17 of Midspring, 394

Discomfort

by Auriane Chopin

I do not think this Princess can know how much her words wounded me. Perhaps she does and wished to put me in my place, but I do not think so. I think she is defending herself and her decisions. They are a strange people, these people of Ashes, and her ways are strange to me, but I find myself wanting her approval.
 
I should not have said what I did. It is one thing to question the wisdom of a decision, but to question a woman's character, that is different. I went too far. I am off balance.
 
The taste of Scorpion was sweet, if nothing else went well. And it was not so awkward once we were sharing our kills and savoring our triumph. I have always found that surviving a fight together binds like nothing else.
 
I do not want to trance. When my mind is still, I see Cedric fall over and over again. Which is right. He was a great man, he deserves to be mourned. By now I suppose my mother has heard that her brother and daughter are dead. Perhaps the new Chieftan has been chosen already. I can only hope that my people choose wisely.
 
They are not my people anymore. I am dead to them. If I am dead in my homeland, who am I? Where do I belong?

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