Session 101

General Summary

• Dazki was late coming to breakfast: seeing Mot die the day before triggered some strong emotions in him.
• He was worried that the party is doing more harm than good, and that they keep putting people into harm's way everywhere they go.
• The rest of the party pointed out that even though harm is more visible at smaller scales, the good is bigger for more people.
• Rosalin also called it "selfish" of Dazki to blame himself for everything, as if other people don't make choices or have problems of their own.
• Gilda Lily visited the house during breakfast, apparently in response to a letter from Dazki.
• Apparently, "the government right now is such a circus", so she's happy to be somewhere quieter... even if the house does still lack furnishing.
• She can't see what the party gets out of their relationship with Annu, but she seems intrigued at how much they've already figured out about him.
• Baxton's victims are still being given more-or-less the same "treatment" as before. It's rough, but Gilda recommends it for anyone affected.
• Gilda cautioned that most boat captains would likely refuse to bring the party to Rotthaven, based on their reputation, but after a short talk with Rosalin, she agreed to call in a favor with Captain Orcanus to get them onto the Channelhopper, which departs tomorrow.
• During Gilda's visit, a messenger from Jack showed up at the door with a scroll case shackled to his wrist containing replacements for The Admirer's Cards of Collecting, a second unrelated pack of not-playing-cards, and a full report on what the House of Cards learned from Kerro's corpse:
• The body was indeed Kerro. He was sent back in time 5 years ago where a cleric was waiting, having heard a prophecy about "a man of metal" turning into "a man of flesh and blood" who would need assistance. The cleric resurrected Kerro, and then Kerro killed the cleric.
• Kerro dedicated the next 5 years to plotting revenge, "possibly burn[ing] down Kesmet's possessions". He knew that Kesmet would be at the casino, but he got into a fight with "a pair of Hearts" when staging his attack, wounding him heavily before he could teleport to Jack's room.
• Kesmet worries that this might mean that he's the one who's responsible for the death of his family, though the party pointed out that even if it's true, "the Metronome Man" is more to blame, since he's the one who brought time travel into it in the first place.
• The party plans to set their affairs in order and do some shopping before leaving the next day.
• They intend to take Barry with them this time, since this time magic stuff is their best shot at fixing his problem.
• Barry, it turns out, is in deep with the Followers of Fame and Fortune, who claim that they can help him "be his own boss". He has spent practically all of his share of the loot on Essentially Crystals™ (which Dwardazik says are mostly salt, with trace other materials).
• The party voiced their strong disapproval, but Barry showed that he's able to successfully cast Cure Wounds, surprising everyone (including himself).

Full Recap

Nothing of interest happens for the rest of the night, so the party takes a long rest.   Dazki gets up early to fix the broken pocketwatch that Dwardazik had appraised to be worth 2500 gold when new.   Marvin wakes up with the realization that he didn't tell Yacht where to meet him.   Dwardazik washes up and heads over to the kitchen, where he hears Rosalin yelling at Jersey. Jersey is trying to bake something, and it seems Rosalin is trying to show him how.

Rosalin: No... no, we can't put the shell bits. They don't go in there.   Jersey: The recipe said "one egg". The shell is part of the egg, is it not?   Dwardazik starts approaching slowly.   Rosalin: Yeah, but people don't like eating the shell! We gotta leave the shell out!   Dwardazik: What are ya cookin' over there?   Jersey: uh... ... ... ... food?   Dwardazik: Well, I would hope so...   Jersey: I don't like the slimy bit! Do you like the slimy parts of an egg?   Dwardazik: Do you mean... the egg?   Jersey: No, the snot part.   Dwardazik: That's the egg.   Jersey: We should leave that part out too.   Dwardazik: You don't leave —   Jersey: It says "one egg"! If we can leave the shell out because you don't like it, then we can leave the white part out because I don't like it!   Dwardazik: No-no-no-no, hold up. Now just wait a minute here, Jersey. When it says to use an egg, it's giving you the instructions to use the egg, which is that yellowish stuff, the white stuff, the clear stuff, and NOT the shell. You don't eat the shell! ...well, you can eat the shell if we want — we can save 'em for you — but it doesn't go in this recipe!   Jersey: She said the recipe called for "one egg". The shell is part of the egg. If we can pick and choose what parts of the egg we're not eatin', then we're not eatin' the slimy white bit!   Dwardazik: Jersey.   Jersey: Yes, my lord?   Dwardazik: I order you, from now on, in all references that involve "an egg", to use the yolk and white of the egg and not the shell of the egg. ... ... Please.   Kesmet: Jersey. Take my word for it. I know what he's talking about. And he's right. Just so you know, bakers are a little bit weird, and they write recipes a little weird. (Deception 28)   Dwardazik: How about this, Jersey: why don't we just try it? No one likes to eat a raw egg (unless you're an elf). We'll see what happens! What are ya tryin' to cook here, huh? You know what, never mind, I don't care. (He bumps Jersey out of the way.) Rosalin, what are you cookin' here?   Rosalin: It's just supposed to be some sort of —   Dwardazik: You know what? I don't care! (He bumps her out of the way too.)

Dwardazik begins just cooking with the ingredients that they had been working with, ignoring the breakfast pastry that they were going for. Kesmet walks in to help as Rosalin and Jersey leave.

Dwardazik, muttering mostly to himself: What are you do— why is the stem still on here?! I don't — this isn't even in season! ...BREAD FLOUR, not even all-purpose flour?! It's gonna be way too chewy! And look at the grain sizes on — (He trails off.)   Dwardazik: Kesmet, you said you had that spice box, right?   Kesmet: Yeah.   Dwardazik: We need a little bit of that right here, right now. Three spices, (he points) here, here, and here.   Kesmet: All right. What kind of spices, Dwardazik?   Dwardazik: Delicious spices. Go.   Kesmet: Fine. (He does.) Oh, hey, that one watch we found, sounded pretty expensive. We also pilfered one from Baxton's crap.   Dwardazik: We did...?   Kesmet: Yeah, I have it. Should we appraise that too? I don't think is magic or anything.   Dwardazik: What, do you have it on you right now?   Kesmet: I always have everything on me. Never know when you might have to pick up and leave because you're chasing a, you know, mob boss.   Dwardazik: I understand the idea of being ready to leave, but I dunno, that seems kinda depressing. So what's this watch, huh? Let me take a look.

Kesmet takes it out and shows it to Dwardazik. (Intelligence 11) Its not as nice as the other watch. Watches are expensive, but this one's definitely a cheaper one. Well-used... that is to say, poorly kept as many of Baxton's other possessions were.

Dwardazik: Looking at the material, it's got a few scuff marks. Looks like something someone would use, not display... see here, you can see the oil marks and fingerprints... switches here where you'd open up its face... and here, if you look at the glass shield, there's a little dink in it... so, overall I'd say it's worth quite a bit, maybe 2369 gold.

They go back to food preparation. Dwardazik calls the others down for breakfast, and Kesmet amplifies the voice as loud as Minor Illusion can make it, startling Dwardazik.

Dwardazik: Jeez, I know you're excited, but let's not invite the neighbors!   Kesmet: Neighbors don't recognize your voice. They'll just wonder "who the hell is calling for breakfast".   Dwardazik: Yeah, but sound travels!   (Everyone but Dazki is here now.)   Kesmet: Wait, where's Dazki?   Marvin: You know, if you guys ask, I'll help with breakfast. I feel bad for not helping.   Dwardazik: Bah, we got up a bit early.   Kesmet: Wait, where's Dazki?   Dwardazik, whispering: And, just between you and me, Marvin, we had to prevent a kitchen disaster by Rosalin and Jersey.   Marvin: Man, I would have loved to see that!   Dwardazik, still whispering: They were trying to use shells in a dish that calls for eggs!   Kesmet leaves, alone, to check on Dazki.   Marvin: Hey, where'd Kesmet go? He was talkin' about Dazki.

Dazki is just sitting in his room, looking a bit out of it.

Kesmet: Hey, Dazki, you OK? Did you not hear Dwardazik scream?   Dazki: Oh, sorry, I'm kinda in my head today. What's up?   Kesmet: Are you hungry?   Dazki: Oh! Whoa, is it breakfast time?   Kesmet: Yes.   Dazki: Yeah, sure, I'll be right there.

