Funny Bone Remover Item in Witch World | World Anvil

Funny Bone Remover

What has now come to be seen as a dark and terrible artifact was once a simple medical device, used by an ancient civilisation during their mummification process. It was designed to remove the internal organs of the deceased before embalming with great precision and minimal mess. It is a rather complicated looking clockwork device, with sharp rotating blades, razor edged scalpels and several clawed appendages of varying sizes. Other than the small thaumaturgy crystal which powered it, there was nothing magical about the device, although the secrets of its crafting are lost to time.   Bad pun guy, using yet more of the dark arts modified the device to suit a different purpose. They had heard of this strange thing called a funny bone, which the people of this age seemed to posses, and decided they needed to learn the secrets of this bone for themselves. Being a thousand year old mummy, no body seemed to find them funny any more, and they were desperate to discover the secrets of humour in this new modern age. Being a thousand year old mummy also meant they entirely misunderstood the concept of a funny bone, and took it a tad too literally.   The device once activated must fullfil its objective. Since the funny bone as an actual physical entity does not actually exist, the device simply extrapolated this to something slightly more tangible, and removes the persons sense of humour. This was somewhat skewed by the perception of the person who modified the device, who as earlier stated had completely misunderstood the concept of a funny bone. Also they were using the dark arts, those ones black as the void, and well they are known to be evil for a reason, and those reasons are often their own.   Those who have been on the receiving end of this terrible device, are never the same again. They spend the rest of their lives never getting jokes, unable to laugh at silly mishaps, and finding no joy in clowns (although this latter is not the reserve of only those who have had their sense of humour extracted).


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5 Aug, 2022 10:49

Ouch, this truly is a monstrous device! XD I love that it became this way due to a misunderstanding. The original purpose was already kinda creepy, but losing such an important part of one's personality sounds like a horrible fate.   Did the old mummy at least succeed in transplanting that sense of humour into themselves, or was it all in vain?

Creator of the Kaleidoscope System, an alien star system shaped by a colorful radiation source.   My pledge for WorldEmber 2022 turned Worlduary 2023
27 Aug, 2022 20:57

hehe. Thanks for reading. I'm thinking of making this part of an adventure, so I haven't decided an outcome yet.

6 Aug, 2022 01:35

Removing their sense of humor entirely. Lmao this is amazing. Talk about an extreme programming extrapolation and miscommunication. Truly horrid device but a truly great idea and article.

27 Aug, 2022 20:58

Thankyou! Yes it was a series of terrible mistakes, but that is what happens when you dabble with the dark arts

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E. Christopher Clark
13 Aug, 2022 13:08

This is a great concept. I'm left wondering if anyone has ever voluntarily subjected themselves to the Funny Bone Remover, someone who laughed at puns despite their hate of them for example.

27 Aug, 2022 20:59

Ooooo, that is an interesting idea. Since I'm thinking of making this part of an adventure, an NPC like that might be a cool twist. Thanks for reading

18 Aug, 2022 16:35

This article was far different than what I had expected but it is both humorous and terrifying. A rather interesting twist to how this object became what it currently is. I love it!

Co-creator of the fantasy worlds Isekai & Seireitei
Co-creator of the TTRPG System Storybook
27 Aug, 2022 21:00

Thankyou. I had a lot of fun with this one. glad you liked it.

25 Aug, 2022 20:52

Truly horrific and monstrous, written with such excellent humour! I love this, it's so well done :D The intro to the device's intended purpose, along with the mixup of trying to find an actual funny bone but removing something intangible instead, is excellent. Lovely mix of monstrousness and jokes :D

27 Aug, 2022 21:02

That feels like high praise indeed. Thank you, I really just tried to let my wacky side out a bit more this Summer camp, and I found I really enjoy this style of writing, so I am glad it seems to have worked.