Session 111

General Summary

• Strider admitted that he had originally mistaken Dazki's trusting nature for an unspoken understanding from an old friend.
• He clarified that he was supposed to meet an old friend — whom he had assumed meant Roamer — at Igo's Altar right when the party had shown up, the first of a series of events that was supposed to end with him throwing the Rotor of Return into the Swamp.
• As the rest of the party tried to make sense of this, Grogery secretly checked the Bag of Holding, finding that the Rotor was (somehow) in there.
• During the conversation, Strider accidentally let slip that he believes that they are very close to the tunnel.
• The party secured the rest of the encampment and did some minor fortifications (mainly just a simple makeshift alarm) and were about to start a rest when "The Metronome Man" himself walked into their hut.
• A Fire Bolt from Kesmet didn't properly damage "The Metronome Man", to which he cryptically responded with, "I am here with you, but you cannot reach me."
• He offered to give them The Hounds Guild now that he no longer needs them, and claimed that he wanted the rest of the pieces of the Orrery of the Wanderer to "stop a mistake from happening — a mistake that has happened", admitting that he knew that the party would not willingly give them to him.
• Intrigued, the party agreed to at least hear what he had to say.
• As "The Metronome Man" began to tell his tale of how he had come up with "a new dispersal mechanism for one of [his] Custodian Engines", the world around them transformed.
• The party suddenly found themselves back in time, where a large meteorite had just impacted the ground, starting a massive fire. A large machine rose from the impact site and began to attack. Dazki immediately shot out one of the machine's legs, briefly destabilizing it.
• Dwardazik located a weak spot — a shielded crystal on its back — and started attacking it. Eventually, enough of the legs were destroyed to disable the machine's firepower, leaving it vulnerable to being finished off by a combination of electricity from Kesmet and a flurry of powerful strikes from Dwardazik.
• After the battle (and ensuing explosion), a staticky voice came through the Rotor of Return, and the party suddenly returned to their own time.

Full Recap

Dwardazik: So, what do you have to say, huh, Strider? How could "The Metronome Man" know where we are?   Marvin: He's probably watchin' us, man!   Dazki: We already know he's a powerful magic user, Dwardazik. Do you really need any more information other than that?   Dwardazik: We conveniently go here, and there's a puppet of "The Metronome Man" just waiting nearby? We've been here for hardly ten minutes!   Grogery: It's possible that he happened to be in the area and sensed that we were close?   Kesmet: Or maybe he can teleport. I think the stuff that we're destroying might be teleporting away, and getting replaced by garbage. Same thing with that weird clockwork robot thing.   Marvin: Yeah, he's probably just airdropping these things in.

Grogery: Hey, Strider, are you doing OK?   Dwardazik, arms folded: Well?   Strider: ...all right... funny story...   Dazki: Yeah?   Strider: ...I think I messed up...   Marvin: Oh?   Dazki: How so?   Strider: ...you're not who I think you are, are you?   Grogery: Well, who do you think we are?   Strider: I mean... like... the vibe was there, and why... like, why would you not be put off by speaking to tribesmen, and... like, why would you have even thought to, like, immediately trust me to take you to an unknown location?! It just all made sense...   Dazki: Well, who did you think we were?   Kesmet: If it makes it any better, you're exactly who we thought you were.   Marvin: Wait, Kesmet, who did we think he was?   Kesmet: I thought he was some creepy guy in a swamp, watching people kill each other.   Strider: Uhh... uhh...   Dwardazik: Here we go! The inevitable double-cross. What now?   Strider: It's not — it's just a miscalculation! I was told, by some sort of orcish contact, that I was going to meet a pal of mine, at the location that you guys showed up at.   Dazki: And who is this friend of yours?   Strider: Don't make me say it! You, especially, don't make me say it!   Grogery: Is it a halfling?   Strider: Is it you or not?!   Marvin: What, me? Good ol' Grimes?   Strider: Not you, person pretending to be an assassin. Not you.   Dazki: No one here's pretending to be an assassin?   Strider: He is. He's... and then...   Marvin: Do I really give off that vibe?   Grogery: No, well, Grimes was going to be an assassin.   Dwardazik: You see, basically what we've got here is, we somehow fell onto the wrong side of the equation. So, we're kind-of where we want to be, but we're the wrong people —   Strider: No, no! You're not supposed to be here at all! I've teleported actual colonists here! This is not good!   Marvin laughs hysterically.   Dazki: Well, yes! We were never not upfront with you about that!   Marvin: Yeah, you can't claim we were lying!   Strider: Why would you have just accepted the fact, unless you also knew the plan?!   Marvin: We've done dumber things before...   Grogery: To be perfectly honest, we have been through a lot over the last couple of months.   Kesmet: Yeah, to us, this is just —   Kesmet: Wait, what day of the week is it?   Dwardazik: Thursday.   Grogery: Isn't it a Wednesday?   Kesmet: To us, this is just an average Sunday.   Marvin: Oh, oh right, here, hang on a second. (He removes his disguise.) Yeah, my name's not actually Grimes. That's about the only thing we were trying to mislead you about. The name's Marvin. Nice to meet you, Strider.   Strider: So, Roamer here — which is the person I'm MEANT to be finding — and why else would you have convinced a bunch of fake-ass colonists to follow you around and teleport randomly into the swamp?   Marvin: "Fake-ass colonists"?!   Strider: Well, apparently real-ass colonists! ...oh no... no-no-no...   Marvin: Man, my disguise was so damn good, he thought I was a doppelganger!   Strider: Not you.   Grogery: He probably thought Dazki was the doppelganger, to be honest.   Strider: I dunno, the vibe seemed right, and he seemed to randomly trust me...!   Dazki: To be fair, he did sort-of... doppelgang... as me for a while.   Marvin: Yeah, so, wait, you thought —   Strider: But why would you have shown up there instead?   Kesmet, exasperated: We have our own shit, OK? We have our own shit to do!   Strider: At the same time?!   Several party members: Yeah!   Marvin: You think that just the fastest boat to get from one side of the continent to the other, for whatever reason, wouldn't have people who really need to get over to that side of the continent?   Grogery: It's not necessarily random. We did meet Roamer, and Roamer was trying to rescue Kiirni. He probably intended to take the boat all the way over here, but because he got found out by us, he had to bail. We just happened to be going in the same direction because we were on a boat going over here anyway.   Strider: But why travel two days out into the swamp, randomly to the Altar I'm supposed to meet him at?!   Kesmet: It wasn't random! We had to do our shit there. The coincidence was that it happened to be there. We didn't just randomly go off into the swamp.   Dazki: Because we needed to meet with the werewolves that were there at that altar.   Marvin: ...who are probably dead by now.   Kesmet: To be fair, we also thought that he was somehow associated with the stuff, and this would be a shortcut to make it to our objective, so it looks like we both screwed each other. Man. Really sucks.   Dwardazik: Look. Do you know anything about how to get past The Wall™, and/or how to find "The Metronome Man"? Because that's what we're really after. We don't really care about what you're doing, or what's going on. (He points over to the pile of goo that once used to be an elderly half-orc.) That's our real enemy. Are you with him or not? And if you say you are, I'm not going to hurt you. Dwarven honor.   Strider: I don't... know?   Dwardazik: All right, that sounds like something "The Metronome Man" would do.   Marvin: You "don't know"?!   Strider: OK, listen, man! It's all really complicated, there was a series of things I was supposed to accomplish, and this is definitely not one — wait, maybe it is one of them? Maybe... maybe we're all dumb... no, listen! Coincidence doesn't exist, right?   Dazki: No, it totally does.   Strider: No — no-no-no!   Grogery: Well, sometimes, coincidences aren't coincidences, but —   Dazki: But coincidences exist.   Strider: No, no-no-no, —   Dazki: If coincidences don't exist, then everything is predetermined, and none of this matters anyway.   Marvin: What about when Turmoil is involved?   Strider, murmuring to himself: "Sympathetic man delivers message"... OK, done. Did it. "Old companion fleeing from colonial aggression"... didn't happen. That one... no, but... maybe the rest of the plan is... "Once it is determined that contact has been made... teleported to the area agreed upon... within traveling distance..." —   Dwardazik: "traveling distance" from where...?   Strider, still to himself, as if reading from a list: — "...if at any point the companions need to be abandoned or eliminated, it can be done, but I gotta check with Roamer first..." OK, he's not here... I can ask you, though?   Dwardazik: OK, we do not want to be eliminated.   Strider, clearly addressing Dazki: Should your companions, at this point, be abandoned or eliminated?   Dazki: No.   Strider, back to murmuring to himself: OK... did that... um, "my role is done once the sacred object is gifted to me", then!   Marvin: "Sacred object"?   Dazki: Yeah, I don't know anything about a "sacred object".   Kesmet, presenting the dead man's shoe: Here. This might be sacred. Strider takes the shoe.   Dazki: Can you tell us more about the "sacred object"?   Dwardazik: Yeah! What do you know about the shoe?   Strider: It's not the shoe. It's not in here.   Kesmet: Well, then, I want the shoe back!   Grogery: Well, what is the sacred object?   Strider: I need the Rotor of Return.   Marvin: Oh. Well.   Dazki: Yeah, we definitely don't have that.   Grogery: Yeah, we do not have — how would that even be here?   Strider: But there's no such thing as coincidences! You have it!   Marvin: Had. Past tense.   Strider: Have. I believe you have it.   Kesmet, pointing at the shoe: I'd like the "Shoe of Return" back, please.   Grogery, pulling out the Bag of Holding: ...does anybody have a glove?