Dazki seems a bit depressed today, for some reason. Kesmet walks over to the table with him.

Kesmet: Guys, good news! He's not dead!   Marvin: Yeah, what took you so long, Dazki?   Dazki: Sorry, I was just in thought.   Marvin: Well, be "in thought" with a full stomach!   Dazki: Yeah.   Kesmet: Copper piece for your thoughts?   Dazki: All right, well... Jack was right.   Marvin: ...about...?   Dazki: We are trouble. For anyone and anything close to us, just about.   Marvin: You're only just now realizing this?   Dwardazik: It's not like we're lookin' for trouble. I just don't get it. It's almost like we're cursed!   Marvin: It's almost like what you guys came upon — and have allowed me to help with, here — is actually something going horribly wrong with the world, and nobody seems to want to do anything about it, but here you guys are actually doing something about it, and the "forces that be" don't like that!   Dazki: Yeah, but how many people have we actually helped? I can think of maybe one or two off the top of my head. How many have we hurt? A hell of a lot more!   Kesmet: We helped ourselves live.   Marvin: I'd say you've helped this whole goddamn city. Helped a couple hundred more people not get killed by the Flesh Artist.   Grogery: Helped the city not get slowly taken over by Baxton.   Marvin: Yeah!   Dwardazik, walking over to Dazki and putting an arm on his shoulder: The only four people that you manage to save are the four you're seein' right here. And let's include those other two (he points to Rosalin and Jersey). Only four people that matter, plus guests. And Barry. Why don't we eat? (He goes back to sit down and eat.)   Dazki: Yeah, I'm sure Wendi and Tilda think the same about that...   Dwardazik: Wendi's confused, and Tilda's busy.   Grogery: And we rescued Wendi. She was petrified. Who knows? If we hadn't done anything, she might still be like that!   Marvin: And who knows who else that Beholder would have killed, if we hadn't taken care of it?   Dazki: The Beholder that we let go in the first place?   Marvin: He was gonna get out eventually, let's be real.   Dwardazik: You can't make a Beholder good or evil. Their actions are their own. There are bad people and bad things, but we're takin' care of it! We're helpin' people! And more importantly, we're helpin' ourselves deal with all this garbage that's being thrown at us!   Dazki: I dunno, it doesn't feel like we're helping people. Feels like we're doing a lot more bad than good.   Grogery: How about you list off all the bad things that come to mind?   Dazki: All right, let's see: we got Mot killed, —   Marvin: He's alive again.   Dazki: — we destroyed an entire town, —   Grogery: What, Overlook?   Dazki: Yeah, we completely wrecked their way of life. Barry got caught up in everything that happened in Muckwater because of us, —   Grogery: That wasn't "because of us". It was happening when we got there. People were missing when we got there, including him.   Dazki: Yeah, because he was coming to Muckwater.   Dwardazik, slamming his fist on the table: Dammit, Dazki! We saved Barry. He was gonna die in that situation. And the town was probably doomed to begin with because they wouldn't be able to activate that crystal wind thing, the dragon that was harming them, and the Flesh Artist living next door. And Mot was probably gonna die anyway, we never know what could happen! We just had to be more prepared in the Mot case, be more careful. That wasn't anyone's fault other than that we were playing with an explosive!   Kesmet: Just because we were there doesn't mean that we were the cause of stuff.   Dazki: Yeah, and we brought him into playing with the explosive! That one was 100% our fault!   Dwardazik: No it wasn't. Mot willingly wanted to work on it. And you saw the enthusiasm on his face! I didn't force him to go up to that automaton. You didn't force him. He could have been precautious. He took the risk. I even voiced it out, and he was so preoccupied investigating his own shit. You need to stop assuming that everyone else is, you know, perfect in this world, man! People can make mistakes, including Mot!   Dazki: I'm not assuming other people are perfect! I'm realizing that, like Jack said, we are trouble! We fuck things up!   Kesmet: Correlation does not equal causation. Sure, trouble follows us. Not because we cause most of it. Barry would've been fishified anyway, even if it wasn't specifically us that he was coming for. That robot would've likely killed a bunch of people, or done who-knows-what as it was masquerading as Kerro.   Dwardazik: The one thing I know is that we are not the bad guys. We have done some bad things, but that's because we didn't have a better choice in the situation. And if we did, we didn't make it because we didn't see it. And hindsight's fuckin' 20/20.   Marvin: Yeah, Dazki, I gotta say...   Dwardazik: You're bein' too hard on yourself! Tell 'im, Marvin!   Marvin: Listen, Dazki. In the time that I've known you, this is probably the most surprised I've ever been at your actions / reactions / what have you. This group of ours, here, has accomplished some amazing shit! From what I've heard about Baxton and then taking care of Vicra, there are countless people that these actions have affected for the better. And, yes, there's gonna be hiccups along the way. We're not perfect. You, especially, Dazki, are not perfect.   Dazki: Gee, thanks...   Marvin: So don't try to be perfect.   Dwardazik: Hey, you know what I think the best thing would be for you to hear right now? Let's just get it from the horse's mouth, so to speak! (He indicates to Rosalin) Rosalin, are you better off or worse off because of our actions?   Rosalin: Well...   Dwardazik: Say it straight, we can take it! I'm fine with what actions have occurred. Just say it how it is, tell us! You won't be kicked out, I swear on my dwarven honor.   Rosalin: I've made a lot of bad decisions in the past, and I think you guys... this is gonna sound silly, I don't think I wanna say it.   Dwardazik: Please, do. Dazki needs your help right now, and you're the only unbiased party here who can really say it in a way that'll make him understand.   Rosalin: Well, sometimes when I feel trapped, I feel kinda hopeless, you know? And I've felt hopeless for a while, but I think I finally feel better now that you're here.   Marvin: See, Dazki? And to top it all off, I would actually say that you'd be a worse person if you hadn't done the things that you've done! Think about it, would you really have done anything differently, knowing the results that we've gotten today?   Kesmet: Yeah, even with the power of hindsight, what would we or should we have done differently?   Grogery: Uh, not listened to Baxton?   Dwardazik: Beat the shit out of Wendi?   Dazki: Not release the Beholder?   Kesmet: I was against that one!   Dazki: Not killed Baxton? Or at least find a way to stop him without killing him, because that got an innocent child killed?   Marvin: Was this "innocent child" just going to get wrapped up in Baxton's affairs anyway?   Dazki: We don't know.   Rosalin, getting agitated: Listen! This whole conversation is — um, pardon mind my language, I'm sorry, but — this whole thing is bullshit. Like, you can't say you killed a child! You didn't kill a child! It was that bad man that caused that situation to happen, where difficult decisions had to be made! To say that every problem is your problem is kinda selfish! I think you're being selfish right now!   Marvin: I agree with that.   Rosalin: If you cause all the problems and solve all the problems, then what's anybody else supposed to do?   Grogery: Also, one of the core tenets of my religion is literally optimism... if you think about it, you're dealing with a lot of big things, what with Mirage Prime and the stuff that's going on with the Red Desert. Even if you want to not involve any of that, we have huge politics going on in the city and all the stuff that was going on with Vicra. This is a lot of very big stuff. Someone was going to have to do something about it at some point. Just because we went over and kicked a hornet's nest doesn't mean someone else wasn't going to go and kick it over eventually. In the meantime, who knows how big that nest would've gotten? Who knows how many innocent people would've gotten hurt by the stings before someone finally decided to go over there and do something about it, you know? At some point, you have to accept that you actually don't have a lot of control over what happens to yourself or other people. You just have to provide aid wherever you can and hope that it's enough. If it's not, then usually you never find out about it, so... you know...   Rosalin: I swear, goddamn nobles... they think they own the world and then get so upset when it doesn't go their way!   Dwardazik: I'll drink to that!   Dazki: Look, the catalyst is that a friend of mine died yesterday, all right? All this stuff has been building up, and then the catalyst is that my friend died yesterday. Yes, he got brought back, but I still saw him die. So I'm sorry if I'm having a bad day and having to deal with some shit, but I saw a friend die. And it was partially — at least partially — because I asked him for help. So, I'm not feeling great right now. I'm sorry.   Grogery: That's fine, we just wanted to make sure that you weren't, like, having any serious thoughts about, like, stopping what we're doing. I dunno, you don't have to be on top of the world all the time. If you want to kind of take a backseat in terms of being the social negotiator, then you can. If you need a break, then just let us know!   Dazki: I just need a morning to process, OK? I'm sorry if I'm a little depressed about it.   Rosalin: Listen, I'm sorry too, I really shouldn't've yelled like that.   Dazki: No, it's OK.   Grogery: I also think a lot of us are depressed on the inside, considering what we've been through. Otherwise we wouldn't have to assert it so loudly to pretend it's true.   Rosalin: You know, I think, it's just —   Dwardazik, slamming the table and interrupting everyone: Mourning's done. New topic!   Dwardazik: ...unless you really wanted to finish what you were trying to say there, Rosalin?   Kesmet, turning to Dazki: Despite the "Mourning's done" outburst, take as much time as you need. I understand the kind of loss you must be feeling. Don't worry. It gets better. Then, somehow, unimaginably worse. Then better again! ...then kinda worse. ...then, like, really really good. Point is, you can't really revenge against the thing, we already killed it. But you might skip the bad stuff maybe? You'll feel bad for a while, then maybe you'll just become better, and then you won't become bad, because you won't need to revenge kill the thing! Because we already killed it!   Dwardazik: Ugh, we're gonna drag this thing out, aren't we...   Dazki: Well, thank you everybody for caring. I do appreciate all of your sentiments. Good to know that I'm not alone here.   Rosalin: Look, you can't hurt anybody just by them wanting to help you. That's because they care about you, not the other way around.   Marvin: Yeah, you can't make an omelette if you don't crack a few eggs!   Kesmet: I don't think that's the correct sentiment, Marvin.   Rosalin: Now, if you were manipulating strangers into doing your bidding, then we would be having a different conversation.   Dwardazik: I'm sure Dazki would appreciate something maybe not so introspective, eh? Maybe something more interesting like the delicious food that we're eating, which isn't the disaster that I prevented from occurring in the kitchen?   Dazki: Thank you. I appreciate it. Can we please just move on, now?

