Session 91
General Summary
- As the party followed the road back to Ashport, racing against the wildfire, Annu contacted them with details about how the quarantine process would be handled: they would meet Annu at the quarry, and then each party member would be expected to submit all their equipment and goods for thorough examination. They would also need to be able to recount anything out-of-the-ordinary that they experienced during their journey.
- They took an uneventful long rest at the end of the day's travel.
- Before meeting with Annu, they sent Barry up ahead with Dazki's Book of the Mirage and Embroidered Mantle of Spell Resistance, Baxton's Ring of Mind Shielding, and Vicra's Map of Exignis, believing it unwise to allow Annu to discover any of those (including Barry himself).
- The party proceeded to the quarry to meet Annu alone (plus a handful of Fireguard).
- Each party member was made to disrobe and submit to a full cavity search.
- Dwardazik, in particular, had his gnarly tooth ripped out, with black tendrils and screams of children following it out.
- Grogery also doesn't get off completely clean: his inconsistent problems with the Sending spell are concerning to Annu, and the goblin has been "requested" to remain within Annu's operating area until further notice.
- After probing each person and their equipment, Annu seemed conflicted when trying to communicate something to them. He was especially unable to give straightforward answers when questioned about illegal Turmoil research happening within the city, which seems to somehow be outside of the jurisdiction of his own House of Crystal.
- After an inappropriately timed joke from Marvin, Annu was inspired to tell a "joke" of his own, to try to "increase empathy and comradery".
- Annu released the party. They regrouped with Barry and went to their house for the night... but the gate and doors were left unlocked. It has been visited by at least two entities:
- The Queen of Hearts (probably only once, just to leave her calling card)
- Rosalin Violett, who has been staying here for a while, taking Dazki's earlier invitation and the complete lack of any security measures to mean that this was allowed.
- The next morning, Rosalin agreed to do some basic upkeep on the house while the party is out, since she's staying there anyway, and the party planned their next moves. There's a lot that they need to do while in Ashport, so they started at the Cathedral of Light to give Isaiah and Alice an update on the progress of their mission.
- At the Cathedral, Dazki publicly embarrassed Alice with some clever wordplay after dodging one of her trademark punches, causing her to storm off, so Isaiah stepped in to listen to what the party had to say.
Full Recap
The party spends the rest of the day traveling at a fast pace along the road towards Ashport. When they get reasonably closer, Annu sends them a message through the cellstone:I will await your arrival at the Abandoned Quarry with an adequate number of Fireguard. Proper preparation will decrease the length of time sequestered by the Turmoil exposure, examination, and elimination processes:They ponder the implications of this message for a while.Turmoil is undetectable, so the processes in place are harsh and inefficient.
- You will ensure that all equipment and goods are readily available for investigation and potential removal if deemed suspicious or illegal.
- You will log any differences or inconsistencies that you recall physically or emotionally — in fine detail — as well as any instance where something unexplainable has happened, no matter how minute the detail may be.
Dazki: I'm going to assume that he does not know that Barry is with us, so we can send him ahead and have him stay at the Horseshoe Road Inn. Marvin: Well, Barry also didn't go into Vicra's Lair, nor did he go into Overlook, so — Dazki: No, but Turmoil turned him into the fish person. Marvin: Right, I'm saying that we have plausible deniability. Dazki: Yeah. Kesmet: Is Barry going to be able to handle being on his own for long enough to get into town? Marvin: Well, he found those horses on his own! Barry: Yeah! I found the horses all by myself! Grogery: He seems to be pretty good at navigating. Dazki: Yeah, I'm sure Barry will be fine. Kesmet: ...all right. Dazki: Won't you, Barry? You've got your money, you know where the inn is. You'll be able to get there, no problem. Dwardazik: "...all equipment and goods", does that include Baxton's Ring of Mind Shielding and everything??? Grogery: We could send them ahead with Barry. Dazki: I don't know that I want Baxton's ring with Barry... Kesmet: He did, once, want Barry dead. Tried to sell that to me. Grogery: He "once" wanted all of us dead. Dwardazik: I'm just sayin', this seems awfully thorough. Grogery: We're gonna have any magical items picked off of us. Dwardazik: I know! And how many things are we trying to keep secret from Annu and the others? Grogery: Basically, it's just Barry, the Embroidered Mantle of Spell Resistance, and the ring? Dazki: Just Barry and the ring. We turned over everything from Baxton that was relevant. Dwardazik: What about your book that you've been studying every night? Marvin: Maaaan, he's gonna want to take The Mask of the Wasted Breath. Dazki: Well, we might get it back. Grogery: Unless it's Turmoil-corrupted. And if it is, you don't want it back. Dazki: I'm sure he's going to give us all of our stuff back, once it's proven to not be corrupted by Turmoil. Dwardazik: I dunno... I don't really see a guarantee on that. Dazki: We've gone this far trusting him. At this point, we don't really have a choice. I don't want to be on the run from Annu, and from the law in Ashport again. Grogery: I want to be able to come back to Ashport. We have a house there. Dwardazik: I understand that. Just, why does Annu get to search through everything that we have? Grogery: Because some of us have been injured by Turmoil, and it needs to get taken care of before it can spread to anyone else. Dazki: We, and everything we have, has potentially been exposed. It's a reasonable precaution to take, to try and make sure everything is clean before entering the city. Marvin: They're not gonna do cavity searches on us, are they? Dazki: I sure as hell hope not. They'll probably have a way to detect magic or Turmoil on us, without actually having to "enter". Marvin: They'd better not! No one's stickin' their fingers up my butt! Dwardazik: They'd probably just turn you to stone, and then surgically remove it later. Dazki: I don't know, he said they had been making progress. The impression that I got was that some of the people had been surviving. Grogery: Besides, I have access to pretty powerful restoration magic, a lot stronger than when I left Ashport. So if any of us get too badly hurt, I can help a lot. Maybe not to the point of regenerating limbs, but... a lot of stuff. Dwardazik: I have my suspicions, but if you think everything's gonna go all right... Dazki: I think it will go well enough that we will walk away mostly unscathed. Grogery: We're Annu's outside advisors, and we are taking out all these Turmoil people, so he wants us to still be effective. That's kind-of why he let us go. Marvin: Is he giving you guys a budget, at least? You know, funding for this dangerous work? Grogery: We have access to a bunch of stuff in Ashport because we can claim "outside advisors". ...I think. Dazki: Yes, and our funding was also "we don't get arrested and executed by the firelord". Marvin: Hey, that was you guys. Kesmet: No it wasn't! We got tricked into committing all those crimes! ...what crimes did we commit again? Dazki: A lot of terrorism-related charges. ...and murder. Kesmet: Most of it was bull. The murder was self-defense (I think). Dazki: That's certainly what we led Annu to believe. Marvin: Well, again, it's probably gonna be fine. Let's just see what he has in store for us. Grogery: So this is kind-of an awkward time to bring this up, but we are basically a bit more than a day away at this point. Obviously, I have something going on with me, because Sending is inconsistent. Inconsistencies and random things seem to be kind-of a fingerprint for Turmoil-related stuff. Obviously, Dwardazik has whatever's going on with his tooth. Is anyone else feeling anything? Marvin: Nope! Nothin', nope! Kesmet: I mean, I lost my memory. Is that it? Dazki: No, that's not Turmoil, it's Altzmyr-related magic. Entirely mundane. Kesmet: That's so weird, that the weird shit that's happening to me is somehow not Turmoil-related, but all you guys are fucked. Dazki: I've not noticed anything either. Marvin: Nothin' here! Nope! Nuh-uh! Dazki: At the very least, though, we should make sure that the ring remains in the Bag of Holding. Grogery: We could present to Annu everything that left the Bag of Holding, since Turmoil acts so weird when you put it in a pocket dimension. If we had put something contaminated with Turmoil in here, it would have caused... a lot of stuff. That's why we have these, like, fetus eggs outside of it. Marvin: ...what about "fetus eggs"? Grogery: Remember when we found these egg-shaped rubies with a... thing... inside of them? I'm pretty sure those were how Vicra was making his simulacra, which was where the ragmen were coming from. So they're probably Turmoil-related, considering that we saw Baxton using similar stuff. So if we put the ring and the cloak in the Bag of Holding, Annu has no reason to believe that anything in there has been really contaminated, considering that the bag is still functioning as intended. Dwardazik: You know he's gonna want to check that bag. Dazki: Maybe. