the deal with the mandolin? Marvin: I told you guys, I bought it off a street vendor. Grogery: ...OK... uh, that mandolin happens to look very similar to something that Baxton owned. Marvin: Oh? Grogery: ...hence, did not want to bring this up before, uncertain that we could trust you, but... Marvin: OK, so, he personally owned this? This was his? Grogery: Well, he gave it to one of his underlings, but that underling couldn't have bought it on their own. Marvin: And... what happened to this underling? Grogery: Exploded. Marvin: ... ...Kesmet, — Grogery: No, it exploded under its own power. Marvin: ..."it"? Grogery: You know those ragmen? Marvin: Oh. Oh, simulacra? Grogery: Yeah. Marvin: Oh. Well, what happened to... if it blew up, then wouldn't the mandolin have blown up? Grogery: Yeah. Hence, "what's the deal with the mandolin?". Marvin: That's... really strange. Dwardazik: I hadn't even noticed. Marvin: I want to have a word with that street vendor, if I can ever find him again. Grogery: Is it magical? Marvin: Like animal companionship? Grogery: Or, like, Dwardazik has a magic axe. Er... magic hammer. He had a magic axe. We had to take away the magic axe. Marvin: It can do very basic things, like animal companionship sort of stuff. Grogery: OK. Dazki: So its magical properties might explain why it survived. Grogery: Magical items tend to be built tougher. Marvin: If that's really the case, then... the vendor really didn't fuckin' know what he had. I knew I got a good deal after I felt what was inside of it, but... now I think I got an even better deal! Dazki: Yeah, sorry, that's part of the reason why I was not exactly trusting when we first met. Marvin: I get that! I see that now, yeah! I can totally get that! ...that's... that's kinda fucked. I don't like knowing the history of this thing, now. Grogery: Hey, it has a story behind it! Marvin: And maybe I'll write a song about that story. Dwardazik: Well. Guess we're on another trip!Grogery creates food and water for the journey, and they assume their positions in the caravan. Dazki lends Dwardazik his Bloodspine bow to use while protecting the caravan, pulling out his gun instead.
Marvin: Man, I gotta find someone to fix my broken gun at some point. Dazki: Oh! I can do that for you, next time we take a rest. My tools are in the back of the cart.They continue towards the road and, ultimately, to Ashport.
Marvin: So, Kesmet, do you remember where we were? Just before all this? Kesmet, jokingly: ...who are you? Marvin: Yeah, it kinda sucks that you chose not to take it. Kesmet: Wait, aren't we going the wrong way? Marvin: No, we're done. Kesmet: The hell do you mean "we're done"?! Marvin: ...this is gonna be a loooooong trip. Kesmet: Did we find anything out about Dennis? Dazki: A little bit, yes. Kesmet: Waaaaaait. So, I don't remember shit. Turmoil memory bullshit? Dazki: Yeah, there was the memory bullshit at the town we had to go visit. Kesmet: What town? Dazki: A place called Overlook. There were a bunch of undead and necromancers and stuff there. Kesmet: Oh my. And Dennis was not there? Dazki: No, he was not. Kesmet: Oh. Fuck it. Dazki: We did learn about how his father's death was orchestrated a little bit, and stuff like that. Kesmet: That's... weirdly specific. Why was this information just randomly out in the middle of nowhere, here? Dazki: Y'know, that's actually a good question. Somebody that was a member of The Hounds Guild who had left, and then ended up in that city, was captured by Vicra. During the rescue process, I overheard him talking with someone about it. Kesmet: ...OK... Marvin: Yeah, so he was out there. Kesmet: Did we do cool things? Marvin: You, in particular! Dwardazik: You were very instrumental. Kesmet: So. How long were we in the thing, and why am I the only person who doesn't remember? Dazki: About a week, and — Kesmet: A WEEK?! Dazki: Yeah, give or take. And the reason you can't remember is, there was an antidote that would allow us to keep our memories. We only had four doses of it, and you said you didn't learn anything about Dennis that you thought was particularly useful, and you wanted to forget all the horrible flesh-melting and — Kesmet: ...flesh-what-now?! Dazki: — flesh-melting and human experiment shit that Vicra did. Kesmet: Oh my god, that sounds outright heinous! Dazki: It was. Kesmet: But you said that things were taken care of, right? Marvin: Yeah, you did the coolest shit, Kesmet. Dazki: He's dead, you were the one that killed him. Dwardazik: It's true. Hate to say it, but we couldn't've survived without you, Kesmet. Kesmet: Uh-huh... right... Dazki: Marvin was actually pretty jealous that you were the one who got to do it. Marvin: Yeah! You got my sloppy seconds after I killed him the first time! Kesmet: But he's, like... dead-dead, right? He didn't just, like, whisk away into mist again? Grogery: He got eaten by the Turmoil. Kesmet: He... what?! The