The Kooky Croaker Bar Building / Landmark in Totania | World Anvil
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The Kooky Croaker Bar

The Kooky Croaker Bar is a bar in the Red Light District of the capital city of Draconian territory, Zephys. It is a seedy location where the strangest of people find themselves served by the most mysterious of employees.  

The Bar

The Red Light District of Zephys, which surrounds the Kooky Croaker Bar, is the shady underbelly of the largest city in the world. One can find all manner of scum and villainy in this place, and the very same people are the customers of the Kooky Croaker Bar.  


The name of the bar comes from the people the owner interacted with before moving to Zephys. The founder, Naurth, is a Lizardfolk woman who founded the bar in 774 after moving from the swamps of Udai. She claims to have been driven out by Anurans who wished to harm or kill her. The story has changed as time passes.   No one knows who these Anurans were. She likes to claim it was the Wretched Anurans who tried to sacrifice her to Reoma the Wretched. The biggest question that most people end up with, then, is how she managed to escape a cult that even the Anuran Commune couldn't defeat.  


Naurth is a Lizardfolk woman who appeared mysteriously in Zephys on a boat that came from the Abral Islands. She claimed to have fled to the Abrals and then from the Abrals to Zephys, but all the people on the boat said they never saw her get aboard.   She founded the bar in 774 and has stayed in Zephys ever since, only coming out at night when the Red Light District gets busy. She spends the daytime napping in the back of the bar, as she says of her sleep schedule:
Naurth by Jarhed
Founding Date
"Why wake for customers that won't come? I'll open my eyes when money's on the table."
— Naurth
No one knows how she has retained her youth and life after over a hundred years at the bar. She claims to have a special drink she makes that keeps her youthful, but none of her employees have ever seen this, and many Tamdian Alchemists come to the bar to seek out her secret to eternal youth to no avail.   Much of the draw the Kooky Croaker is its founder, owner, and bartender Naurth, who gives strange advice to those that come to her. Her advice is a riddle, one that gives no answers yet leaves no questions.  

The Structure


A brick structure soaked in beer and piss, the Kooky Croaker is a one-story building that is nestled within a small alleyway, which makes it a central location in the Red Light District, where being hidden is being seen clearly.   The outside of the building is covered in graffiti, as Naurth holds a contest for all local kids who do graffiti art up to age 18. She lets them make designs and allows people to vote on which mural should decorate the Kooky Croaker. Often they are images of silly frogs, though sometimes they are more beautiful pieces, other times grotesque depictions of horrible crimes.  


The floor of the building is a soft, crimson carpet that is constantly dirtied by all kinds of liquids, from spilt wine to spilt blood. Naurth sometimes cleans it, but often one can find she has missed a spot or three.   The bar is a thick mahogany wood with a laminate countertop behind it to make drinks. Carved into the bar are vague threats and warnings of a great evil, which Naurth laughs away as,
"My customers find sobriety to be the greatest evil of all, so I ward it away with drink and merriment. When you leave my care, you fall into evil's clutches, so drink another round! There's plenty to spare and time enough to revel."
— Naurth


The Kooky Croaker is a welcoming place where customers are assaulted upon entering. There is a bouncer who lets most people in, but he's just a test, as the real bouncer waits inside to pick on customers he finds to be easy pickings. Anyone who he perceives as weak or anyone he thinks might have information valuable for Naurth to know.   Patrons are asked to cut their palms when entering, to swear not to let Naurth's secrets out of the bar. To this day, no one even knows what secrets she asks them to hide, as none have found them. Some question if this is a curse of cutting their palms, if she is that good at hiding, or if she is lying about hiding anything. Still, anyone that does not cut their palms is not allowed in.  


The drinks served at the Kooky Croaker are said to be utterly delectable. Each is mixed with something special that even the bartenders are asked to not look into, and Naurth says of this:
"A secret is mighty delicious. What you don't know tastes far better than anything you could ever comprehend. Let my ingredients stay secret and enjoy their flavor. That's the way to love life... to never look further into it than is required of you."
— Naurth
g'Doobh by AnthraxSurprise

The Croaker

The thing that few look into of the Kooky Croaker is its newest employee, who was hired immediately on looks alone. An Anuran man who had moved to Zephys to attend the Magic College, g'Doobh was in search of money and thus took on two part-time jobs. His first was at the Silent Crumbs Cafe, and his second at the Kooky Croaker.   Naurth liked his spirit and was willing to take him in. She found that the boy was the Poison Mage and thus was an alchemist who was good at mixing. She made him the face of the bar, though he does like to keep to the shadows and not show his face. Naurth believes this to be because he's innocent and doesn't want to be caught up in the troubles of the Red Light District.   In truth, g'Doobh was sent by Grand Wizard Ardar Tilrak to spy on the place, as a hub of criminal activity, and learn its secrets. g'Doobh is meant to infiltrate the trust of Naurth and her employees and be a watchful eye on the crimes coming from the Red Light District.

Cover image: frog by cocoparisienne


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