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Dwardazik: I'm just sayin', prepare for it. Kesmet: I thought that saying was "we'll burn that bridge when we come to it"? Grogery: ...no. Dazki: It might be that way among Genasi, but among Elves and Humans and the like, that's not the saying. Probably just a cultural difference. Kesmet, looking slightly appalled: You just assumed! ...assumer! Dazki: ...based on what you have told me about what your experience was, yes, I assumed. Kesmet: No, people totally say stuff about burning bridges! That's totally the saying! Dazki: I completely believe you! Marvin: By "saying", you mean that it's a metaphor. It's not something that you actually carry out. ...or is it, Kesmet? Kesmet: It's been a while since I've literally burned a bridge. Not a lot of 'em are made out of flammable materials nowadays. Marvin: Very true! Dwardazik: Wait a minute, how many bridges are you burnin'?! Kesmet: None, recently! I just told you! Dazki: You see? There we go! No need to worry. Dwardazik: Hey, look, this looks like a good area to set up camp!
Night
First Watch: Dwardazik
Nothing of note happens during this watch. Dwardazik wakes up Marvin and Kesmet.Second Watch: Marvin and Kesmet
Marvin: So, Kesmet, are you really sure that wasn't your doing back there? Kesmet: What? Marvin: The wildfire! Kesmet: Of course not! That was way too far away. Marvin: I've seen you make some pretty long shots. Kesmet: Yeah, but that was straight downward when I was flying. Marvin: Hey, man, I don't know how hard it is to make those shots! Kesmet: Also, they were potshots. I was just tryin' to blow stuff up. Wasn't even aiming. Marvin: Yeah, but you seem to aim around us just fine. Kesmet: Oh, no, see, that's, like, part of the magic. I just make the fire ignore you guys. Marvin: That's dope. That's real dope.Nothing of note happens during this watch. Marvin and Kesmet wake up Dazki.
Third Watch: Dazki
Dazki keeps watch, but mainly focuses on deciphering the final chapter of The Book of the Mirage. Nothing of note happens during this watch. Dazki wakes up Grogery.Final Watch: Grogery
Dazki continues reading the book, uncovering the secrets of its final chapter. Nothing of note happens during this watch. Grogery and Dazki wake up the others.Last Leg of the Travel
Dwardazik makes breakfast for the party, and they eat.Dazki: All right, Barry, we'll meet you at the Horseshoe Road Inn, in a few days. Barry: Aren't you gonna give me a bunch of stuff so it doesn't get destroyed? That guy really likes to destroy things. Grogery: Yeah, Baxton is kinda panicking about getting killed. Marvin: Oh, is he now? And why should we care? Grogery: It's kinda funny, but — Marvin: It is. Grogery: — but it's also kinda sad. If Baxton thinks there's a realistic chance of something happening to him, then we might want to do something. Dazki: All right. So, the book, the cloak, the ring, and the map. Marvin, you said you were worried about the mask? Marvin: Yeah, but, if it's actually contaminated by Turmoil at this point, ... it's just a trophy for me at this point, so... if he wants to burn it, then whatever. If not, and it's all good, then I get to keep it! And I don't need to be worried about it, you know, infecting my mind castle! Dazki: Sounds good to me.They give those items to Barry, with very specific instructions to care for them.
Grogery: Also, Baxton thinks that Annu is a pyromancer, specifically, which is interesting. If we really wanted to get leverage, we could say that we have an idea of the next location, and if any one of us get killed by this (or seriously injured), then it would harden the rest of us against his cause. Dazki: If you're that worried, then Dwardazik, go with Barry. Grogery: I don't think that's a good idea. Dazki: I don't either, but if he's afraid, then he can run away. Marvin: The ultimate technique! He'll never see it coming! ...no, I'm lying, he'll totally see it coming. Grogery: He'll notice when we don't come back with Dwardazik. Dwardazik: Just tellin' ya, if Annu tries to light me up with a fireball, I'm tearin' him down. Dazki: That is entirely fair. Dwardazik: And this time, we won't let him go away like Eyesore. Grogery: The difference, here, is that Annu should honestly know better. Dwardazik: He should, but he's like a machine. Hard to convince that thing to do anything besides follow its programming. Grogery: We convinced it to let us deal with Morn'Tharur, the way we wanted to, and it worked out. Dwardazik: Barely, but maybe there is a silver lining here. Kesmet: He doubted us until the very end. He was like, "I'm gonna wait here for you to fail". And then I got to throw a fork at him. Dazki: So, hey! Maybe he has learned that maybe we are more effective than he previously believed. And, hopefully, that will factor into his assessments in the future. Dwardazik: We'll see.
Quarry
At the abandoned quarry, there is one individual with roughly five or six Fireguard. Nobody else with any actual intellect.Marvin: Wait, him? I thought Annu doesn't leave Ashport? Dazki: He told us that this quarry is roughly the limit of his "range". Marvin: Ah, he has to go back and get a refill? Grogery: Ha, he has to go back and regenerate in his coffin — wait, I really hope he's not a vampire. Doesn't seem like one. Marvin: Would we even know? Grogery: Oh man, he avoids the sunlight, actually! He's under that armor the whole time. Kesmet: When I threw the fork at him, he did tell us that he doesn't need to eat. Grogery: Oh man, I really hope he's not a vampire, because that would be pretty morally "questionable", drinking the blood of the innocent. Kesmet: Wouldn't a vampire consider that "eating"? And, therefore, he's not a vampire? Grogery: Did he say he doesn't need to eat in general, or that he didn't need to eat then? Kesmet: Hmm, he did phrase it like, "I do not consume food". Grogery: Anyway, is this the first time you're seeing Annu, Marvin? Marvin: Yeah, and I'm not looking forward to it! Kesmet: Why not? Marvin: Just a hunch. Dazki: Because Annu's a scary motherfucker? Marvin: Yeah, that. Grogery: He likes it when people talk efficiently and don't dress up their words too much. Kesmet: He's scary, at first. Dazki: And then he's still scary, at second. Kesmet: But is he, though? Dazki: I mean... not really, at least I don't think so. Kesmet: Look. Marvin, I have a great idea. Marvin: Oh, I'm already comin' up with a couple of concoctions in my brain. Kesmet: OK. So. I don't have a fork anymore (it was a big salad fork... had to be, so it was very visible when I threw it at him). However, I do have two candlestick holders which — while not a fork — is still a large metal object, right? Marvin: ...gotcha... Kesmet: So. You could, when you meet him, throw a candlestick holder at him. If he doesn't react poorly, you're all good. If he does react poorly, then — well, I mean, what would you expect? You threw a candlestick holder at him! Marvin: ...yeah, I'm not gonna throw a candlestick at him. Kesmet: Not a candlestick, a candlestick holder! A candlestick is much lighter. Although, I do have more of those, so actually — (He takes out a candlestick and offers it to Marvin) — Here you go. I think a candlestick will work just fine, but don't light it, OK?Marvin accepts the candlestick, putting it in his cloak, as Dazki begins to approach Annu. Annu response by raising his hand up, as a form of casual greeting, while Marvin plays a tune on his mandolin singing praise to the power of Annu Adabra as he follows. Annu immediately approaches Marvin, getting right into his space.
