Midnight's Journal: After Veldt

Something is missing... something important. I don't feel like myself anymore.... I don't know how to describe it...
 
It all began when we, that being Lio, Vatna and myself, assisted Tsoki with his presentation. Suddenly he couldn't read his own language. The words were meaningless. Yet we knew Tsoki wrote it all so it made no sense. Until it clicked in mine to some extent. I had just recently had a discussion with Quet on the subject. Something stole the memory away. I didn't want to believe it to be honest. Was the Librarian already here? Had he recovered so quickly? We went to investigate, eventually ending up taking the airship to find our way back to Tsoki's world.
 
It was an interesting trip to say the least. I had certainly studied the controls for a great while with my role in Navigation, but I'd never actually flown the airship. It was enjoyable and seemed to go well enough. Safely got there with my newfound knowledge of rifts and landed safely at Tsoki's home. Apparently everyone on his world had forgotten. Worse? On the way, Lio picked up the signal of the Librarian. He had been there. He had stolen from Tsoki's Word Tree. It's strange... I remember a fire inside me that threatened to boil over but now? It angers me, but I don't feel like I'm fighting it down anymore. I'll get to that in a moment.
 
After a disastrous attempt to make ice stairs by one of the apprentices, we flew down into the valley to the entrance of a forest. Snow and ice was everywhere after the disaster. We made it to their tree fine however. It was quite the sight. A tree of nothing but rune-etched acorns. I imagine such a sight would make the residents of Yggdrasil quite happy. Hmm... Yggdrasil... I wonder if that is our Word Tree? It's quite a massive tree... and while it's just leaves that sprout from it, it is a font of powerful life magic. Perhaps if it is such a tree, it etches knowledge on the flow of magic itself? A thought to explore if I ever return home. Another sight that reminded me of Yggdrasil however? A giant squirrel guardian. Ok, we don't have giant squirrels as far as I know, but Yggdrasil is a nation of squirrelfolk. So the comparison still fits some. Anyways, the guardian apparently didn't seem the happiest to see us at first, but it needed help.
 
The tree was damaged. Knowledge had faded away from some of the nuts as a result of the Librarian's actions and we may have ended up knocking some stuff down ourselves with the whole ice situation. We patched that up fine and were going to work before all hell broke loose. Rifts summoning demonic looking creatures... the guardian squirrel crawling through one... and massive demon coming out of our attempt to recover the guardian? And during all of this? I jumped through Vatna's vial of that strange 2D holy fire. It seemed like it'd be fine. I just had to go through fast and any heat wouldn't be an issue, right? Besides, I was hungry to try out my upgraded weapon. The result? My shadow is gone... why is it gone? It makes no sense, holy magic doesn't work like that where I'm from. Shadow is just shadow! Like the night is just the night. The moon doesn't burn away the night, it's just part of the night. The only thing that makes sense is something that I have trouble accepting.
 
One of my parents had to have been a demon or demon blooded. Yet if that's true.... it had to be my father. Demons pass on their elemental affinity and emotional affinity as a dominant trait. My mother was ice affinity, so if I'm right, that means it came from my father. My biological one. It also explains something else... I always had an affinity for fear. My magic awoke through my own fear, being surrounded by the fear of others always stirred me to greater action. My love for adventure and danger? My adrenaline seeking behavior? There is always a tinge of fear. It is strange to think about. I don't hate it. I'm still me, regardless of it. Demonic heritage doesn't define one's entire being after all. The danger comes from those who embrace their affinities in destructive ways just like anyone else, just with different motivations, biology... weaknesses. In fact without that side of me I feel a bit empty. Like the part of me that has spurred me on to action has weakened. Like the ambition and sense of adventure that burned in my blood has dimmed.
 
I need to explore this. Discover what it all means to me. However before I can do that? I have to fix it. It's also a bit freaky not having a shadow. I'm kind of afraid to look in the mirror to be honest, because if I'm not blocking light then.... what would I even reflect? I'm not sure...
 
Still, despite my unease? We did restore Tsoki's word tree. It came from a rather reckless transfusion from Liminal's. Something else that probably isn't going to have the best repercussions but better than it dying. Bad, but best option among all bad options. After which? Tsoki received some sort of vision from the guardian squirrel. One in which he saw the Librarian. We don't know where he's currently heading, but we know he will be coming our way at some point. We rushed home through the rift Vatna created. It angered the scholars, and the apprentice flipping them the bird didn't help but I did manage to use a scroll to send a message. To warn them of what was coming. Hopefully serving as an explanation for why we would need to rush. I don't know if they believe me, but if it doesn't at least spur them to look among the pages related to us to confirm and plan for his arrival? Then I don't know what purpose they serve.
 
I think that's enough writing for now. I think I'm going to lay down. Feeling a bit queasy.