Episode 2.5: Baku Backups, the Anamas Eve Siege Report
While we completed our investigation of the "Incident at the Buttery Bakery", we sent the children back home to the safety of their parents in Portertown. The Magisters keep a tight lid on our activities in their slice, so we couldn't leave any zaps behind to watch over them. I'm just glad the Baku Backups were able to help!
'Twas Anamas Eve and the Heavenly Council of Ki-rins and its fabled captain, the Dread Baron of the Blackjack was flitting about the night sky bringing Anamas Gifts Giving to the worthy younglings of the Zone, Sovranty, and a little beyond.
The abundant magic of that longest eve benefitted more than just that benevolent host, and Moon Breeze heeded the plight of parents losing their babes to a hag's hunger. She sent heroes to hunt the hag. They found her befouling a bakery into making morsels of her young captives.
They banished the bitch from her coven and into her oven turning the cursed cookie kids back into regular rug rats. Victorious but exhausted they reported to the ki-rin whose heart feared for those freed but unprotected children still huddling in the late long dark. Not yet gifted the protection of the baku fairy by parental neglect, the childrens only remaining hope were Moon Breeze's Barabarian Baku Backups.
The Anamas Eve Siege
There was Chisrick the Boomer with his jolly red suit,
George Cast-anzah the luckiest dwarf you ever knew,
And Shardboar the shifter and his third elbow, too.
They came to the shanties where the vulnerable lie,
And snacked on the Anamas treats still at the food carts nearby.
They asked for the children and were offered Psychic Beer,
But the price was too heavy so out they did clear.
By the houses of the youngest, those warriors hung
Until the the night quiet was split as the hour bell rung.
Then from long shadows evil monsters did creep,
Their presence revealed only by a an eerie soft weep.
Shardboar was the first who heard
And revealed the cruel monster to the second and third.
The beast was revealed to be a hungry jawface
Who planted tooth and claw into George at a quite dreadful pace.
The creature howled and excited at the smell of spilt blood
While his own wounds closed up like smoothed over mud.
The cart vendors ventured over some help,
Cried the drow 'fire or acid will stop the mend of his pelt'.
So, the fighters took a moment from their rage
To light torches and use that fire to engage.
Thus, sword, axe, torch and claw
Were enough to make a corpse of the first monstrous maw.
The danger now having passed,
The cart vendors mentioned that it wouldn't be the last.
They offered the backup baku some much needed aid:
Beer, potions and wisdom since they feared to stay.
The three then rested on the seat of a cart,
Chisrick producing a beer from some hidden part.
The three they conspired, what should they do.
George grew to worry about his beautiful brilliant elven fiance,
Both why she chose him and the invitations for their big day.
Chisrick rambled of delusions from one world or another,
Mentioning his lap far more than one should utter.
Shardboar spoke of the Thaya and the fae,
And his inability anywhere to make some fine pay.
Just before the barbs kvetching was through,
The night was split again by a bell ringing two.
Two more jawfaces crept out from the night,
And Chisrick sensed the younguns faced a new plight.
He leapt into violence with only one flaw,
Placing himself between two hungry faces full of jaws.
Bloody, but not broken his allies came to his defense,
Trying to hoist one jawface over the skeleton yard's fence.
Alas, they failed on both accounts,
As the unhoisted jawface on Chisrick did pounce.
With a wicked claw and a frenzied shout,
The jawface hit Chisrick hard enough to black out.
From the brink of death Ole saint Chis heard a voice,
It told him 'GET UP!' preempting death's choice.
'It hasn't just gotten up in years' Chisrick complained
As his eyes fluttered open with life they should not contain.
He didn't have time to give this miracle a cheer
Instead quickly chugging the gifted psychic beer.
The beer's power left the jawface pacified,
And, rendered so, just like the others it died.
With the melee over, some of the parents came to aid,
Offering a magical candle the barbs could not activate.
They thought to call George's fiance who begged them to not,
For upon her the burden of those invitations was still wrought.
The parents then shrugged and said 'well we have what we need,
With just a red hat and the confidence of a man the magic is freed.'
You can't have my hat.' Chisrick then pouted,
And none of them were men no matter which parent you counted.
'It is for the children, for Anamas! Doesn't that count.'
Chisrick conceded and freely offered the asked amount.
As for the competence of a man man that they needed,
It was the kind of thig George's luck apparently exceeded.
So, they all went to the house of the last child in danger,
And the mother would not open the door for any inhuman strangers.
The barbarians just pushed in and said its just your neighbors,
We're just here to save them as Moonbreeze's labor.
'We don't heed heathen horses here!' the mother cried,
But an eerie noise from the shadows forced any argument aside.
Chisrick moved in close to her and offered a seat on his lap,
She eyed the big man then whispered maybe when the children go to nap.
Then, magical candle light flooded the room,
Grass rose from the planks, all evil was subsumed.
So, magically hidden, the group weathered three more peals of the bells,
As dawn slowly crept up to end this strange Anamas night hell.
The danger had not yet passed when by their ears was a cackle caught,
'Oh, I can smell past your sneaky magics my tasty tasty, tots.'
So, the baku backups stood up to face the new peril,
And opened the door to find a hag with a grin quite feral.
Chisrick, still buzzed, didn't seem to look above her chest,
And offered his lap to her for a chat and a rest.
The hag grinned hungrily, "Oh, I'd love to be on your lap, my dear."
So, Chisrick let her on his lap with a smile and a beer.
Then something happened beyond belief.
The magic of Anamas poured out some blessed relief.
For as the blackjack and Kirin's crossed up above,
The hags green leathery bitch heart filled with love.
The beer made her body perfectly round,
And Chisrick's long lost get-up was finally found.
Moon Breeze then appeared tired from her flight,
And thanked the Baku backups for saving the night.
The warriors then received their own Anamas gifts,
Though Chisrick seemed to already have his.
For Haunting Annette Boulderslide
Soon became Auntie Annie, Boomer's bride.
George found his beloved dead from overdosing envelope glue,
But his would be father-in-law hired him for a skyship racing crew.
Shardboar took over the slain hag's bakery and cart,
But for lack of baking skills he had a rough start.
That is until some lost children wandered through the door,
Unable to find parents or any place but the store.
Shardboar smiled and said I'm an orphan too,
And I'll happily share this place with you.
The Brave Boar Bakery
Blanche's Buttery Bakey has been renamed the Brave Boar Bakery. The kids named it after Shardboar told them the story of protecting the children on Anamas Night. Moon Breeze replaced the cursed Transmog Oven with a new magical oven powered by the magic of friendship. As long as the workets in the Bakery are friends, the oven produces the most delicious of treats.