Grogery, panicking: He's one of us! Dwardazik: Hail, Annu! Marvin: Tips are welcome!One of the sets of eyes on Annu's helmet begins to glow a familiar — to all but Marvin — light yellow. This enforces the effects of a zone of truth on Marvin, whose lyrics have changed to something along the lines of "Annu scares the shit out of me! He's a big scary man! Or is he a man at all? Who the fuck knows!". Satisfied that Marvin cannot lie, Annu addresses him.
Annu: What is your purpose, following these comrades of mine around? Marvin: Well, they're my comrades now, too! But I wanted to write a story about 'em! Annu: Do you have any ill intent against them or the government? Marvin: No. Marvin: That's an odd question...?Annu turns away from Marvin, releasing him from the compulsion to tell no lies.
Marvin: ...well, a fine hello to you, too! Dazki: Hail, Annu! What say you, today? Dwardazik: Hey, Marvin's a good member! He's been helpin' us out! Annu: This is irrelevant to the task at hand. This process will be tedious, and I would like to get it done as soon as possible. Marvin: As long as it doesn't involve cavity searches. Dwardazik: You'd better not be burning me up, or turning me to stone if we find out that I've got a little bit of a rash or something on my knee! Marvin: You know, I hear they make ointments for that... Annu: I have had plenty of time to think about the possibilities of diagnosing and treating a Turmoil contamination. It's impossible to detect directly. The usual protocol is to find evidence of it acting on something — and then to remove that thing, as well as the surrounding area. Dwardazik: Oh, yes, the fireball treatment. Grogery: It sounds like there is a "however"? Annu: Most of the time, it turns out that the Turmoil had long since gone, and thus the process is very inefficient, destroying and removing things that needn't be. Dazki: Then instead of looking for Turmoil, perhaps look for the absence of anything unusual? Dwardazik: ...huh? Kesmet: That sounds like bullshit, but I don't know enough about Turmoil to dispute it. Dwardazik: How do you find something by looking for where it ain't? Dazki: Let's say that you're trying to find an invisible object that you know is in a box. Like a ring. Dwardazik: OK... Dazki: Instead of looking for the ring, you take out everything that isn't the ring. Then, the only thing left is the invisible object. Kesmet: But what if the ring gets caught on something, and you accidentally take it out? Dazki: It's hard to explain, but I think a more "efficient" way would be to check that everything is normal. If everything is normal, then there couldn't be any Turmoil there. Annu: In order to determine the normalcy of things, I will still require a thorough investigation. Dazki: Seems fair. Dwardazik: Let's just get this over with. Annu: I will allow you to volunteer who will be first. Dazki steps forward. Dwardazik: Now don't go burning him up! Or turning him to stone! Dazki: I'm sure I'll be fine, Dwardazik. It's not a big deal. Annu: I need you to remove your garments. Dazki: ...I didn't think we were at that level of familiarity, but... sure, if you insist.Annu inspects his body — very thoroughly, very obnoxiously. When Annu is finished, Dazki puts his clothes back on.
Grogery volunteers to go next, telling Annu that his Sending feels "messed up and inconsistent", and also possibly his light-based spells.
Grogery: I'm hoping that this is an easily resolvable Turmoil issue, and not the sign of something serious. Annu: A Turmoil issue is never easily resolvable. I do request — while we undergo further investigation — that you stay within my reach. At least within this radius of the city. Grogery: This is fine. Dazki: Grogery, I have a thought. Grogery: ? Dazki: We were just in a city with a large number of undead that you did not actively work against. Did you think of talking with Pelor about it? Maybe it's related to his interpretations of how you acted within the city, not necessarily Turmoil. Grogery: I had considered that — I feel that Pelor would try to take more consistent action against this. If he was displeased with me, then why is this inconsistent? Why not make a specific, assertive call against it? If I had lost all my cleric powers overnight, then yes, obviously. Dazki: All right — I was just trying to think outside the box. Grogery: It's been considered before. Acting on that assumption hasn't actually fixed — He is interrupted by Annu stabbing him in the side with a large needle. Annu: I require fluids for testing. Dwardazik puts his fists up. Dazki: Dwardazik, no.Annu requests the next volunteer.
Marvin walks up, cloak billowing majestically. There is not any wind.
Marvin: So, you ready for your private show?Marvin's cloak billows heavily, so much that it seems to just fly off on its own. Annu asks about the various wounds and scars from previous adventures.
Marvin: When you try to record history, some people don't like that. They try to beat you up for it. I'm living proof that you can't keep a guy down. Fall down seven times, get up eight. ... Marvin: Just... just give me my shit back when you're done with it, all right? I want all that shit back. Annu: I will deal with the equipment after I have dealt with all the personnel. Marvin: All right. Just, if any of that shit does have Turmoil on it, please let me know? 'cause I don't want to be carrying that shit around. If there's Turmoil on it. Annu: Were you aware, previously, that you have a mole on your shoulder? Marvin: Oh? I am now, should I get it checked out by a — He is interrupted: Annu has a scalpel now, and he has already excised the mole. Annu, announcing to the rest of the party: Next. Marvin: That was it? No foreplay?
Dwardazik makes volunteering noises and begins to take his armor off.
Annu: It has been brought to my attention that I should be extra thorough with you.Annu sees Dwardazik's tooth. He grabs a tool and, with extreme arcane strength, begins to rip it right out. Black, gooey tendrils follow it as he does so, and the cries of children can be heard in the area.
Kesmet: Oh, it's me, isn't it. (He walks up to Annu.) OK, what do you want? Annu: I need you to remove your garb. Kesmet, doing so: I did advise Marvin to throw a candle at you, in order to establish friendship, but I didn't see him do that.Annu proceeds to pelt him with questions as he does with the others. The responses are not very satisfying, but as Kesmet has some elemental blood, Annu doesn't seem to worry quite as much about any Turmoil infestations taking hold, so that's somehow enough.