The party rifles through their pockets and bags. Dazki gives Grogery a glove, who walks around the side of the building with it. Dwardazik stands guard as Grogery reaches into the Bag of Holding, looking for the Rotor... which is, for some reason, in there indeed. He quickly puts it back.

Marvin: Why would you have thought that Roamer would've had that?!   Strider, getting frustrated: This is the — ...listen. I have a list of things to do.   Marvin: An errand list. Right.   Dwardazik: Who made the list?   Strider: I dunno, I'm assuming a mutual contact between the two of us. A messenger gave this to me, and I'm like, "whatever, I'm not doing anything this week", so...   Marvin: Oh, so you were bored.   Strider: Well, yeah. And you know, it's kinda been a while since I've seen 'im! I wanted to see if he was still with that crazy chick that's gonna try to murder everybody.   Marvin: Oh, he's definitely still with her. Yeah. ...is it a "he"? He can be whatever he wants, right?   Dazki: Well, "it", but, shapeshifter, yeah.   Marvin: OK. Fair. So, here's the thing: that crazy bitch that you mentioned. Kiirni. She was imprisoned, and she was gonna tell her captors where the smuggling tunnel underneath The Wall™ was, so that they could blow it up, and she had this whole doom-and-gloom thing goin' on, but then Roamer busted in and saved her (I don't really blame them for that), and then we found out about contacts with the Hounds Guild, and that's why we're heading up here: because they're smuggling shit underneath The Wall™, we wanted to find out where that tunnel was. We were hoping Kiirni would help. She wouldn't (she left, escaped, whatever), so yeah, it's one hell of a coincidence, but yeah. Did you know that Roamer was planning on rescuing Kiirni?   Strider: I mean... not really?   Marvin: Well, that's what he was doing! Apparently, Grimes (the person I was disguised as just now) was the one trying to —   Strider: The assassin, yeah, I already knew that was the assassin.   Marvin: ...yeah! ...so...   Strider: And they were supposed to meet with those Hounds, but the Cobraleks were gonna backstab the Hounds, but then the Keyherders got involved before that happened.   Marvin: ...right. So, tribal politics aside — because that's getting very complicated and we're newcomers in the Swamp, being "colonists" and all that —   Kesmet: Look, all this is not important. Your list. Does it mention Dennis anywhere?   Marvin: Oh! That's important. Yes, please!   Strider: Um... ... ...   Dazki: He is one of the colonists with the werewolves.   Strider: ...colonist, werewolf... I mean, none of the words say that.   Kesmet: What about "Leader of the Hounds Guild"? "Leader of the werewolves"? Or something like that?   Strider: Nah, I just know a bunch of 'em were supposed to get merc'd over at the other place!   Dazki: All right, so —   Strider: And I did think some of 'em would still be here, but apparently they're dust now. Which is fine — I mean, they didn't have anything to do with my plan, so...   Marvin: Could you help us get past The Wall™?   Dazki: We don't know that we need to get past The Wall™. Right now, we just need to find Dennis.   Marvin: Right. Yes.   Grogery: The Hounds Guild strikes me as an organization who wouldn't really want to do too much stuff on the other side of The Wall™.   Marvin: Fair, but they're probably nearby.   Strider: Why not? I bet it's super cool.   Dwardazik: Wouldn't Dennis do something that you wouldn't be expecting? Like, be on the other side of The Wall™?   Marvin: ...unless we're expecting him to —   Kesmet: Why would he be there, though? Which way's the Altar? Maybe if we go back there fast enough, we can catch one of the werewolves and make 'em talk.   Grogery: Dennis is in a position of power. He has things to lose if the circumstances change. He's not going to want to go into an area full of Turmoil.   Dazki: Plus, the sun is going down. It's evening, and we don't want to roam too far away from what appears to be a moderately defensible position at this time of the evening.   Kesmet: What about those goblins that were just gonna die because of the toads eating them?!   Marvin: I'm sure our paths will cross again.   Grogery: We can Send to them, theoretically.   Dwardazik: I mean, come on. Look. They've lived in the Swamp longer than we have. I think they can handle a day or two.   Kesmet: They almost died on the trip here.   Grogery: Because we had toads that specifically like to eat people looking like me.   Dwardazik: Come on, goblins are clever! They won't do... the same... mistake... ... twice...   Strider: I mean, it's more a numbers game with those, really. As long as there's multiple of 'em, they should be fine.   Kesmet: One of 'em has a broken arm.   Dazki: Anyway. Goblin friends aside.   Grogery, who has recently confirmed in secret that they actually do have the Rotor of Return: So, here's a question. We left the Rotor of Return where we came from. Why would anybody think we'd bring it over here?   Kesmet: We even got a 15%-off coupon in return for it! ....along with other things, but... mostly, the 15%-off coupon!   Strider, looking nervous: I'd, uh, like to remind you all actual colonists that I'm merely just somewhat of a messenger here, I guess? I've got some things I'm supposed to do, and —   Kesmet: Never listen to salesmen that talk inside your head. Rule number one.   Dazki: Well, we do not intend to give you the Rotor of Return.   Kesmet: Nor can we! Because all we have is this coupon!   Dwardazik: You're our accomplice now. I think you're becoming an equal member of the party.   Barry: Hey!   Dwardazik: I think you're gonna have to come with us now!   Strider: No. No! Can I have it, or...?   Dazki: No, you cannot.   Marvin: Why would we have it?!   Grogery, who (again) secretly knows that they have it: How would we have it?! We left it behind!   Dazki: We cannot give you something that we are not in possession of.   Dwardazik: Wait-wait-wait...   Kesmet: Dude. We had to give it up. Wasn't ours. We weren't in a position to actually keep it. In exchange, we got some information and some other stuff... and this 15%-off coupon. You want the 15%-off coupon? Because this is what was traded to us for —   Dwardazik: HEY! That's our 15%-off coupon!   Marvin: Yeah, we worked really hard for that coupon!   Kesmet: OK, fine, fine. You can't have the coupon.   Grogery: So, yes, it could be a sacred object. But we know firsthand how incredibly dangerous it is! Why do you want it?   Strider: I'm supposed to toss it into the Swamp.   Dazki: Why?   Kesmet: Seems like a waste of garbage...   Strider: That's it, that's the end of the list.   Dazki: Is there a specific spot in the Swamp you're supposed to toss it in?   Strider: I'm just supposed to chuck the thing.   Grogery: But why would someone want you to do that?   Strider: Why does anything happen here?   Grogery: Because actions have consequences.   Kesmet: Hey, can you take us back where we started from? Back to the altar? We'll tell you who has it, but he's nowhere near here.   Strider: "Back" wasn't part of it.   Dwardazik: OK, but what were the next steps? Let's work from the end. What is after the Rotor on your instructions?   Strider: I throw it in the swamp.   Dwardazik: OK, what's after that?   Marvin: Yeah then what, do you go chill in the swamp? With your snake girlfriend?   Strider: No, that was the end. There was no other thing.   Dwardazik: OK, OK, what were you planning to do after that?   Marvin: Yeah, not your list, but... you, personally, what's on the itinerary after you're done with that?   Kesmet: Yeah, what are your weekend plans? What are you doin' tomorrow?   Strider: I don't understand colonists' obsession with planning for the future.   Dwardazik: So, he had no plans. That was his plan. It's a good plan. So I recommend we skip the steps, and go straight to that plan! Which is no plan. Therefore, we all have a good day. I say we set up camp here, and we have some good ol' drinkin' fun. Any ale around here?   Grogery: Hang on. The instructions you got were, specifically, that Roamer, in disguise, would come to where you found us —   Strider: I mean, I didn't know he would be in disguise, but it's kinda obvious...   Dazki: Were your instructions for Roamer, specifically?   Grogery: And his companions, specifically?   Strider: Well, I didn't — I, like, thought it was gonna be Roamer. I'm meant to "meet with an old companion who's fleeing from colonial aggression and tribal desperation". So that fits! That makes sense to me.   Grogery: OK, but assuming we're still "on-script", who here would be an old companion of yours, even?   Strider: Well, I thought, but I'm wrong.   Marvin: So, is Roamer an old friend of yours?   Strider: Oh, yeah!   Marvin: So how far do you two go back?   Dwardazik: My back? About three inches from my neck?   Marvin: Oh yeah... Roamer totally stabbed Dwardazik real bad...   Strider: Ha! I bet you're a dick. That's OK, though.   Dwardazik: Me? A dick?!   Marvin: He actually wasn't doing anything wrong!   Dazki: He was actually being extremely racist.   Marvin: OK, other than that.   Dwardazik: Wait, excuse me!   Grogery: If you want to get philosophical about it, if being a dick is just making the future more difficult for somebody —   Dwardazik: Everything I've done has been in self-defense! Roamer attacked me, unprovoked!   Kesmet: All right, let's all just go back to the altar, see if any of the werewolves are alive, maybe grab one of them, and —   Strider: We definitely cannot go back there.   Marvin + Kesmet: Why not?!   Dwardazik: Do we want to go back to that place right now?   Grogery: Is it a matter of needing the magic to do so? Do we need to wait until morning?   Strider: We cannot teleport anymore.   Grogery: Just today, or at all?   Dwardazik: I don't know if I'd want to trust him to teleport us again.   Strider: I'm not sure. It kinda... has to recharge.   Dazki: "It"? It's an object you're using?   Strider: No, no, —   Kesmet: Did you just call your snake girlfriend an "it"?   Strider: The ability! The ability. It's not like it's gonna happen necessarily tomorrow.   Dazki: Got it. It was a gift, and it's a bit unpredictable.   Strider: Yes.   Dwardazik: So, OK, what are we doin' then? Me, I'm lookin' for ale, because this situation is so ridiculous that I'm just interested in drinking it away. But this looks defensible, as Dazki mentioned.   Strider: Here's the thing. If I can't finish my quest, then I think I'm just gonna have to go.   Marvin: Go where?   Strider:

