Sarko's Party Pals

A questionably legal streaming show featuring a psychotic Undaunted and his Helyk Co-host

Written by Barron

What's up you freaks! Welcome to Sarko's Part- Whoa!   [A missile whistles by Sarko and his straight man Big Fish, annihilating a hover car parked behind them]   HEY! I said Intro, then Missiles! You Idiot! You fuckin' reject! You're dead to me, Zach!   Anyways! Welcome to Sarko's Party Pals! We had a grand ol' intro today about how to properly destroy hover vehicles, but now we'll just have to improvise for thirty damned minutes, Zach.
Sarko's Party Pals S23 E3
 

Overview

Sarko's Party Pals is a group described under many professions; Entertainers, Psychopaths, Superstars, Murderers, Educators, and Deviants. They are a questionably legal stream that occurs every week. They spend each week answering questions and putting on crazy and dangerous stunts that wow the masses that are allowed to view it. Death and destruction is commonplace on the stream, and Sarko's insane demeanor has been awarded the Most Addictive Personality award in Hedon. (Even though the stream is locked in The Apple of Hedonism.)  
NEXT QUESTION! SirFister13 asks: "Dear Sarko, I thonk there's an Ongleon under my bed? Sarko how do I deal? P.S Love you and Big so much!"   [Sarko visibly twitches and sucks in an over-exaggerated breath.]   Bitch, I survived an Ongleon! I showed you the fuckin' thing last year! If it's under your bed, you can guarantee it's already taken advantage of your fuckin' prison wallet and shoved enough spores up there to make you explode into a fleshy roman-ass-candle.   [Sarko catches his breath, turning visibly red.]   If you're serious you might as well just set your whole planet on fire right now! Also you "thonk?" Is Ubiq not your first language? Asking Sarko questions like this and you can't even get your words right? Fuck off! Thanks for the question though.   [Sarko finishes with a toothy grin at the Camera.]
Sarko's Party Pals S24 E14

Appeal

Sarko's insane rants and apparent phsychosis mixed with uncensored humor divides much of the populace. Many find him and Big Fish hilarious, understanding the act and involving themselves in the hiliarity by mailing in their most humorous questions and suggestions. Many others simply stare in horror at the vulgar and violent stream. Despite his harsh attitude, Sarko has shown himself to have a soft side. He constantly proclaims his love for his wife, hoping someday to have a child with her. He often times make missions out of stopping criminals in gruesome and amusing fashions. Some examples of his true neutrality come from his show.
  • He has saved people from a building he set on fire
  • He saved a luxury liner from pirates, but emptied the vaults on the way out.
  • He saved Perduro from a invasion of Haimarchy aggresors, but broke several wartime treaties doing so.

History

Sarko's Party Pals was started as a joke stream of the then Free Planet Federation soldier, Corporal Sarko and his barracks-mate, the Helyk "Big Fish."   They streamed their antics during a backwater skirmish against The Verin Haimarchy. Little did they know their footage of their gruesome battle would go viral. Their ability to make shots while also answering viewer questions brought millions of curious veiwers in from all over the war. They were however reprimanded after their commanding officer found out, as the stream was accessible by the Haimarchy. They were discharged and sent out, but their following continued to grow. They found other things to do; ranging from privateering to talk-shows.   Soon they became a constant feed across the universe, attracting guest stars and growing funds for more insane stunts. They branched out and grew, pulling off bigger and larger shows all while continuing to entertain the masses with antics many deemed tasteless but others found addictively hilarious.  
Alright, next up we got "Your Mom 69" who's got a real ripper: "Would you rather be a fuck toy for the Pact champion of Shalegkua for one minute or try to fuck a rabid Sazakraht?"
Sarko's Party Pals S4 E7
 

Controversy

Legality

Due to the violent and vulgar nature of the show, many banners have deemed Sarko's Party Pals a terrorist organization and banned the showing of their stream in their banners. The Church of The Somnolent, The Apple of Hedonism, and The Verin Haimarchy have all passed laws against the group. However there are plenty of dark Æthernet showings of the show that can be found for those dedicated fans.   All three banners have been the target of the gangs stunts, ranging from the Haimarchy's failing attempts to sabotage the Sarko Party Pals home planet, Perduro to the least profitable successful heist in history against the Somnancy.

Rumors

Many believe that Sarko's Party Pals can owe much of its success to funding by Artosen Khandea II (Digger). Rumors about this relationship between the show and the affluent Aen were not settled when Digger appeared on the show. Sarko only made matters worse when he confessed his love for Digger, and Digger despite the PR fallout joked about a secret affair with the Undaunted, much to Big Fish's discomfort.  
Digger, I'd let you take me right back behind the camera and put me into a fuck coma if my wife didn't threaten to rip me in half for even looking at you the wrong way.
— Sarko of Sarko's Party Pals S6 E28
Who's gonna tell her?
Digger guest starring on Sarko's Party Pals S6 E28

Related Myths Sarko's Raid of Somnolent Prison Moon
Type
Illicit, Other
Location
Perduro

Current Crew

Sarko

The Host of Sarko's Party Pals and the namesake of the Gang, Sarko is a ecentric Undaunted. His ability to switch between blinding rage and complete calm is one of the main attractors of the stream. He is known as an excellent marksman, and fantastic driver.   In his personal life, he is apparently married to another Undaunted, though the name of his lover has never been leaked. Though Sark hints that his wife watches the show, and frequently chews him out over the content when she is not laughing.  

Big Fish

Big Fish (Real Name: Nol-fish) is a Helyk who acts as Sarko's straight man. He is often caught in the laughter of Sarko's antics, and adds his own subtle nature to the show especially when combat is involved. Many times Sarko will pause what he is saying so the audience can witness an overcomplicated and brutal device that Big Fish has laid out for his enemies.   Big Fish is married with two kids, both of whom he tells to not watch the show, much to Sarko's teasing.  

Zach

The director of the show, Zach is a GearHeart who falls under the constant beration of Sarko and Big Fish. He is known as the brains behind the stunts, planning out the shows one at a time.   Despite the on show hate, Sarko has confessed his admiration for Zach's trustworthyness and intelligence.  
Many people ask me why I do the show. Honestly? I'm bored all the time, getting paid and loved to hang out with Sarko and create whacky deathtraps is quite the job, right?
— Big Fish
 

Famous Guests

Artosen Khandea II (Digger)

Artosen Khandea II has appeared multiple times on the show, participating in stunts and antics. There is a constant rumor that Digger is having a secret affair with Sarko, a rumor which both subjects like to embellish.
 

Psovod and Dravec

Only a one time appearance, Psovod and Dravec were pulled into the show during a skirmish with gang members on Cuidad Uno. Many have called for the return of the pair, audiences finding Dravec insanely amusing. Sarko rumored their return sometime in the future.
 

Dartesian Sesir’ri Tel Ionel

Dartesi has made several appearances on the show during segments in which cooking was a theme. The flamboyant personality of Dartesi fit well on the show. The insane and many times dangerous recipes Big Fish and Dartesi crafted caused an untold number of hospital visits among the general populace
Inspiration Mr Sark, APL Fisher and their show Respawn Inbox

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