Gourmet Golems

The term "gourmet golem" refers to a subset of golems created from food items, usually cookies, candies, and other sweets. The most common are animate gingerbread men, gelatin bears, and walking muffins. They can be encountered throughout the Kirinal Concordance Zone, but they appear to congregate in the Magister's Dominion slice.

These shy golems are the size of mundane cookies and cakes and they stay out of sight from adult mortals. They reveal themselves to children and love to play with them. They do not want to be eaten, but they can recover from the ocassional nibble. As long as a crumb of them remains, they can slowly regenerate their bodies over time.

Do you know him? by Chris L - Midjourney

On the Origins of Animate Foodstuffs

In a high magic area such as the Zone inanimate objects coming to life is not that uncommon. Before every meal, Kirinalos habitually say "Tabi Tabi Po" to alert anything that might have become sentient to get off the table.

The Constructed

Some gourmet golems were intentionally created by mages or magewrights. The animation of humanoid or animal shapped cookies is a common exercise for apprentices of the magic arts. There are bakeries and restaurants that specialize in animated foods that are intended to be eaten.

They need to be licensed with the Zone Ministry of Edible Authorization to ensure that the items on their menu are not sophonts.

Kookie Kaiju by Chris L - Midjourney

The Possessed

The Zone is full of minor spirits, bogies, that seep into the world throughout the Days of the Week. These include Elemental motes, spirits of Shadow, creatures of Faerie, and even Heavenly cherubs. Flocks of minor supernatural beings are a commong sight in the Zone.

Although mostly harmless, these bogies are mischievous and love to play tricks. One of their favorites is entering small objects and animating them. Entering food right before a meal is a perennial favorite, but a quick "Tabi Tabi Po" or other blessing can eject the bogie before a meal.

Most Kirinalos wear a variety of Agimat and other apotropaic substances to ward off extraplanar spirits. Only the foolhardy or those with religious objections refuse to wear a full complement of protective charms.

The Transformed

Chocolate Chip Kid by Chris L - Midjourney

The most sinister type of gourmet golem are the transformed. These are unfortunate souls who were transformed into animate food objects through dark magic. There are rumors of Transmog Ovens that operate in the dark corners of the Zone. Through a dark ritual, these ovens can transform people into gourmet golems. The unscrupulous can then use the golems as a renewable source of ingredients. They break off pieces of the golem to use in recipes, allowing the golem to slowly regenerate in a "sustainable" manner.

Genetic Descendants

Cover image: by Chris L - Midjourney


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