A Lily Bit of Gilda in the Sun

Almost prophetically, there's a knock on the door. Rosalin runs away to answer it. We hear her talking near the door, hushedly, with another woman: Gilda Lily, the leader of Ashport's House of Gold, stands in the foyer. Dazki takes a deep breath, puts a smile on his face, and heads over. She's holding a large potted plant.

Dazki: Lady Lily, so good of you to come visit!   Gilda: I do hope I'm not interrupting anything. It was kind of a... vague invitation.   Dazki: Not at all, it was intended to be vague for obvious reasons. To give you an excuse, if you will, to come. (He turns his attention to the plant that she's holding.) Is that a housewarming gift?   Gilda: You did say you lacked furnishings, and... you really weren't kidding.   Dazki: No, no, afraid not. We have some, still in crates. There are going to be some laborers coming over in the next few days to help unpack and everything. But thank you so much!   Gilda: I believe a plant is fairly traditional as a housewarming gift.   Dazki: That's very kind of you, thank you. How have things been going in the House of Gold since we've had to abscond from the city temporarily?   Gilda: You know, it's been a bit of a pain. But I hear you're going through way worse? Dealing with the House of Crystal, ugh.   Dazki: Annu... is not so bad, once you understand how he works.   Gilda: ...right, but... not really the charismatic sort.   Dazki: Oh goodness, no. And his successor is also not particularly charismatic.   Gilda: Honestly, I'm not sure which I prefer, of the two.   Dwardazik, calling out: Hey, what's going on over there? Someone important at the door?   Gilda: ...why does it smell like burnt hair over here?   Dazki: We were attacked by an automaton recently and are still cleaning up after that.   Dwardazik, calling out: Dazki, you aren't responding, are you OK?   Dazki: Excuse me for one moment, I apologize. (He returns to the rest of the party.) Everything's fine. Gilda Lily has come to visit us, on an invitation that I sent her not long ago.   Dwardazik: Oh, Gilda? We've got a little bit of leftovers from breakfast here, she hungry? (He yells out) Hey Gilda, you hungry?   Dazki: Dwardazik, a little more decorum, please?   Dwardazik, calling out again: Uh, Gilda Lily, are you perhaps hungry for something to eat... milady?   Marvin, whispering: That was so fucking good, Dwardazik.   Dazki, laughing, invites Gilda back to meet with them.   Gilda: Sure, yes, I have some time to spend.

Dazki and Grogery can both tell, Gilda is trying very hard to be polite in a situation where a noble person should not be. Gilda comes back and sits down.