Dazki: All right, well, that looks like at least a few clean bills of health.Annu begins to go through every single item that they own:
- All remaining greater antidotes are confiscated.
- Annu doesn't like the cursed mask, as it can be used maliciously. While he cannot officially commandeer it, Annu does request that Marvin hand it over willingly. He does.
- Annu also confiscates 13 gold pieces from Marvin that seem to have possible imperfections in them.
- Once Annu finishes with the bronze hummingbird, Dazki sends a message to Barry: "Barry, it's Dazki. Don't put on the ring, and keep the cloak hidden. See you soon, at the Horseshoe Road Inn."
- Annu doesn't like a lot of the weird notes that Dazki was carrying on him, particularly those related to conspiracies and necromancy. He wishes to read them more thoroughly, and then eliminate them. Dazki willingly gives up loose notes and any random books he has, and he permits Annu to copy any notes he wants from Dazki's personal notebook, but he wants to keep his own personal journal.
- Dwardazik's calming cigars and snap dragon syrup are also contraband and confiscated (not the cigarettes, though).
- Kesmet's bag of sharp sugar is confiscated (and he is made to pay a 50gp fine for possession).
- Grogery is unable to convince Annu to dodge the Bag of Holding, as "the properties of Turmoil seem to be shifting". The Tumultuous Shard is removed, as are the coins of Speak with Dead (necromatic in origin). The ruby eggs are also confiscated, though he does not specifically overtly react to them.
Grogery: So, that thing with your tooth... didn't look painless. Do you need that wound closed up at all? Dwardazik: I'll be fine. This isn't the first time I've had to pull a tooth. I appreciate the gesture, but right now, I just need to wait for Annu to be done with this. Grogery: Don't worry, once we're back in town, we're gonna buy you another keg, OK? Dwardazik: That's all I want. Grogery: By the way, maybe we should give Morn'Tharur a visit with Marvin, when we're back? Kesmet: Yeah, we can regale him with all the crap that we did. He likes stories. Dwardazik: That does sound interesting. Dazki: Yeah! Hey Marvin, how would you like to meet a dragon? Grogery: Darn it, I wasn't gonna spoil it! Dazki: But we said that already? Grogery: No, we said we met a dragon, and we said that we had a friend named Morn'Tharur. I was going to bring him in and be like, "hey, this is our friend!". Dazki: Oh... Marvin: You guys have been holdin' out on me??? Dwardazik: I guess the dragon's out of the bag... Grogery: We've been through a lot now, so even though we normally wouldn't disclose the location of such a creature within Ashport... Marvin: I'm in.Dazki also repairs Marvin's broken Flintlock Pistol for him, and gives 40 bullets.
Having gone through all the items, Annu "casually" asks how their adventures have gone so far. Dazki gives an overview of pretty much all the information that they've shared so far in the reports, but as he does so — (Insight Check: 24) — he notices that something is slightly "off" about Annu, as if this seemingly mechanical being is somehow being distracted by other thoughts.
Dazki: So, what's going on in the city? Annu: The city is still, functionally, suboptimal. Dazki: Anything directly related to your work, or to the House of Crystal? Annu: The House of Crystal is functioning adequately enough to perform its duties. Dazki: Really? It seems that something is troubling you, and you appear to be married to your work. Unless it's to do with my bringing up Jim and all that happened out there? Annu: I am... conflicted. Dazki: Why? Allow us to advise, and possibly assist, with this conflict. Annu: You are currently hired to assist with the conflict. My catalogue for Turmoil is incomplete. The methods for detecting tumultuous radiation cannot be created, because — legally — research and development on it is forbidden. Dazki: Even for those involved with the government? Annu: It is forbidden. Grogery: So if we perform it (well, obviously, we wouldn't)... Annu: My advisors have been the only fresh source of information. Nobody here is legally allowed to use it. Grogery: Who would be legally allowed to use it? Annu: Nobody is legally allowed to use it. Dazki: OK, even though nobody is legally allowed to use it, who does? Who else is providing research or information on Turmoil, other than ourselves? Annu: I have no other sources. Dazki: OK, you don't have any other sources, but do other people have sources that you know of? Annu: This knowledge is outside of my jurisdiction. Dazki: No it's not. It's related to controlling Turmoil within the city. I would think it to be well within your jurisdiction. Annu: It is outside of my jurisdiction. Dazki: Whose jurisdiction is it within? Dwardazik: Yeah, who took your job, now that I think about it? Dazki: Is it within Biz Abrak's jurisdiction? Annu: It is not in the jurisdiction of the House of Crystal. It is illegal to perform experimentation, or attempt to modify anything, using Turmoil. Dwardazik: Out of curiosity, is there a law on that? Marvin: Well, that's normally what "illegal" means... Dwardazik: I know, but I'm just saying... there's a law on it, correct? I just want to know when that law was passed? Annu rattles off specific mandates and legislation that haven't really changed since the end of The Serpent War. Dazki: Do you have a list of recent citations, for people who have violated these laws? Other than ourselves, of course. Annu: I should have access to that information. I wish to give you information, as not having information is always worse. Dazki: I agree. Would you be able to give us that information here, or would you need to look things up in Ashport first? Annu: Redacted. Dazki: Of course. Annu: Redacted. Outside of my current jurisdiction. Dazki: Could you advise Biz Abrak to give us this information? Annu: He does not have the information. Dazki: Who, other than you, has the information? Or is it written down somewhere? Annu: The individual that has it is redacted.Annu turns away from the party (well, he hovers, so he really just spins in place). As he does, there is a familiar (to all but Marvin) ultra-low-frequency humming sound that sticks in the air. He puts his two gauntleted hands behind his head, appearing to think really hard about something. It's like the gears turning in his mind are the literal source of that vibration. Annu is frustrated.