  Marvin: Why don't you chill with us for a bit?   Strider: Because you're actual colonists, so if any other anybody comes by here —   Kesmet: We're not colonists, dammit, we're hobos!   Marvin: Yeah, we're absolutely hobos right now.   Kesmet: We are here temporarily —   Dwardazik: I am NOT a hobo!   Kesmet: You are a hobo!   Strider: I'm not getting stuck in it. I'm not getting stuck in it!   Dwardazik: You're in it!   Dazki: Here's the thing. It's late. Will you be able to make it somewhere better by sunset? Because the sun is going down right now.   Strider: ... ... ...OK, fine. But I'm not staying with you guys. I'm gonna go to a different house. Because you're bein' rude.   Dwardazik, rudely: We're not being rude, you're the one bein' — we trusted you! And you thought we were someone else, so you didn't trust us, after you gave us that whole lecture about us trusting you. And how do you think that makes us feel!   Strider: That was just to get the rest of you people to agree with Roamer's plan, because... *sigh*... OK.   Marvin: You know, under more normal circumstances, I would say "what do you mean, 'you people'?", but we're all different racists, and you're just gonna call us "colonists", so...   Dwardazik: And how come you're calling us "colonists"? I ain't never colonized nothin' here!   Grogery: Again, it's just the word for people who don't come from this area.   Dazki: Did you remember anything of what Momma told us? Do you remember a single word of it?! She explained the whole thing to us!   Marvin: She did, actually. She did.   Dwardazik: I was listening, but mostly just thinking about the next ale that I was gonna drink.   Marvin: Sounds about right.   Dazki: And you complain about the rest of us not having enough of a plan?! The rest of us acting impulsively and dangerously?!   Dwardazik: Well, it was a long ride...   Grogery: Guys, this isn't the place for this.   Strider: And I'm just really concerned about being associated with you, this close to the tunnel. ...SHIT.   Marvin: Oh, we're actually close to the tunnel?   Grogery: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...   Strider: ...no? No! I don't know where we are. We could be anywhere!   Marvin: Could you take us to the tunnel? If we wanted?   Dwardazik: Yeah, or if we wanted to leave the tunnel? Get away from it, in a straight line? Which way would we go to get away from it, in a straight line?   Dazki: You know, I don't think he's quite that stupid, Dwardazik.   Kesmet: Yeah, no, I think he's very smart. I'm sure he totally knows which way to go to run away from the tunnel.   Dwardazik: Look. I trusted him. He didn't trust me. The best thing we can do is have a mutual breakup. We wil go in the direction opposite of wherever he doesn't want us to go.   Strider: OK, first of all, you didn't trust me, you trusted the elf. And the elf, I THOUGHT, was my companion, but it turns out it's your companion.   Dwardazik: Nuh-uh. I disagree. I specifically didn't want to trust you, but I put my foot out there because I wanted to be good and nice to my fellow peoples of the swamp (because I'm not a colonist, I'm a dwarf) —   Strider: Why did you squish that old man, then?!   Dwardazik: Because he was with "The Metronome Man"! He was evil!   Dazki: 1) we don't know that, Dwardazik. 2) that was uncalled for.   Strider: What if he was a real old man?!   Dwardazik: Then he was evil!   Grogery: Then we would be really upset.   Strider: I mean, it wasn't a real old man, it turns out, but what if it was?!   Dwardazik: Well, it wasn't.   Kesmet: In our line of business, it's usually not a real old man, OK? It's usually a bunch of worms that are possessing shovels and shit.   Marvin: So. Strider. Does the name "Metronome Man" actually mean something to you?   Strider: Well, it's kind of more of a concept than a person.   Kesmet: Like a title?   Strider: It's really more of a colonist thing, but —   Marvin: What if I told you that this list that was just given to you by some anonymous sir...whatever...thing, that it was probably just the Metronome Man?   Dwardazik: I disagree, it was probably written by Strider himself. In the past. For the future, for his past.   Marvin: I don't think you've had enough ale yet, Dwardazik.   Strider: OK. So, since you've asked. This """Metronome Man""". It's a force. And it's interested in what's going on in the Swamp. It's colonist in origin, but it's sympathetic. It's a spirit of guilt, caused by war and destruction.   Marvin: So you think this "Metronome Man" force is actually a good thing for the swamp and its people?   Strider: Well, what's it tryin' to do? Is it tryin' to make amends? Rewrite a story? Is it trying to work against, like, —   Dazki: So, we actually do know what it is trying to do. We do!   Grogery: Well, we highly suspect —   Dazki: No, we know! We know.   Kesmet: I wasn't paying attention, so I don't know, but... go ahead.   Dazki: It is trying to change reality so that a force from another dimension that controls what we colonists call Turmoil can rule over this world with an iron fist.   Strider: Oh, so it's just, like, a changing of the guard sort of thing?   Dwardazik: Uhhhhhhh............... if the "guard" was an extradimensional chaotic godlike demon of complete control and uncontrollable insanity, then that sums it up!   Strider: I like that one better. So yeah, I'm gonna go with "sympathetic".   Dazki: Here's the thing. It does not care for any of the people out here at all, either. From what we can gather.   Marvin: Oh yeah, it'll fuck this place up real good!   Strider: I think not caring is a better alternative. Because right now, you colonists care too much, in the opposite direction.   Kesmet: Hey, don't lump me in with them!   Dwardazik: OK, explain?   Marvin: We don't want to interfere with your... swamp... business.   Dwardazik: I'm actually kind of curious. What's your perspective on this? Why do you think we colonists care "too much"?   Strider: You want things to be the way that you think they should be.   Grogery: And you don't?   Strider: And sometimes, this opposes what things are like.   Dwardazik: I kinda have to disagree, because —   Strider: No, no you don't get to disagree.   Dwardazik: I do! Because if you're a farmer, you plant some seeds, you expect things to grow, but that doesn't mean "oh it might just fail, because of the weather" or what not. You're basically saying "oh, I'm not important enough to make my own decisions and planning, I'm going to let someone else decide for me, Turmoil! and what they want, they get!". There is no such thing as random chance in your case.   Strider: I refuse to swim upriver when downriver is easier.   Dazki: Just because it's easier doesn't mean it's better.   Strider: Maybe you should change yourself instead of changing what's around you.   Marvin: When the things that are "changing around us" are the deaths of millions of people, and we might be able to stop that, then yeah!   Strider: You want to speak of deaths of millions of people?! God, you don't even know! You don't even know!   Grogery: We know that The Wall™ has been bad for this area.   Marvin: We know the history, yes.   Kesmet: For someone who's preaching being "chill" and not having any plans and stuff, you're awfully animated about random things. Sounds like you need to chill a little bit.   Strider: You know what? Maybe I will chill! Maybe I'll chill all the way over there!   Kesmet: No, see, you're getting animated again. If you really were chill, you'd just sit down right here.   Strider: If I was at all an aggressive folk, man, then... oooh boy, stuff would happen to you!