Dwardazik: So what brings you here, Miss Lily?   Grogery: I think Dazki might have invited her?   Dwardazik: Well, yes, but...   Gilda: I got a sweet little letter and I figured I have a little bit of time before I'm... "due at the office", should we say.   Dwardazik: Oh, this is awesome! We actually have some people visiting for once!   Kesmet: ...and they're not trying to kill us!   Marvin: That truly is a first!   Gilda: Well, not yet, anyway.   Dazki: Oh, you have quite the sense of humor.   Dwardazik: So how's the House of Gold been, then? Has anything interesting been happening in these past few days? Any interesting rumors?   Gilda: The government right now is such a circus. It's kinda nice to be in a quieter locale.   Marvin: Shoulda been here twelve hours ago...   Dwardazik: Marvin, not the time.   Gilda: Yes, I hear your estate is rather poorly secured?   Dazki: That one ended up being my fault. A little bit ambitious in trying to identify and repair something that we encountered, that ended up being dangerous.   Dwardazik: ...not... secure? Wait, do you have any recommendations on how to secure a facility? (He pulls out his book and slams it on the table) Actually, I'd be very interested.   Gilda: Eh-heh... not really my forte.   Grogery: Sounds more like a House of Steel thing...   Dwardazik, slapping the book closed: Of course, I mean, I —   Gilda: I pay people to do that for me.   Dwardazik, slapping the book back open onto the table: Whom do you pay to do that for you?   Gilda: ...so, you said Annu had you busy?   Dwardazik slaps the book closed to put it back.   Dazki: Yeah, we're his de facto errand boys, it seems like. Last one he had us doing had us running outside the city to investigate some persons of interest, and soon we're going to be chartering a boat or something of that nature and heading upriver to Rotthaven.   Gilda: To the swamp, in the dry season?   Dazki: Yeah...   Gilda: I guess I've heard of worse vacation destinations...   Dazki: I wish it were a vacation...   Gilda: Oh?   Dazki: Yeah, a work trip. More stuff for Annu.   Gilda, after a pause: What do you get out of that relationship?   Dwardazik: Huh?   Gilda: It's such a weird pairing. I understand that you were horribly betrayed by his biggest competitor. And I figured, possibly, you were just choosing the lesser of two evils. But now I'm starting to think you might actually... enjoy working for him?   Marvin: Oh, you gotta hear some of the jokes he tells...   Dwardazik: I think I can actually answer that, surprisingly. As someone who comes from a... (how do I describe this)... Dwarves believe in honor. A lot of times, when they decide to take on a dishonorable role, it's a bit of a shock to everyone involved. The fact that Annu is so blunt and easy to understand, we know what he's after. We know what he wants. And we know what he believes in — or at least, we understand his constraints and rules and everything. It's nice to have someone who isn't trying to deceive us at every possible moment, manipulate us with every possible goal of their own. It's just a simple relationship. I think that's really what it is.   Kesmet: Yeah, we've kind of had enough of deceptions and subterfuge. He's a breath of fresh air, compared to all that.   Dwardazik: I've never seen so much deception in a city...   Gilda, deep in thought: Yeah... he really wasn't built for government...   Dazki: Oh no, absolutely not. Tell me, is there any chance that you might know what he was, before he was the head of the House of Crystal? Just out of curiosity.   Gilda, still deep in thought: Sounds like he's told you quite a bit about himself already. I wonder how he managed that... perhaps he's more manipulative than we give him credit for?   Dazki: He certainly has a... cleverness... that is unexpected.   Dwardazik: Hey! That kind of statement completely discounts all the methods that we've done to learn more about our friends, allies, and potential enemies!   Gilda: I'm terribly sorry, if I've offended you.   Dwardazik: Not particularly.   Gilda: Good. Because I wasn't particularly sorry.   Dazki: You'll have to forgive him, dwarves sound like they get offended very easily, but they don't take anything personally.   Dwardazik: Um, excuse me?!   Gilda: Oh, please. I work in the House of Gold, we deal with dwarves all the time.   Dazki: Fair enough, milady.   Dwardazik: I am not going to be lectured by an elf on how dwarves should and should not feel! You take that back, right now!   Dazki: Of course, you have my most heartfelt apologies, Dwardazik.   Dwardazik: Damnit, that's not... you don't understand dwarves at all... whatever. Apology accepted. Ugh. He sighs.   Dazki smirks, rolling his eyes.   Gilda: Well, he was in containment before. Ever since I've been here, he's just kinda worked for the House. Still, I mean, he's got to be restrained somehow, right? Nobody does what he does. Nobody is what he is. It's kinda creepy. It gives me the chills a little bit.   Dwardazik: We're talking about Annu, right?   Dazki: Yeah. I can certainly understand that, he is quite the unusual character.   Gilda: But I don't think you invited me here to have me spread words about my comrades.   Dwardazik: Honestly, it sounds like a place where you can come in here and just lay it all out! Well, preferably not something so sensitive that you wouldn't want leaked, but, uh... I dunno, got a coworker that's been pissing you off? Let us know! ...just sayin'... I think it'd be great fun!   Dazki, looking meaningfully at Rosalin: No, we invited you here because we thought you might enjoy the company of the people here.   Gilda: I do appreciate it. The thought, that is. It's good to know that there are some people in this city that are trustworthy, since it seems so few are, nowadays.   Dwardazik: Pretty sure the only trustworthy people we've met in this city — present company and a few others excluded — have been the cab drivers.   Marvin: They are quite reliable.   Dwardazik: Always gotten us to our destination, just sayin'.   Dazki: Have you heard anything about how the treatment has been going, for those affected by Baxton? We've been trying to ask questions, but unfortunately they have not been telling us much.   (Insight 29) Gilda glances slightly towards Rosalin as Dazki brings up the subject. This has been a tense subject between the two.   Gilda: I mean, there's always going to be problems in medical procedures, but I... it's a better alternative than just not knowing, right? I don't get all the mumbo-jumbo, and yeah, a bunch of people might end up still being too unstable to release back into society, but... what's going to happen if you don't, right? What would happen to them?   Dazki: I'm not sure at all what has been happening with the experiments with the treatments. If you might elaborate on that a little more? We've just got radio silence on most of it.   Gilda: There's — well — let's just say they've had a lot of "practice" at this point. Uh... very... prolific, that gentleman. And so the techniques have definitely improved. But, I mean, the scars still remain. Some people, they don't fully recover after the damage. It seems like the earlier we can get to it, the better, right? Maybe that's it? And boy is it expensive!   Dazki: Well, surely, the government is helping to fund the health of its people?   Gilda: I certainly am.   Dazki: But, of course, I understand that there are limits as to what can be done...   Gilda: The economy has just started back up again. I mean, we haven't had a significant cashflow here, because of the whole plague situation. It's been really eating into our treasury. But you do what you have to do.   Grogery: I suppose a different way of thinking about this is: there are new types of procedures being developed, here, as a result of this. Even if the specifics might be different, you might be able to entice people to come in from out of town for similar medical procedures? Not a significant portion of the economics of what a town like this can provide, but, you know... new growth and all that? Perhaps it can go somewhere...   Gilda: Either way, I still very much support anybody who was affected to get the treatment, over not getting the treatment.   Dazki: Well, I can understand that, but I also do believe — especially if someone still has the cognitive ability to make the choice — that it shouldn't be forced upon a person.   Gilda, with a sigh: It's no matter. No matter.   Dazki: Yep. I apologize if I brought up a sore subject.   Gilda: You're taking a trip, then?   Dazki: Yes. Today — probably later this morning or this afternoon — we are going to be seeing if we can charter a boat.   Dwardazik: I'm not necessarily looking forward to figuring that out...   Gilda: That's going to be awfully tough.   Dazki: Has trade not been flowing up the river?   Gilda: Like I said, with the city not having an economic flourish and it just opening up... ...we technically do have ships going upriver, but that's not really the problem.   Grogery: ...stuff isn't coming in?   Gilda: ...see... you've garnished a bit of a reputation around here. Any merchant that would like to hold onto his life or any of his money is... (she sighs)... is not gonna really want the hassle.   Dazki: Yeah, that's understandable, given the reputation we have.   Rosalin stepping in: Do you mind if I speak to Lady Lily privately for a second?   Dazki: Of course not! Everyone, if we could head to the living room and give the ladies a few minutes?

They split off so that Rosalin and Gilda can have a private conversation. The party members all respectfully give the two privacy, Dazki actively trying not to listen in on what seems to be a hushed little conversation that turns very slightly into a hushed little argument.

Kesmet: Oh, hey, Dazki. To distract you from your ultra-hearing, so you don't hear what's going on, Dwardazik said that this watch is kinda similar, but a bit more scuffed up than the one you were fixing. He said it's worth a very weird specific number, I was hoping I could get a second opinion. What do you make of it? Maybe not as an appraisal, but... is it cursed or something? I don't think it was magical, but...

Dazki takes the watch and starts looking it over a little, when suddenly...

A Wristed Development

There is another knock on the front door. Dazki goes to answer it. At the front door is a scrawny, nervous young man. Basic brown cloak and hood, his sweaty hands firmly holding a scroll case shackled to his wrist.

Dazki: What can I do for you, young sir?   Kid, extremely nervous: ...special delivery...   Dazki: Do you know whom it is from? Would you like to come in for a moment?   Kid: No, special delivery...

Kesmet heads over to the door, probably because Dazki still has his watch. (Insight 20) The kid is incredibly nervous, trying to follow orders. He doesn't know exactly what will happen if the orders are not followed... but he knows it would be bad. Dazki leans down to the scroll case and makes a move to open it, when the kid flinches, and then suddenly...

Kesmet: DAZKI, WAIT! That's what the salesman was talking about! ...maybe...   Dazki: What are you talking about?   Kesmet: I just got a weird Sending from another salesman I didn't recognize. Thought it might be Baxton, you know "from beyond the grave", but it wasn't. It said something about a case, and to dispel it before opening it. It's a really weird coincidence that this happened immediately after that.   Dazki: Oh! Uh, OK?   Kesmet: Here, you detect magic and I'll, uh, dispel it to see if it works. Or something.   Dazki: All right.

Dazki uses a charge of the Wand of Magic Detection, which reveals that there is an Evocation-based trap on the scroll case. Kesmet dispels it (shouting "BEGONE, SPELL!", causing the kid to jump) and the magic signature disappears.

Kesmet: Maybe even before opening it... you've got, like, tools and stuff to unshackle him from the case, right?   Dazki: Yeah. Yeah, that's a good idea.   Kesmet: Hey, kid, it's gonna be OK. It's gonna be fine. (He offers the kid one of the smokey caramels he got from Deuce.)   Kid: No pay, no pay! Special delivery.

(Thieves Tools 23) Dazki unshackles the box from the kid's wrist and, handing the kid the scroll case, asks whom it's from... but the kid drops the case and runs away.

Kesmet: ...the fuck is going on?...   Dazki: Well, maybe the letter will tell us.

Dazki steps back inside, closes the door, and reveals what's inside:

• A familiar-looking leather-bound sack which used to contain The Admirer's Cards of Collecting.
• A second pack of what appear to be normal playing cards (but almost certainly are not).
• A large parchment scroll: The Kerro Report. (Editor's note: just click the link to read it, I'm not duplicating it here.)

