It is by the juice of caf beans that thoughts acquire speed.
The mouth acquires stains.
The stains become a warning.
KitKat the Mentat manages to alarm the entire residency of New Dendarii immediately after repairing the caf synthesizer in the most popular cafeteria.

Shut up about the "brown tap water"!
— Trixie Dixon to Jack Justice
It's a nearly species-universal stimulant,
much abused.

Caf, If it doesn't pick you up, slap you in the face and yell Soldier Get Yer Boots On! well then the synthesizer didn't brew it right. Any Caf is better than no Caf, though.

'Scuse me, honored citizen. I don't know what this stuff you just handed me is supposed to be.
I know it's not caf, though.
For one thing, it's yellow.
Did you maybe pour me a steaming mug of watered-down gonzo sauce?
Jedi Padawan VN Ysadora instigates a bar fight to provide Jedi Master Anakin Skywalker with concealment
It's so bitter
how can any civilized person drink this...I don't see its appeal.
Now tea,
It stimulates the mind, opens the senses and helps one to relax and focus.
Jedi Knight So'Zen Al Saba

caf by Jarissa
Item type
Consumable, Food / Drink

Here in the working person's upper echelons of the Tapani Ministry of Information we don't use synthesizers to manage our caf prep. Too many ways a food synth can be misprogrammed.

No, this is what a career-minded young Lieutenant should be doing instead:

  1. Set up a double-walled crystal pitcher rated for rapidly changing temperature extremes.
  3. Over that, place this ceramic filter-basket. You see it looks like a slice out of a cylinder, with the bottom just slightly slanted toward the holes in the center? Keep track of that slope. Make sure the basket sits stable atop the pitcher, no wobble, no offset.
  5. Insert this Class Five-A filtration disc in the bottom of the basket. It should cover but -- this is mission critical! -- absolutely not plug the base. If it seals in too tightly, you'll crack the filter-basket when it expands.
  7. Pour in about six millileters of hot, steaming, but not boiling water. Wiggle your hand around as you pour so you soak the whole filter.
  9. Good. Now, discard that water from the pitcher. Reassemble your basket-pitcher stack.
    Quickly, now.
  11. Pass ten grams of caf beans per waiting officer's mug through a burr grinder. That's this thing here, looks like a buzzdroid and a mouse droid had a baby.
  13. Drop the resulting powder directly on top of the damp filter in the filter-basket.
  15. With a steady hand, as if your Babushka was watching to decide who's going to inherit her corusca earrings, pour the hot water into the basket. Make slow spirals, from the outside inward and then from the inside outward again.
  17. Once the fluid stops trickling into the pitcher, gently shake the filter-basket to see if any more fluid sprinkles out. Then pop the filter and powder into the recycler. Set the ceramic filter-basket aside for sterilization.
  19. Now you can lid the pitcher if you need to transport to another room. On a tray, Lieutenant, we're not Corellians around here! We have dignity.
  21. No matter what, you transfer the contents of this pitcher into a proper carafe in no less than five standard minutes!

    Got that?
  23. You know you have a quality carafe when the liquid pour makes no sound, and looks like smooth glass.

Are you ready to pour?




Now, pour that crap straight down the disposal. And then go get me some Moogan spice tea. Extra cinnamon. If it comes back purple or black, your career ends on the spot. Get it right, though, and you'll do very well in this posting!


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