2-03: The Fat and the Fury Us

STEVE! slapped his hands together and rubbed them. The faint but subtle glow of The Equidistant glittered off of his eyes and a few of his metallic accoutrements. "NOW PROFESSOR IS TALKING. STEVE! HAS REGAINED HIS INTEREST."
Biin Hejj shoved a hot dog bun stuffed with cheese product and mustard into his mouth. He just nodded and chewed. "Mah gim ba muf mumt?"
"Indeed you do!" Horatio tittered.
Apparently his translation spectacles were able to translate gluttonous pig, Augusta thought. "You mean that you are expecting us to commit grand theft—uh—dirigible so you can go traipsing about the Multiverse? I quit my job to become a criminal?"
Horatio blinked back at her. "Why of course I do, deary." He winked and smiled at her.
Augusta put her head in her hands. It throbbed like a thousand teacups falling to the floor and shattering one after the other. In another moment, she started to sob. "I... I'm going crazy, aren't I? All of those long nights... all of those times my mother said that I should be getting married and having children, but I told her I wasn't interested in maternity... All of those tuition bills and second-hand clothing shops and trying to make ends meet. All of the stress. It's finally caught up to me and I've gone bat-poop crazy." Her sobs deepened.
Biin swallowed hard and started to pat her back. "Now, now. There, m'lady. Fret naught. You are not mentally unstable. Take it from me. I ought to know, for I've oft traversed upon the far side of loony. And in those moments, devoid of any shred of rationality, I did not question my state of mind as you are now."
Augusta's sobs grew faint, but she kept her head in her hands, not looking at the group. Meanwhile, STEVE! and Horatio simply exchanged shrugs.
"Perhaps if you should introduce us to one of your friends in this fine establishment of cheese products and faux sausage links," said Biin. He gestured around the room.
Augusta looked up and gave a pitiful smile at the lanky man. "Hot dogs," she chuckled.
Biin looked around with wide eyes. "Well, these look more like small, wet versions of the dire wolves I knew of, but if they would also help thee regain a modicum of sanity, I suppose..."
Augusta laughed in spite of herself, followed by another miserable sniff. "No, those so-called faux sausages you were talking about. They are called hot dogs."
Biin's eyes widened and he stood up abruptly, looking a shade more pale than normal. "By Donii and all the deities of Zuzi, didst we just feast upon canines?"
Augusta laughed again and used a napkin to wipe her nose. "Relax, Mr. Hejj. It's just a name for some ground up beef and pork made to look like a sausage but is probably pretty unhealthy."
"Oh..." he said as he slid back down into his chair a bit unsteadily. "This world is strange to me as well, and that's without the extra dimension-and-a-half extra."
With another glace to make sure Biin wasn't going to faint, Augusta stood up on her toes and looked around the room. Finally, she spied someone. "Mrs. Green!" She waved high.
A woman in her fifties waved and wandered over. "Auggie! I haven't seen you in a while. Are you still working at the library? We haven't seen you in a while, now." By the time she reached Augusta, she had her arms opened wide.
"I've—taken another job..." She stepped into the woman's embrace. When she emerged, Horatio was grinning back at her.
"Have you now, dearie?" He winked and turned to offer his hand to Mrs. Green. "Why, hello there."
"I could quit, you know." Augusta shot him a look, but he was taking the hand of Mrs. Green and bringing it to his lips.
Mrs. Green giggled. "Oh, you are a charmer, aren't you?" Her cheeks blushed deeply. "Are you Auggie's employer? What do you do?"
Horatio beamed at Augusta, who shot him another warning look. "You call me 'Auggie', Professor, and, so help me Fligbug, I will quit."
"Well, I hope you don't, Auggie," said Mrs. Green. "This is the happiest I've seen you in—well—ever."
Augusta blinked. "What, really?"
"And that's after she was sobbing like a newspawn!" Biin added.
Everyone around the table and a few others looked at Biin Hejj. He looked back and shrugged. "What? It's true."
Augusta sighed deep and clapped his shoulder, then turned to the professor. "You will probably drive me nuts, but she's right. I have been more engaged and happy than I can remember in a long time. But I'm not nuts yet." She glanced at Biin. "Thank you."
Biin just grinned back like a goofy duck who just discovered the joys of a muddy pond on a spring day. "Fantastic. Now, let's go steal an airship!"
Mrs. Green suddenly stopped smiling. "Wait—what?"