Session 93

General Summary

• After adjusting their plans for the day based on what Alfalfa had told them, the party visited Alice at the Cathedral of Light.
• Dwardazik donated to the church, as his way of thanking Pelor for all the times that Grogery was able to save his life.
• Dazki apologized for his earlier behavior.
• Grogery returned the unused scroll and updated Alice about the zombies. She plans put together a strike force to clean them up, now that the source has been dealt with.
• They then visited Morn'Tharur in The Spire of Beasts.
• Since last time, Morn'Tharur has managed to install his treasure from Grogery in the sunbeam, causing the light to split throughout his whole chamber.
• Marvin sang the dragon the song of their encounters since they left.
• When asked what he remembers about Dennis, Morn'Tharur confirmed their earlier information: they had told him that Dennis is to the west, on an island in the Waterscar.
• The party spend most of the rest of the day cleaning up, then they headed home.
• On their way back, they were followed by Li'l Joker, who had an unsigned note for them written in Thieves Cant. It warned them that if they harass any "friend of the Family" without rock-solid evidence, that there would be consequences.
• The note also indicated that there's a "helpful" item in the piano.
• With all party members cleaned up and (besides Kesmet) dressed in fancy clothes, they proceeded to The Paradise Casino.
• The bouncer didn't like Kesmet's outfit or Grogery's race, so he refused them entry — despite Marvin's failed attempt at a Modify Memory spell to "convince" him otherwise.
• The others entered, and Kesmet teleported himself and Grogery in anyway.

Full Recap

The party adjusts their plans for the rest of the day after their new information:

• They still need to head to the Cathedral of Light, since Dazki still needs to apologize to Alice, and Grogery still needs to give a status report on the zombie issue.
• Because they have told Morn'Tharur stories of Dennis in the past, they want to visit him to validate their information against what Alfalfa has recently said.
• They decide to hold off on visiting the House of Gold. Dazki can just send a letter at the post office on the way, which he did.
• It would be nice to visit House of Crystal, but there's not enough time.

Dwardazik also has an idea for how to get into The Paradise Casino:

Dwardazik: All right, guys. I think I have a clever plan here. So, first off, what we need to do is get away from here. Do somethin' — maybe go apologize to Alice (hopefully, her temper won't flare up), maybe go check out Morn'Tharur. But more importantly, if we head on over to The Spire of Beasts, then we might be able to lose whoever might be tailing us.   Dwardazik (cont'd): And as we make our way back — I don't know if we want to have some disguises ready or something? — but then we can act like we're not there, and it's just Kesmet coming back in. Maybe it would make it easier for him to snuff out the mole that way, if they don't think he has protection.   Dazki: Well, for one, I doubt we're going to be tailed coming out of here.   Dwardazik: Not so much coming out. I'm just worried about people in the city tailing us.   Dazki: We're wealthy, important people. I don't think we really need a disguise to go into the casino.   Marvin: Just so you guys know — disguises are, in fact, my specialty.   Dwardazik: Well, then, maybe you can give me something like a couple of shiny gems to throw on my new outfit! Make me seem a little more important, like I should be.   Kesmet: I can change my hair color at will...   Dwardazik: Whatever we choose to do, we need to make our way down there.   There's some discussion about the details of what Marvin can do.   Dazki: I'm still going to go with... we don't need disguises. But, Dwardazik, I suppose if you want one, then it's not like it will hurt.   Dwardazik: Nah, it was merely a suggestion. Let's not overcomplicate things. Perhaps I was just being overcautious. We are well-known; maybe we can use that to our advantage. I've been treating this as more of an assassination — uh, er, interrogation — uh... ... — I just thought we were doing something a little different than just trying to sniff out the mole! Maybe being more approachable would be better.   Dazki: Yeah, my hope is that it's not going to get violent. Worst thing is that there might be a chase.   Marvin: Oh, I hope there's something as exciting as that!   Kesmet: Speaking of violence, how many health potions does everyone have?   He distributes some to get everyone up to 2.   Dwardazik: I appreciate it, kind of an oversight on my part. I'll give you the gold, or whatever you want in exchange, once we get back to the house. (He records it in his book: 100gp owed to Kesmet)   Dazki: Well, we need to get back there to change, at least.   Dwardazik: Yes... yes... almost makes me wonder... hmm...   Kesmet: Also, I forget, do we have to dress fancy? I've just got, like, my traveling clothes.   Dazki: The Queen of Hearts told us to look nice.   Kesmet: So, do we have some time before we have to "look nice"?   Dazki: Yeah. Also, I think that you're the one who least needs to "look nice", because you're being used as bait. Standing out might be a good idea.   Kesmet: I'm going to have to take the day to clean up... not going Full Dazki™, but I'll at least scrub up a little.   Dwardazik: Perhaps we should hail a cart and head back to the Cathedral of Light and see how Alice is doing. In the meantime, we'll get directions on where Kesmet can go to clean up — or, perhaps, Dazki, you already have something in mind?   Dazki: Yeah, I could absolutely get some stuff for us.   Dwardazik: Excellent... (He twists his mustache a little)

They hail a cab to go to the Cathedral.

Grogery: You know, goblins don't really fit the profile of a lot of people who would normally walk into that casino. I feel like my ears are way bigger than everybody else's...   Dwardazik: Uh... uh, uh... I got it!   Dwardazik: That just means you've got more room for decorations like, um... gemmed earrings!   Grogery: Oh, no, earrings hurt!   Dwardazik: Well, think: they could be so pretty... and reflect the sun!   Marvin: They do say that beauty is painful.   Dazki: Beauty does not have to be pain.   Grogery: Well, goblin ears are a lot like elf ears. There's a lot less cartilage, and a lot more blood vessels. Injuries to my ears bleed a lot.   Dwardazik: ...OK, maybe not. Maybe we can just get you a fancy hat or somethin'.   Dazki: I'm sure we'll be able to get you in. Worse comes to worst, we can lie and say you're my spiritual advisor or something — (well, that wouldn't be a lie...) — and that you're coming along to keep me from wasting away all my wealth, out of concern.   Kesmet: Like, "excuse me, sir, this is my emotional support goblin".   Dwardazik: I've gotta tell ya, I was about to say, Grogery is keeping us sane this whole time.   Marvin: You know, if you really want me to, I could put makeup over your face to not look green? ...or, wait, would that be kinda racist? ...yeah, never mind...   Dwardazik: Rrgh. Look. Grogery is Grogery. And Grogery is an accepted and excellent person, and member of the chapel of Pelor. As far as I'm concerned, if anyone over there has a problem with him, then they have a problem with me... and my fists! (He clangs his fists together, empowered by his new Insignia of Claws.)   Marvin: And I would love to see that, but... we are trying to have a low profile...   Dwardazik: Then they'd better not start somethin'.   Kesmet: Then how are we supposed to lure people in?   Marvin: With you.   Kesmet: Still not sure how I feel about that plan.   Dazki: Hopefully, with Grogery, we won't have to cross that bridge. Hopefully, we will be able to get him in without any issues.   Dwardazik: Ugh, you know, maybe it would just be easy. Like, they'll go, "oh, hey, you can't come in here, you're a goblin", and then Grogery will just be like, "but I'm rich!" —   Grogery: "Money! Don't you like money?"   Dwardazik: — and then that's the end of that. Problem solved.   Kesmet: Or just, "this is not a goblin! this is a deformed dragonborn/gnome!"   Marvin: That's just crazy enough to work!   Kesmet: "Don't you know, goblins don't have red hair!"   Dwardazik: Only Kesmet can make me consider what that would look like...