Grogery: Why is it that whenever we go to someplace like this, we end up having big disagreements on the philosophy? There was Overlook, there's this place, there was some stuff in Ashport, ...   Marvin: He doesn't have a bad outlook, he just doesn't give a shit.   Grogery: OK, The Wall™ did do a lot of damage to this area, to the people who were already living here, because the people who were in power at the time wanted the wall here and just didn't care about the stuff that was in the way.   Dwardazik: Yeah, except for the fact that The Wall™ was kinda necessary. To protect, y'know, the entire land.   Dazki: That's what the stories tell.   Grogery: But the average person is generally good, so a lack of caring feels like malice.   Dwardazik: I'm not gonna disagree that it might've harmed the people on this side of The Wall™. That's just bad kingdom management. I'm just saying, The Wall™ — which my ancestors (well, maybe not directly related, but) helped construct — is absolutely amazing, and a pride of the dwarven race's engineering!   Dazki: It is a technological, and magical, marvel. However, it was extremely damaging to a lot of people. And you of anyone, Dwardazik, should know how resentment can be carried down through generations. Can't you see their perspective, as to why they're angry and why they still blame the descendants of the people who built it? And the people who benefit from it? As opposed to those who are hurt by it, whose livelihoods were destroyed by it?   Dwardazik: Yeah... you know, elf's got a point.   Marvin: That he does.   Dwardazik: Yeah, I would be pretty pissed too. Dammit! I'm agreeing with Dazki!   Grogery, after confirming that Strider is far enough away: Um... so... we, uh... ... ...we have the thing... and I have no idea how it got in.   Marvin: wut.   Grogery: Yeah. The only thing I can think of is that maybe Roamer stuffed it into the Bag of Holding for safekeeping while we were on the boat and all passed-out. That's the only thing I can think of, but how would Roamer even get it?   Marvin: we... we gave it... to Jack...   Grogery: So did somebody steal it from Jack? We basically immediately high-tailed it out of there at the first boat!   Dazki: You do realize this is part of an artifact that can rewrite reality, right?   Grogery: Yes, but they're not all together, and how the heck?   Dwardazik: Wait! Maybe... maybe — hear me out, OK? this is going to sound crazy, but — what if, in the future when we're fighting "The Metronome Man", we needed the Rotor, and so when we used it in the future, we made sure to get it to us in the past? We have it now, so that we'd have it for the future?   Grogery: OK... usually, when stuff is moved places because of "The Metronome Man", it's swapped places with something else. So if this is here, then there must be something else in the bag that's missing.   Marvin: And on top of that... aren't Bags of Holding their own little pocket dimensions anyway?   Grogery: Turmoil breaks rules, so... *shrug*? The way my Sending works right now, I might literally wind up sending to people I don't know, on accident. Which should not be possible either.   Dwardazik: So, OK. OK. I don't think I've had enough ale for this, but let's think about this. Where we are, we got a hint — and I'll assume Strider wasn't lying — that we're close to The Wall™. Or at least close to the tunnel, to get through The Wall™. We have the magical artifact, for some reason. Hopefully, we don't end up getting assassinated, when we get back to Ashport, for stealing something that we didn't steal. ...what do we do now?   Grogery: I'm pretty sure that when we get back to Ashport, there's no way for them to link it to us, unless we come back to Ashport with it. The real thing I'm having a problem with is that everyone here is incredibly resentful towards The Wall™ and the civilization that built it. If we leave something this powerful just lying around, there are spells to detect magic, to scry on objects. Somebody would be able to find it even if it does get chucked into the Swamp. Who knows if this is part of somebody's plan to get all the pieces together to blast a hole through the wall, permanently?   Dwardazik: It's totally obvious. Even just from you speaking like that — this guy, all he needed to do was throw the Rotor into an area, suspiciously close to The Wall™ (or the tunnel) and in the water where nobody would find it, so that somebody could just over and pick it up, because they know where it'll be? I don't know who Strider's working for, but...   Marvin: So, if all the pieces are assembled, what exactly is it that it can do?   Dazki: It was never used, because it was deemed to be too powerful. No one alive anymore knows what it can do.   Dwardazik: In theory, if we never open the bag, from this point going forward, it will never leave, right?   Grogery: It wasn't supposed to be able to get in, either.   Marvin: Then maybe it'll disappear on its own! Maybe it'll just say "seeyalater bye!", and then maybe it'll pop back up again later! Who the hell knows at this point?   Dwardazik: Oh, I see...   Grogery: We could choose not to open the bag again, but something could happen in the future where it gets stolen, or if I get knocked out, and then people start rifling through the bag for stuff.   Dwardazik, after a sigh: So. Immediate plans. It's getting late, and we have to ensure our safety here, in an area where we frankly have no idea about the surrounding area. Perhaps we should have a quick scout of the immediate surrounding area, and secure whatever fortifications we can, here?   Dazki: I don't think anyone should leave the outpost.   Grogery: We should at least search the outpost to make sure there aren't any more bugs hiding somewhere.   Dazki: Yeah, absolutely.   Marvin: What if Kesmet and I scouted together, by flying?   Kesmet: We could.   Grogery: Nobody goes off on their own, but at least you guys would be going together.   Dazki: If you think that's a good idea...   Marvin: Just offering it so that at least the scouting is never being done solo.   Dazki: I feel like the tree cover would make that not particularly useful.   Marvin: Fair...   Kesmet: I'm mostly just interested in finding out where the altar is, relative to here.   Grogery: Another thing. It sounds like, as colonists, we're really not supposed to be here. So if we go flying up in a straight line, and then somebody spots us, that could cause trouble. I guess you could also be invisible?