Dwardazik: Hey, Annu, I've got a question for you. You said that "redacted" knows more information about this. Can you point in the direction of "redacted"? ... Dwardazik: Oh, sorry, could you point in every single direction that isn't the direction of "redacted"? Annu: I am unable to help you. I am unable to help you. Marvin: Hey, Annu... um... who do you have a crush on? Dazki, laughing: ...you're really asking him that?! Marvin: OK, who do you have a — wink, wink — crush on? Who would you like to just strangle to death? ...with love and care? Kesmet: I'm sure it's Kesmet. Dwardazik: Annu's gonna kill 'im... Annu: ...something is wrong, and you are telling jokes? Please be quiet. I am trying to think. Grogery: Hm, that is not supposed to be happening... Dwardazik: All right, let's consider the situation, lads. Let's clarify our objective. Something's going on in Ashport, right? Isn't it basically our main quest, anyway? Dazki: It definitely seems like something that we would be useful, looking into. Dwardazik: Why don't we figure out what's happened with those people who were treated with Turmoil while we were away? Maybe it has something to do with that? Dazki: That's certainly one way we could look. I also have some contacts that I could talk to, to see if there's anything happening that might be "redacted". Dwardazik: Let's think about this, as well. So, Annu's over here. Why would Annu meet us out here? Grogery: So that, if we were contaminated, we wouldn't be bringing anything into the city? Dwardazik: No-no-no-no-no. That's the surface reason. That's the legal bullshit reason. Why did he meet us out here? Grogery: Annu doesn't necessarily have under-the-surface reasons. Even if he didn't, he still would've brought us out here. Dwardazik: OK, yes, he brought us out here in case he needed to blow us all up with fireballs, so he wouldn't have to do it in the city. I get that. But Annu is the most efficient thing that exists. He is ONLY EFFICIENT. Which means that coming out here was somehow more efficient. Which means that he had to leave whatever he was doing in Ashport. Which means that being out here, and meeting us out here was more efficient than meeting us in Ashport. Grogery: Well, yes... Dazki: Yes. You're talking in circles, Dwardazik. Dwardazik: I'm just saying — Dazki: I do know what you're saying, though. Kesmet: There's no conspiracy. Dwardazik: ...something's going on. I think Annu got shut out of something that's going on within the four Houses. Grogery: Well, yes, he lost his position. Dwardazik: No, I think something just happened that's Turmoil-related. And I wonder if we should be concerned about this situation regarding all of the higher-ups. Grogery: I wonder if the information available to him got reduced, because of his reduced position? So maybe there's something that he knows he should know, but it's been redacted? Dwardazik: Oh, I don't know if it works like that, but maybe — Annu, suddenly spinning around to address the party: In order to increase empathy and comradery, I have devised... a joke I can tell. Dazki: Very good! Dwardazik: Oh, a joke, huh? Grogery: Ooh! How many years has it been since you've told one? If it's been a while, we won't judge... Marvin: Oh, I literally cannot wait! Dazki: Guys, let's hear the "joke", first.He monologues:
A woman is drinking in a tavern alone. She is attractive, and not before long, a man approaches her on this basis. This, as you will see, is a common theme of this and many jokes and should help make the joke feel familiar, even though it is one of my own creation. The man sits down beside her and, in an attempt to ingratiate himself to the attractive lady, says what he believes to be a clever line of dialogue: "If I say that I have lost grip on my body, could I hold yours instead?" The woman, annoyed by the man's poor attempts at seduction, uses a polymorph spell to turn the man into a barnacle, which, as we all know, has little control over where it can travel. Somehow, humorously undeterred by these events, a second man approaches the attractive woman and tries a line of dialogue of his own: "My soul is incomplete without you, but I bet with the two of us together, it would give me the strength to go all night long!" The attractive woman, even more annoyed by this second attempt, performs an equally ironic punishment for the man, killing the man and resurrecting his corpse as a skeleton, whose skills and abilities are obviously less than that of a living man with a living soul. Inconceivably, a third man, unfazed by the mutilation of the first two, approaches the attractive woman. This time, as the woman has lost her temper, she addresses the man before he has time to say a clever line. "You saw what I did to that man's body and this man's soul. You must have lost your mind to come over here and think you stand a chance at seducing me!" The man, rather than being scared or put off by the attractive woman's outburst, simply smiles. "How did you know that I lost my mind? I was coming over here to ask if you have you seen it anywhere?"Marvin begins cracking up, as some of the other party members are simply stunned by what just happened.
Annu: This is the conclusion of the joke. Marvin, through his laughter: Oh man, do you mind if I steal that one, Annu? Annu: I am hoping that, by increasing our comradery, you will be able to help me with things more easily in the future. And I will require your help in the future. Grogery: OK. Kesmet: I don't get it. Grogery: I... think I get it. I'll tell you when we get back to Ashport, it's pretty complicated. Dazki: Yup. Grogery: Don't explain the joke. Annu: Hopefully, this has smoothed over some of the frustration between us. Dazki: I believe that it has — or that it will, in the near future. Marvin: Can I buy you a drink sometime, Annu? Annu: I do not drink. Dwardazik: Yeah, that's inefficient. Marvin: What's your poison of choice? Annu: I am immune to poison. Marvin: All poison? Dwardazik: Don't try. I've tried. Marvin: What about drugs? Dwardazik: Do you want to get strip-searched again? Marvin: I don't have any on me now... Annu: I recommend that you be careful with what drugs you acquire, as many of them tend to be illegal in Ashport and its surrounding areas. Marvin: Only the ones worth using! Annu: I have deemed this to be sufficient. Dwardazik: Can we go now? Annu: You can go now. Marvin: I like this guy! Kesmet: And you didn't even have to throw a fork at him! Marvin: I know! He even told me a joke! Dwardazik: I don't know how we're not on fire, but sure. Whatever. Dazki: Thank you for permission to re-enter the city. Annu: Marvin, son of Undersky? Marvin: Oh? Annu: Thank you for the inspiration. It was, indeed, a method of communication available to me that I had not considered. Marvin: I'm... a little shocked, but, uh — Annu: Do not purchase — or acquire, by any means — illegal drugs. Marvin, cackling: All right, all right! I think you and I will get along just fine. Annu: Grogery, remember not to leave the city. Kesmet: And thus begins Annu's illustrious career as a stand-up comedian.The party finishes their journey and arrives back at Ashport.
Be Barry, Barry Quiet
The party reconnects with Barry on the way to the Horseshoe Road Inn. He's being stealthy enough, but he's still incredibly easy to pick out of the crowd.Dazki: Hey, Barry! Our interaction with Annu did not take nearly as long as expected, and went more smoothly than I was afraid it would. Barry: One... two... ... ... Barry: Hey! All you guys are still here! Dazki: Yeah! We are. And you don't have to go to the inn, we can go back to our house. Barry: ...oh yeah! We have a house. Dazki: Yeah! Hey, do you mind if I get my cloak back? Barry: ...it's a really nice cloak... Dazki: I'll buy you a cloak. Color of your choice! We can even have someone make one that looks just like this, if you want? Barry: ...OK, fine. Dazki: Got it. We're going on a shopping trip tomorrow, Barry. You and me! Grogery: Can we also get the ring back? Barry: Yeah, hold on, one second... ... ... ... ... OK, yeah, he says I can give it back! Grogery: Oof, what has that delusional thing in the ring been trying to say to you? Marvin: Yeah, I was gonna say, did he tell you to do anything... "questionable"? Barry: No, he doesn't really tell me to do anything... questionable, what are you talking... no! Dazki: I'll believe you, but what did you two talk about, then? I'm curious. Barry: I mean, he makes some good points, and you guys should definitely listen to him more. Marvin: Oh no... OH NO!... Dazki: What did he say? What "good points" did he make? Barry: Well, he said that knowin' stuff is really important? But knowin' the right stuff is even more importanter! Marvin: Yeah, all right? I see that grammar was not on the syllabus today... Dazki: Well, we can talk about it over some food that's not trail rations, back at the house. Dwardazik: I'd go to the nearest inn... if I had any money to buy somethin'! Dazki: Didn't you have a bunch of money that you left buried at the house? Dwardazik: SHH! You don't know who could be listening! Barry: I'm listening! Dazki: ...we're going directly there. They're not going to make it there before us. Dwardazik: *sigh*. Fine. Grogery: By the way, there's an interesting spell I can try, whenever we have time to stop by the Cathedral of Light. Maybe not today, since it's pretty late, but definitely tomorrow. And all of us need to be there. Dazki: OK, we can go there tomorrow.