Kesmet: Wait, shit, is this from Jack? Is he sending us stuff?   Dazki: Looks to be.   Gilda, coming around the corner: Don't mind me prying, but... are we expecting others? I don't — no offense, but — I don't want to be caught here.   As this conversation happens, Kesmet keeps himself busy reading the scroll. For some reason, he tears off the last little bit and stuffs it into his pocket.   Dazki: No, no, it was a surprise delivery, that's all.   Gilda: Well, I guess you seem kind of busy. There is one thing I guess I can do for you...   Dazki: If you are willing, that would be incredibly helpful?   Gilda: Miss Violett has informed me that you've helped quite a bit, and she would like to return the favor, kai nesh kai. I do know of one man crazy enough to move your little troop upriver, and I can pull a favor for you. Now, it's not a luxury vessel, but it's not junk either... it's fast, —   Dazki: It sounds like it'll suit our needs perfectly.   Gilda: — and it leaves tomorrow.   Dazki: What's the name of this vessel, and who captains her?   Gilda: The vessel's name is the Channelhopper. It runs one of those newer-fangled... I guess it's like a steam-engine? Like the big grandboats, but this one's much smaller. And the old sea captain, Captain Orcanus, has been wanting to try it out for a while. Since his crew is just back from a long sea voyage — and they're very stressed out, and their boat is very damaged — I... I know that he is going upriver on an errand for someone else.   Dazki, with a very deep bow: If you could recommend us to him, that would be incredibly appreciated.

It's hard to think that these two ladies — Gilda and Rosalin — met maybe less than a month ago, based on the combination of love and animosity they seem to have towards one another. Gilda looks over to Rosalin, and Rosalin's face is clear: "go through with this plan, I beg you".

Gilda: All right, well, I guess that's the plan, then.   Dazki: You have our gratitude. Thank you. And if you ever need a place to disappear before work for a short —   Gilda, holding up her hand: No, I... no. No.   Dwardazik: All right, well, if you need a safehouse or something where you can completely run away from the world that doesn't count for your safehouses, and isn't the street sewers, then maybe you can consider this as your second option.   Dazki: Anyway, we do thank you very much for your assistance and for your willingness to come visit us, even while we are still unpacking.   Gilda: ...right. Right. Um, skin for skin, right?   Dazki: Skin for skin.   Gilda: Favors for favors.   Dazki: If you need anything from us, all you have to do is ask.   Gilda: I'm quite happy with having no more help from you.   Dazki, with a chuckle: That is entirely fair.   Gilda: I'm actually fulfilling my end of a bargain, here. Well, it's certainly been an... interesting... brunch situation, but I do have a lot of work to do, and it looks like you are rather popular today! So, I'm going to leave.   Dazki: Of course! Thank you, and best of luck with everything you have to do at work today.   Gilda: All skill. No luck.   Dazki: Fair enough.   Gilda: Things go wrong with luck. (She leaves.)   Dwardazik: So, I heard something about a boat? We got something planned?   Marvin: Who the hell was that?   Grogery: The leader of the House of Gold.   Dwardazik: Oh yeah, that was Gilda Lily. She's pretty nice. Helped us out when we really needed some help.   Marvin: Why do I get the feeling that she really wanted to kill Dazki?   Dwardazik: Everyone wants to kill Dazki.   Dazki: It's not that she wanted to kill me. It's that... I know something that she does not want me to know.   Marvin: That sounds pretty typical for you.   Kesmet: So, can we address the Korro thing?   Marvin: Yeah, I never got a chance to read that.   Dwardazik: Yeah, what is goin' on? So, someone else came to the door, and then something else was going on, and I heard about a boat, and now Lily's gone, and Rosalin looked like she's satisfied?   Dazki: It's from Jack. It's basically a report on what happened to Kerro, as well as some cards.   Dwardazik: Is that "interrogation" actually what they interrogated, or is that the cover story?   Grogery: It makes sense, given what we know about the situation.   Kesmet: Plus the lengths to which he's gone to keep this from other people, it's likely that this is true. Or at the very least, targeted for us to believe.   Dazki: Yep. He did promise he would tell us what would happen with this, and I have a feeling Jack is a man of his word.

They read the report together, commenting on it as they go through.

Kesmet: ..."joined my enemy" and "protected my Adversary"? Isn't that the same person?   Grogery: He decided to take revenge on you by being the very person that you thought he was the whole time.   Kesmet: Wait, did he go back in time?   Grogery: It sounds like it! I mean, how else were your burn wounds going to be five years old?   Marvin: That implies that it happened right when he died?   Grogery: When the rotor... happened... and he turned into the automaton, it sounds like he was transposed with the automaton that was left by the... OK! So. Five years ago, apparently Kerro was around, and some other cleric had been given an automaton and told to take care of it, and told that one day it would turn into a man. The cleric would help this man to fulfill this obligation and what not.   Grogery (cont'd): So, Kerro goes around living through life. He thinks that Kesmet was the one who burned the place down, but he is following the prophecy that "The Metronome Man" gave him about being able to be part of the House of Cards and stuff like that. But after Kesmet killed him, his dead body moves through space and time to switch places with that automaton from five years ago. So the cleric now raises Kerro, Kerro panics and kills the cleric — probably not the smartest choice, but anyway —   Grogery (cont'd): Kerro decides to forego the prophecy that he followed earlier, and instead joined The Hounds Guild and burned down Kesmet's bakery, and tried to get revenge on Kesmet because he knows where we are going to be today (yesterday)... this is confusing.   Marvin: So what you're saying is, on a weird technical level, he was who he said he was in the Casino, —   Grogery: , and also who Kesmet said he was!   Marvin: ...and also who Kesmet said he was. Because he did, in fact, do those things. He just hadn't done them yet.   Dazki: ...yeah. Weird time loop stuff, it sounds like.   Marvin: You know what? I'm gonna choose not to believe this! This is some bullshit. This time bullshit stuff? No! No.   Dazki: It's not any harder to believe than the rest of the stuff we've been dealing with. Time magic is totally a thing.   Marvin: There is way too high of a chance to create a paradox!   Dazki: How do we know?   Dwardazik: How do we know we're not in some time loop right now? AHH! I don't even want to think about it!   Marvin: What, is the sun about to explode or something?!   Dwardazik: No, maybe Lily came here because in the future, we went back in time and asked Lily that we needed a boat! Oh no!!! Oh, I can't handle this!   Grogery: I mean, we have fought things that unbuild reality. I think paradoxes are probably fine.   Marvin: Those are some famous last words, Grogery!   Dazki: Also, how do we know there aren't an infinite number of universes and doing something that you might think causes a paradox creates a new universe from new decisions being made?   Marvin: Oh, fucking great!   Grogery: Like if every time you make a choice, you choose to live in the universe where you have made that choice?   Marvin: Goddamnit...

Kesmet is just sinking to his knees, looking particularly dejected. Who started that fire? Whose fault was that fire?

Kesmet, murmuring: ...if I didn't kill him, he wouldn't have gone back in time... wouldn't've killed my family... oh my gosh...   Grogery: Kesmet, are you doing OK?   Kesmet: Heh... ...it was my fault. Hehehehe... (Kesmet begins cackling hysterically.)   Marvin: No, Kesmet. Whoever gave him the rotor, it's their fault. If he didn't have that, then all this time bullshit that you guys said happened, wouldn't've happened, OK?   Kesmet: Huh? Yeah, uh-huh.   Dazki moves down to give Kesmet a hug.   Marvin: Also, Dennis!   Kesmet: Huh? What?   Marvin: He was working with Dennis, right?   Kesmet: I... I don't know...   Dazki: Yeah, I... I don't know what to say, Kesmet.

You feel as if your thoughts and feelings and cares for Kesmet just bounce off of him, as if he has put up some sort of Mage Armor, and you caring for him is a Magic Missile.