At the Cathedral of Light

Dwardazik: Excuse me, Grogery — for some reason, I just never bothered to look, but — does the Cathedral have altars to the other minor deities?   Grogery: Well, there's plenty of other places on Temple Row... is there a god you want to pay service to, who isn't represented here?   Dwardazik: Just... curious, a bit. And I most certainly have no interest in the Followers of Fame and Fortune.   Dazki: Oh, you don't want to join a pyramid scheme disguised as a religion?   Dwardazik: Maybe if I was at the top, but even then, I might get a sour stomach...

There are still large groups of people mulling about after this morning's sermon. None of the paladins are in the main hall. Alice is around, sitting on a stone bench and tending to her weaponry, even though it has not been used in some time, paying attention to the tip of a spear. You get the sense that it's just something that she's gotten into the habit of doing. Dazki sits next to her on the bench. She does not acknowledge.

Dazki: All right. Alice, I owe you an apology. I let my childish pride get the better of me, and I escalated a situation that I should have worked to de-escalate. I apologize. You are being a good leader by being here and helping all of the other paladins that need your guidance, so I am sorry for what I said. The explicitly-stated offer still stands, if you want to go a round or two in the ring. ...the implicit one, too, if you're up for that...   Marvin, whispering to Grogery: Hey, wait, does he have a thing for Alice?   Grogery, whispering back: I have long since stopped trying to figure out what's going on between those two.   Kesmet, joining the whisper party: I think Dazki might "back both teams", but I'm not entirely sure.

Dazki sits there for about a minute, waiting for any acknowledgement. When none comes, he gets up to leave, but as he does, Alice thrusts her spear right in front of his face.

Alice: Do you see the tip of this spear? See how pristine it is? See how little work it's putting in?   Dazki: Don't think of yourself as a spear. (He unsheathes his dagger.) Think of yourself as a knife. A knife can be used to fight, yes, but a sharp blade — when wielded properly — also has many other uses that can help multitudes of people, in hundreds of ways. It doesn't dull the edge of the blade. It is not disrespectful to the knife, for it not to be used to stab another. It is just finding a new way for a tool to be used. And if Pelor didn't think you capable of that, then he wouldn't have you here.   Marvin: Just get a room already, you two!   Kesmet: ...every single line of that could be interpreted as an innuendo.   Dwardazik, with a facepalm: Ugh. This is wrong. I'm going to take a walk. I'm sure when he's done, he'll find us. (He walks down the hallway to find the nearest acolyte. He has decided that, since Pelor has been doing good for him, he would give back to the church. He donates a gold.)   Alice: I feel like I'm being wasted here. I can't be my perfect self here.   Dazki: No one can be their perfect self, no matter where they are.   Marvin: Yeah! Why don't you both be your imperfect selves, somewhere private, huh?   Dazki: But what you can do is strive to be better. Improve yourself. I'm sure this is a great challenge for you — but the people who gave you this challenge and put their faith in you, they're there to support you. And I'm sure they believe that you're up to the task.   Marvin: ...in bed.   Dazki: You can do this, Alice. I wouldn't give you such a hard time if I didn't think you capable of it.   Alice stands from the bench, pulling back her spear.   Dazki: Anyway, I think Grogery has some business to discuss with you.   Alice: I think it wise that I be more versatile. ...like a spear. It's so much more than just a weapon at the end of a long stick.   Marvin: Man, you guys have really got to stop it with this.   Alice, in an act of "versatility", jabs Dazki in the side of his knee with the blunt end of the spear.   Alice: See? I just need to be more like this spear.

Alice turns to walk towards the rest of the party, but as she turns, she sees Marvin lying down kicking his feet on the bench.

Marvin: Oh, yes, please use your long spear on me next! Please!   Alice, turning to Dazki: You heard the half-man. Get to work!

She then continues towards Grogery and Kesmet. Marvin gets up and follows behind, with Dazki. Dwardazik is also on his way back. Grogery pulls out his Scroll of Protection from Evil and Good when she approaches and hands it to her. She takes it.

Alice: I guess... thanks for returning it, but you didn't have to bring it to me, personally. I mean, I did hand it out to you, but I'm not really, like... the librarian here, or anything like that.   Marvin: ...can you be my librarian?   Grogery: Marvin, please, just...   Kesmet: Marvin, what does that even mean?!   Grogery: I could have handed it to the acolytes and left it at that, but I wanted to talk about some of the things we saw while we were away, and also to let you know that... I think being a paladin is super hard.   Alice: All right, OK, so... should we go somewhere to discuss things, I guess? I'm very curious.   Grogery: Sure.   Dwardazik: Are we coming along?   Alice: I don't really care that much about what you do.

Alice takes them to a suitable location, then Grogery describes their journey. As he explains what they learned about the zombies — that people who were healed by the Flesh Artist would reanimate as zombies upon their death, so that's where all the zombies were coming from — Alice stops him.