Home Sweet Home
Nothing in the house seems amiss. You don't even have to unlock the gate or the doors, though, so that's good... wait... In the basement, all of Dwardazik's buried treasure is still here. Phew. On the first floor, people have definitely been in here. The kitchen and pantry has been used more recently than you guys have been in here.Grogery: Hm, one of my Sendings did go to a random woman whose voice I recognized, but didn't quite know who it was. Might have been someone from the Undermart? Dunno. They might have been concerned and came looking for us, and then found out we weren't here.Dazki and Grogery go upstairs to investigate. It has definitely be frequented by someone or something. In particular, the entrance to the back patio has taped to it a playing card: The Queen of Hearts.
Dazki, with a sigh: All right, looks like we have someone else to go see in the morning... hmm, but why would she be using our pantry? I can't see her really making her own food, that's not her MO. So either she had someone else with her, or there have been multiple persons coming in and out. Grogery: Maybe she noticed someone came in, and then she also came in to make sure everything's fine? Dazki: ...maybe, but I feel like we're not quite that important to her. Grogery: If she was the last one here, then she might have left the door unlocked on purpose, to let us know that someone was in here? Dazki: ...maybe.Dazki goes around to the various bedrooms to check on them. Immediately upon entering his own room, he hears a woman screaming. There is a lady in his bed, and he has scared the shit out of her. It's Rosalin Violett.
Dazki: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Sorry! Didn't mean to walk in on you in the middle of your rest, but... this is our house. We are home now. Are you OK? Rosalin: Like, holy crap, man! You can't just sneak up on a lady like that! Dazki: ...sorry? In our defense, this is our house. Rosalin, between breaths: It's just, you said I... you said I could drop by, and... I mean, this room looked perfectly made up for a guest, and I assumed that you'd be back, and... and, so maybe I should... there's really nowhere else for me to sleep, and it was really nice of you to let me... but you gotta knock before... entering a guest room! Dazki: Yeah, sorry, this one's my bedroom. Rosalin: But this is... this is the only room with a bed, really? So, I assume you would... since you invited me over... Dazki: We were in the process of furnishing the house and got called out of the city on urgent business. I was the only one who had the foresight to purchase a bed. Rosalin: Well... um... Dazki: No, you can stay here. It's fine. Grogery: We need a guest room anyway. Dazki: I apologize, and we can talk about things and figure stuff out in the morning. For now, good night. And I apologize for interrupting your beauty sleep. Rosalin: ...'cause you... OK...Dazki leaves the room. He feels Baxton's cloak on him and realizes how much worse that probably made it. He sheepishly takes it off, as Dwardazik comes running up the stairs.
Dwardazik: Is everything all right? I heard someone screamin'. Was that you, Dazki? Are you in trouble? Dazki: Shh. No, it's Rosalin. Dwardazik: Huh? Dazki: The woman we saved from Baxton, who had the... (He motions to his eye, his finger tracing out a spiral pattern). Dwardazik: Well, yeah. But why is she here?! Dazki: Um... so... before we had to urgently leave the city, I had mentioned that if she needed refuge, she could come talk to us, and we could see about doing something for her. I also gave her information on how to get to my family outside of the city. Well, she came here and decided that this was a good place for her to hide out, because she was alone and afraid after everything that had happened with Baxton. Dwardazik: ... ... ... ...uh-huh... ... ... Dazki: Nope, she made the comment that she's done with men forever, after what happened with Baxton. Dwardazik: Oh, then you'll be just perfect, then!Dwardazik walks away, as Dazki gives him a different finger gesture.
Dwardazik: Hey, Marvin, can I borrow 100 gold? Marvin: About that... ... ...I'm kinda broke. Dwardazik: Ugh. Kesmet: What do you need it for? I've got some gold. Marvin: Do you need to buy groceries, or something? Dwardazik: I just want to borrow a hundred gold, because I feel like I can probably make... ...I just want some gold that isn't dirty, OK? You know how I buried my gold? I'm gonna need to wash it off. I'll give you a hundred of my gold later. Dazki: Tell you what, Dwardazik, I'll trade you. A hundred of your gold for a hundred of mine. Dwardazik: OK. Dazki: Done. Dwardazik: Thanks.Marvin and Dwardazik work together to make an actually, truly, exceptional dinner for the group.
Dwardazik, bellowing at the top of his lungs: DINNER TIME!!! Dazki: ...try to keep it down for our guest upstairs, will ya? It is stil the middle of the night. Marvin: ...no! No, have her grab a midnight snack! She could probably use it before she goes to round two, right Dazki? Dazki: ...*sigh*... Dwardazik: Hey, hey! They haven't even gotten through round 1! Come on, Marvin, we gotta... (He winks at Dazki)... I was thinkin' about this (don't say I never help ya) — (He points out a perfectly good, travel-ready dinner plate that he's prepared) — Dazki, I was wondering if you could find a use for this, somewhere other than the dinner table? Dazki: ...*sigh*... I appreciate the help... Dwardazik: ...so, you are gonna give her that plate? I didn't just make up that special plate for her, for nothin'? Dazki: Sure, I'll run up and bring her a second dinner, if she would like it. Dwardazik: Oh, and make sure to remind her to kiss the cook! (*Wink*) Dazki: I didn't think you had a thing for half-elves? Dwardazik: No, I'm... ...yer not pickin' up what I'm puttin' down... Dazki: I am. I'm just also harassing you. Grogery: She's been through a lot.Dazki and Grogery begins making a list of tasks to do while in Ashport:
- Visit "a friend" down in the Undermart.
- Go to the Cathedral of Light.
- Get some proper furnishings for the house.
- "Probably hire a gardener".
- Get some security.
- Make sure everything is unpacked and furnished.
- Check on the people getting treated at the House of Crystal.
- Do research on where to go next.
- Figure out who Annu was referring to.
Grogery: Oh, right! So the "joke" that Annu said? "I've lost my mind, will you help me look for it"? I think what's going on is that when Annu got turned into... well, Annu... they had to suppress certain parts of his mind and memories to make him behave and not be able to take any action against them. So, that book that used to belong to him? He became a lot more cooperative with us once we got him the book. Grogery (cont'd): So I think — and this is kind-of going out on a limb here, but — maybe if we collect other things from his past, help him remember more of himself, then he'll remember the person that he wants to remember. He kept saying "redacted, redacted", it's like part of his brain is missing, and he's trying to figure out how to talk about it, but he can't tell us that he's missing part of his mind, because they prevented him from trying to ask for help. Does all of this sorta make sense? Dazki: Yeah, it does. Kesmet: ...yup. Dwardazik: I believe so... Dazki: So it looks like we have quite a few busy days coming up for us. Not to mention researching the areas we need to find on the map. Grogery: Maybe we should hire someone to take care of the house, if we need to head out? Actually, we could get Rosalin to do it? Marvin: Yeah, I was gonna suggest Dazki's new girlfriend could stick around. Dazki: I have a feeling she'd be more up for being my fiancée's girlfriend, not mine. Marvin: Oh, right, you're already spoken for. Dazki: No, what I mean is — after we had rescued her from Baxton, she and I took a cart to the House of Crystal while everyone else took care of some of the things we stole from Baxton's room, and she made a comment about being completely done with men for the rest of her life. Grogery: Doesn't necessarily mean that she's down for women, though. Dazki: Yeah, I dunno. I'm saying it would be inappropriate to make a move on her, seeing as she is traumatized. Very recently. So — if it's just me, then fine, but when she's around, maybe try to cut back on jokes like that. When she is present. Marvin: That's... fair... Dazki: Harass me all you want about it, I can take a joke. Marvin: Sounds like she could... Dazki: She had at least a few months of constant mind control from the evil bastard. Marvin: Yeah, that kinda sucks. Grogery: Anyway, I need to talk to Baxton a little before we sleep... Marvin: Tell Baxton that I said he sucks! Grogery: All right. Marvin: Just wanna make sure he remembers. I've never even met the guy, or spoken a single word to him! But I know that he sucks.The night is uneventful.
