New Here, Are You?
“You’d be surprised how many people stumble in here thinking it’s just another inn.
The ones who survive are usually the ones who listened.”
So. You’ve arrived.
Whether you found the gates, walked through a door that shouldn’t have been there, or simply needed to be here, you’re inside now.
That means the Inn accepted you. Don’t ask why. It never says.
If you’re reading this, it’s because Lars wants you to understand what you’ve walked into. Apparently, newcomers panic less when someone explains things in advance. I remain unconvinced. Still—he asked, and I agreed. So here we are.
What This Is
This chapter will help you… adjust.
There are things about this place you need to know—truths, rules, patterns of reality that don’t behave the way you expect.
To save myself the headache of explaining it all to every wide-eyed adventurer with a glowing sword and a tendency to press unknown buttons, I’ve asked the others to help. The staff. The Maids. The ones who live here, really live here.
They’ve each written their own section. Or… dictated them. Or in Rika’s case, yelled at someone until they took notes.
Don’t take everything they say literally. But don’t ignore it either.
What You’ll Learn
In the pages that follow, you’ll find:
- The rules of the Inn. Not laws. Truths. Things even the gods follow. (Sylvie got to those before I could stop her.)
- An explanation of time, or why it sometimes forgets to behave. (Seraphis will be gentle, probably.)
- A few stories from the Taproom—rumours, legends, questionable advice. (Mouse has good memory. Too good.)
- A rough tour of the Inn, assuming Rika hasn’t flattened a hallway again.
- Notes on gods, demons, and other divine disasters. Tess has… opinions.
- A brief guide to who’s who when it comes to factions, cults, clubs, and other organisations that’ll try to recruit you while you're still ordering soup.
- And finally, what it’s like to live here day to day—the quiet moments, the strange routines, the rhythm of life between doors. Mama Jori will explain. You’ll listen.
Hopefully, by the end, you’ll know enough not to die before dessert.
If You’re Smart, You’ll Listen
This isn’t a normal place. There’s no map. No manual. No one here truly understands the Inn—not even Lars. We just… live with it. Keep the peace. Pour the drinks. Try not to get attached to the furniture.
But you’ve been let in. That matters. It means your story belongs here now.
So sit down. Read. Pay attention.
We’ve lost enough good ones to bad decisions.
And if you still have questions by the end… ask Dave.
If he shrugs, you’re probably fine.
Probably.
Contents
Advice from a Maid
"The trick, darling, isn’t to understand the Inn.
It’s to make sure the Inn never quite understands you.
Talk to the walls. Name your door. Never blink at the soup.
If something offers you a deal—accept it, then renegotiate.
If something growls at you—growl back, but with better diction.
And if you ever find yourself alone in a room you don’t remember walking into?
Smile.
It hates that."
—Sylvie Starfall
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