Alice: So you've... dealt with... what was generating the hoard, but is the hoard still out there?   Grogery: They are probably still out there. We have removed the source.   Alice: ...you're saying there's still work to be done in the field, then?   Grogery: There is still work to be done in the field.   Dwardazik: Uh, I'm not really sure? Do we really know the quantity of undead still out there? We kinda took their rallying piece.   Grogery: We saw what happened to Hershal's Rest. We never saw a hoard of zombies that was large enough to do that. So, I think they're still out there.   Dwardazik: I just don't know. I don't understand how the undead truly work. Don't they need to be controlled by something? Can they really, truly be "restless"?   Alice: Traditionally, there is what we call a "hive lord".   Dwardazik: Wouldn't that be the guy we killed?   Grogery: Not necessarily.   Kesmet: Isn't it kind-of a... manager zombie?   Alice: I don't really like when you use the word "killed", here. Can we not use the word "killed", here?   Grogery: OK.   Marvin: There was the Flesh Artist, then there was the whole Beholder thing. He seemed like he was trying to do something with the undead. We stopped him too.   Grogery: I think I remember us talking about it earlier. These zombies were strange, in that they didn't seem to have an obvious "hive lord" most of the time?   Alice: Right, that's what I told you.   Grogery: Right.   Alice: So, there are still some roaming around out there that threaten the city, then?   Dwardazik: There's always going to be threats.   Grogery: Yes, but hopefully the numbers should be going down instead of going up.   Alice: Well, they're not gonna just disappear.   Grogery: No.   Alice: OK.   Marvin: Well, those random wildfires in that area, they should take out a few.   Alice: This is, indeed, a very mixed bag of news, then.   Grogery: At least we know exactly what is causing some of these people to come back as zombies. So, if this news is spread around a bit more, then if someone has been treated by the Flesh Artist, then the local cleric in the area should make sure to keep an eye on them.   Alice: The Artist. The guy...   Dazki: The late Vicra Lammergeyer.   Alice: Right. And the people he heals turn into zombies?   Grogery: When they die.   Alice: So, necromancy?   Dazki: Turmoil   Marvin: Big ol' Turmoil. SUPER-Turmoil, I might add.   Dazki: No, not SUPER-Turmoil. Just Turmoil.   Marvin: ...wait, is that thing?   Grogery: He was using Turmoil to enhance his necromancy and healing magic, which is why all of this was happening.   Alice: And you haven't spoken to the Archfather about this?   Grogery: No.   Alice: I think you should continue to not speak to the Archfather about this.   Grogery: OK.   Dazki: May I ask why?   Kesmet: ...so that we don't bother him?   Alice: You were here the last time you brought up Turmoil with him. He doesn't handle the stress of it well.   Marvin: I'd say that's a normal reaction. You know, stress. To a force that no one quite understands at all. And can wreak havoc on the world. That's a normal response.   Alice: The government is already pressuring him with this whole Mark business. This is the last thing he needs to hear. And you will not tell him.   Marvin: Are you suggesting it's better to not know about reality? Not to be prepared?   Alice: I think he has a lot of burdens, and it would certainly help us if we didn't add more to it.   Marvin: All right.   Alice: And I'm telling you not to tell him. That should count for something.   Grogery: So, what should I do if he asks directly?   Alice: Don't lie to him if he asks directly, but I don't know why he would do that.   Grogery: Maybe he's just learned to expect those sorts of things from us.   Alice: And if you go around, doing your little manipulations, to get him to ask the question, so that you can tell him all the things I told you just now not to tell him, then this boot is going up all your little tight assholes!   Marvin: Ooh, yes, satisfy my masochism even more, please!   Dwardazik: ...ugh...   Alice: ...because I know you all so do love to do that.   Dwardazik: No boots up asses will be necessary here. We'll keep it polite and simple.   Marvin: I mean, if you're gonna tempt me like that...   Dwardazik: We can deal with getting a boot up your ass later tonight.   Marvin: In all reality, no, it's not my place to go blabbing about this sort of thing.   Alice: I need to assemble a strike force to get those zombies.   Grogery: Anyway, Alice, ... when you're a cleric healing people within the safe walls of a city, you get to see a lot of happy endings and stories of hope. When someone comes in, in a bad condition: you heal them, then they're better. And even if you can't make them better, it's usually not your fault if they get worse. But when you're out there in the field, and there's a bunch of these monsters threatening the people you care about, it's a lot harder to deal with. A lot more sad endings — and, a lot of times, even if you do "win", things are still worse than when they started.   Alice: I've heard many preaches today. That one's gonna need a little work.   Grogery: I don't have a lot of practice with preaching, but what I'm trying to say is, I think I would rather be a cleric than a paladin. You're a lot better at avoiding that sort of negativity than I am.   Alice: Sure. So, I've got to go get this strike force thing going.   Marvin: Can you even locate a zombie hoard like that?   Dwardazik: With careful manipulation and proper tactics, yes, that's quite easy to do! They're not exactly moving to hide themselves. I'm sure with proper scouts, you can figure out their densities. Yeah, I don't think it's hard at all, and a great task for someone to occupy themselves with: commanding a strike force, assembling the information that's provided, maybe even listening to the people who might come by with stories of what's going on out there!   Alice: Look, the church really appreciates all the help. I don't, like, have any rewards or anything for you.   Dwardazik: Just... no boots up asses, please.   Dazki: Rewards aren't the point of this, Alice. You don't need to worry about that.   Dwardazik: I'd be dead, like, twenty times if it wasn't for Pelor. As far as I'm concerned, that's the reward.   Grogery: It's kind of hard to aid a situation if you're just doing it for a reward. We did it because it's the right thing to do.   Marvin: Yeah, what's the point of doing something if you're doing it for the wrong reasons?   Alice kneels down to meet the eye level of the shorter members.   Alice: Stay optimistic, I suppose. It seems contagious.   Dazki: Same goes to you.   Alice: And you there, littler man.   Marvin: There's several of those here.   Alice: You know who I'm talking to.   Marvin: Oh, you've noticed me!   Alice: Yeah, come here!

Marvin happily approaches, as Dwardazik takes his shield out and Dazki takes a step back. As he gets in reach, Alice grabs him by the shoulders and thrusts him against the side of the stone wall. He moans.

Alice: You listen here, little man. I might not want to be in this church, but I sure as shit don't want to see it defiled. If, for one second, that smirk of yours can say something pleasant, then perhaps you can stay here. Or, you could leave here immediately and shut the fuck up.

Alice releases her grip and shoves him a few feet towards the door.

Alice: Stay positive, Grogery!   Dazki: Well, we should let you get to it.   Dwardazik: Well, that went better than I expected. To be frank, he was asking for it. I mean, he was asking for it, right? Am I wrong? (He looks around to the others.) He was asking for it, right?   Grogery: Ehh...   Dwardazik: There was only really one way this was going to end: basically that, if not more of a fist.

Marvin uses a Sending to send a romantic message to Alice, punctuating it by pointing out that she never said anything about talking inside her head.

Dazki: Listen, Marvin. I'm a flirt. You're taking it a step too far, here.   Marvin: She needs to unwind a little bit! I don't mean, like, actually gettin' it on, but like, you know...   Dwardazik: You're dead, man.   Dazki: Sometimes you gotta know when to cut your losses.   Dwardazik: And unfortunately, Dazki's very familiar with that.   Dazki: A pessimist focuses on all the "no"s, an optimist focuses on the "yes".   Marvin: You clearly do not understand how much of a tolerance I have for disappointment.   Dazki: I just don't want you to get hurt by Alice, seriously. So let's get out of here.   Dwardazik: I would prefer not to start a citywide conflict of, The Church against Our Estate. Led by Alice.   Grogery: OK! Anyways. Marvin, please don't get banned from the church.   Dwardazik: I have to agree.   Marvin: OK, now that you say that... you phrase it like a challenge.   Dwardazik: Stop accepting it as a challenge!   Grogery: Marvin. If you get banned from the church, and we have to teleport back here using Word of Recall, you're not going to be able to come with us.   Marvin: ...what if I'm in disguise?   Grogery: You know True Seeing is a cleric spell, right?   Marvin: My disguises don't need magic.   Dwardazik, pointing to Grogery: Grogery. Stop being smart.   Dwardazik, pointing to Marvin: Marvin. Stop being a horny dumbass. Let's move on, before you get yourself killed.   Marvin: Oh, wouldn't that be the day...   Grogery: Didn't you almost get yourself killed by that Snap Dragon?   Dwardazik: You know what, I have to give him a moment of recognition. Whatever Marvin is on right now is probably the strongest drug I've ever heard of.   Marvin: Friend, I'm on a drug called infatuation.   Dwardazik: Uh...   Dazki: I'm gonna go ahead and let you know — there's usually a pretty bad crash from that.   Kesmet: Try working out a little bit.   Dwardazik: Might I suggest you take a cold shower? ...you know, to make sure you're clean! For the casino.   Grogery: Weren't we going to go see Morn'Tharur?   Dwardazik: So I was thinking about that. It might cause us to get a little, uh, dirty, crawling through the tunnels to him. Do we want to do that, perhaps, tomorrow?   Grogery: It's still early...   Dwardazik: Just pointing that out.   Grogery: We could go to the Spire of Beasts, be there for a few hours, come out, get dressed up, and then be really fresh and snazzy for the casino.   Kesmet: I vote for that.

