Session 8: Nomad's reflection

Always when I draw my sword, I only wish to do so when there's a necessary reason for it. When I wield it, I only wish to do so with valor. Having an enemy in front of me, someone or something that seeks to do me or mine harm, something that makes it clear that there's evil intent within it, then my conscious can be clear. As it was for the brief moments when fighting the Black Network and Xanathar's. I can feel alive and true in those circumstances. I often regret that what I'm best at is such brutal violence, but not in those moments. Not when my friends or my family need me. Then I can do good with what I'm good at.
 
But when I saw her face, lifeless, bloody...I realize I started that fight. I put Regulus on that path. We didn't know it was her. Fucking Hell, I'm still wondering how in all of creation she got here and how long she's been doing whatever the fuck she's been doing. But that wasn't what put her in danger. And I know it's not all my fault or Regulus' or anyone's. I just can't shake the sequence of events that led to her dying in my arms.
 
And if it wasn't for Torm...The Loyal Fury saw fit to answer my plea. I don't know why. I don't know if I'm worthy, but he heard me, and I've never been more resolute in my path, whatever the end of my life may lead me to. Even if Torm decides my ultimate fate is to be denied Heaven because of my failings, he gave me Zora back. At least, at the very least, I know I've done something right in pursuing my duty to uphold hope, justice, and honor in his name. Even righteous wrath when the time calls for it. But I dedicate my way to him. Zora is alive because of him. Torm be praised.
 
Now...I have so many questions for my daughter. Especially what she's seen and experienced with this stone. It knows me. It knows my name, and I have to assume, my past. There will be more to learn soon. More twists on this journey. I hope my companions can remain true throughout, for I know I'll need their help. To succeed but also to protect Zora, who I both fear and applaud is beyond my ability alone to protect. And with what Sadachbia has seen, I know there are more trials ahead. We have to be ready. I have to be ready beside her now, despite my best efforts to keep her safe and give her a life of peace...
 
Did I bring this upon her? Did I limit her freedom to choose which life she wanted? Maybe this is always where she should have been. By my side. And maybe then, Orianna would still be beside us too...
 
I wish I could change the past. There's a lot I wish I could change for that matter. But there's that which I can control and that which I can't. For now, I know there are a few things that I can do to help where I can. Illidrex, for example, and finding the one accusing him of his alleged crimes. Regulus and finding his way back to grace. Sadachbia, and our quest for the truth, however frightening that may be. Zora and...Renaer...Much as I'd hate to admit it, both of them trusted us with the stone. Trusted me with the stone. Even when there were devils in play, devils working for a noble family of Waterdeep, they both risked so much to bring us the stone. I respect their conviction and their bravery. What they've accomplished together.
 
So help me Torm, if he hurts her, I'll show him something worse than Hell itself. But until then, I'll help them. Little shits as they are, I'll help them. I have some consulting to do with the Stone of Golorr first.