Dwardazik: Look, the actions that you have taken so far, I think they were right in the end. I don't know really what we can say about this whole time loop shit, but you're a good person, man. That's all I got to say.   Grogery: Again, just because bad people choose to do bad things doesn't mean that making one decision, where you couldn't have possibly known how it would turn out — doesn't mean it's your fault.   Marvin: Clearly, it's... whoever gave him this rotor, this Metronome Man?   Grogery: How many other people are affected by stuff like this?   Dwardazik: Kesmet. We're gonna beat the shit out of Dennis, and we're gonna beat the shit out of the Metronome Man. Deal?   Kesmet, through maniacal laughter: I'm all for it! Hahahaha... ahh, just the world's worst practical joke...   Dwardazik, giving an audible sigh: Kesmet, I'm thinking you should take a seat.   Kesmet: I'm already on the floor.   Grogery: Chairs are more comfortable than floor.   Dwardazik: Yeah, come sit at the table. Let's have a bit of a chat, then.   Kesmet is walked over to the table.   Dwardazik: So, clearly Kerro has been manipulated by this Metronome Man. Whatever actions happened in this past (or future [or whatever the hell]), as far as I'm concerned, you've done all right in whatever this present timeline is. And frankly, I'm not necessarily sure I even believe half the shit I'm lookin' at here.   Kesmet: What reason would Jack have to lie?   Dwardazik: Because maybe Jack doesn't want to believe it himself? Jack doesn't want to believe that he's been betrayed, so he's coming up with any reason why? I don't know, man! I'm just sayin', I think whatever you've done — whatever you have or haven't done, in the future or past — you did it for the right reason. I know you put on this "Dennis" thing, and you want to get revenge on Dennis, I know you're focused solely on that. But I don't think I've ever seen you do something that you didn't really truly believe in. And frankly —   Grogery: Wait. I just realized something. Kesmet, you killed Kerro to get revenge on him for killing your family, right?   Kesmet: ...yeah?   Grogery: So you killed Kerro because Kerro killed your family... so you wouldn't have killed him if your family hadn't been killed by Kerro... so it doesn't really make sense to blame yourself when none of this would have happened without any of this happening!   Kesmet: He wasn't the aim of my revenge. There was a lapse in judgment, we were gonna let him go... I was never after the smoking gun, I was after Dennis, who sent him after my family. But, he...   Grogery: But you wouldn't have killed him if he hadn't killed your family, right? You would've had no reason to even interact with him, right?

A bit of a meta-game discussion happened here to clear up some player confusion, and so it was laid down on the table that:

• Kesmet is dejected because he's worried that there's a strong possibility that, when he killed Kerro, he inadvertently caused his family's death in the past.
• Grogery is trying to respond to that by pointing out that Kesmet wouldn't have killed Kerro if Kerro hadn't killed his family anyway.
• Dwardazik is worried that, if this is true, then there could be a bit of a loop here: Kerro killing Kesmet's family is why Kesmet killed Kerro, but Kesmet killing Kerro is why Kerro killed his family.

Marvin: Kesmet, the way you have to look at it is that if Kerro wasn't the horrible person that he was, then he wouldn't've done what he did in the past. He did those things. And if he wasn't the person that he was, then he wouldn't have done those things.   Dwardazik: I have to agree.   Kesmet: Problem is that, if it wasn't for me, I wouldn't've been the target of all those bad things. He would've just done them to someone else.   Marvin: We still confirmed that he did work for Dennis. We were right to interrogate him and go after him at the casino! He was still a bad person. The Metronome Man is where you should aim your ire. Not yourself, you are not to blame here. This is an unprecedented situation that I'm slowly coming to terms with, and I can't even imagine what you're going through right now.   Dazki: All right, so, here's what we do: we go find the Metronome Man and see if we can't figure out how to undo all this.   Kesmet: ehehehehe... heh...   Grogery: Sounds like a plan.   Dazki: Time can be fucked with one way, we can fuck with it another way.   Dwardazik: That's a plan I can get behind, let's do it! Stick it to time gods! And everything like that!   Kesmet: What's the... ehehe... ultimate goal? Resurrecting my family through time shenanigans? Hehehahaha...   Marvin: Never let it happen to anyone else. Ever again. That's something I can get behind.   Dazki: What do you want the ultimate goal to be, Kesmet?   Kesmet: I no longer know... is Dennis even involved, or was it all Korro? If that's the case, then do I have my revenge or do I not?   Dazki: Couldn't tell ya, man. I couldn't tell ya.   Kesmet: Hehe... I want to find out. I want to know, exactly what happened.   Dwardazik: Then let's figure it out!   Kesmet: I want to find this "Metronome Man", more than I want to find Dennis.   Dwardazik: Then let's shove a fireball right up his tinkerin' asshole!   Kesmet: All in good time. First, I gotta know why, when, and what.   Dwardazik: Why? 'Cause he's an asshole. When? ASAP. What? Fireball up the asshole. Let's do it.   Dazki: All right, well, we're leaving tomorrow, so we gotta get plans made and ready.   Dwardazik: Ah! Yes.   Grogery: Also, I don't want to be that person, but, um, I'm 300 gold of diamond dust down. I'm willing to take one for the team on this one, but if anyone wants to donate to Grogery's "let's not have people die" fund, this would be a good opportunity to do so!   Kesmet: Let's stop by the market, liquidate some of the crap we have on us, and gear ourselves up.   Dwardazik: Dazki?   Dazki: Yeah?   Dwardazik: I think we can always do better. I'm paying for this one. I don't want you to feel like you have to pay for this and treat it like it was your fault. So I'm going to pay Grogery the 300 gold on this one. (He does.) Besides, heaven knows he's gonna need the diamond dust to resurrect my ass in the future, eh?   Dazki: Let's hope not. All right, to the market, and what else do we need to do before we leave? Oh, we need to talk to Barry, too. Barry needs to come with us on this one. Because we're heading towards The Phantasmagoria, this might be our one chance to get Barry back to himself. If he wants it.   Dwardazik: Yeah, of course.   Grogery: I'm just now realizing... one of the things I think we picked up in our research in the House of Crystal before we went off to see Vicra is that we learned that apparently, in the Phantasmagoria, they've been able to heal people of some Turmoil mutations by manipulating time magic. Hint-hint.   Dazki: Yep. Exactly.   Grogery: Interesting to see that come full circle.   Dazki: Also, Baxton had some advice to try to avoid thinking like "A". Because this seems to be his MO, with hopelessness and desperation.   Marvin: Thinking like "A"?   Grogery: Is that the one who wants to alter reality?   Dazki: Yeah, that's the one we think we're going up against now.   Marvin: I thought... "Metronome Man"... oh it's their name that starts with the letter, right...   Dazki: OK, so, market, talk to Barry, talk to the captain of the boat. What else do we need to do today?   Dwardazik: Gather our traveling supplies, set our affairs in order, make sure that Rosalin and the house will be taken care of, and get our ass out in that boat!   Grogery: I mean, the boat will be tomorrow, but...   Dwardazik: Yeah...

Essentially Crystals™

Dazki goes to get Barry. He's sifting around in the tub that he uses as a bath, acting a bit cagey. They meet up with the rest of the party, and Dwardazik calls the rest of the house in for a meeting.

Jersey: Is everything OK?   Dazki: Everything's fine. We're going to have to be leaving the city for a while again, so you and Rosalin are in charge here.   Dwardazik: Our plan is to get on a boat here, as you're probably aware (Barry, we're letting you know).   Barry: Oh yeah, boats! Boats. Boats, and stuff.   Dwardazik: We wanted to discuss our plans and ask you a couple of things, see if you want to go with us, and make sure our affairs are in order. And to make sure that, Rosalin, you have everything you need to care of 'em.   Rosalin: I'm perfectly capable of taking care of a normal house. So, as long as this is normal, it should be good. If it gets abnormal, we have Jersey.   Dwardazik: Do you think that you could talk to anyone in your noble circles or anything about extra security? Not that Jersey isn't great, I'm just concerned about the property as a whole... I don't know, maybe get some new locks on the doors or somethin'?   Rosalin: I'll see what I can do.   Dazki: Perfect. Jersey, what do you think? Would you need anything from us?   Jersey: The lady pays me.   Dwardazik: I was thinkin' about getting him some kind of axe or something, but... eh, I don't know if we have the time to get that sorted out right now.   Jersey: That was supposed to be a secret, I'm so sorry. (He bows.) My apologies, lady.   Dwardazik: ...right. So, Barry. We're going to be heading over towards the northeast, up the river in order to find some information about our next potential target. I believe that Dazki has a lead here that might lead to a potential cure for your condition. We might find it in this destination we're heading towards.   Barry: Oh, that's great! So, like, you'll come back here and fix me with the antidote?   Dwardazik: It's great because that means that you get to go there and potentially find the solution with us!   Barry:

