URGENT DIRECTIVE TO AD/FRA
KRHS # D/U-1
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ORDER BY:
Major Viktoria Ryvannen
Curatorium of the Star Tower
Office of Military Intelligence
Imperial Army
TO:
[REDACTED], callsign IRIS
Special Reconnaissance Section
Office of Military Intelligence
Imperial Army
Subject: Retrieval/Retribution
Origin: Director MAX AGGER, IBC # I/31
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Adjudicator,
This order is issued at the behest of the Director of the BUREAU OF CONTROL [IBC]. Hostile actors breached the BLACK LINE at NO-02 and stole a confidential ledger belonging to the IBC; the hostile actors are identified as pirates belonging to a vessel under the name of THE PITCHED WANKER. In line with 17 K.J.H. §§ 402, 1812, 2012, and 2041, the pirates of THE PITCHED WANKER are guilty of (1) several territorial infractions, (2) piracy, (3) espionage, and (4) grand conspiracy against the EMPIRE OF DRAECOVIA;* the ruling by K.H. JUDGE ADVOCATE-GENERAL'S CORPS is herein attached. Your objective is to retrieve the ledger and to uphold the PRIME DIRECTIVE. To this end, BROKEN ARROW RESPONSE is authorised against the pirates of the THE PITCHED WANKER. They are currently believed to be in the vicinity of FRANKONIA.
Respectfully,
Kuno Halthusen, Procurator
Special Reconnaissance Section
* Also, (5) very guilty of wasting our time.
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The Empire is secret. Secrecy is our survival.
K . A . V . D .
Comment: Disciple Uniform? IBC involvement? Wartime protocols? Sounds like these pirates are out of their depth and in hot water. It will take significant resources to accomplish this, though anything is preferable to dealing with Scaelorian incompetence and bad company. Back to Ponvarus, then. I am in need of a new weapon or two, and I can only hope that the invisible hand of Frankonia's "market" does not hold one to my throat when I arrive.
Also, Pitched Wanker? Seriously? Military records will forever document the legend of the seamen of the Pitched Wanker, who braved all reason and penetrated Imperial borders? Colour my excitement flaccid. (Note to self: omit this section from all official documentation.)