A Captive Audience

Marvin disguises himself as a goblin for the trip into the Spire of Beasts. They begin walking in.

Grogery: OK, Marvin, just a quick warning: the last time we were here, we attempted to get an audience with Lizardtamer, the leader of the gnolls back here, to have her stop hurting our friend. It didn't go over well (we kinda got run out of her territory). Basically, there's two factions of the gnolls: one that wants to hang onto the old ways — "we're the superior race, we should be enslaving everybody else, we're going to use this dragon to make ourselves rich" — and the other ones who want to break from tradition and find their own path. Editor's note: actually...

It's not at all a "break from tradition" group. Both gnoll factions think that they're living up to the traditional ideals of what gnolls "should" be, and that it's the other group who's being very un-gnollish. In a nutshell, according to the leaders themselves:

• Lizardtamer believes that the gnolls should bide their time and accumulate resources. Wait to assert their dominance until there's an opportunity where they might actually be able to win.
• All things considered, they have a pretty good thing going: they have access to a dragon, which continuously produces highly valuable materials. This gives the gnolls leverage, which they can use to grow in strength.
• To Lizardtamer, Grittooth wants to fight a war that they are not prepared to win. And when (not if) they lose, then there's never going to be a second chance.
• So yeah, the gnolls are in a bit of a low place right now. They're not living their best lives. It's a sacrifice, but worth it in the long run, because the gnolls wil eventually rise up and live up to their full potential and destiny.
• Grittooth is upset that Lizardtamer's inaction allows her forces to grow weak, which others (such as BFI) exploit.
• Gnolls should be slavers, but they live as slaves, waiting for an opportunity to fall into their laps.
• To Grittooth, Lizardtamer is just stalling, and until that moment, all gnolls have to suffer an unacceptable standard of living (except for Lizardtamer herself... how convenient).
• Grittooth firmly believes that Lizardtamer's "perfect moment" is never going to just come about by itself: gnolls must make it happen, through action (not inaction).

There's more to the dynamic between the two factions, I'm just focusing on the bits that relate to the "tradition vs. break from tradition" angle.   Anyway, back to your regularly scheduled recap. I think Grogery was in the middle of giving a "quick" warning?

  Grogery (cont'd): That "break with tradition" group is kind-of on friendly terms with us. We roughed each other up a bit, and now there's a bit of a mutual respect. I'm also friends with a few goblins here (sort of, it's been a while since we've seen each other), and the kobolds are on really friendly terms with us, because we're on friendly terms with Morn'Tharur.   Marvin: So, are we really in that much danger, walking in here?   Grogery: Not really. We've been through here a few times, and we've only been mugged, like, three times.   Marvin: Hey, that's not bad!   Dazki: It's about a 50/50 chance.   Grogery: So basically, you're more likely to get robbed by gnolls than kobolds, as long as you're hanging around us.   Marvin: Sounds like a good plan.   Grogery: Before this whole Turmoil business, I was having thoughts like, "hey, maybe we could improve the situation in here a lot! you know, set up some education..." —   Dwardazik: We're still doing that!   Grogery: Yeah! We're still doing that, it's just... you know... there's a bit more of an existential threat that needs to get solved first.   Dazki: You are aware that that's, like, a ten-year plan, right, Grogery? At the least?   Grogery: Wait, that's... huh? Oh, yeah, the education. But, I mean, gotta start somewhere, right?   Dazki: Yeah, I'm just saying... ... ...it's a long plan. To get it done, and to get it done right.   Grogery: Uh-huh!   Dazki: So... you won't have a lot of time to go home... should you choose to follow this path.   Grogery: Um, well, I suppose that's something I can figure out when I get to it.   Dazki: And, like... I don't... it would be difficult for your brother to come here, especially given all of his future responsibilities.   Grogery: Yeah, my mom hasn't heard from me in a while. I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm dead. Heh!   Marvin: That's not great.   Dazki: All right, I wanted to make sure you realized... all of what you were committing yourself to. Because... nation-building is long and hard, and you will not see the fruits of your labor come to be, in your lifetime.   Grogery: All one can do is always aid, and hope that your actions have impact.   Dazki: All right. Like I said, you're my friend, I wanted to make sure you're walking into this with open eyes.

Dark and shadowy figures abound. You feel as if there are always eyes upon you — but that's pretty normal for the Spire of Beasts. The party heads straight down a path that leads deeper towards the center.   This area, last time you saw it, was absolutely covered in graffiti and flyers all depicting the symbol of Pelor. There doesn't seem to be as much of that around anymore. Instead of graffiti, there's a lot of cindered old wood and ash. It was certainly much more flammable, with all the extra kindling. The area doesn't feel dead, though: you still feel the eyes watching you, and little things scurry around corners, scattering old buckets and bits of driftwood. Kobolds are still here, but they are being cautious now. They climb their way up through the town.   It feels more like climbing natural terrain — like a jungle canopy cluttered with old branches... and rusted metal. Marvin sees the rest of the party take interest in climbing through a cubby hole, whose interior is dark and difficult to see in. He follows without hesitation.

Dazki: And this is going to be someone easily as interesting as Annu.   Marvin:

The tunnels open up to a large chamber, almost like a large cave, possibly what used to be a large gathering place within the old palace. Kobolds are scattered about: once in darkness, now small spots of light swirl and rotate around the walls and floor of the cavern. The crystal you had gifted the dragon is hung in its only light source and now lights the chamber in shifting prismatic patterns.   Oh, and there is a massive dragon in here. As a few of the light spots from the crystal shine over the large, brass scales, some land on a large, battered horn and a nostril so big that Marvin could probably crawl into it. Lying in this cavern, impossibly large mithril-colored chains dangling from the ceiling bind a dragon. An actual goddamn dragon! ...at least, half a dragon, as you cannot see the back half of it through the rubble.

Marvin: Uh, you guys could've given me a little heads-up! You knew we were walking into this?!   Grogery: Yep.   Kesmet: Yeah, that's Morn'Tharur.   Dwardazik: If you want some stories, you're in for a bit of a treat.   Marvin: Uh... yep. Yep! Stories, yep! Dragon's got lots of stories! I need those stories!   Dwardazik: I'm interested in his health.   Marvin: Wait, he's not doin' so great?   Grogery: The currency of the Spire of Beasts is brass dragon scales. Where do you think those come from?   Marvin: ...oh... oh my God... how long has he been here?! Since the building collapsed?!   Dazki: Since before that, Marvin. Since before that.   Marvin: Who is responsible for this?!   Grogery: The Firelord before this one.   Marvin: Does our present Firelord know about this?!   Grogery: If he does, then he doesn't care.

Marvin just looks in awe at the dragon.

Dwardazik: Well, good morning there, Morn'Tharur! It's a pleasure to see you again.   Morn'Tharur: I smell fresh blood. Do you make new friends? Do you trust them?   Dwardazik: We've been through some hellish, perilous, and most certainly life-ending adventures together. I would say I trust them with my life.

The dragon opens an eye, and Marvin feels as if he could get lost in just the blackness of his pupil. Stretching — what little it can against its bindings — it seems that you've woken it from a nap.