  Grogery: It might not be something that's movable, Barry.   Marvin: But guess what? You are extremely mobile!   Dwardazik: Hey, at least it's a river, right?   Marvin: Yeah, you'll feel right at home!   Barry: I don't know if that's racist, because I don't think "Fish" is a race...   Dwardazik: It's not racist. You jumped inside of our water barrel because it was too hot.   Dazki: Here's the thing, Barry. We don't know if we're gonna find it. We don't know if it'll be mobile if we do find a cure. But if you want to be Barry-before-he-was-a-fishperson, if that's what you want, you're gonna need to come with us. If you're happy and content being the person you are now, you're more than welcome to stay here. Those are the two options you have.   Barry: OK, I don't know if you noticed, but I'm scared, like all the time.   Dazki: Yes, I know.   Dwardazik: Couldn't tell...   Dazki: But, being brave isn't the lack of being afraid. Being brave is being willing to take action even when you're scared. And I know you can be brave.   Barry: Uhhhhhh...   Dwardazik: You can do it, Barry!   Barry: And... and you'll keep me safe?   Dazki: We certainly will. We'll do our best to help keep you safe. And you've gotta help keep us safe too.   Kesmet: Come on, Barry. You are an important and valued member of this party. (Persuasion 24)   Barry: Yeah, ye — oh yeah!   Dazki: So. If you want the option to become the person you used to be, we'd like you to come with us. This might be the only opportunity.   Barry: I've just gotta believe in my deep down self!   Dwardazik: Exactly!   Barry: Not my yucky stinky outer self!   Kesmet: Should we read into that?   Grogery: Now, Barry, we're not sure if a cure is going to exist over here. But this is definitely the best shot we have.   Barry: OK. I think I can keep you safe. I just... I need some time to... oh gosh, when are we going?   Dazki: Tomorrow.   Barry: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...   Dazki: We are heading to the market in just a little while so we can stock up on anything we may need.   Barry: I gotta go get some stuff too!   Dazki: Yeah! Yep, we were hoping you'd come with us.   Barry: No, I'm gonna go right now.   Dwardazik: ...OK.   Dazki: ...if that's what you want. Meet us back here by sunset.   Marvin, taking Barry aside as he is about to run off: Hey, Barry? Doesn't feel so great, huh? When someone says somethin' a little prejudiced to you? Does it?   Barry: ...what? Well, listen. Maybe my inner self is bad. But, you know, like a wise man said this one time, like, you gotta know your inner self. Even if it's bad, you should still at least listen to it. That way, you know what advice not to do.   Marvin: ...you keep workin' on that!   Barry: Look, I gotta go. I gotta... dude, there's not enough time to do this right now! But, if I gotta go protected a bunch of people on a boat, I gotta leave now.   Dazki: All right, be back here by sunset.   Barry: I'm gonna need a lot of stuff. Hey, hey! Waitwaitwaitwait! Before I go... ... ... can I have, like... ...200 gold?   Marvin: HERE WE GO.   Grogery: I mean, you have some gold, I think, from our last split?   Barry: Nope! Can I have... I'm gonna need more.   Marvin: What do you need it for?   Barry: ...supplies.   Marvin: What kind? We don't want to buy the same thing here. We're going to get supplies too.   Barry: No, no, you won't, you won't. But I just need 200 gold, OK? ... ... 100 gold?   Marvin: Oh my god.   Dazki: What is it for?   Barry: sup-... ... supplies...   Dazki: What supplies, specifically?   Grogery: Yeah, I can make food and water. You're not gonna need a lot of those kinds of supplies.   Kesmet: Barry. Now, members of the party — especially valued ones! — share as much information as they can with each other, so as to optimize which supplies are getting bought. Maybe we won't buy the same ones, but maybe some of the ones you were gonna buy could've been redundant.   Dwardazik: Are you buying lotion for your scales?   Barry: No... no! No. So, so, —   Dwardazik: I'm not gonna be upset if you're buying lotion, so just tell us.   Barry: No, you're gonna... OK. You're gonna think it's a bad investment, but I really think it's gonna pay off.   Marvin: Oh please, do tell!   Dwardazik: Marvin... OK, Barry, what is it?   Barry: So, I don't have any magic powers. I don't think.   Dwardazik: ...OK...   Dazki: Right.   Barry: And you guys with magic powers, you do really good, and you're really confident, and I don't have any magic powers, and I'm not confident.   Dwardazik: Well, we can teach you how to drink more.   Kesmet + Grogery: ...where are you going with this...   Barry: But I was talking to this guy, and he was like, "well, you just gotta believe in your inner self"! And I'm like, "well, I don't even know who my inner self even is", and he's like, "well, we can help you find it!"   Dwardazik (and probably everyone):

  Dazki: Was "this guy" outside of a temple?   Barry: Did you see him too?!   Dwardazik goes straight to the table.   Dazki: I'm gonna go ahead and recommend you don't listen to that guy.   Barry: No, he said I can be my own boss! Can you believe it?! You said you weren't my boss, but I can be my own boss!   Kesmet, projecting a Minor Illusion of the last Follower of Fame and Fortune that they saw: Is this the guy?   Barry: No, but he's got the same... oh, this must be a different cleric, then! I'm getting into religion, guys, and I didn't want to tell you because you already have a religion man, and I don't know if the religions fight each other.   Marvin: Barry, that is quite possibly the most correct and incorrect sentence I've ever heard.   Grogery: They don't necessarily "fight each other", but each of us thinks that the other religion is a bad idea.   Barry: But I... you guys didn't... you guys said you didn't want to be my boss, and that we would be equals, but I don't feel equal. But if I'm my own boss, and you guys can be your own bosses too, why can't I be my own boss?   Dwardazik: Why don't you go and earn that 200 gold, and then you can go give it away to people trying to rip you off whenever you want?   Marvin: I've got an even better solution, Barry: I wanna give you a gift. A gift that'll make you be your own boss, any day of the week.   Barry: O... OK...?   Marvin hands Barry his Flintlock Pistol and the bullets.   Marvin: Gun. You now have gun. Do with it what you will.   Kesmet: Barry. You may be an important and valued member of this party. We are also important and valued members of this party. You can be your own boss. Each of us knows that we are fallible, and we frequently take advice from the others who are their own boss. But you have to remember, you can trust the party more than you can trust some stranger. This cleric is probably taking advantage of you, and it is probably a bad idea to give him any more money. He isn't going to give you anything in return for it. At least, nothing important.   Barry: He's given me lots of stuff in return! And he did say you would say stuff like this.   Marvin: But did he give you gun?   Dazki: All right, Barry, listen. You've already given him a lot of money, right?   Barry: It's not really "giving" money, —   Dazki: You've already invested a lot of money with this person, correct? And you don't have magic powers yet, right?   Barry: No, but I'm working towards magic powers!   Dazki: But 200 more gold pieces won't get you there. You've already —   Barry: No, that's just to buy more Crystals™.   Marvin: ...what are the Crystals™ for?   Dwardazik: Yeah, what are the Crystals™ for?   Barry: They're just as good as normal spell stuff, —   Dwardazik: Wait, do you have a Crystal™? I'm actually interested.   Barry: Oh, I have a fuckton of 'em.   Dwardazik: Could I see a couple of them?   Barry: Yeah, they're Essentially Crystals™!   Marvin: But can they shoot bullets, Barry?   Barry: The gun is really cool.

Barry gets some Crystals™ for Dwardazik to inspect: the Crystals™ are different colors, much like what gems would be, and they are quite large. They are primarily halite, but there are trace amounts of other elements in there too.

Dwardazik: Listen...   Barry: No-no-no, I've figured it out. I can prove to you — I can prove it!   Dwardazik: OK, what are you gonna prove?   Barry: I've been bottling holy water!   Dwardazik: ...OK?   Barry: See, I found out that... that, um... I can dissolve the Crystals™ in water, and then the water will get the holy powers, right? I think it'll work!   Dwardazik: ...OK? Excuse me, Dazki?   Dazki: Yeah?   Dwardazik: Dazki, and Kesmet, I'm going to require your assistance. May I please borrow one of your Crystals™, Barry?   Barry: OK, I mean, you can borrow it, but I mean, if you end up using it for a spell, and it gets used up, like I kinda want a bit of a kickback, because I've got a lot of these things, and honestly, the first hit's free, right? And then you're gonna keep —   Dwardazik: Uh-huh. Sure. OK. Now Barry, I'd like you to turn around.   Barry: OK. (He does.)