First Full Day in Ashport
Rosalin is already down in the kitchen when Dwardazik comes down to start making food for the group. It's a bit awkward.Dazki: All right, before we head into town, first we should have a talk with Rosalin. Dwardazik: Yeah, that's probably good. If we're gonna have someone staying with us. Dwardazik, calling over to Rosalin: Hey, Rosalin! It's been a while. Why don't you come have a meal with us in the main dining room? We can catch up and discuss what's goin' on. Rosalin: OK! (She walks over.) Dwardazik: So, uh... Grogery: I feel like our good targets for today would be to visit the Cathedral of Light and Morn'Tharur. Granted, those are places that are kind of close to my heart in particular... Dazki: Rosalin. Did a Tiefling woman come by while you were here? Rosalin: I don't... think so? It's been pretty quiet — well, there was this one really scary thing that happened, but I didn't go see... Dazki: OK. What was it that happened? Rosalin: There was, like, a person in here? But I just kinda hid, and they went away. Dazki: On the second floor, by the big balcony doors? Rosalin: I don't... I didn't go check. I'm sorry! Dazki: No, no, that's OK. Someone left their calling card. Dwardazik: Wait, was there someone else here? Dazki: Queen of Hearts was here. Dwardazik: I'm kinda surprised she would come here herself. Wouldn't she send some kind of minion? Marvin: Maybe. Dazki: Eh. I imagine she's probably still pretty good at breaking and entering. Dwardazik: Ugh. You and your thieves. Rosalin: Well, I mean, the door was unlocked. Dazki: That's fair. She probably didn't even need to break and enter. Rosalin: That's why I assumed. Why would you leave the place unlocked unless you were expecting somebody? Dazki: Yeah. We were expecting you, but then we got rushed out of the city to stop someone else doing stuff like... a certain other person did. Dwardazik: We had to go save the world, lass! We're heroes! (*Flex*) Dazki: Calm down, buddy. Calm down. (Marvin also flexes. Not quite as impressive, in comparison.) Rosalin: All right. Well, you're back, so... that's good, that's good. Dazki: The offer is still extended, if you would like to remain here. Rosalin: I don't want to be a burden, but I can't really stay with my sister, and it just doesn't feel right going back to the club. Dazki: You're welcome to stay around here as long as you like. We are probably going to be in and out a lot — we have government contract work that we have been engaging in that may take us away for long periods of time. Would you be comfortable being here by yourself? We're looking at hiring gardeners and some people to check in on the place every once in a while. Would you be OK handling things like that, while we're away? Rosalin: Yeah, that sounds really good — I mean, yeah, I — yeah, if you'll have me? Dazki: Of course! Of course. I can't say that this is, you know, a... salaried position, or anything. Dwardazik, whispering to Dazki and nudging him a bit: We could slip her a couple of silvers or somethin'? Dazki: I mean, of course there will be money for upkeep of the house, and all that! Dwardazik, whispering again: Just hard to find trustworthy people, is all I'm sayin'... Dazki: So, if you'd like, we'd be happy to have you care for the house and everything like that while we're gone. Stay here, wherever you'd like. Rosalin: Well, I've run a business before. Taking care of a house shouldn't be too hard? If that's OK with you. Dazki: It's more than OK with us. You'd be a welcome addition. Rosalin: OK, well... I guess I'll start by cleaning these dishes??? I'm not exactly sure what I'm supposed to be doing, but that seems right... Dazki: Yeah, I... we'll have to draw up a list of duties and stuff like that, if you want an official list. But otherwise, it's just whatever you feel is appropriate. (Rosalin gathers up the dishes, bows to the group, and runs off to go clean them.) Marvin: Yeah this is... this was not what I expected. Dazki: All right. Well, so... there's that. Anyway, I am OK with stopping by the Cathedral of Light and visiting Morn'Tharur. I do think we should stop into the Undermart at some point as well. Grogery: So, at the Cathedral of Light... part of it was that I wanted to talk to Isaiah and Alice, but I have access to what might be a rather useful spell. Dazki: That would be great. If we are allowed to prepare it there, I would be 100% behind that. Grogery: And remember, it only works if I can grab everybody, so — and this is just as true now as it was in the past! — if people start getting really badly hurt, run over to me! But yeah, I also want to check in with Isaiah and Alice: considering that we originally headed out to take care of the zombie problem, we actually have some news for them now.The party hails a cab to go to the Cathedral of Light.
All Around Me Are Familiar Faces
The carriage driver keeps giving weird glancing looks, but every time you look back at him, he goes back to looking at the road. He gets them there just fine, and Dazki tips him 5 copper. There is no active sermon going on right now, but as usual, there are people mulling about. Alice is not anywhere in the main hall; Isaiah is, though. Busy, as always. Grogery seeks out a nearby acolyte:Grogery: Hello, do you know if Alice is around? Acolyte 1: Yeah, Alice is around... are you sure you want to talk to her? Grogery: Why? What's wrong? Dazki: I mean, she doesn't have a particularly high opinion of us... Grogery: But we have news about the zombie stuff that we were going out of town to try to take care of! Marvin: Yeah, we're the big heroes! Grogery: We've made significant progress, and we'd like to fill her in on it. Acolyte 1: All of this stuff is really above my station... uh, I will pray for your safe return. (She points them in the direction of Alice.) Grogery: Thank you.A small garden area out to the side, sporting a large sundial. More people are over there, and she is chatting with a more youthful paladin. Unlike Isaiah, however, that's not going to stop her from noticing the party approach. Dwardazik and Dazki brace themselves for what's become an all-too-familiar ritual. Alice rolls her eyes so hard that her head goes with it, which seems to have given her a migraine.
Dwardazik, approaching: Alice... Alice, staying put: I'm pretending not to notice you. I think you should just go away. Grogery: We have a lot of news on the zombie problem that we went to go look at. Sorry I couldn't be Sending to you more often, my Sending has been a little on-the-fritz lately. Alice: They're gonna... they're gonna make me deal with them. They're gonna make me go over and talk to them. I know it. Dwardazik: Hey! Dazki: Isn't that your job? We have information related to the undead in the area. Isn't that something that you have at least partial responsibility for managing? Alice: Yep! Very much what I would LIKE to be doing, if not for being stuck here looking after the church! Dazki: Sometimes, being a leader and managing means not being out in the field a much as you would like. You've clearly proven yourself capable of it. Isaiah thinks highly of you, to give you this position. So I think, you know, although you're not in the field as much as you would like, it is still important work you're doing here. So, you know. Lead. Dwardazik: You know, we risked our lives to kill some of those undead who were terrorizing the countryside. Alice: ...you're telling me to lead, now. That's what you're doing? That you're gonna tell me to — that — ... oooooooh... — one second, lad, I'll be right back. Marvin: Oh, this is going well!Alice starts storming over to Dazki. Marvin tries to step in between them, putting his hands up, but it doesn't really do much for the two very tall people squaring off.