party tries to explain what had happened. Marvin: Wait, does Baxton remember what happened? Grogery: Yes, but... I'm currently trying to talk with him about this thing going on with my Sending. Marvin: He's actually interested? Dwardazik: His perspective can be useful, but frankly, his usefulness is limited. Dazki: That's a good way of putting it. Marvin: So, wait, why don't you just hand him over to Annu? Grogery: Like we said, his perspective is useful on things, and Annu's reaction to "oh, Baxton's soul is inside of this?" would be to destroy it with extreme prejudice. Dazki: I think that's probably an empty threat. Annu can't do shit with souls. Grogery: That's right. He would hand it off to someone. ...who would destroy it with extreme prejudice. Dazki: ...yeah. Kesmet: He can't violate the First Law. Grogery: Interesting though it may be, I have hope that there can be a redemption for Baxton, at least partially. Just because he has made very bad decisions in the past does not mean that he cannot make good ones now. Kesmet: OK, but it doesn't seem like he's making good ones? He just keeps on screaming when I try to tell him about my book. Grogery: I'm... working on him. Dazki: Actually, that brings up a good point. I don't think any of these people started off — for lack of a better word — evil. That's why I think I'm so worried about Turmoil. Because I think you start off using it with the best of intentions, but then it will slowly worm its way into your head in a way such that your choices are, maybe, not your own anymore. Manipulates you very subtly. Dwardazik: I definitely agree with that. That bastard fooled us once before, he's been trying to do it nonstop. Dazki: And he started out, just like Vicra, trying to save or recover someone that he loved. And I think, slowly he got more and more desperate, and the Turmoil kept saying "hey, try this, you can protect people", or, "hey, try that, you can get what you want". It got slowly more heinous until, before you know it, Vicra was performing surgery on live captives. Grogery: Ah, "the sacrifice you made two days ago was possibly worth it, and you don't want any of those results to be in vain, so you have to go just a little bit farther next time". Kesmet: Sunk cost. Grogery: It's not logical, but Turmoil isn't either. Dazki: Certainly not logical, but it is emotional. And the best way to manipulate people is through their emotions.Midday. It is getting incredibly hot. It seems like the weather is going to be a heat wave. Water consumption will definitely increase. One entity not taking the heat very well is Barry. In the heat, he is becoming visibly exhausted, though he tries to put on a brave face.
Dwardazik, noticing Barry and passing him a tankard full of water: Hey, go ahead and drink as much water as you want. Grogery can make that quite easily. Just don't go sittin' in it, all right? Barry pours the water on his face. Dazki: Hey, Kesmet? Kesmet: Yes? ...I cannot make water. Dazki: No, can you use your magic to cool things down? To remove heat? Kesmet: I can give it a try.Kesmet chills a few gallons of water, which they use to help keep Barry (the fish person) from overheating and drying up. It seems to work well enough for the day. Once they make it as far as they can go, they set up camp for the night.
Dwardazik: Hey, Kesmet, you got any of your spices? Kesmet: In fact, I do! Dwardazik: Excellent. I'm gonna try to cook up a nice little meal, so we don't have to eat something so shitty. ...nothing against your food, little lad, but, you know, sometimes the palette can use something a little bit better than a snack of the bread. Wake up big and strong, eh? (He goes out to snatch up some dire locusts, some herbs, and what not, and cooks it all up into a hearty stew.) Dwardazik: Look, if it's one thing that I know, when traveling in this shitty weather, is that I want something nice to eat before I go to bed! Dazki: Well, I appreciate it. Thank you. Dwardazik, handing Bloodspine to Dazki: Oh, and here's your bow back. Dazki: We'll get you a bow that might not be quite as... disconcerting... when we get back into town. Would probably be a good idea. Dwardazik, chuckling: You know, if you would've shown me something like that, back before I even came to Ashport, I probably woulda said you were a mad, crazy bastard! But, you know, that's really the least of my concerns now, holding a severed spine for a bow! Dazki: Well, you're also not wrong. Dwardazik: I've seen what that thing can do, it's a mighty powerful weapon! Though I didn't really feel any kind of enhancement when I was using it. Dazki: No, it's one of those where you have to be attuned to it before you can pull out a bunch of your blood and shoot it through the bow. Dwardazik: I was about to say, I didn't know if that was just some crazy-ass elf magic or if it was from the bow. Dazki: Definitely something from the bow.