Morn'Tharur, his eye focusing specifically on Marvin: Well, I do have time. Why don't you spin me a tale?   Dazki: Marvin, Kesmet, I do believe this is the specialty of the two of you.   Kesmet: ...you know I don't remember most of what happened in the last few days, right?   Dazki: Oh, that's right!   Grogery: I guess that means it's largely up to Marvin, then!   Kesmet: I mean, I can provide the mood music if you guys want, since you told me what the stuff was, but...   Marvin: Why don't we just harmonize? I'll do the singing and the mandolin, but you can join in.

Marvin regales Morn'Tharur with the tales of the party's encounters outside of the city: from Hershal's Rest, to the horrors of the Masterpieces, to the other horrors of Vicra Lammergeyer's Lair, building up each party member to be a paragon of their respective skills. Kesmet provides accompaniment with his harmonica.

Dwardazik: Hmm. While I can appreciate everything, it's really kind of strange to have all those horrors in a melody of sorts.   Marvin: But it's a tale about overcoming —   Dwardazik: I know. I know, I know! But it's still just an odd experience, to hear it in this form.

During the performance, a crowd of kobolds begins to form in a circle around Marvin and Kesmet (at a safe distance, of course) jabbering to one another in a language that no party member understands. And while you had imagined that a dragon would be a hard creature to read, Morn'Tharur seems taken in by your song and dance. When it's done, Morn'Tharur comments:

Morn'Tharur: You should change the story the next time you retell it.   Marvin: ...yes? What should I change?   Morn'Tharur: I think that necromancer should make out with the elf. Stories are always better with a little romance.   Kesmet: But, Morn'Tharur, he had a wife (or something), remember?   Morn'Tharur: All the better! A love triangle! All good tales have a love triangle.   Marvin, barely containing his laughter: Yes! Yes! I'm writing that down now! I hope you don't mind, Dazki?   Dazki shakes his head.   Dwardazik: While I normally would agree, does a tale as grim as this benefit from such a... different perspective? Would it not detract from the main message?

Morn'Tharur slams one giant talon against the floor, echoing throughout the entire chamber. The chains that bind it begin to clatter, and a couple of trinkets from his hoard fall to the ground.

Morn'Tharur: Love. In EVERY story!   Marvin, quickly: I couldn't agree more!   Grogery: Sometimes, when there is nothing but darkness — no context, no reference — with a small beam of sunlight, to bring sweetness to the sorrow, the tale can be made more powerful.   Marvin is hastily jotting down notes in his book.   Dwardazik: Well, I guess that's the... benefit... of a story. You can always... change things up a little bit. Make 'em... bigger and better.   Kesmet, aside to the party: Hey, so, did we want to confirm with Morn'Tharur? You know... the thing?   Dwardazik: Yeah-yeah-yeah. So, Marvin, we wanted to hear a tale from Morn'Tharur about Dennis. (He turns to Morn'Tharur.) We've been trying to find Dennis, as a character. Our adventures with him are probably going to be quite crazy and exciting. But we want to hear — from your perspective, and perhaps you'll even be a character in this tale, if you start at this section of it — what can you tell us about Dennis?   Morn'Tharur: ...you told me about Dennis. Is this a test?   Kesmet: Yes.   Dwardazik: If I said "yes", and you think "yes"... but if I said "no", and you think "no", but you actually think "yes", it changes the story, so... what you have to say right now —   Grogery: This plot twist will be more effective if we don't explain it before it happens. Then, the big reveal!   Dwardazik: Right now, you have the chance to change destiny based on your response!   Marvin: Morn, it would be an honor for me to sing a song about you! Please, let your decision shape the world!   Morn'Tharur: Nobody needs to sing a story about me.   Marvin: But, you are —   Dwardazik: He's just a side character, come on.   Marvin: The whole world should know about —   Dwardazik: No, no, he's a side character.   Morn'Tharur, forcefully: I am forgotten, and I wish to stay that way!   Dwardazik: He's a side character, and we all know that the super passionate people who actually pay attention to the stories will know of him, but they'll only know of him because they'll read between the lines. Look, we're not going to spell it out to our avid fans like that. We're not going to be like, "oh, there's Morn'Tharur down there", we all know that you don't want that. But come on! What do you know about Dennis?   Morn'Tharur: You're the storytellers, not me.   Dwardazik: Well, we've talked, but... OK, then don't tell it in a story. ...please?   Kesmet: It's important to us.   Morn'Tharur: Well, if it's important — and if it makes the dwarf stop talking — I'm not sure what this Dennis character is. But, I've heard things. The kobolds have told me that the gnolls are gearing up against the powerful enemy, Dennis. It's distracted the less important of the two gnoll factions. It's quite literally been a pain in the ass.   (Groans from the party)   Grogery: Where do they say this Dennis character is?   Dazki: Right. Look. I'm going to be blunt with you here. We're worried that Dennis's minions might have cursed us with a curse of amnesia. We need you to jog our memory.   Morn'Tharur: I like this plot twist!   Dwardazik: Awwww, you ruined it!   Kesmet: Nah, so long as we don't tell him specifically what memory we're trying to jog, he will remain uncorrupted!   Morn'Tharur: You told me a tale of this terrible minion. You have set against him, for he has burned down your family and your livelihood. Now, you hunt one another into the darkest depths of hell! You two will fight. But, alas! He is out of your reach! For he resides on a remote island.   Kesmet: I fucking knew it!   Dwardazik I knew it!   Morn'Tharur: When will the two get together?   Marvin: And kiss!   Morn'Tharur: No.   Marvin: ...no?   Dwardazik: Not in this one.   Kesmet: Yeah, I'd sooner bite his face off than kiss him.   Dwardazik: No, but Dennis's beautiful daughter will look just like Kesmet's previous wife, and it will just, somehow... it will turn out to be her! And... I don't know how, magic!   Marvin: Man. That would really piss off Dennis. All the better!   Dakzi: Thank you. We were worried, because his minions had led us to believe recently that he was far to the east, not hidden to the west on an island. We have been tricked, and you have helped us find the true path again!   Dwardazik: Most valuable unknown character in the story.   Kesmet: Here's the thing, we removed any curses that were on Alfalfa, and she still maintained that she told us "east". So, what's going on?!   Marvin: Was she just... lying?   Kesmet: I feel deceived, and I don't like being deceived. Especially when it comes to information about Dennis.   Dwardazik: Unless maybe she's being forced to stick to a story under duress?   Kesmet: By whom?   Dwardazik: Who knows? The Queen? Doubtful. It could be a test? I don't know. Too many questions.   Marvin: Maybe she's being mind-controlled?   Dwardazik: Without any of us noticing? Hmm...   Grogery: Mind control is usually pretty obvious unless it's very strong magic.   Morn'Tharur: But, you have a keeper of the sun with you! Such deception could not exist through His light!   Dwardazik: That's a good point. I think we really tried to grill Alfalfa between the lines. Tried our best. I think she truly believes that Dennis is to the east, for some reason. So something must be going on, here.   Grogery: And I did bestow the healing light of Pelor upon her, in case she had been cursed. And she wasn't!   Morn'Tharur: Maybe he's got an eviler twin! How else could he be both west and east?!   Dazki: I do not know. That sounds like it would be quite the plot twist.   Morn'Tharur: He would have a large mustache!   Dazki: Evil twins always have large mustaches...   Grogery: But wait, Dennis is already evil, so wouldn't this be a... good... twin?   Marvin: Or a more eviler twin?   Grogery: Or maybe Dennis was the evil twin the whole time!   Kesmet: That would still make the other twin the good twin.   Dazki: I don't think the other twin would be the "good twin", because then the "good twin" would defeat Dennis. Not Kesmet.   Morn'Tharur: No, none of this makes any sense. Why would you have twins, but then name them both "Dennis"? Strike this from the story. This makes no sense.   Kesmet: Also, it's quite likely that, since they were both raised in the same environment, they might turn out the same. So they're both shit. There's no "good" twin.   Marvin: Well, that's a given.   Morn'Tharur: So... maybe she tells the truth both times? How could he be in two places at once?   Marvin: She didn't even remember mentioning the island.   Kesmet: Yeah, she told us that, the first time she told us, she told us he was somewhere else. Wait, all this proves is that we told Morn'Tharur that he was on an island somewhere. So what happened between when we learned that information and when we presented it to him? Could we still have been cursed during that period of time?   Grogery: It would have had to have been very fast. Like, over the course of a day or two.   Kesmet: Have we recently had a restoration cast on us?   Marvin: Dwardazik did?   Dazki: We all pretty much did, in the dungeon of the Flesh Artist.   Morn'Tharur, remembering from Marvin's story: And you drank all those antidotes!   Kesmet: So considering that we're remembering a certain thing right now, that means that we remember the correct things. Did we enter an alternate reality, in which she told the other party that, yes, in fact, he is to the east?   Grogery: There was that one weird thing that happened in the dungeon, when all the skulls changed? I don't think any of you remember when that happened. (Editor's note: for quick reference, Dwardazik and Kesmet were the two who failed the save and forgot.)   Marvin: Yeah, that was really odd.   Dazki: So, back to the here and now. Thank you, Morn'Tharur, for helping us on our quest to find this Dennis.   Morn'Tharur: You're well-mannered, like nobles are. Thanking people all the time.   Dazki: It pays to be polite to your friends. At least, that's what I have been taught. And I like to consider you my friend, Morn'Tharur.   Morn'Tharur: It's not the only reason why people ask for forgiveness and for thanks. Just keep that in mind.   Dazki: Thank you for the —   Morn'Tharur: It's cute when you do it. Just be wary.   Dazki: Very well.   Dwardazik: Hmm... (He turns away)   Dazki, to the party: Have we other things that we need to discuss, or should we start getting ready for the evening's activities?   Kesmet: Let's do the "getting ready" part.   Dwardazik: That's probably in our best interests.   Morn'Tharur: You leave so soon?   Dwardazik: The sooner we leave, the sooner you get to hear the end of the tale! You don't want a filler episode, do you?   Morn'Tharur: Is that a double-entendre?   Dwardazik: I'm not going to answer that. We'll leave that as a cliffhanger for you.   Dazki: Not intentionally.   Marvin: We've been getting a lot of those today.   Morn'Tharur: At least we've gotten you off of that "freeing me" thing.   Dwardazik, to Marvin as he slaps him across the back: Hehehe, he doesn't realize the subquest!   Dwardazik, to Morn'Tharur: See you around, Morn'Tharur!   Marvin: Morn'Tharur, may I return to this place at some point?   Morn'Tharur: You are asking permission to climb through a hole I cannot reach?   Marvin: This is your dwelling.   Morn'Tharur: It is my prison, not my dwelling.   Marvin: Oh. Well, this saddens me, Morn'Tharur. I wish to discuss more things with you in the future. Surely, you have heard tales of the past? I could share more with you, in kind.   Morn'Tharur: Yes, do tell me stories.   Marvin: Then I will return once things have settled down.   Morn'Tharur: I cannot guarantee your safety, without your enlightened friend.   Marvin: Ahh, don't worry about it.   Morn'Tharur: And if you betray any of this, — (He lowers into a whisper that's just as loud as his speaking voice) — I'll find you. I have your scent now.   Marvin: Wouldn't even dream of it, Morn'Tharur.   Kesmet: Wait, wouldn't he have to escape, in order to find somebody?   Grogery: He's basically saying that if anything happens to me, then he'll have a reason to leave. And it won't be a "good" reason.   Dazki: Well, I guess on the positive side, that means that in like 30 or 40 years, Morn'Tharur will be free!   Marvin: Wait, actually?! ...oh. Oh. ... ... ... oh.   Kesmet: Dazki, that was grim as fuck.