The party discusses strategy and fortifications a bit more. They decide to start by securing the camp as a group.

Dwardazik: ...that includes you, Barry!   Barry, yelling back across: Hey, the snake lady's not in the house anymore! Is she a good person or a bad person?   Marvin: Neither.   Grogery: Unknown.   Dazki: Did you see where she went?   Barry: I didn't know I was supposed to pay attention to where it was going?   Dazki: No, no, it was just a question! You were not expected to. I was just wondering if you had noticed.   Barry: ...if I said "no", would you be mad?   Marvin + Grogery: No.   Barry: ...then no.   Grogery: I really do want to get back to help those goblins, though.   Dazki: That's gonna have to be a little bit lower on our priority list at the moment.   Grogery: I know, but I mean... ugh.   Dwardazik: You know, there's always the possibility that Strider and the lamia decide to just bail on us and report to the neighbors that we're colonists.   Grogery: But then he'd have to acknowledge that he brought us here, which would probably get him in trouble.   Kesmet: Worse, he would have to plan that, which he won't do.   Dwardazik: Just saying, there's always a possibility that he could try to sell us out. We should assume and plan for an ambush tonight.   Dazki: We'll keep watch as normal. I think assuming and planning for an ambush is a little bit on the paranoid side.   Grogery: If we prepare for an ambush, then in the event that it happens, we're OK. In the event that it doesn't, it's not really gonna hurt.   Dazki: All right. All right. If I'm outvoted, then fine.   Marvin: Well, what exactly do you have in mind?   Dazki: Just saying, keep watch as we would normally.   Grogery: That is preparing for an ambush.   Marvin: Yeah, that's kinda all I had in mind.   Dazki: Is that all you had in mind too, Dwardazik? I got the impression that you wanted to build up fortifications, things like that?   Dwardazik: I do think that we could do some of the basics. So, what we have here is [...]

Dwardazik describes a complicated setup for how to build up fortifications and gain the element of surprise if there is an ambush.

Dazki: I mean, it seems a little bit paranoid, but if it'll make you feel better, then... sure.   Grogery: I would recommend against anything we can't immediately take down tomorrow morning. Because we're trying to avoid getting Strider in trouble.   Dwardazik: OK, we'll just rearrange the barrels and some of the other things here.   Dazki: I mean... ...sure. Paranoia is the mode of the day, apparently.   Dwardazik: And then we'll find some ale.   Dazki: No, if we're going to be preparing for an ambush, you're not going to be drinking a fucking drop, Dwardazik.   Dwardazik: Oh? (He moves his hand closer to his tankard.) OH?   Dazki: You take one drink, and I will take down your fortifications.   Dwardazik: You wouldn't!   Dazki: Try me.   Dwardazik: I don't think you could even lift them!   Dazki: You want to see what I can do when you actually piss me off?   Dwardazik: My fortifications would be so heavy that no elf would be able to lift 'em!   Grogery: Guys.... it's late...   Dazki: How's this then, just cut it with the fucking racism!   Dwardazik: ...no.   Marvin: That was blunt. Just "...no"?   Dwardazik: No, he wants me to do it. No.   Marvin: He wants you to do what?   Dwardazik: He wants to be right, and I'm not gonna let him be right.   Marvin: Well, he is right.   Dwardazik: Nuh-uh.   Marvin: He's not wrong just because you say so.   Kesmet: It's got to be a lot easier not being racist than being racist.   Dwardazik: What are you talkin' about? What are you talking about "being racist"? You talking about the drow thing, or just the fact that Dazki's an elf?   Kesmet: Maybe the elf thing? I'm not really sure...   Dwardazik: He calls me a dwarf all the time, stop taking sides!   Dazki: I don't insult you because you're a dwarf. I don't say disparaging things about dwarves in general.   Kesmet: Oh, that makes sense now.   Dwardazik: You say I can't have any ale, that's like saying an elf can't have any water.   Dazki: I'm saying you need to remain sober so you can be aware of anything that might be coming to ambush us. It is entirely counterproductive to get drunk while you're trying to be on guard.   Dwardazik: No one said anything about gettin' drunk. ...I mean, unless you want to?   Dazki: My point proven.   Dwardazik: I said if you want to! ...OK, OK, OK. I'm sorry, Dazki. I'll be extra sharp for you, OK?   Dazki: By that, you mean you will not drink, right? You will not imbibe any sort of alcoholic beverage until the sun rises tomorrow morning?   Dwardazik: I dunno if I should have to agree to this, but because I know where this is going, and I don't feel like fighting right now in front of the rest of the party, I will agree.   Dazki: I want to hear you say those exact words.   Dwardazik: No. I already agreed. That's as much as you're going to get.   Dazki: Whatever. Fine.   Dwardazik, muttering mostly to himself: I can't believe he's making me not drink any ale. He's gonna make me... die!