Travel, Night 1
First Watch: Dwardazik
Nothing of note happens during this watch. Dwardazik wakes up Marvin.Second Watch: Marvin
Nothing of note happens during this watch. Marvin wakes up Dazki.Third Watch: Dazki
Not all of the smoke you're smelling is from the campfire. Some of it is coming from the grassland to the south. There might be a forest fire coming. Nothing else of note happens during this watch. Dazki wakes up Grogery.Dazki: Hey, we definitely need to keep an eye on the south. There may be a fire coming our way. Smells like it's a bit far off for now. Grogery: I'll make sure I have a good spell prepared for that in the morning. Dazki: Be ready to pack everything up. I'm going to start breaking camp right now.
Final Watch: Grogery
As Grogery keeps watch, Dazki walks around and packs up practically everything in camp except for the sleeping bags that have people in them. Nothing else of note happens during this watch. Grogery wakes up the rest of the party, and everyone sees that the camp is all but packed up.Travel, Day 2
The fire has gotten much closer, now. Some of the smoke is even visible in the distance.Marvin: Hey, hey! What's goin' on? Where's the fire? What's the rush? Dazki: It's a little bit to the southeast of us. Marvin: Wait, what?! Dwardazik: Huh?! Dazki: Yeah. Marvin: Kesmet, what did you do?! Dazki: It's not here yet, but we need to get moving pretty quick. And it wasn't Kesmet. Kesmet: Yeah! It wasn't me! ...I think! Marvin: Well, you don't need to tell me twice! Dazki: I think we should travel at a fast pace today.The party agrees, and they head off, sticking to the road. Traveling at a fast pace, visibility is worse. Somewhere by the campground, however, in the smoke, approaching you along the road is a large elephantine creature. It's hard to tell what's going on with it in the smoke, but it carries a large, dome-shaped cart on its back.
Dwardazik: We should probably yield. Dazki: Yeah.They move off the road to allow it to pass, but it does not pass. As it approaches, you can see it more clearly: it's an actual cart, on the top of this large elephant's back. The metal wheels are aloft, turning loosely in the wind. The cart itself is a hoardlike amalgam of... stuff. Items attached haphazardly with cloths and nets and ropes and things like that. Some of it dangling off the side of the cart, clanging together like a windchime. Once it notices you, the entire elephant disappears, and the cart slams to the ground on its wheels. Crawling out from under the cart is a small little human. An older man, he has safari / expedition attire and a little backpack of his own. He stands up, dusts off his shorts that are a little too short to be useful (but, they're comfy and easy to wear). The man is small, even for a human.
Beansly: Ahh, greetings, travelers! Dazki: Greetings! Sorry, there's a fire in that direction, heading this way pretty quickly! Not exactly a good time to stop! Dwardazik: State your name, lad, and I'll give you mine! Beansly: Oh, but quite surely, you've heard of me and my escapades! (He takes a bow, the hat almost falling off of his head as he does so.) I am Sir Edwinton Beansly, former explorer extraordinaire! Grogery: Why does that name sound familiar...? Dwardazik: The name's Dwardazik Stoneturner Boulderhearth. Pleasure to meet you. Do you have business with us, or just a chat? Beansly: Oh, I have business with everybody! You see, I have many goods that ache to go back to adventuring, but I am too old and feeble now to give them what they so desire! Grogery: ...you were just an elephant. Beansly: Ahh, yes, but an old and feeble elephant, you see! Kesmet: ...you were carrying the entire cart along with you. Dazki: As interesting and as nice as that is... ... ... wildfire. Beansly: I'm sure we have plenty of time for commerce before that fire burns everything around here to cinders! Dwardazik: Um... right. So, I actually have some items here. (Dwardazik approaches with the bag of Beholder eyes.) These arcane ingredients are freshly plucked from a Beholder! You're not going to get anything more precious than this. What's your offer? Beansly: Oh, I have no need for arcane things such as that, no! I have special, special trades, for special, special people such as yourselves! Dazki: Oh? Such as? Beansly: While my items long for adventure, I feel like others should be retired. A simple trade of wares would be quite beneficial to both of us! Beansly: ...besides, I'm more likely to misplace them anyway.This is an opportunity for the party to swap out some of their magic items for other, (hopefully) more useful ones. Beansly sets up his cart as a makeshift shop, and the party rummages through their bags to see what they can offer. Editor's note: lots of discussions, mostly about game mechanics of the items. I'm going to record the parts that are interesting story-wise, and then just dump a table with links to our World Anvil copies of the statblocks for the new things (not importing new statblocks for things being traded away that predate this wiki).
