Working Cats

DESIGNATION: A-83

THREAT LEVEL: PEPPERMINT

"Mew"
"You want to buy how much milk, sir?"

— Confused cashier

A-83 is a species of humanoid creatures that live regular human lives. They go about this as any average human would, integrating into human society across the globe by seamlessly learning and adopting human cultures and mannerisms. Or, so it would seem. In reality, every instance of A-83 is not a humanoid, rather, they are a kindle of kittens snuggly fit into an overcoat. Despite lacking both pants and a hat— something that under normal circumstances would clearly give away their disguise— they are almost always seen as normal humans.

Anomaly Description

Instances of A-83 appear to most as a regular human. Their features— from their face and hair, to their skin color and height— will always be those of someone wholly unremarkable. Witnesses will not even notice their lack of legwear, and accept them as normal. Their overcoats are similarly unremarkable, often ranging from tan to black in tone. Beneath these, 50-80 kittens clutch one another in various contorted positions in order to create the vague shape of a human— replete with arms, legs, and a single kitten acting as the head.
Somehow the kindle is able to stick together in this form for extended periods of time— in fact, no one has witnessed an instance of A-83 decoupling itself. Even without their overcoat, instances will attempt to maintain their human disguise. Their anomalous propeties were first discovered in 2005 after an ACF researcher saved an instance of A-83 who they thought was drowning— but was actually flailing in a 3-inch puddle. In their panic, the anomaly had managed to lose their overcoat— dispelling their disguise.

Just Like You

When in the human world, instances of A-83 work a variety of jobs— becoming porters, stockers, and janitors— and even taking managerial positions, and— in rare cases— even becoming CEOs.

"Mew."
"Sell all of our stock and invest in yarn? That plan sounds so crazy it may just work!"

— Board meeting

During the day, they will lay in the sun wherever they feel the need to— be it on a couch, or in the middle of a busy sidewalk. Somehow they are rarely disturbed while doing so, with passerby merely stepping around them, instead of shouting at them or becoming violent as one would expect. When hunger strikes, they will purchase milk from a nearby grocery store or restaurant— and will refuse anything else offered to them.

Anomaly Containment Procedures

All instances of A-83 must be kept in a smooth-walled cell— as any bars, vents, or other holes will allow them to easily escape. It is advised to supply them with yarn or cat toys in order to keep them occupied. Twice a day, they must be fed with a saucer of milk. If possible, remove the instance's overcoat before containment. This must be done in order to ensure that we do not accidentally imprison civilians.

"I told you, I'm not a bunch of kittens in an overcoat!"
"Hm. That's exactly what a bunch of kittens in an overcoat would say."

— An unfortunate mistake

Logs for A-83

Incident #83-3
Date: 2007/10/29
Location: Research station ███████
Personnel involved: █████ ████████████, referred to below as "P1"

Video log #83-3

-P1: Hey, Doc, you mind looking at this anomaly?
-A-83: Mew.
-P1: Great! Knew I could count on you, this one's pretty simple from what we've observed— it's a dog that teleports to an unknown location whenever it encounters a cat. Took us quite a while to catch, somehow.
-P1 places the container with A-████ in front of A-83.
-A-83 leans in towards the container.
-With a flash, A-████ disappears.
-P1: How?! That took 3 months to catch!
-P1 grapples with A-83, removing their overcoat enough in the process to dispell their disguise.
Note: This instance of A-83 was contained shortly after this incident.

-End Log-