As they make their way out, Marvin decides to probe a bit more.

Marvin: So, how did you manage to get an ancient brass dragon overly attached to you?   Grogery: At first — I can't recall exactly how we found out, I think we followed some kobolds in here — he, too, worships Pelor.   Marvin: Oh?   Grogery: See, he's been trapped under that for so long. But eventually, part of the ceiling fell away, and that beam of sunlight came in. It was his one hope in the darkness, he was like "truly, this is Pelor speaking to me".   Marvin: Wow.   Grogery: A bit of a story for me. Originally, I was sent away from home to deliver something referred to as "the Crystal of Destiny", to an address that was in the Spire of Beasts area. Which is why I left the Windscar, came here, and met these other fine gentlemen. The address was for somewhere in the Spire of Beasts, but it was 100-200 years out-of-date. No one was living in this castle anymore (well, no elves). And, so, you've heard the story of how we ended up attacking one of Annu's caravans that one time, and stole Turmoil out of the back of it?   Marvin: Right, when Baxton was still fucking with you guys.   Dazki: Yeah.   Grogery: We gave it to Morn'Tharur to keep it safe for a while. When we went to get it back, Morn'Tharur wouldn't let us, so I traded my Crystal in exchange for the Turmoil. Apparently, one of the first things that Morn'Tharur ever hoarded as a little wyrmling was a crystal that looked very much like that one. So, he accepted the trade, and now you can see it's hanging in the sunbeam.   Marvin: Wow! That is an amazing story! Absolutely incredible.   Grogery: I mean, I'll never get to complete what my parents thought my mission was — they just wanted an excuse to send me over here so I can be away from the family — but I like to think I managed to succeed in their mission anyway.   Marvin: I'd like to think so too.   Dazki: I like to think you've succeeded beyond anything they could've ever imagined, Grogery.

Joke's On Me

The party takes most of the rest of the day to get scrubbed up for the night's events. Dazki also lends Dwardazik his Glamoured Studded Leather to wear, since it can be worn without looking suspicious, and then hides a dagger on him. On the way back to their house, it's clear that the party is being stalked by someone: a small figure in a dark cloak. As soon as it's spotted, the figure ducks down an alleyway.

Marvin: So, how do you guys want to handle this?   Dwardazik: A strange character going into an alley that might be stalking us? Dazki? Do we really want to go chase 'em down, or do we want to just accept that they know we're coming?   Marvin: I could make it dance?   Dazki: Marvin, why don't the two of us try to disappear and circle around?

Dwardazik and Kesmet make a distraction, enough for Dazki and Marvin to get around to the figure. It spins around suddenly as Marvin stumbles around a bit near it — almost dropping the scroll it has in its little red hands.