Grogery: Hmm, I've found this? It says on it, ...Dazki is about to offer the Boulder Charm, but as he starts describing what it does, Dwardazik expresses interest in it. Dazki gives it to him instead.Grogery: This was yours at some point, right? Beansly: Oh, yes! Many fun times, many fun times. I tend to lose a lot of equipment, but I tend to gain more. You'll notice that any item you get from me, ... I kind-of have to put my initials on, at least, just so I can remember, if it comes back to me. It will whisper me its sweet stories of where it's been! Good times.Swiss Army Wand
Wand
Uncommon
This wand has 7 charges, and regains 1d6+1 expended charges daily at dawn. You can expend 1 or more charges to cast one of the following spells from the wand:
- Create Bonfire (1 charge)
- Dancing Lights (1 charge)
- Mending (1 charge)
- Prestidigitation (1 charge)
- Alarm (2 charges)
Carved on the hilt, in glowing letters:
Property of Sir Edwinton Beansly
Weight: 1
Dazki: If everybody's OK with it, I'd like to trade the Ventilating Lungs? (No objections from the party.) Beansly: These appear to have been damaged? Dazki: Yes. Someone was trying to work on them, to make them even more effective. I don't know that they were able to finish it. Is that still a fair trade for you? Beansly: We can make it a fair trade. Perhaps if you can bring me a memento that has a story to tell? Marvin: I have something. (He pulls out what appears to be an icon of a tiny silver raven.) This was actually from a fallen adventurer. I've been cataloguing their stories for quite some time. They, unfortunately, did not make it. Have you ever heard of the Band of Silver Arrows? Beansly: I've heard a lot of combinations of things, it's really hard to keep track. Marvin: I'm sure you have. No, they were a group of archers. Vigilante types. This group of bandits that they were tracking down, kind-of did a reversal on them. Tracked them down instead. This was from a dear friend, died too early. Beansly: ...you seem fairly attached to it? I wouldn't want to cause you grief. Marvin: You asked for a story, didn't you? I'm full of stories. Beansly: Well, I'm not going to say no. Marvin: All right, then! That gets you the trade. Dazki: Thank you, Marvin, I appreciate it. Marvin: Sure thing.
Dwardazik: Do you have, by chance in that massive pile, any potions of force resistance? Beansly: I don't really deal in potions, and my stock kind-of changes all the time (magic items are pretty hard to come by). So, this is what I've got.
| This person... | Gave away their... | In exchange for... |
|---|---|---|
| Dwardazik | Chromatic Wand of Magic Missiles | Eagle Whistle |
| Dwardazik | +1 Light Crossbow | Insignia of Claws |
| Dazki | Ventilating Lungs (broken), plus Marvin's silver raven icon | Glamoured Studded Leather |
| Grogery | Bridle of Animal Capturing | Amulet of Proof against Detection and Location |
| Kesmet | Deck of Illusions | Rod of Retribution |
Dazki: OK! I think we are all set and ready to go, then. Thank you very much for the commerce, and... do be careful. There is, actually, a wildfire out in that direction. Beansly: I do believe you! I've seen many a fire in my day, though, and I ain't about to be scared by this one! Dazki: ...all right, well, we wish you the best of luck, then. And may many good deals come your way.Beansly closes up his shop, crawls underneath his cart, once again transforms into a giant elephant, and goes on his way, lumbering towards what you are pretty sure is a raging wildfire.