Marvin: Alice, Alice, baby, honey, darling, sweety, gravy, please!Alice tries to punch Dazki, as Dwardazik slips behind him. After she misses:
Dazki: Alice, you missed me! I'm a little bit surprised. Now, I know that you probably have lots of personal frustrations that you would like to work out with me since we saw each other last, but — (He motions over to the younger paladin) — do you really think this is the appropriate place to, you know, get physical like that? Now, I know you're rough, and I'm sure I have the endurance to keep up with you, but this is not the time or the place for any type of "confrontation" between us. Dazki, leaning in and whispering to Alice: I can beat you without throwing a single punch. Maybe think twice before doing that again.Alice is red and vibrating out of sheer frustration. Not helping things out are the elderly couple sitting on a nearby bench going, "I didn't know she was into elves...".
Grogery: Alice, Alice! We are actually here to — Alice, slapping the shoulder of the younger paladin: We gotta go. Now. (Alice huffs off like a child.) (Dazki laughs hysterically.) Dazki: I'm sorry, Grogery, I'm sorry, but she deserved that one. Grogery: I understand why you were taking those shots, but — (He pulls out the Scroll of Protection from Evil and Good) — I need to give this back to the church, and I was also going to apologize to Alice for some stuff that was implied when we left. Marvin: Man, Dazki. What did she do to you, man, to deserve that beating??? The absolute smackdown! Grogery: It's been escalating for a while. Dazki: Hey, I didn't say anything that was untrue! Marvin: Oh, no, I totally understand that! But damn, dude. Brutal! Grogery: So, Dazki. I know that the circumstances aren't entirely similar, but if I can hold one of the core tenets of my religion in check so that we can save lives, I'd like to think that you could be a little bit more diplomatic in situations like this. Dazki: Fair enough. Dwardazik: Look, I'm just tryin' not to die, OK? Dazki: I will apologize to her. You have me there, Grogery, I have nothing to say to that. Grogery: So anyway, I'm gonna go after her. Dazki: I think it would be best if I apologize to her... in the future?... if you're OK with that? I can follow you if you'd like, but I think right now would not be the best time. Grogery: I agree. She needs some time to cool down. I'm just hoping that she's not so infuriated by what just happened, and she'll actually speak to us. (Isaiah has entered the courtyard, having been informed of the party's arrival.) Dwardazik: Hail, Isaiah! Isaiah: I feel like it's been a while, but in actuality, it hasn't been nearly as long. Welcome back, travelers. Grogery: Thank you for welcoming us, it feel as though our journey from the town has taken a significant amount of time — maybe a year? Half a year? Hard to say... but it's only been a few weeks! How have things been going back at the Cathedral? Isaiah: The Cathedral is fine, as always. It's sturdy, it's seen worse. It's a beacon of light, in these hard times. Grogery: How has the healing at the House of Crystal been going? Isaiah: Not as bright. Grogery: I am sorry to hear that. Dwardazik: Is something wrong with the healed? Last time I checked, they were in stone. Isaiah: It has been quite an emotional — and financial — burden, cleaning up this dreary mess. Grogery: If things were easy, then Pelor wouldn't need clerics, I suppose... Isaiah: But worry not about what goes on here. I'm interested in how it goes for you! Surely, you've all made it back here physically. How are you feeling, though? Grogery: It's been pretty rough. Saw a bunch of things that I'd rather not actually talk about with other people, being that it is a little bit too... "vulgar" isn't the right word... Dazki: Gruesome. Grogery: Gruesome. There we go. Too gruesome to talk about in company such as this. It wears on the soul. Dwardazik: Tell me some good news, Isaiah. Grogery: It is one of the tenets of Pelor to try to avoid negativity, but a mortal can only do so much. Isaiah: Well, you are welcome to rest your weary souls here. This place is safe. It's welcoming. And it is open. Dazki: Thank you. We appreciate this. Grogery: On that topic, I have been researching a cleric spell that would seem particularly useful to us, which would allow us to define the cathedral as more of a safe harbor for us. You might be familiar with the getaway ritual. Do we have your permission to use it with this cathedral? Isaiah: You wish for this place to be your sanctuary? Grogery: Yes. Isaiah: I don't see why that would be a problem. You mustn't ask me. I merely keep the buildings in check and inform the people of our god's will. It's really Pelor himself you should be asking. Grogery: I suppose it would still be a good idea for us to let you know that we will be performing this here, so that if we all randomly pop in one day, that is what has happened. Grogery: And by "pop in", I mean literally teleport in here. Dazki: Is there a specific place that would be best? Perhaps, away from public eyes, in case there are some gruesome injuries that we would not wish to expose people to? Isaiah: I do appreciate the forward thinking. We do have a location that we use for Word of Recall. You are not the first to wish this to be your sanctuary — and you will not be the last. Grogery: I see. Dwardazik, scratching his head: Can more than one person use it as a sanctuary? That's not an issue, right? As long as Pelor agrees? Grogery: I don't think that should be an issue. Dwardazik: I just... I don't understand your priest stuff all that well. Just tryin' to understand. Isaiah: Back in the day, before this church was as prolific, we attempted to install a teleportation circle. But, as teleportation became more prohibited, we converted the area for more specific needs. This is one of those more specific needs. If you so need it, it shall be there for you. Grogery: Thank you. Dazki: On an unrelated note, Alice is probably in a little bit of a bad mood. Grogery: Moreso than usual these days. Isaiah: She is quite stressed, being cooped up in this Cathedral for so long. I do wish for her to get out into the field. Dazki: She tried to take some of that stress out on me, after I gave her a bit of a backhanded compliment, and then my mouth did not make it any better. So I do owe her an apology, but fair warning, she's probably on the warpath against me. Isaiah, chuckling: That sounds like our Alice. Grogery: I was going to try to track her down, though. We made some significant progress in tackling the undead problem in this area. We determined that the source of all of it was — and I believe this man to no longer be alive — one Vicra Lammergeyer, who was — Isaiah (and Dazki as well, initially): Maybe this would be best discussed somewhere else. Perhaps once Alice has cooled off a bit. Grogery: All right. Basically, we have found the source and made it no longer a problem. Dazki: Your advice, Father Isaiah. Would it be best if I gave Alice time to cool off, or should I seek her out to apologize? You've had more dealings with her than I have. Isaiah: Alice has a bit of a temper. I would suggest you let the whole thing blow over for a bit. Allow her to meditate and rebuild herself. Dazki: Very well. I appreciate the advice and will follow it to the best of my ability. Isaiah: It's not an uncommon occurrence. Dazki: No, but I made it worse out of pride and foolishness. So I definitely owe her an apology. Isaiah: I was joking with another one of the clerics earlier that if Alice had any more temper tantrums or outbursts, we would have to build a room for that too!
