Damp Temples

She tried to pass me the bottle I gave her, a strong Mhuzelti Spirit. Rich brandy, heavy, and oak with its sweetness. The dust on it fell in great sheets from its place behind the woodpile, giving it a well-aged impression. Granted it was actually a fifteen year old vintage, I was planning on having it with my boy. Before he left to start his career as a duelist in Huron, I had promised that bottle.

I suppose he wouldn't claim it, he made it more than clear he wanted nothing to do with me these days. That memory harsh in my mind, an open wound, scabbed and sun-baked, but never allowed to heal. Illy noticed that small change in my face. A good woman she was, a dear friend at this point, nothing really escaped her notice.

She asked what was bothering me, but I just couldn't. I couldn't bring myself to tell her again, that same story that haunted my mind. She rested her small hand in mine, her evergreen skin in start contrast to my tanned olive ones. She tried to offer me the bottle again, saying memories deserved to be shared for better or worse. It healed the soul to reach out and speak, no matter how softly.

I smiled at her but pressed it back into her hands more firmly. Never one to miss a hint, she got up and made her goodbyes with a tight hug around my neck. The door clicked into place as she walked back through the light snow to the village. I heard her and Cori speaking briefly, she had been working away at more of the pilings for the eventual wall that would go around the village. Two sets of footsteps began walking away, instantly felt more lonely than I had been just a moment before.

I don't know how long I had sat there, the fire in the hearth had burned low. The hurricane lantern on the night table had gone out, leaving the room dark and oppressive. It had been a while since I last visited a temple of my Wife's faith, but the nearest one was inside Glaion. Did I really want to risk tipping off The Gorgon and her informant network that I had entered the city again?

I needed out of this home, I needed to breathe, despite the fond memories that I had built with Ilgor and her family, the ones in my own head were louder. Grabbing my thick jacket and a cloak, I would just have to hope my longer beard and older face would hide me.

It was sometime later when I reached the City proper. The sun setting over the western mountains, Ilgor had told me their names at one point, but I wasn't interested in remembering right now. A Squad of Guards stood mingling in the crowd passing through the gates for the night, their livery and shoulder armor shining in the arc lights now ringing the City. Apparently a creation of The Forgemaster, The gnome had been spending years lighting the city with their electric lighting. Upgrading the waterworks and sewers, as well as most of the industrial sections of the Capitol.

The memory of when Salandrath found me the first time I entered the city swam through my mind, denied a future because of my past. Then again, the goblins had offered me a life I didn't think I'd have again, I suppose it wasn't so bad. "You work in strange ways, Azu." My breath came in a puff of steam, my prayer falling deaf on my own ears.

Someone put their hand on my shoulder as I passed under the Grand Archway. One of the Guards had stopped me, a stern look on his face. "A Calhipiti, long way from home aren't you?" I tried to keep my composure, I knew things were getting hot in the East, but I didn't think they would stop us from coming into the cities now.

"Home is a strange place these days." He laughed at that, his sternness melting away. "Am I still allowed in the city? I came to pay my respects to someone I haven't seen in many years."

"Of course, you are, the Pomerium does not stop us from allowing anyone who wishes to enter the city. You seem tired and cold, old man. here." He pulled a bottle from his coat and handed it to me. Like a siren's call to a lost sailor it called to me, I took it but had no intention of drinking it. Would only make things worse.

I returned his handshake and made my way toward where the temple was. I left the bottle behind a streetlight, a treat for whatever lucky soul found it. Still hurt to leave it behind, why was everyone so kind here? The streets were cleared of snow long before I had strolled down them, but I still hid behind every corner and doorway watching to see if anyone had followed me. Not wanting to repeat my previous journey into the city, I didn't need that again.

Eyes filled with wonder as I was finally able to see the works of The Forgemaster. Long had I heard the stories of their work, and what they were doing for Galus. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I had to wonder how the Caliphate could compete on this level, this was my first real experience of seeing a modern city. I had heard Huron and the Isle of Mhuzelt were undergoing the same treatments.

The Song of Bhal, the last I had seen it, was still lit with gas works and oil. Nowhere near as bright or beautiful as this city, the numerous murals and artworks that dotted every corner held my attention like nothing I could imagine. Lamenting at my denied ability to aid in its growth, I had wanted to work for Khamere to future their vision. But, like most things in my life, it didn't go as I planned.

The temple finally came into view, a medium-sized building compared to the others around it, its single spire reaching far into the sky with the symbol of The Raven donning its cap. I made my toward the still flowing fountains that ringed the temple, copper benches worn smooth and shiny in the lamp light that reflected off the water. I hid in the shadows just outside the light, waiting for a man to finish his prayers.

When he had finished, he billowed out his coat, brushing the light snowfall off himself. I waited still to make sure no one else had appeared, I took his seat. I watched my distorted reflection on the water's surface, clasping my hands together. My, how fitting it was that I couldn't see myself beyond a broken glimpse in the waves, fitting seeing the life I had lived.

"I miss you, Neaves. I wonder how you have been in the arms of The Raven? I hope you have had a pleasant rest." My breath, clouds around my head as I spoke. "It has been getting better these days, Darling. Illy and her family have been exceptionally kind to me. I didn't think I'd ever feel wanted again after our Son had left. I know I've talked about our last argument before that door slammed shut, but why does it never get easier, Neaves?"
I didn't notice the footsteps behind me or the soft whoosh of a long cloak dragging along the cobblestones. "I miss you. I am still trying to see the beauty of the world around me as you had. But, it gets hard when storms on the horizon seem to follow me everywhere I go. I know you would have told me that the grass grows brighter and greener after the rains, but how long does this storm need to last?"
I didn't notice that the footsteps had stopped just behind my bench, nor the soft chime of a staff clad in bells. I didn't notice the beautiful woman who had stopped to listen to me. "Illy has become a wonderful gift to me, Bhal be willing, I intend to keep her as a lifelong one. Well as long as I live anyway, I'm not ready to join you Darling, not yet. I think you would have liked her, smart as a whip she is. Clever and eager to learn, never had a better apprentice in my life. Barring those men you had brought into my care anyway, I wonder how they are as well."

My foot brushed against something beneath the bench, stooping I grabbed a bottle. It was a cheap bottle of wine, still corked, seal unbroken. The void around me grew loud, all I could focus on was that glass in my hand. I couldn't stand it, I wanted to drown out the noise in my head, these prayers weren't enough for me. Breaking the seal, I uncorked it.

Just before they met my lips, another hand stopped it before I could get my release. I started as I finally noticed the woman behind me, stopping me from taking my drink. She sat next to me, taking it from my hands, and setting it just out of my reach. "There's a message at the bottom of that bottle, one I don't think you want to know." She was scantily clad under her cloak, entirely unfit for this weather, but The Pendant of the Raven nested between her breasts told me all I needed to know.

A Priestess of Azu, one of high ranking evidenced by the staff. I stammered out, not prepared for this to happen. "Who are you?"

"Judging off your Darling's name being Neaves, I imagine shes from Huron. Isn't she?" She said sweetly.

"Yes, she was."

"Was. I see. I am sorry to hear that. Instead of drinking your sorrows away, pray tell me your sorrows. There is beauty in trauma, and even greater beauty to be had from healing from it. So, tell me Son, who is Illy?" She was kind, far kinder for taking that aberrant bottle from me. So I told her, for the first time in my life since losing her, I felt at peace telling someone of my life.

Was this her doing? Was this Neaves telling me from The Shores Beyond, that it was okay to move on? I think it is.