Dwardazik takes out his water flask and asks Dazki to borrow his as well, which Dazki obliges. He then gets Kesmet to put some table salt into one of the two flasks, making no effort to hide from Barry that this is what he has asked for. Finally, Dwardazik breaks off part of one of Barry's Crystals™ and sprinkles the rubble into the other flask, making sure that everybody else other than Barry knows which flask has which.

Dwardazik: Everyone. You all saw which flask the Crystal™ went into — DON'T say which one. And you all saw which one Kesmet put salt into, correct?   Everyone agrees.   Dwardazik: All right, no one indicate anything. Barry, go ahead and turn around. Tell me the difference between these two flasks. And I'm talkin' about taste.   Barry: You want me to drink... —   Dwardazik: The holy water. Yes.   Barry: Where did you get holy water?!   Dwardazik: It's actually just normal water, but it's gonna taste like holy water to you.   Barry: Well, yeah, holy water tastes like normal water.   Dwardazik: Just taste it. Which one do you think is your Crystal™?   Barry: Wait, did you break my Crystal™?!   Dwardazik, slamming 10 gold on the table: I don't care! Answer my question, Barry!   Barry, after drinking some of both: Well, they're both gross. What did you want?   Dwardazik: So, which one was your Crystal™? Did you think they tasted similar? If not the same?   Barry: Well, yeah? The salts help dissolve the natural power of the gem.   Marvin: Dwardazik, I don't think you're gonna get through to him.   Dazki: Yeah, that's a ... listen, Barry —   Barry: It takes what? It takes 300 gold's worth of diamond —   Dwardazik: I'm going to kill them.   Barry: — to save somebody's life!   Dwardazik: I'm going to kill them all!   Barry: Imagine if you could do it at a TENTH the cost!   Dwardazik: I'm goin' right now! (He starts to stand up.)   Grogery: Wait-wait-wait, Dwardazik, stop.   Barry: A TENTH the cost, to save a life!   Grogery: All right. Here's an interesting perspective on it, OK? Barry, most clerics you'll find will say something to the effect of, they get their magic through the work they put in with their god, all right?   Barry: Uh-huh!   Grogery: I got it through long hours, and meditation, and study, and practice, and all that.   Barry: Oh, I just paid a bunch of money! That's way easier!   Grogery: Well, yeah, see, here's the thing, the easier it is, the more of it you have to do in order to actually manifest your magic.   Barry: Oh my god, that's exactly what the cleric was saying!   Grogery: So, at some point, you have to make the decision, "am I more effective by throwing all my money at something easy, or by saving my money for something more useful and maybe working at something a little bit harder?". Because if you do harder work, you get your powers faster, and you still have your money at the end. And it turns out that this whole time, perhaps the guy who is asking money of you is simply putting in his hard work to try to get you to give him money.   Barry: Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh... so what you're saying is, I need to sell more Crystals™, then I'll get more favor from the god!   Marvin: ...it's a pyramid scheme...it's a pyramid scheme...   Grogery: Again, I don't necessarily agree with how that religion operates, but I'm sure if you are somehow able to manifest the ability to sell these in such a way to recoup the costs, while providing a tangible benefit to those around you, that is something worthy of — I would think that's something worthy of getting some magic for!   Kesmet: Barry. Just don't give that cleric any more money. You and Grogery are both important and valued members of the party. That cleric is not an important and valued member of the party.   Barry: No, but... he's gonna help me help you!   Marvin: No, he really won't.   Kesmet: Say it with me. "The money cleric is not an important and valued member of the party."   Barry: I — no — because —   Kesmet: Say it with me:   Everyone (in unison): The money cleric is not an important and valued member of the party.   Marvin: Good! Very good!   Barry: But —   Kesmet: So, please default to whatever Grogery has in mind for direction.   Barry: But I, OK, I'll do what Grogery says.   Kesmet: And don't give the other guy any more money.   Barry: I gotta sell these Crystals™, though. I gotta put the hard work in, and that's how I can really be my own boss.   Marvin: Yes.   Dazki: That's fine. Still meet us back here at sunset.   Barry: OK. So... ... ... ...   Dwardazik: We're not giving you any more gold.   Barry: But you did break my Crystal™.   Dwardazik: I just threw 10 gold at you!   Barry, sheepishly: It was kinda worth 30 gold...   Marvin: Oh. My. God.   Barry: It was a really... big one...   Dwardazik, cracking his knuckles: Barry. Those really big Crystals™, do you know what would happen if you had many many smaller Crystals™? You could sell a whole lot more of 'em!   Barry: Come on, man, I paid a bunch of money just like you guys did, and now you're takin' and breakin' my stuff...   Marvin: "Just like we did"? What are you talking about?   Dwardazik: I... what do you mean?   Marvin: Do you think Dwardazik just got those muscles because he gave someone a bunch of money?   Barry: No, I gave you guys a bunch of money...   Grogery: Oh yeah, he gave us some money to help pay for stuff in the house.   Dazki: We all contributed to that. That was an even thing, for everybody. At least, everybody who got a portion of Baxton's wealth.   Marvin: Wait, how loaded was Baxton?   Dazki: Super loaded.   Grogery: Pretty loaded.   Barry: OK, well, I'm gonna put the work in. I know you people don't believe in me, but I'm gonna put the work in.   Marvin: We do, actually.   Dazki: We believe in you, that's why we're trying to help you in this direction.   Barry: Tryin' to boss me around, when you said you're not my boss, and I'm my own boss, and —   Dwardazik: I'm not gonna sit around and let Barry get scammed!   Barry: I'm not getting scammed, I'm making — being my own boss!   Dazki: We care about you, so we want to make sure you put the work in. We're not just gonna give you free money.   Grogery: If we give you free money, then you can't put the work in for it.   Barry: What if I show you a think I learned? Then will you...   Dwardazik: Oh?   Marvin: What did you learn?   Kesmet: If it's an impressive enough thing.   Barry: ...I can't do it, because all you people are perfectly healthy...   Dwardazik, pulling a knife out: Do I have to hurt myself? Is this like Grogery's healing?

Dwardazik cuts his hand, and Kesmet cauterizes the wound. Barry grabs a Crystal™ and attempts to cast Cure Wounds... completely, successfully, healing Dwardazik's wound.

Grogery: ...wow.   Marvin: ...a true miracle, if I've ever seen one. ...his holy symbol is salt?!   Dazki: I'm genuinely impressed, Barry.   Dwardazik: What the hell?!   Barry seems just as confused as everybody else.   Dazki: You got that through your belief and through your faith, not through us giving you free money. So you just need to continue doing that.   Dwardazik: So that actually worked? Grogery, take a look at this?   Grogery: Yeah, this is healed!   Dwardazik: It actually feels completely fine! Outside of the pain lingering from the burn marks from KESMET.   Barry: ...what the?   Marvin: Are you surprised? Isn't that what you intended to do, Barry?   Dwardazik: Yeah, Barry, I think that actually worked out really well! Maybe we're wrong about this whole god thing!   Marvin: What's the name of this god, by the way?   Dwardazik: Well, what even is a god anyway? It's just belief, right? You know what, Barry, I think this is a great thing for you! (He pulls out 20 more gold to bring the total up to 30.)   Barry: I don't understand how that worked.   Grogery: See? You had faith, and you tried! That's basically how it works!   Kesmet: Barry, it worked because YOU. Are an IMPORTANT. And VALUED. MEMBER. Of this PARTY. That's why it worked.   Barry: Uh...   Kesmet: Say it with me, just like that guy wasn't! "I, Barry, am an important and valued member of this party!"   Dwardazik: Say it! "I, Barry, am an important and valued member of this party!"   Barry: ...I think you guys are gonna be callin' me "Boss" soon!   Dazki: You know, we just might, Boss.   Dwardazik: You're doin' a great job, Boss! You go out there and sell those Crystals™!   Kesmet: ...don't buy any more from the guy.   Grogery: You don't want him to be your boss. You're your own boss.   Dwardazik: Yeah, make him buy Crystals™ from YOU!   Marvin: Yeah, there you go!

Grogery gives Barry a hug for casting his very first spell.