After some more discussion they finally decide to just stick as a group, secure the outpost for overnight, and set up a simple alarm system at the single unbarricaded entrance, then set up camp in one of the huts. Dwardazik pulls Grogery aside for a private conversation.

Dwardazik: You don't think Dazki's actually pissed off at me, do you?   Grogery: We're all getting on each other's nerves lately. Why, are you ticked off at him?   Dwardazik: No, not really. I just thought we were having a little spat there. But at the end, I was getting a little concerned that he might actually be getting annoyed. He does look kind of worse for wear, I think he might've taken some damage from those bugs.   Grogery: He did.   Dwardazik: Maybe you could make sure he's doin' all right? 'cause I'm feelin' OK, but... I dunno... he seemed to take the bait a little too easily.   Grogery: You were just ribbing him to... rib him?   Dwardazik: Of course! What else would I do? He's the only fun person around — I mean, the only elf around!   Grogery: I'm not entirely certain he got that you were kidding.   Dwardazik: Naw... we have an understanding. Dazki knows what it's all about. But to think that he had the gems on him to suggest, to a dwarf, not drinking ale?! Hmmph.   Grogery: If you rib someone in the same way enough times, it stops feeling like a joke and starts feeling like a pattern.   Dwardazik: What, you think he's actually mad about me calling him an elf?   Grogery: No, it's like, maybe this is from a perspective of seeing what the life of a noble person is like, but a lot of times you're taught from birth that the family that you come from is just better. That you're in charge for a reason. That it's fine if other people end up suffering while you end up succeeding, because that's just the way life is. And if they were doing better, then maybe they would be the noble, and you would not be. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I think he's trying not to fall into that mindset, but people having these established worldviews about what people are supposed to be like based on the proportions of their body, or the color or their skin, or the size of their ears... I think that might be the reason why a lot of this is upsetting him. He doesn't want to see himself or other people falling for that trap.   Dwardazik: Hmmph. I understand where he's coming from. Why don't you go check on him, make sure he's doing all right?   Grogery: Plus, he was probably a little bit ticked off that you ran up and, like — ...I mean, if that was just a regular old man, you would've done something very bad, and I would be asking for 300 gold right about now.   Dwardazik: That wasn't just some random old — he was a servant of "The Metronome Man"!   Grogery: And the people in the cult were kind-of servants of Vicra, too, but a lot of them were decent people who were just in way over their head. We were working for Baxton for a while, were we evil?   Dwardazik: Of course we weren't evil! We're the good guys!   Grogery: One of the tenets of my religion is that I always have to be aiding people. If you have the ability to help somebody, then you have the obligation to do so.   Dwardazik: Spare me the sermon right now.   Grogery: If you have the ability to not hurt somebody, and it doesn't affect your life that much, then it's your obligation to take that choice.   Dwardazik: I think it's in our best interests to assassinate the spies trying to attack us! You need to have some trust that, when I can see a threat and I engage the threat, that it's for the right reason! We can't keep second-guessing everything we do.   Grogery: That's what I'm supposed to do.

Dwardazik calls the others over to the hut by himself and Grogery and talks up some of its strategic benefits, before moving on.