Dazki: Something I can help you with? You seem a bit startled there, my friend. (He steals the scroll from them).   Li'l Joker: No fair! You cheated again!   Dazki: Oh, I'm sorry about that, Li'l Joker. (He ruffles the figure on the head.)   Marvin: Wait, you know this clown?   Li'l Joker: Give me back my letter! Give it back, gimme gimme!   Dazki: Who's it for?   Li'l Joker: Um, it's for... it's for me.   Dazki: And who is it for you to give to?   Li'l Joker: I'm s'posed to... s'posed to give it to you, but... you took it, and that's cheating! I have to give it to you! That's how messages work!   Dazki: OK, OK. Here you go.

Dazki hands her the letter, which she snatches away eagerly, before running a bit down the alleyway to hide behind a crate.

Dazki: So, are you supposed to wait until we get home before —   Li'l Joker, whispering: Pssssst! Over here!   Dazki, making a show of looking around: What? Where?   Li'l Joker gets bored of that and comes back out from behind the crate.   Li'l Joker: I have a note!   Dazki: Oh, really?   Li'l Joker: I'm s'posed to deliver this note, because it's really important that certain people don't read the note, and, they said that I should deliver it, because I can't read the note, but I totally can read the note, and I know what it says. You want to know?   Dazki: Tell you what, why don't you give it to me? You can tell me what it says, and then I can read it and tell you how right you are!   Li'l Joker: No, no, I can read it, but I have to look at the words in order to read it! OK, OK, here, here's what it says: it says that "it was really mean of you to leave... to leave Joker without doing all the things that you said you would do with her, and that you owe her thirty-five sweets!"   Dazki: Thirty-five sweets, huh?   Li'l Joker: Uh-huh, yep! That's what it says!   Dazki: Well, tell you what, is your favorite sweetshop around here somewhere?   Li'l Joker: ...I don't know.   Kesmet, who has also made his way over along with the other party members: You know, I've got something that's just as tasty as thirty-five sweets! (He offers one of Deuce's smokey caramels.) Will this suffice? It's delicious! May we have the letter?

Li'l Joker looks left and right to make sure that there are no guards. Satisfied, she swiftly makes the exchange: gives the letter, takes the caramel. She then goes back to the crate, hops on, sits cross-legged on it, and immediately pops the caramel into her mouth.

Dazki, handing her three silver pieces: You can get yourself some more sweets with this.   Li'l Joker: You said you would teach me how to do stuff, and then you left.   Dazki: I'm sorry. We had a really important thing we had to do for Queenie.   Li'l Joker: I'M a really important thing!   Dazki: You are. Do you know where our house is?   Li'l Joker: I don't know where most houses are...   Dazki: OK. I thought you might, since Queen had been there.   Li'l Joker: ...are you guys kissing?   Dazki: No. Not for lack of trying, on my part.   Li'l Joker: ...I think you guys are kissing.   Marvin: OHHH, now it makes so much more sense!   Dazki: Nope — unfortunately, we are not.   Dwardazik: What's this little lass's name, then?   Dazki: She is Li'l Joker, Longbeard.   Dwardazik: Ahh, all right. Well, certainly Li'l Joker may be better off not in an alleyway, alone.   Li'l Joker: Hey, I can handle myself, thank you! I got into this alleyway myself, and I can get out of it!   Dazki: All right, well, we have to get back to the casino for Queenie tonight. I imagine we'll be back down visiting her sometime again soon. So we can discuss and make plans then, if you're available.   Li'l Joker: No, I'm not allowed to go down there!   Dazki: ...ohhhh...   Li'l Joker: That spot's for grown-ups.   Dazki: In that case, come with me. Let's go get some sweets, right now.   Li'l Joker: Yaaaaaay!!!!   Dazki: The rest of you guys, you can head back home. I imagine this may not be... particularly palatable for some of you.   Dwardazik: Don't take too long, there.

When the rest of the party reaches the house, Kesmet tries to read the letter, but it's written in Thieves Cant. Someone has drawn on the back of the letter, with charcoal, a crude picture of a castle that's on fire, with lots of stick men lying on the floor with XX for eyes. Then, with red paint, there's one big X over the whole thing.

---

As the rest of the party head towards the house, Dazki and Li'l Joker scope out a bakery and head in. Dazki expertly shows how it's done, and she's able to take after him well enough not to get spotted. On the way out, however, she sees a guard. Of course, the guard hadn't seen her do anything, but she doesn't know that, so she gets spooked and runs away. Dazki heads back to the house to regroup with the others.

Dazki: All right, Kesmet, you had the letter. What did it say?   Kesmet: I dunno. It didn't really say anything, just a bunch of gibberish and what looks like a child's drawing on the back.   Dazki: Ahh. Got it. You know, Barry understands that.   Kesmet, handing the letter to Dazki: Here. You're the codebreaker, you cracked that Turmoil book. Can you make heads or tails of this?

The note, of course saying nothing like what Li'l Joker said it did, actually says this:

Anything disturbed or destroyed in Card territory, I will do to yours — with interest.   Evidence is not enough, but will be necessary to evade consequences for hassling, interrogating, or "murdering" a friend of the Family.   I have stashed a helpful item in the piano.   (no signature)

Dazki translates it to the rest of the party.

Kesmet: Oh, I thought it was trying to say something about potatoes. Do we own a piano? What "piano"?   Dwardazik: We have a piano now?!   Dazki: ... ... ...probably in the casino.   Marvin: Well, if there's a piano, I would say a bard would fit right at home with a fine musical instrument such as that.   Dwardazik: So, "Card territory" is the city, right?   Dazki: I think in this instance, they mean very much the casino.   Dwardazik: I also don't believe... no-no-no. This is too weird. Why would they even bother making this threat to us?   Marvin: Because they can.   Dwardazik: Well, yes, but it's so obviously implied that it's almost ridiculous?   Marvin: Yeah, it almost doesn't need to be said.   Dwardazik: Hmm... I wonder...   Marvin: But the mention of a gift in the piano, that's much different.   Dwardazik: Of course, but they could've just said that.   Kesmet: Maybe it's a code within a code! What happens if we take the first letter of every word, and then maybe that spells out a secret message?   Marvin: That's a pretty low level of encryption.   Dazki: I think, for now, we take it at face value and see what we can do once we get to the casino.   Dwardazik: "Evidence is not enough", so... if we have to do something, then we need evidence of why we need to —   Dazki: No, I think what they're saying is, get the guy who did it, or the artifact, or both, and don't make a scene about it. If anything is damaged and we don't recover the artifact, then they will take revenge on us for fucking things up.   Kesmet: I dunno, sounds a bit absolutist. Which, to me, reads: in for a copper, in for a gold. We damage anything, then just go full ham!   Marvin: Hell yeah!   Dwardazik: So which interpretation is the one that's important? I don't really want to start anything, but if shit starts hitting the fan, then do we just go all-in?   Kesmet: Yes. I vote yes.   Dazki: ...I vote no.   Dwardazik: I'm not voting, I'm trying to understand what the threat of all this means!   Grogery: Don't break anything. Don't cause a scene. If we end up needing to cause a scene, take it outside.   Marvin: Oh, I was going to suggest we start a riot so that we can just blend in.   Grogery: They'll probably blame that on us too.   Dazki: Make this a quiet job.   Dwardazik: All right, all right. Make it a quiet job. Let's go with that one.   Dazki: And, in the future, Barry does know how to translate this code. I think he may have been a bounty hunter working for the House of Cards at one point.   Grogery: Alfalfa didn't know any "Barra'leth Kuuda", though?   Dazki: Yeah, but she also thought she sent us to the east.   Grogery: That's true.   Dwardazik: And "Barra'leth Kuuda"... I really doubt that's someone's Undermart name.   Dazki: I was doing that on the off-chance that he didn't actually work for the House of Cards, and that he was just a bounty hunter or smuggler that worked independently. But based on her denial, I think he may have at least indirectly been associated with the House of Cards.   Marvin: My theory's still that the bodysnatcher got Alfalfa.   Kesmet: OK, let's head on over there.   Dazki: And guys, don't take the free drinks, OK? They're just there to get you drunk and make you spend money.   Marvin: That's how they get ya.   Dazki: And I'm going to leave most of my money here. Taking a very small portion with me.

