Gurt Item in Astra Planeta | World Anvil
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Gurt

Smart Spacers Slurp Gurt™!

Thanks to Xander, who is just as culpable for this atrocity as I am.
Gurt™ is a brand of yogurt-adjacent probiotic food paste contained in flexible plastic tubes, produced by the NutriaMatic Company. The brand slogan is “Smart spacers slurp Gurt™!” ...which everyone knows is a load of slag. In actuality, just about everybody eats Gurt™ at some point or other –if only to experience for themselves just how unpalatable this food paste actually is.

Composition

Gurt™ is a semi-liquidized food paste, which is packaged in ten-by-two-centimeter biodegradable plastic tubing for ease of consumption (the main selling point). The exact composition of Gurt™ itself is a closely-guarded trade secret –as a matter of fact, there are multiple variants tailored to each species in the USSC, and all of them are equally underwhelming. According to official food safety and interstellar biosecurity documentation, it is technically classified as yogurt due to its primary components of water, various carbohydrates, and species-specific symbiotic gut-flora microbes. However, it is also packed with proteins and amino acids, somewhat compromising the taste. For all anyone knows, the stuff could actually be descended from GoGurt™, but it bears only the slightest family resemblance.

Uses

Gurt™ is supposedly "designed for optimal nutrition and functionality in deep space," which essentially translates to "it's the cheapest thing that will keep the space scurvy away." Gurt™ is not pleasant to eat, nor does it particularly taste good, but it's better than nothing and it can be eaten just as well in zero-g as it can under spin-gravity or thrust, so it is at least useful. The taste isn't even gross, it's just... disappointing.

Archive Data

Item type
Consumable, Food / Drink
Manufacturer
NutriaMatic Co.
Base price
1.50 CSC per individual unit
Dimensions
10 cm x 2 cm
Volume
125.66 mL
Mass
133 g
Invented
c. 12120 UME

Comments

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Dec 2, 2023 15:11 by Annie Stein

Yoghurt-adjacent is a horror story in and of itself.

Creator of Solaris -— Come Explore!
Dec 2, 2023 15:23 by Doug Marshall

It's yogurt, Jim, but not as we know it!

ASP | AV | OE | SPH | TMS | CDL | LOR | PR
Dec 2, 2023 20:02

I love this reference and seeing it in the wild   Boldly going forward, 'cause we can't find reverse...

Jan 26, 2024 05:10

Everyone knows that not all foods are meant to be delicious, just to keep you from starving to death, great job!

May you forever find your way on the journey you set out on and make yourself greater.
The Sagas world cover
Jan 26, 2024 22:42 by Doug Marshall

Haha, yeah, it'll keep you alive but you won't be happy about it. Thanks!

ASP | AV | OE | SPH | TMS | CDL | LOR | PR