Dwardazik: So, Kesmet, what are you thinking about this whole situation here? Do you think we're going to be able to find this tunnel way and figure out where it is?   Kesmet: Probably. We usually stumble onto stuff that we're not supposed to stumble upon. I'm a little bit mad, though, because it feels like we've gotten further away from Dennis.   Marvin: I think this is the closest to Dennis we've ever been.   Kesmet: Really? Because it kinda seems like we're just blundering into this. If Dennis happens to be somehow related to anything that guy's doing, it will be just a coincidence.   Marvin: I don't think Dennis has anything to do with Strider here, but we're definitely getting closer.   Kesmet: We were right there, we just had to grab one of the werewolves!   Marvin: There was no way we were going to be able to get anything out of the werewolves.   Dwardazik: It was too dangerous. We would've basically had to become the third party in an already chaotic battle.   Marvin: Exactly.   Kesmet: Eh, what's 15 more counts of "self-defense"?   Dwardazik: You know, I prefer not to risk my life just willy-nilly.   Kesmet: Fine.   Dwardazik: So, what did you think about that lamia, and that magic that's going on with Strider over there? You picking up anything on that?   Marvin: He's a Genasi, right? Or are you talking about the four-arms thing?   Dwardazik: It seems... definitely Turmoil-related, right? We definitely agree on that?   Dazki: I dunno, Genasi can control water and everything. I don't know that it's unreasonable for him to be able to walk on it.   Dwardazik: I'm referring to the extra arms.   Grogery: That seemed like a Turmoil mutation. Genasi are supposed to have a stronger resilience to that sort of thing because of their ties to the elements.   Marvin: Why would an outcome of Turmoil be something so consistent and stable as growing two more limbs? And conveniently underneath his existing arms? I would think that Turmoil's gonna fuck with you and have it grow out of your stomach or something.   Grogery: Part A, he is a Genasi and is therefore more resilient to harmful mutations that could've arisen. Part B, if it was a harmful mutation that was going to hurt him, he probably wouldn't still be around. (He takes off the Baxton ring.) Also, just so we're all on the same page, I did some looking through some of the maps. Apparently, our "target" is on this side of The Wall™.   Dwardazik: That we know of.   Grogery: Yes. So, getting on the other side of The Wall™ isn't necessarily going to lead us to "The Metronome Man". The dark spot on the map was on this side of The Wall™.   Dwardazik: Am I wrong in remembering that we wanted to get through The Wall™ so that we could potentially talk to some of the tribes who knew more about Turmoil?   Grogery: We did. I'm just saying, that's not where his base is supposed to be. It might be close to here, actually, it's kind of hard to tell. It was supposed to be further in, up around the middle of The Wall™, I think.   Dwardazik: With the amount of interest that this backstabbing Roamer and the Rotor and everything else is, I can't help but feel like the immediate area beyond The Wall™, this tunnel, this encampment, and Strider are all related to "The Metronome Man". It's all interconnected in some kind of puzzle-y construction.   Barry: Wait, wait, no. Because earlier, you guys were saying things were coincidences!   Grogery: Some things can be coincidences. We're just saying that if a random thing happens that's convenient, it doesn't have to necessarily be that it's not a coincidence.   Barry: OK.   Dwardazik: No, Barry, you see, just because you have a whole bunch of random pieces of the puzzle, that doesn't mean you can try and describe a puzzle out of it. There must be a plan. It must all make sense somehow, right?   Barry: I have no idea!   Grogery: Also, just a note, I'm pretty sure we can trust Baxton. He doesn't seem to be hostile anymore. Is there a reason why we keep hiding our knowledge of the map from him? It's not like he's going to be able to spread it to anybody.   Dazki: He definitely still has his own plans. He can't enact them from within the ring, so he's using us.   Marvin: Yeah? Are you really sure he can't somehow, like, make a new body if he somehow got us to do some weird ritual thing?   Grogery: I'm not saying that he wouldn't be able to do any of that. I'm just saying that having to take the ring off any time we try to discuss the map, or those locations, or other specific things...   Dazki: That's fair.   Grogery: I'm not saying to trust him completely, just that I don't think this information is particularly harmful right now.   Dazki: I guess I would agree.   Grogery: Also, I'm pretty sure he was at least a little worried when I almost died, so that's a good sign.   Marvin: Really?   Grogery: He was acting all, like, angry about it, but anybody with two eyes would — well, I couldn't really see him, but you know how it is — it was pretty obvious that he was acting angry out of concern.   Dwardazik: Be careful. He is a master manipulator. Don't get too attached.   Grogery: He's usually pretty silent most of the time.   Dwardazik: In your moment of vulnerability and weakness, he will attempt to strike. That's all I have to say. I want no more business with that guy.   Grogery: That's fair. (He puts the ring back on.)   Dazki: So, on a different topic, I do know that Dr. Finnigan Perry was coming here to research how the people of the tribes could use Turmoil for beneficial mutations.   Marvin: Oh?   Dwardazik: I think I remember something about that...   Dazki: What that might mean is: our friend over there lost an arm, but the shamans, or whoever it is in his tribe who can handle Turmoil, they were able to give him two new ones using that power.   Dwardazik: That is interesting. Being able to control the Turmoil is part of the reason why we're here. To understand how to cure the people of Ashport and other reasons. But now, that makes you wonder. Isn't it strange how Strider is so dedicated to completing his list? I just wonder if there isn't some kind of price to being able to control Turmoil, and I wonder if this isn't related?   Marvin: That's a good theory.   Dazki: I don't know.   Grogery: Everybody we've met who is some sort of scion for the Mirage has had some sort of horrible price to pay for the power it gave them.   Dazki: To me, he just sounded like a religious fanatic. It wouldn't be too far off, either, since it sounds like they worship the Turmoil out here.   Dwardazik: That does kinda sound like 'im...   Grogery: Plus, if it gave you two new arms, you'd probably feel grateful and be willing to adjust a lot of your personal philosophy in that direction.   Marvin: Honestly, I wouldn't mind having another little chat with him.   Dazki: I would like to talk with him a little as well. At some point.   Dwardazik: You'll get your chance. When we inevitably go to sleep, and you slink around, watching the camp.   Dazki: Not sure if I should appreciate that or be insulted by it... I'll go with the former. Thank you, Dwardazik.   Dwardazik: What? It just means that you're really good at sneaking around.   Dazki: "Slink" usually has a negative connotation, at least to elves...   Dwardazik: Oh. Uh. Well, uhh...... ...you're really good at stealth!   Dazki: Thank you.   Dwardazik gives Grogery a thumbs-up, who responds with his own thumbs-up and a smile.   Dazki: Well, if we're all set up, we should probably get to sleep now.

Uninvited, But Not Unexpected

Marvin and Dwardazik stand up immediately, Dwardazik getting his weapons at the ready.

Metro: I agree with getting some rest. That last encounter really took a lot out of all of us.   Dazki: I'm sorry, but who might you be, my friend?   Metro: Who am I?   Dazki: Yes.   Metro: I have a feeling you know who I am.   Dazki: ...OK?   Dwardazik: What is your purpose?   Dazki: So, why are you here, then?   Dwardazik: This is ridiculous! I swear, this is so ridiculous.   Dazki: And also, why that guise?   Marvin: Well, he's not talking in riddles this time.   Metro: You guys weren't appreciative of my previous thing. This is a more comfortable form for me, and I do prefer the shorter ears I'm wearing now.   Dwardazik: I'm going to take a lesson that I've learned from my companions. So. Mr... — I assume you're either "The Metronome Man" or a friend of "The Metronome Man", based on the way you're acting —   Dazki + Grogery: No, it's Roamer.   Metro: It's not. I assure you, it's not.   Grogery: Wait, you're not Roamer?

Dwardazik sheathes his weapon and shield and sits back down.

Marvin: I told you that he can just airdrop these things in!   Dazki: Then who might you be?   Metro, vaguely towards Grogery: You do know that I can hear you bitch and moan up there, right?   Grogery: You can hear him?!   Dwardazik: So, I presume that you are either an agent of "The Metronome Man", or "The Metronome Man" himself. I'm going to take a lesson from my companions. As you can see, I've sheathed my weapons. Perhaps we should introduce ourselves and have a bit of a chat? I can see no other reason why you would have come here without an ambush. I would be very curious to hear your side of the story, as to why you are doing what you are doing, and why you are interacting with us this evening? My name is Dwardazik Stoneturner Boulderhearth, as I'm sure you're aware, —   Metro, holding a hand up: I am rightly aware of who you all are.   Marvin: Good! I didn't feel like having an icebreaker around the table anyway. So maybe we can cut the small talk and just get right to it. Why are you here?   Dwardazik: ...well, I said it more elegantly, but yeah, that's the question.   Metro: I'm tired of this constant bickering, and you wouldn't listen to me any other way.   Marvin: It didn't help that your previous messages were just "woooo, spooky ghost story, woooo look at me, woooo".   Grogery: If you really know so much about us, you would've known that we wouldn't take well to that.   Metro: Sure. Yeah. You merely just "seek the Hounds Guild", right? I'm done with them for the most part. You can have them.   Kesmet: Did you have anything to do with orchestrating the death of my family?   Metro: I believe that was mostly a fault of your own, was it not?

Kesmet shoots a fire bolt at him.