The others follow suit, and they make final preparations, spending lots of time on disguises and clothing choices... well, most of them do. Kesmet is more focused on making sure he can pack as much of his gear with him as he can.

Barry: You know, it would be a lot easier if you just had a cool hat like mine.   Dazki: Yeah, unfortunately we can't all be as lucky as you, can we? You're just too awesome, Barry.   Barry: ...it's a really nice hat!   Marvin: Are you coming with, Barry?   Barry: Noooo, no-no-no-no! No!   Marvin: Why not?   Barry: Nope. Nope! Nope. That's where people go to get murdered!   Marvin: True, but that's where all the fun is!   Barry: Naaaaaaah, gettin' murdered doesn't sound like fun!   Marvin: Well, it might not be you that gets murdered! And in that case, it would be fun!   Grogery: Murdering people isn't fun...   Marvin: No, I'm just saying being present... OK, well, being present for it isn't fun either...   Dazki: So, what do you know about the casino, Barry? Other than that it's where people go to get murdered?   Barry: Well, it's... I don't think you're supposed to murder in the casino.   Dazki: No, absolutely not.   Barry: I was being hyperbolous. Which is a word I apparently know! (He gets out his journal and writes it down.)   Marvin: It's funny what you can do when you know so many superfluous words!   Barry: ...um... I don't know if I've been to casino.   Dazki: OK.   Barry: ...have I been to the casino?   Dazki: You would know better than I would.   Dwardazik: It's probably a place you liked. Or hated, I don't know. One of those two would probably be it, though.   Dazki: I suspect you've been to the casino, but I'm not certain.   Barry: Am I fancy enough to go to a casino?   Marvin: As long as you believe!   Barry: Well, go find evidence of me being in that casino, then! I decree it!   Dazki: We'll do our best.   Dwardazik, rolling his eyes: Uh-huh...

To the casino!

Trouble (Getting) In(to) Paradise

The casino is adorned with red and purple sun shades made out of silk. Above it all, the familiar imagery of a coconut tree, two dice hanging where the coconuts would be: the symbol of the Paradise Casino. The entrance to this building is swarming with elites, mingling around the door, which is manned by two individuals who seem to be determining who may enter: a purple-skinned tiefling adorned in silver and sapphire jewelry and a nice violet tailored suitcoat, and a stoic female half-orc in more stock standard garb — absolutely jacked, and you get the sense that there is no way that anyone was going to convince it to wear better clothes than what it is currently wearing.

Dwardazik: Dazki, you think we could just get in?   Dazki: Wade through the crowd, and then yeah, I don't see any problem with it. Kesmet might take a little convincing, but it should be an issue — especially since they know we're coming and that we're supposed to be here.

The tiefling is very judgmental. The half-orc barely says anything except to agree — with short grunts or phrases — to whatever the tiefling says about other people's garb.

Dwardazik: You know, we could mingle with these people, but... frankly, might as well just get ourselves in there.

They make their way up to the front. The tiefling clearly doesn't like Kesmet's plan traveling clothes, going so far as to block the door, putting a finger out.

Tiefling; Not you. You are aware of where you are, right?   Dazki, stepping up to him: Listen, my friend. We are expected here today, by... a certain person. I'm sure she told you we would be coming? We have important business to take care of regarding her "affairs".   Tiefling: Um, nobody's going in here looking like that. You could be the Firelord himself, and I would still ask you to put on a decent suitcoat.   Dwardazik: Hey! Yer noticing him, ain't ya? He's, like, the center of attention! Maybe you're just not "with" the new fashion style, eh?   Kesmet: In my experience, it's not the clothes that make the man, but the other way around. My stuff is clean!   Dazki, slipping him 5 gold and whispering quietly: Listen. Queen of Hearts is expecting us to be in there tonight, for some very important business. You need to let us through, now.   Tiefling, meeting Dazki's volume and tone: So, I don't know if you know this, but: I ain't a homeless person, and not every tiefling is part of the Mafia. So, I couldn't care less what she thinks, and I'm keeping the gold anyways.   Dwardazik: Well, Kesmet... I guess you're just too damn dirty to come in! If only you could make all that dirt disappear, then you could come on in, know what I mean?   Kesmet, with a scoff: My clothes are clean! They just happen to not be fancy!   Tiefling, still straight to Dazki: I mean, honey, you're more than welcome to come in, if you leave the riffraff behind.   (Insight 20: Obviously he has a problem with Kesmet. He also notices the goblin. And... you know, he just miiiiiiiight actually be a part of the Mafia.)   Marvin, to the party: Hey, you guys mind if I do my thing?   Dazki, stepping aside: Be my guest!   Marvin: You're probably not gonna like it, though.   Dwardazik: Do hurry, because I need to get in there, quickly. I'm not here to stand in line all day.

Marvin tries to cast Modify Memory on the tiefling, but it doesn't work.

Kesmet: Guys, guys. You go on ahead. We don't all need to go into this low-class establishment.   Marvin: Listen! Our mutual friend is probably gonna be here any minute, and she's probably wondering why we're not already in there. She's gonna start asking questions.   The half-orc cracks her knuckles.   Dazki: Marvin, it's all right. We can head in, I'm sure she'll understand that Kesmet and Grogery had to disappear.   Dwardazik: All right. Well, if you're done... I told you guys you should've dressed better! I've got some gambling to do.   Grogery: I dressed just fine!   Dwardazik: Well, not quite up to snuff, I guess. (Eyeroll)   Marvin: All right! Your funeral once she finds out.   Tiefling: Finds out what?

As the non-Kesmet, non-Grogery party members walk in, Marvin gets the sense that the tiefling doesn't like him, but the half-orc lady slips him a note: "I'm off at 9:00".

---

Kesmet casts a Permanent Image of himself to hang around and do basic routine movements to keep their attention, as he and Grogery leave the area. Then Grogery casts a Sending to Dazki to get enough details to pinpoint where to Dimension Door in. This particular Sending works without a hitch, and Dazki replies with a workable description of a secluded spot in the foyer.

Kesmet: Fuck those guys.   Marvin: Well... later. At 9:00.