Grogery: Kesmet, chill it with the trigger finger, please! I know that he's trying to bait you.   Kesmet: "Chill"? Me? Have you met me?   Grogery: Yes! You can be surprisingly chill when you set your mind to it!   Metro: Your fire cannot reach me from here, I'm afraid. I am here with you, but you cannot reach me.   Marvin: Oh, you're just too good? You're too powerful for us, is what you're saying?   Kesmet: For now.   Grogery: So you're saying that you came here to get us to do something that we weren't going to do on our own, but what makes you think that you coming here is going to make us still do what you want?   Metro: Do you want the Hounds Guild?   Dwardazik: I'll tell you what I want. What I really, really want from you is for you to tell me what you sold to get on Turmoil's good side, eh? Why don't you remember that?   Metro: What I "sold"? (He laughs, then sighs.)   Marvin: There's always a price to pay.   Dwardazik: You come here acting all high and mighty, but look at you over there! A prisoner to your own — what is it this time, greed? Pride? Or maybe you're just afraid, so now you hide in some kind of time loop, too afraid to face the consequences of your actions?   Metro: Indeed, quite the opposite. The consequences — my actions — they've haunted me. I'm a man embodied by past mistakes. Formed by them.   Kesmet: And you continue to make them.   Metro: I have hurt so many. But, I have the will and the power to even the odds.   Dazki: How so?   Metro: Like I said before. I will give you access to the Hounds. I no longer need them. And you only have two main options to aid yourself. I need the rest of the pieces of my device.   Grogery: Oh. Oh no.   Metro: I know you will not hand them to me willingly, and I am not on a path to fight.   Dwardazik: Why don't you tell us what you want to do with 'em, anyway? World peace? Prevent death? Remove the plague from the lands? Become its god and savior? Right all wrongs? Become a saint to everyone because you feel bad about your mistakes and can't accept them? What lie are you telling yourself? What would you want with this artifact?   Metro: Simply put, I want to stop a mistake from happening — a mistake that has happened.   Dazki: What "mistake" would that be?   Marvin: The Wall™, I would assume.   Dwardazik, dismissively: Who knows?   Metro: Allow me, then, to tell you a story, if you're so keen? And, by all means, go towards my device and stop it! It does deliver me my pieces.   Dwardazik: Well, I did say I wanted to hear your side of the story. I am a dwarf of my word. Let's hear it.

Metro: I will tell you my tale first — and then it will be easier to communicate after, I suppose. The song of time never forgets, you see, and like any good song, it has repeated themes and motifs. Just as people chose to live here — and then abandon this very spot — so, too, did another community. Way back, the space was drier. Peaceful. And, unlike now, very much inhabited. But this land, and its inhabitants, were doomed. It was destined to die, to blow away as ash, and hoped to be forgotten.   Metro (cont'd): With important construction underway, many other of these pustules on otherwise pristine skin had already been scoured clean. And, eager to try out a new dispersal mechanism for my Custodian Engines, this location was slated to be the next focus. The inhabitants thought they would have more time to prepare, being this deep in the swamp. But, with the increased range, we had caught the community off-guard, allowing for efficient and clean sterilization of the area, and few stragglers to send warning to others.   Metro (cont'd): This was the thought, anyway...

Metro: It was all going according to plan. The enemy was none the wiser. And even as the molten meteorite slag slammed into the town center — (You hear this happen right as he describes it) — many would still know what had happened. Those pulling themselves from the flames and debris from their horrid settlement wouldn't get off as easily as the ones directly impacted by the meteorite.   Metro (cont'd): Emerging from the wreckage, like a basilisk from a tainted egg: a perfectly functional Custodian Engine, ready to fulfill its task.

Combat Notes

Dazki immediately springs into action, shooting a joint on one of its legs, causing the machine to jettison the leg and reposition the other five to regain its stability. The machine fires its turrets and stomp at targets in range of its remaining legs throughout the fight.   Kesmet tries to attack with fire, but this machine is actually completely immune to this type of damage.

Metro: The Custodian Engine's design used to be my pride.  The difficulty of securing the complex mechanics needed to run the machine well enough to keep them safe from the heat was particularly challenging, but in a good way!  And the fact that I was helping make the world a safer place for generations to come filled me with the determination to complete the piece to perfection.

Dwardazik begins continuously blowing his Eagle Whistle throughout the fight, initially using the flight to get on top of the machine where a Fireguard-like entity had been ejected by one of Marvin's Dissonant Whispers and trying to figure out what weaknesses it might have.

Metro: It wasn't until I saw the devastation that followed in the wake of my creations that I realized how un-clever I really was.  These were not instruments of cleansing or protection. These were implements of war and despair.  The enemy here wasn't chaos.  It wasn't disease or monstrosities... not entirely.  It was people, too — and places, and memories.  By the time I had realized that it was I who was the monster, I fell into a deep depressive state. It was too late.  I wanted to save the world from what would destroy it, and at that point, I was certain I was the one who needed elimination.

Marvin uses his purple hand to try to damage the cannons, and later one of the legs, but it never winds up doing enough to disable anything before the end of combat. Kesmet, seeing Marvin focusing on a cannon, changes tactics and uses a distant Shocking Grasp to try to help damage them, but the attack doesn't connect.   Dwardazik spots a conspicuous glowing crystal on its back and begins attacking it.

Metro: But, unlike my depression and hopeless attitude, the villagers here were not willing to give in so easily. No, they would be clever. They would devise a way to break out of fate's grasp.

A direct hit from the cannon makes Grogery drop concentration on Beacon of Hope, and he responds by firing a Sunbeam continuously across the machine, doing incredible amounts of damage to a cannon and finishing off the other leg, which the machine jettisons as well.   Kesmet moves up to use his Shocking Grasp at close range. It's working.   Dwardazik continues bludgeoning the weak point, shattering the protective casing. Within it is a series of delicate-looking "almost, like, copper wiring", shifting gears, all on a flat golden plate. It looks "very, very delicate — and very, very shouldn't-be-exposed-the-way-it-is-right-now".   Another direct hit from the cannon burns Grogery and his Death Ward. Grogery repositions his Sunbeam to a more advantageous line, which destroys an additional leg and heavily damages another (with some minor damage to the undamaged cannon as well).   Marvin's purple hand punches the heavily damaged leg, which Kesmet follows up with a Shocking Grasp that disables it. Kesmet walks up, does a quickened Shocking Grasp on the hull, and the electricity surges through the body, reaching the exposed piece and lighting it up for Dwardazik to attack it. Dazki immediately examines the machine, remembering that "those things explode". (Tinker's Tools 16) it sure is unstable...

Dazki, yelling: It's gonna explode! We need to run, now!

Dwardazik, still blowing his whistle, carries Grogery.

Dwardazik: Don't tell me that every one of those meteors is another one of these things!!   Dazki: Looks like it's gonna be a long day...   Marvin: You may be right, my friend.   Dwardazik: We barely managed to beat this one! I can barely feel my arms, and I feel like my beard is singed half-off!

Grogery's Bag of Holding starts ringing, like an old alarm clock. He retrieves the Rotor, still using Dazki's glove.

Voice: Hello? Hello?   Grogery: Who is this?   Voice: Oh! I... I think it's working this time! Traveler, when are you?   Grogery: The area near the end of the Invictus Una is getting sterilized.   Dwardazik: ...do we really have time for this? What are you even doing?   Voice: Oh, this is good! That means we're getting closer!   Grogery: What's the intended target?   No more words come from the device.   Marvin: Well, GREAT! Now we're stuck here!

Marvin and Kesmet (Perception 6 and 14) feel like the voice sounds vaguely familiar, but they can't place it. Nobody else recognizes it at all.   Dwardazik is still carrying Grogery, ...

Marvin: He's... thanking us?   Dazki: He said it: he regrets what happened. He was trying to use us to change the past.   Kesmet: But that wasn't the actual past, right? It was just a very involved illusion?   Dazki: No. That was the actual past.   Dwardazik: wut.